Honor & Betray
Page 2
I made my way into the kitchen and leaned over the island, letting out a deep sigh as I tried to figure out what my next move would be. I hadn’t exactly been thinking clearly through all of this, but no one could have predicted Emma’s aunt would be someone who could pose a threat to our relationship. If anything, I had planned on her being a nuisance we would easily be rid of when I got Emma to move in with me. I ran my hand over my jaw before slamming my fist against the hard, cold countertop.
I needed to call Stephen and see if he had any ideas of how to handle this. I grabbed my cell and dialed his number, listening to the water running in the distance. I didn’t want Emma overhearing anything Stephen and I would be discussing.
I ran my hand nervously through my hair as I paced, my eyes fixed on the bathroom. Stephen answered after three rings.
“It’s early, William. Surely you haven’t gotten yourself in to trouble already today.” He laughed, and I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to bite back my frustration. I pulled open the fridge and grabbed batter to make some pancakes.
“I have something I have to deal with, and I don’t think I am in the best frame of mind to handle it alone.” I pulled a pan out from under the island cupboard and placed it on the stove.
“That’s what friends are for.” He sighed loudly. “So, your ex didn’t take the bait. Now we have a drugged-out bitch to deal with.”
“Not her.” I heard the water shut off, and the old pipes in the warehouse whined. “I’ll be over as soon as I can.” I hung up the phone without waiting for his response. I poured batter in the pan and watched it bubble and harden around the edges before flipping it over to finish cooking. I tried to focus on the task at hand and not the constant threat to my sanity.
I slid the food on a plate and began making the next, preparing for the bathroom door to open. I would have to seem unbothered and disappointed if I were going to keep Emma from getting upset over not meeting her aunt today. Emma. I was slowly removing everyone from her life, and all she would have left is me. That isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to destroy her; I just wanted her to be mine. It wasn’t that I cared about her family or friends, but I wanted her to choose to be with me, not be backed into a corner. I needed her to want it.
The door to the bathroom squeaked open, and my eyes met Emma’s. I was drawn to her, and I was never disappointed. She was still dripping wet and wrapped in an oversized white towel and a smile. She looked like a present that was just for me. My c**k twitched, and I adjusted myself.
“I thought I was going to have to come in there after you.” I winked at her, and her cheeks heated pink. I loved having that effect on her. I preferred to turn her skin pink by my own hand, but seeing it change just from one look was also satisfying.
“I couldn’t help myself. It felt so good.” She crossed the room and took a seat on a stool against the island. I grabbed her plate of pancakes and slid it in front of her.
“You even make a shower sound sexy.” I took a seat next to her, drawn to her like a f**king magnet. She reached across the counter for the syrup, and I pushed it away with a smirk. She glared at me as she reached out again, and I couldn’t help but push it further.
“Careful. Remember what happened with the sugar.” I narrowed my eyes, causing her to giggle at the thought of being bent over the counter and f**ked.
“I’ll have to remember that for later. We have too much to do today.”
“I’m sorry, Emma. I’m going to have to meet your aunt some other time.” I searched her face for any sort of doubt or anger. She sank back in her seat, placing her fork on her plate as her lower lip jutted out. I wanted to bite it. I shook the thought from my head. I tucked her dampened hair behind her ear while I traced the shell with my fingertip.
“I got a call from my lawyer while you were in the shower. He needs me to overlook the paperwork about the Abby incident. It shouldn’t take long, but I think it would be best if we rescheduled meeting your aunt for another day.” My eyes searched her face as she visibly relaxed. I placed my finger under her chin when she didn’t respond. I pulled her chin toward me, forcing her to look me in the eye.
“You’re not mad at me, are you?” I couldn’t handle any more stacked on top of me. I needed Emma to trust me so I could figure out how to right all of the wrongs I had caused.
She shook her head, her damp hair falling in her face as she smiled widely. “Of course I’m not. You take care of what you have to do, so we don’t have to worry about Abby anymore.”
I nodded and turned back to my food in front of me. She was being honest. She may be disappointed, but she wasn’t upset. I could work with that.
“Eat.” I took a bite of my food, feeling her eyes watching me as I ate. After a moment, she resumed eating, and not another word needed to be spoken.
