Honor and Obey
Page 7
“No one before you matters.” He nuzzled my neck, relaxing into me.
“Don’t,” I choked out. I wanted to run away from what was left of my life.
“Please.” His words were desperate. His lips moved over my neck, leaving a tiny trail of kisses. I flinched and pulled back from him. His breathing grew heavy and his chest pushed against mine. “Emma, don’t leave me,” his words barely a whisper but the desperation could be heard for miles.
I closed my eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears.
“Tell me you love me.” He tried to look in my eyes but I turned my head away from him. He let go of my wrists and moved his hands to either side of my face, forcing me to look in his direction.
“I don’t want to,” I whispered.
His eyes widened and he pushed his lips against mine. I wanted to slap him, but my body betrayed me.
My mouth began to move against his. My lips parted slightly and he slipped the tip of his tongue inside. I pushed back against it with my own. He moaned into my mouth and ground his hips into mine. I gasped. One of his hands traveled down my side and gripped my hip, pulling me tighter against him. I pulled my head back, breaking the kiss, and taking a moment to catch my breath.
“I can’t. I can’t do this.” I shook my head forcing myself to be strong.
William’s thumbs brushed over my cheek, wiping away my tears.
“Emma, you are the only person who means anything to me.”
Chapter Thirteen
I looked down at my hands and back into his eyes. Heavy raindrops began to fall around us and I shivered at the shift in the weather.
“Come home with me please. I will tell you anything you want to know. Please.” He looked terrified and… angry.
The rain got heavier and began to drip down off the branches onto us. Thunder crashed off in the distance. I looked at William and nodded. He quickly wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards his car. The clouds let loose and we were soaked before we made it to the door.
He opened the car door for me and waited for me to get inside before going around to his side. I fastened my seat belt and waited for the awful moment of truths. William started the car and backed out onto the dirt drive that led out of the cemetery. We rode in silence for a moment, listening to the sound of the rain beating against the car.
“Who is she?” I could barely speak. William swallowed hard and shifted gears.
“She… shares a similar… lifestyle with me.” He glanced in my direction but quickly looked back at the road.
“What does that mean? Is she a teacher?” I couldn’t wrap my head around any of this.
He let out a small choked laugh and shook his head. “No.” He looked at me again, his face serious.
It hit me like a brick to the chest. My mind flashed to the third floor. “She’s… like me?” I stared off at the rain. How was I so naive to think I was the only one?
“No. No one is like you.” He reached over to grab my hand, but I pulled away from him, pressing myself against the car door. “She’s like me.”
I looked over at him, my mouth hanging wide open as I let the information sink in.
“But why would you…” My words trailed off as I tried to understand what he was telling me. He sighed loudly and gripped the steering wheel tighter. His foot pushing down harder on the accelerator.
“Slow down.” I dug my fingers into the leather seats as we whipped down the slick streets at frightening speeds.
“She helps me work through things, Emma.”
“Work through things? What does that even mean?” I could feel the tears forming again. I wanted so desperately not to cry. For once in my life, I wanted to be the strong one.
“Sexually. She is a… dom.” He reached for me again, but I pulled away. His brows pulled together as he watched me recoil from his touch.
“Slow down.” My head was spinning and I felt like I was on the verge of dying from a broken heart. None of this made sense.
I wasn’t exactly sure of the definition of what a dom was, but I knew William was one. I couldn’t begin to picture him giving up all of his control.
“Why was she there?” My patience was gone and I just needed answers. Was she in love with him? Had she come to my aunt’s funeral to claim him? The idea made me sick to my stomach. She didn’t put up much of a fight, if that was her intention.
“She wasn’t there for me. She came to pay her respects to your aunt.” He glanced in my direction but quickly looked back at the road. It was pouring harder now and it was almost impossible to see anything. I turned to face him, waiting for him to fill in the blanks.
He licked his lips and continued to explain. “Your aunt…” His voice trailed off as he searched for the right words. My heart was beating out of my chest. He cleared his throat and began again. “You aunt was also like me.”
My mouth fell open as I stared at him, wishing the universe would swallow me whole. He knew my aunt. He lied to me.
“No!” I shook my head. “No!”
His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. “Emma, please! I never touched her. Never! I promise you. I barely knew her.” His grip was painfully tight and I tried to pull free. “I haven’t been with anyone since I began seeing you.”
“You knew her this whole time? You have been lying to me this whole time?” I was seeing red now. My emotions shifted from heartbreak to anger and I wanted to take it out on him.