Chapter Three
I washed our breakfast plates as Emma retreated to the bedroom to get dressed. I forced myself to scrub the plates in scalding hot water to keep myself from following her into that room. Fuck it. I sat the plate on the counter and made my way to the room. Her eyes met mine as the door squeaked open and she smiled. I couldn’t stop myself from raking my eyes over her body, but something troubled me. Why had she closed the door? I was losing my mind. I was beginning to doubt her feelings. Was she shy or scared?
“What?” Her smile faltered as she clung to the brush in her hand. I walked toward her, slowly, keeping my eyes locked on hers.
I reached out and ran my fingertips along the hard curve of her jaw.
“I don’t deserve you.” I searched her eyes for any fear but was met with a smile. She trusted me. It was a mistake on her part, but it made my chest swell with pride. Somehow, I will make this all right for her. Somehow, I will fix what I had done to her life, and hopefully she would still allow me to be in it. I slid my hand through her tangled wet hair and pulled her closer, ghosting my lips over hers. Her breath hitched, and she pushed her lips hard against mine. I normally would have punished her for such a bold act of defiance, but I needed it now—needed to know she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. Maybe she could then understand why I had to do the things I did. I groaned as I deepened our kiss, fisting my hand in her wet hair and holding her to me. Her body fell against mine. Her lips parted, granting me permission to take her.
I slid my free hand down her spine as her back bowed farther into me. I reached the waist of her jeans and forced myself to break from her spell. I rested my forehead against hers and took a deep, calming breath.
“I need to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She nodded in response, her eyes still closed. I ran the pad of my thumb over her plump lower lip, forcing myself not to take it in my mouth once more.
“I love you, Emma.” Her eyes opened and locked on to mine, searching for truth.
“I love you, William.” I can’t explain the effect her words had on me. My mouth found hers again, but I couldn’t force myself to be gentle. I gripped her ass as I kept her firmly against me, my c**k hard and ready between us. Her mouth pulled free from mine, and we both panted.
“Do you have to leave now?” She asked as her eyes rose toward the ceiling. She wanted me to take her upstairs, to let me hurt her, because she knew how much I enjoyed it. That was even more reason for me to go. I couldn’t lose her after all we had been through.
“I have to do this now. I promise you, we have all the time in the world.” I leaned my forehead against hers, struggling for the strength to walk away from her. “I won’t be long.” She nodded in understanding, and I forced myself to pull away. I gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and left the bedroom before I gave up on everything just to touch her. I slid on my shoes and left the apartment as quickly as possible.
I couldn’t think straight anymore, and every ounce of control I once possessed was slipping away with every moment I spent with Emma. My world was crumbling and collapsing, but I couldn’t walk away. Don’t get me wrong, I had no regrets. When I thought back to the people who had stood in our way, there was no sympathy. But if any of my actions came back to hurt Emma, I couldn’t live with myself. I needed to keep her safe from the world. She was mine. But who was going to save her from me?
I got in my car and raced across town. I needed a voice of reason. I needed to be talked off a ledge. I made it to Stephen’s office in record time. I gave a nod to the receptionist who looked like she wanted to stop me from barging into his office, but something stopped her. I can add “scaring little old ladies” to the list of reasons Emma should run now. I pushed open the door, and Stephen froze mid-sentence. The young woman who sat across from his desk glanced up at me from behind her thick, black-framed glasses.
“Why don’t we discuss this later after you have run the numbers, Laura?”
The woman looked to Stephen and back to me, unsure if it was safe to leave us alone together. But slowly she rose from her chair and walked around me, keeping as much distance between her and me as possible. As soon as she exited, I closed the door behind me and locked it.
Stephen leaned back in his chair, his fingers steepled in front of his chest. “This couldn’t wait?” he asked and motioned to the seat that Laura had just vacated. I sat down, blowing out a long breath before clearing my throat.
“Things keep getting more complicated.” I shook my head. “I need your help.”
Stephen leaned forward, placing his arms on his desk.
“This isn’t the mob, Will. We can’t just kill anyone who gets in our way.” He half joked, but the look on my face made him realize this wasn’t a laughing matter, and his expression soon turned serious.
“I don’t want to kill anyone else. I want to make this shit right.” I ran a hand through my hair as I looked down at the floor.
“Emma.” He wasn’t asking. He knew everything was about Emma now. I couldn’t see anything else. I was becoming obsessed.
“I can’t lose her now. I love her.”
Stephen barked out a laugh, and I squeezed my fists, the skin of my knuckles stretching painfully.
“Will, I have known you forever. I know you better than anyone else does. I’m being a friend when I tell you this is heading down a road you have already been down.”
“She’s not Abby.” I said between clenched teeth.
“No, she’s not. But you are still you.”
“What the f**k does that mean?” I pushed the chair back roughly as I stood, leaning down over him. He didn’t flinch or pull away.
“Everyone you touch gets sucked into this force that you have. I am barely struggling to keep my head above water whenever you come around.”
“When I come around? You mean like the time I saved your ass? You mean when I did the f**king dirty work so you wouldn’t have to?”
“Lower your voice.” He leaned forward and talked just barely above a whisper. “I am forever grateful for what you have done, William. But it is time to take a step back and decide if this is all worth it. Is it worth the trail of blood that follows you for some piece of ass?”
I reached out, without thinking, and my fingers wrapped around Stephen’s throat, squeezing slightly.
“Don’t ever talk about her like that. I f**king love her.”
“You love yourself. You don’t know how to feel anything for anyone else outside of hate.” His voice broke as he struggled to take in a breath. I released him, shoving him back as I did so. He rubbed his neck as he looked me over.
“That’s not true.”
“Tell me what it is you love about her?”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I’m serious, William. I want to hear you say it.”
“Everything.” I threw my hands up.
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only f**king answer I got.”
“Because you don’t know what love feels like. It’s selfish.” This time he did flinch when I took a step toward him, the threat clear on my face.
“She loves me.”
“Will.” His eyes met mine, sad and regretful.
“You don’t think she loves me? You don’t think I deserve to be loved?” I was raising my voice again, but I couldn’t stop myself. There was a knock at the door, and Stephen and I stared at each other for a long moment.
“We are fine. Just a lively discussion,” he called out with a laugh. I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to figure out where this all went wrong.
“I think she is infatuated. She looks up to you and has no idea how deep she has gotten, and she won’t until it is too late.”
“You think I’ll hurt her? You think she isn’t safe with me? All I want is for her to be safe.” I slammed my hand down on his desk.
“If all that were true, you would walk away.”
I straightened my back as I looked him over. “I can’t.”
His expression turned somber. “Poor Emma.” He shook his head. “It’s not love. It’s infatuation.” Stephen shook his head.
“She is different.”
“Yeah, she is different, William. You aren’t.”
“Are you going to f**king help me or not?”
“Fine,” He motioned with his hand for me to take my seat and laced his fingers together. “Who is the problem now?”
I took a seat, taking a minute to calm myself down before I tried to explain.
“Emma has an aunt who treats her like shit.”
“We all have family that sucks. Look at your father.”
I glared at him but kept my mood level.
I needed to call Stephen and see if he had any ideas of how to handle this. I grabbed my cell and dialed his number, listening to the water running in the distance. I didn’t want Emma overhearing anything Stephen and I would be discussing.
I ran my hand nervously through my hair as I paced, my eyes fixed on the bathroom. Stephen answered after three rings.
“It’s early, William. Surely you haven’t gotten yourself in to trouble already today.” He laughed, and I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to bite back my frustration. I pulled open the fridge and grabbed batter to make some pancakes.
“I have something I have to deal with, and I don’t think I am in the best frame of mind to handle it alone.” I pulled a pan out from under the island cupboard and placed it on the stove.
“That’s what friends are for.” He sighed loudly. “So, your ex didn’t take the bait. Now we have a drugged-out bitch to deal with.”
“Not her.” I heard the water shut off, and the old pipes in the warehouse whined. “I’ll be over as soon as I can.” I hung up the phone without waiting for his response. I poured batter in the pan and watched it bubble and harden around the edges before flipping it over to finish cooking. I tried to focus on the task at hand and not the constant threat to my sanity.