“Emma, please. I didn’t know when I met you. I will tell you anything you want to know.” He was looking at me, his eyes full of sadness.
“I hate you!” I seethed. He flinched at my words as if I had actually hit him. I couldn’t deal with all of this anymore. With life. “Emma, please.” His voice broke. A bright flash flickered across his face and I glanced out of the windshield just in time to see the light grow larger.
“William!” I screamed. His hand ripped away from mine. The sound of my screams was barely audible over the sound of crunching metal and shattering glass. The world spun in circles and I reached out to grab William. My hands thrashed around as I tried desperately to touch him.
As quickly as it happened, everything was still and silent. I was unable to make a sound. I tried to cling to consciousness. My head was lost in a fog. I blinked my eyes open and could see the blurry image of William. He was slumped against the steering wheel, unmoving, with blood on his face. I tried to reach for him, but everything went dim as pain shot through my body; then I knew no more as the darkness descended.
I had no idea how long I was unconscious. It may have been minutes or days. During that time, I dreamed of William. I saw myself back in that grassy patch surrounded by more people I didn’t know paying their last respects to Judy.
Fear washed over me at the thought of finally losing William; the only person I had left.
One minute, I’d been ready to throw in the towel on our relationship. Then, all I wanted was to hear was William’s voice telling me everything was going to be okay. I didn’t care about anything else.
Chapter Fourteen
The steady beeping of the heart monitor machine laced its way through my dreams. It replaced the sound of my text messages. I smiled reading all of the private notes from William.
It beeped and I was back at my aunt’s house, hitting snooze on the alarm clock, begging for a few more minutes of sleep.
It beeped and I was in a checkout line at the grocery store. That was probably the least exciting dream I had. Light washed over my face, and that last terrifying second before we crashed played over in my mind. William begging me to stay with him and me telling him I hated him. I felt sick.
Really felt sick. My stomach turned and I slowly blinked my eyes open. My head was throbbing with pain and the slightest amount of illumination magnified it.
“Welcome back,” a cheery voice called out. A woman who looked to be in her early forties and wearing cartoon emblazoned scrubs was standing over me, smiling.
“So bright,” I whispered, my voice hoarse.
“Sorry about that. How you feeling?” she asked as I continued to blink rapidly.
“William?” I asked, not wanting to waste my voice talking about myself.
“The man you were brought in with? I will have the doctor speak with you about his condition.” She leaned in closer to me, brushing my hair from my forehead. Her smile brightened and I nodded, squeezing my eyes closed.
The doctor entered the room right as if on cue. He and the nurse spoke quietly at the foot of my bed.
The doctor moved closer to the head of my bed and was writing something down on a clipboard over me. “How are you feeling Ms. Townsend?”
“My head hurts and I could use a drink.”
He continued to write something then paused to speak. “We’ll get you some water.” He nodded to the nurse and I watched her move to the bedside, and then turned my head slowly back to the doctor.
“William?” I asked urgently.
“We’ll know more after some tests. We’ll let you know when we do. Right now, he’s still unconscious.”
“Can you tell me the last thing you remember?” He looked at me expectantly.
“The car accident.” My mind flashed to the image of William lying motionless next to me.
“Can you tell me your full name?”
“Emma May Townsend.”
“Very good Ms. Townsend. Now, is there someone we can call for you?”
“No.” I swallowed hard wanting to fight back my despair. He was all I had now—and I doubted I had him anymore.
I sucked in a deep breath. He was really hurt, and I wasn’t there with him. I pushed to sit myself up, but I was dizzy and weak. I reached for the IV in my hand to pull it out. William would need me! I had to go to him.
“Not so fast.” The doctor held out his hand to keep me in bed. “Your vitals are stable, but I want to keep you here a little longer just to make sure you are alright. After a CAT scan, we should be able to rule out any serious injury to you. I promise, you can see him then.”
I nodded, laying my head back on the pillow. I was too dizzy to stand up anyway.
“How long was I out?” I was afraid to hear the answer.
The doctor checked the watch on his wrist. “Long enough that we’re going to be observing you for a bit,” the doctor said.
It didn’t sound that bad and I wanted to protest. I needed to see William to make sure he was okay.
“Lay back and relax. The test shouldn’t take long.” Two others in scrubs appeared at my side. I hadn’t noticed them before. They locked the railings on my bed and began to push me out of the room.
“I’m fine really. I don’t need this.” One of the women looked down at me and smiled but no one said anything to me. They were too busy talking amongst themselves using medical jargon that I couldn’t begin to understand. I was scared, and I wanted William by my side.