I slid the food on a plate and began making the next, preparing for the bathroom door to open. I would have to seem unbothered and disappointed if I were going to keep Emma from getting upset over not meeting her aunt today. Emma. I was slowly removing everyone from her life, and all she would have left is me. That isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to destroy her; I just wanted her to be mine. It wasn’t that I cared about her family or friends, but I wanted her to choose to be with me, not be backed into a corner. I needed her to want it.
The door to the bathroom squeaked open, and my eyes met Emma’s. I was drawn to her, and I was never disappointed. She was still dripping wet and wrapped in an oversized white towel and a smile. She looked like a present that was just for me. My c**k twitched, and I adjusted myself.
“I thought I was going to have to come in there after you.” I winked at her, and her cheeks heated pink. I loved having that effect on her. I preferred to turn her skin pink by my own hand, but seeing it change just from one look was also satisfying.
“I couldn’t help myself. It felt so good.” She crossed the room and took a seat on a stool against the island. I grabbed her plate of pancakes and slid it in front of her.
“You even make a shower sound sexy.” I took a seat next to her, drawn to her like a f**king magnet. She reached across the counter for the syrup, and I pushed it away with a smirk. She glared at me as she reached out again, and I couldn’t help but push it further.
“Careful. Remember what happened with the sugar.” I narrowed my eyes, causing her to giggle at the thought of being bent over the counter and f**ked.
“I’ll have to remember that for later. We have too much to do today.”
“I’m sorry, Emma. I’m going to have to meet your aunt some other time.” I searched her face for any sort of doubt or anger. She sank back in her seat, placing her fork on her plate as her lower lip jutted out. I wanted to bite it. I shook the thought from my head. I tucked her dampened hair behind her ear while I traced the shell with my fingertip.
“I got a call from my lawyer while you were in the shower. He needs me to overlook the paperwork about the Abby incident. It shouldn’t take long, but I think it would be best if we rescheduled meeting your aunt for another day.” My eyes searched her face as she visibly relaxed. I placed my finger under her chin when she didn’t respond. I pulled her chin toward me, forcing her to look me in the eye.
“You’re not mad at me, are you?” I couldn’t handle any more stacked on top of me. I needed Emma to trust me so I could figure out how to right all of the wrongs I had caused.
She shook her head, her damp hair falling in her face as she smiled widely. “Of course I’m not. You take care of what you have to do, so we don’t have to worry about Abby anymore.”
I nodded and turned back to my food in front of me. She was being honest. She may be disappointed, but she wasn’t upset. I could work with that.
“Eat.” I took a bite of my food, feeling her eyes watching me as I ate. After a moment, she resumed eating, and not another word needed to be spoken.
Chapter Three
I washed our breakfast plates as Emma retreated to the bedroom to get dressed. I forced myself to scrub the plates in scalding hot water to keep myself from following her into that room. Fuck it. I sat the plate on the counter and made my way to the room. Her eyes met mine as the door squeaked open and she smiled. I couldn’t stop myself from raking my eyes over her body, but something troubled me. Why had she closed the door? I was losing my mind. I was beginning to doubt her feelings. Was she shy or scared?
“What?” Her smile faltered as she clung to the brush in her hand. I walked toward her, slowly, keeping my eyes locked on hers.
I reached out and ran my fingertips along the hard curve of her jaw.
“I don’t deserve you.” I searched her eyes for any fear but was met with a smile. She trusted me. It was a mistake on her part, but it made my chest swell with pride. Somehow, I will make this all right for her. Somehow, I will fix what I had done to her life, and hopefully she would still allow me to be in it. I slid my hand through her tangled wet hair and pulled her closer, ghosting my lips over hers. Her breath hitched, and she pushed her lips hard against mine. I normally would have punished her for such a bold act of defiance, but I needed it now—needed to know she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. Maybe she could then understand why I had to do the things I did. I groaned as I deepened our kiss, fisting my hand in her wet hair and holding her to me. Her body fell against mine. Her lips parted, granting me permission to take her.
I slid my free hand down her spine as her back bowed farther into me. I reached the waist of her jeans and forced myself to break from her spell. I rested my forehead against hers and took a deep, calming breath.
“I need to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She nodded in response, her eyes still closed. I ran the pad of my thumb over her plump lower lip, forcing myself not to take it in my mouth once more.