I closed my eyes and forced myself not to cry. I felt like I was dying. Not because of my injuries, but because my heart had been shattered. I had no one else to turn to. I needed to know he was all right.
The test went by in a blur. Everything was normal. I didn’t care either way. If William was not okay, I didn’t want to live. I was torn between my love and hate for him. I was a mess.
Chapter Fifteen
It seemed like an eternity before I was finally released from the ER. I barely registered the doctor’s comments on signs of things to watch for. I just wanted to get to William.
I grabbed my clothing and changed quickly in the tiny restroom. I dared to take a glance at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. My hair was knotted and wild. I ran my hands through my hair and winced as my fingers rubbed over the large lump that had formed after my head bounced off the passenger window. I squeezed my eyes closed and waited a moment for the pain to pass. When it was finally manageable, I turned on the sink and splashed some cold water on my face.
I was suddenly terrified to see William. I didn’t know if I could handle seeing him so helpless and broken. The doctor hadn’t told me much at all about William yet. He was lucky to be alive, considering he hadn’t been wearing his seatbelt at the time. I cringed as the thought of how bad it could have been crossed my mind.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to be strong.
I made my way out into the hallway, glancing in both directions. I spotted a nurses’ station down the hall to the right. I made my way toward it, trying not to let my mind run wild with William.
“Excuse me.” My voice was shaky and I swallowed hard trying to calm my nerves.
“Yes, ma’am?” The nurse behind the counter looked like she was on the bad end of a long shift.
“I’m looking for William Honor? He was brought in with me.” She eyed me for a moment before registering whom I was talking about.
“Yes. He’s in 13. Down the hall to the left.” She flashed me a quick polite smile and her attention went back to the paperwork she had been filling out. I smiled and turned to find his room. My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack.
I stood outside of room 13 and took a deep breath. I pushed the door open slowly and slipped inside. The familiar beeping of a heart monitor was in the background. The moment I saw him, my heart sank. He lay in the hospital bed covered in a thin white blanket. I slowly stepped towards his motionless body.
“William?”
He didn’t respond and I felt tears threatening to fall. I stepped closer and reached out to touch his hand. All of the emotions of the day came rushing back to me all at once. My aunt’s funeral, the mysterious woman, and the accident. My chest ached as I recalled the horrible fight we had just before the crash.
“Don’t,” I choked out. I wanted to run away from what was left of my life.
“Please.” His words were desperate. His lips moved over my neck, leaving a tiny trail of kisses. I flinched and pulled back from him. His breathing grew heavy and his chest pushed against mine. “Emma, don’t leave me,” his words barely a whisper but the desperation could be heard for miles.
I closed my eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears.
“Tell me you love me.” He tried to look in my eyes but I turned my head away from him. He let go of my wrists and moved his hands to either side of my face, forcing me to look in his direction.
“I don’t want to,” I whispered.
His eyes widened and he pushed his lips against mine. I wanted to slap him, but my body betrayed me.
My mouth began to move against his. My lips parted slightly and he slipped the tip of his tongue inside. I pushed back against it with my own. He moaned into my mouth and ground his hips into mine. I gasped. One of his hands traveled down my side and gripped my hip, pulling me tighter against him. I pulled my head back, breaking the kiss, and taking a moment to catch my breath.
“I can’t. I can’t do this.” I shook my head forcing myself to be strong.
William’s thumbs brushed over my cheek, wiping away my tears.
“Emma, you are the only person who means anything to me.”
Chapter Thirteen
I looked down at my hands and back into his eyes. Heavy raindrops began to fall around us and I shivered at the shift in the weather.
“Come home with me please. I will tell you anything you want to know. Please.” He looked terrified and… angry.
The rain got heavier and began to drip down off the branches onto us. Thunder crashed off in the distance. I looked at William and nodded. He quickly wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards his car. The clouds let loose and we were soaked before we made it to the door.
He opened the car door for me and waited for me to get inside before going around to his side. I fastened my seat belt and waited for the awful moment of truths. William started the car and backed out onto the dirt drive that led out of the cemetery. We rode in silence for a moment, listening to the sound of the rain beating against the car.
“Who is she?” I could barely speak. William swallowed hard and shifted gears.
“She… shares a similar… lifestyle with me.” He glanced in my direction but quickly looked back at the road.
“What does that mean? Is she a teacher?” I couldn’t wrap my head around any of this.
He let out a small choked laugh and shook his head. “No.” He looked at me again, his face serious.
It hit me like a brick to the chest. My mind flashed to the third floor. “She’s… like me?” I stared off at the rain. How was I so naive to think I was the only one?
“No. No one is like you.” He reached over to grab my hand, but I pulled away from him, pressing myself against the car door. “She’s like me.”
I looked over at him, my mouth hanging wide open as I let the information sink in.
“But why would you…” My words trailed off as I tried to understand what he was telling me. He sighed loudly and gripped the steering wheel tighter. His foot pushing down harder on the accelerator.
“Slow down.” I dug my fingers into the leather seats as we whipped down the slick streets at frightening speeds.
“She helps me work through things, Emma.”
“Work through things? What does that even mean?” I could feel the tears forming again. I wanted so desperately not to cry. For once in my life, I wanted to be the strong one.
“Sexually. She is a… dom.” He reached for me again, but I pulled away. His brows pulled together as he watched me recoil from his touch.
“Slow down.” My head was spinning and I felt like I was on the verge of dying from a broken heart. None of this made sense.
I wasn’t exactly sure of the definition of what a dom was, but I knew William was one. I couldn’t begin to picture him giving up all of his control.
“Why was she there?” My patience was gone and I just needed answers. Was she in love with him? Had she come to my aunt’s funeral to claim him? The idea made me sick to my stomach. She didn’t put up much of a fight, if that was her intention.
“She wasn’t there for me. She came to pay her respects to your aunt.” He glanced in my direction but quickly looked back at the road. It was pouring harder now and it was almost impossible to see anything. I turned to face him, waiting for him to fill in the blanks.
He licked his lips and continued to explain. “Your aunt…” His voice trailed off as he searched for the right words. My heart was beating out of my chest. He cleared his throat and began again. “You aunt was also like me.”
My mouth fell open as I stared at him, wishing the universe would swallow me whole. He knew my aunt. He lied to me.
“No!” I shook my head. “No!”
His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. “Emma, please! I never touched her. Never! I promise you. I barely knew her.” His grip was painfully tight and I tried to pull free. “I haven’t been with anyone since I began seeing you.”
“You knew her this whole time? You have been lying to me this whole time?” I was seeing red now. My emotions shifted from heartbreak to anger and I wanted to take it out on him.
“Emma, please. I didn’t know when I met you. I will tell you anything you want to know.” He was looking at me, his eyes full of sadness.
“I hate you!” I seethed. He flinched at my words as if I had actually hit him. I couldn’t deal with all of this anymore. With life. “Emma, please.” His voice broke. A bright flash flickered across his face and I glanced out of the windshield just in time to see the light grow larger.
“William!” I screamed. His hand ripped away from mine. The sound of my screams was barely audible over the sound of crunching metal and shattering glass. The world spun in circles and I reached out to grab William. My hands thrashed around as I tried desperately to touch him.
As quickly as it happened, everything was still and silent. I was unable to make a sound. I tried to cling to consciousness. My head was lost in a fog. I blinked my eyes open and could see the blurry image of William. He was slumped against the steering wheel, unmoving, with blood on his face. I tried to reach for him, but everything went dim as pain shot through my body; then I knew no more as the darkness descended.
I had no idea how long I was unconscious. It may have been minutes or days. During that time, I dreamed of William. I saw myself back in that grassy patch surrounded by more people I didn’t know paying their last respects to Judy.
Fear washed over me at the thought of finally losing William; the only person I had left.
One minute, I’d been ready to throw in the towel on our relationship. Then, all I wanted was to hear was William’s voice telling me everything was going to be okay. I didn’t care about anything else.
Chapter Fourteen
The steady beeping of the heart monitor machine laced its way through my dreams. It replaced the sound of my text messages. I smiled reading all of the private notes from William.
It beeped and I was back at my aunt’s house, hitting snooze on the alarm clock, begging for a few more minutes of sleep.
It beeped and I was in a checkout line at the grocery store. That was probably the least exciting dream I had. Light washed over my face, and that last terrifying second before we crashed played over in my mind. William begging me to stay with him and me telling him I hated him. I felt sick.
Really felt sick. My stomach turned and I slowly blinked my eyes open. My head was throbbing with pain and the slightest amount of illumination magnified it.
“Welcome back,” a cheery voice called out. A woman who looked to be in her early forties and wearing cartoon emblazoned scrubs was standing over me, smiling.
“So bright,” I whispered, my voice hoarse.
“Sorry about that. How you feeling?” she asked as I continued to blink rapidly.
“William?” I asked, not wanting to waste my voice talking about myself.
“The man you were brought in with? I will have the doctor speak with you about his condition.” She leaned in closer to me, brushing my hair from my forehead. Her smile brightened and I nodded, squeezing my eyes closed.
The doctor entered the room right as if on cue. He and the nurse spoke quietly at the foot of my bed.
The doctor moved closer to the head of my bed and was writing something down on a clipboard over me. “How are you feeling Ms. Townsend?”
“My head hurts and I could use a drink.”
He continued to write something then paused to speak. “We’ll get you some water.” He nodded to the nurse and I watched her move to the bedside, and then turned my head slowly back to the doctor.
“William?” I asked urgently.
“We’ll know more after some tests. We’ll let you know when we do. Right now, he’s still unconscious.”
“Can you tell me the last thing you remember?” He looked at me expectantly.
“The car accident.” My mind flashed to the image of William lying motionless next to me.
“Can you tell me your full name?”
“Emma May Townsend.”
“Very good Ms. Townsend. Now, is there someone we can call for you?”
“No.” I swallowed hard wanting to fight back my despair. He was all I had now—and I doubted I had him anymore.
I sucked in a deep breath. He was really hurt, and I wasn’t there with him. I pushed to sit myself up, but I was dizzy and weak. I reached for the IV in my hand to pull it out. William would need me! I had to go to him.
“Not so fast.” The doctor held out his hand to keep me in bed. “Your vitals are stable, but I want to keep you here a little longer just to make sure you are alright. After a CAT scan, we should be able to rule out any serious injury to you. I promise, you can see him then.”
I nodded, laying my head back on the pillow. I was too dizzy to stand up anyway.
“How long was I out?” I was afraid to hear the answer.
The doctor checked the watch on his wrist. “Long enough that we’re going to be observing you for a bit,” the doctor said.
It didn’t sound that bad and I wanted to protest. I needed to see William to make sure he was okay.
“Lay back and relax. The test shouldn’t take long.” Two others in scrubs appeared at my side. I hadn’t noticed them before. They locked the railings on my bed and began to push me out of the room.
“I’m fine really. I don’t need this.” One of the women looked down at me and smiled but no one said anything to me. They were too busy talking amongst themselves using medical jargon that I couldn’t begin to understand. I was scared, and I wanted William by my side.
I closed my eyes and forced myself not to cry. I felt like I was dying. Not because of my injuries, but because my heart had been shattered. I had no one else to turn to. I needed to know he was all right.
The test went by in a blur. Everything was normal. I didn’t care either way. If William was not okay, I didn’t want to live. I was torn between my love and hate for him. I was a mess.
Chapter Fifteen
It seemed like an eternity before I was finally released from the ER. I barely registered the doctor’s comments on signs of things to watch for. I just wanted to get to William.
I grabbed my clothing and changed quickly in the tiny restroom. I dared to take a glance at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. My hair was knotted and wild. I ran my hands through my hair and winced as my fingers rubbed over the large lump that had formed after my head bounced off the passenger window. I squeezed my eyes closed and waited a moment for the pain to pass. When it was finally manageable, I turned on the sink and splashed some cold water on my face.
I was suddenly terrified to see William. I didn’t know if I could handle seeing him so helpless and broken. The doctor hadn’t told me much at all about William yet. He was lucky to be alive, considering he hadn’t been wearing his seatbelt at the time. I cringed as the thought of how bad it could have been crossed my mind.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to be strong.
I made my way out into the hallway, glancing in both directions. I spotted a nurses’ station down the hall to the right. I made my way toward it, trying not to let my mind run wild with William.
“Excuse me.” My voice was shaky and I swallowed hard trying to calm my nerves.
“Yes, ma’am?” The nurse behind the counter looked like she was on the bad end of a long shift.
“I’m looking for William Honor? He was brought in with me.” She eyed me for a moment before registering whom I was talking about.
“Yes. He’s in 13. Down the hall to the left.” She flashed me a quick polite smile and her attention went back to the paperwork she had been filling out. I smiled and turned to find his room. My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack.
I stood outside of room 13 and took a deep breath. I pushed the door open slowly and slipped inside. The familiar beeping of a heart monitor was in the background. The moment I saw him, my heart sank. He lay in the hospital bed covered in a thin white blanket. I slowly stepped towards his motionless body.
“William?”
He didn’t respond and I felt tears threatening to fall. I stepped closer and reached out to touch his hand. All of the emotions of the day came rushing back to me all at once. My aunt’s funeral, the mysterious woman, and the accident. My chest ached as I recalled the horrible fight we had just before the crash.