“I love you, Emma.” Her eyes opened and locked on to mine, searching for truth.
“I love you, William.” I can’t explain the effect her words had on me. My mouth found hers again, but I couldn’t force myself to be gentle. I gripped her ass as I kept her firmly against me, my c**k hard and ready between us. Her mouth pulled free from mine, and we both panted.
“Do you have to leave now?” She asked as her eyes rose toward the ceiling. She wanted me to take her upstairs, to let me hurt her, because she knew how much I enjoyed it. That was even more reason for me to go. I couldn’t lose her after all we had been through.
“I have to do this now. I promise you, we have all the time in the world.” I leaned my forehead against hers, struggling for the strength to walk away from her. “I won’t be long.” She nodded in understanding, and I forced myself to pull away. I gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and left the bedroom before I gave up on everything just to touch her. I slid on my shoes and left the apartment as quickly as possible.
I couldn’t think straight anymore, and every ounce of control I once possessed was slipping away with every moment I spent with Emma. My world was crumbling and collapsing, but I couldn’t walk away. Don’t get me wrong, I had no regrets. When I thought back to the people who had stood in our way, there was no sympathy. But if any of my actions came back to hurt Emma, I couldn’t live with myself. I needed to keep her safe from the world. She was mine. But who was going to save her from me?
I got in my car and raced across town. I needed a voice of reason. I needed to be talked off a ledge. I made it to Stephen’s office in record time. I gave a nod to the receptionist who looked like she wanted to stop me from barging into his office, but something stopped her. I can add “scaring little old ladies” to the list of reasons Emma should run now. I pushed open the door, and Stephen froze mid-sentence. The young woman who sat across from his desk glanced up at me from behind her thick, black-framed glasses.
“Why don’t we discuss this later after you have run the numbers, Laura?”
The woman looked to Stephen and back to me, unsure if it was safe to leave us alone together. But slowly she rose from her chair and walked around me, keeping as much distance between her and me as possible. As soon as she exited, I closed the door behind me and locked it.
Stephen leaned back in his chair, his fingers steepled in front of his chest. “This couldn’t wait?” he asked and motioned to the seat that Laura had just vacated. I sat down, blowing out a long breath before clearing my throat.
“Things keep getting more complicated.” I shook my head. “I need your help.”
Stephen leaned forward, placing his arms on his desk.
“This isn’t the mob, Will. We can’t just kill anyone who gets in our way.” He half joked, but the look on my face made him realize this wasn’t a laughing matter, and his expression soon turned serious.
“I don’t want to kill anyone else. I want to make this shit right.” I ran a hand through my hair as I looked down at the floor.
“Emma.” He wasn’t asking. He knew everything was about Emma now. I couldn’t see anything else. I was becoming obsessed.
“I can’t lose her now. I love her.”
Stephen barked out a laugh, and I squeezed my fists, the skin of my knuckles stretching painfully.
“Will, I have known you forever. I know you better than anyone else does. I’m being a friend when I tell you this is heading down a road you have already been down.”
“She’s not Abby.” I said between clenched teeth.
“No, she’s not. But you are still you.”
“What the f**k does that mean?” I pushed the chair back roughly as I stood, leaning down over him. He didn’t flinch or pull away.
“Everyone you touch gets sucked into this force that you have. I am barely struggling to keep my head above water whenever you come around.”
“When I come around? You mean like the time I saved your ass? You mean when I did the f**king dirty work so you wouldn’t have to?”
“Lower your voice.” He leaned forward and talked just barely above a whisper. “I am forever grateful for what you have done, William. But it is time to take a step back and decide if this is all worth it. Is it worth the trail of blood that follows you for some piece of ass?”
I reached out, without thinking, and my fingers wrapped around Stephen’s throat, squeezing slightly.
“Don’t ever talk about her like that. I f**king love her.”
“You love yourself. You don’t know how to feel anything for anyone else outside of hate.” His voice broke as he struggled to take in a breath. I released him, shoving him back as I did so. He rubbed his neck as he looked me over.
“That’s not true.”
“Tell me what it is you love about her?”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I’m serious, William. I want to hear you say it.”
“Everything.” I threw my hands up.
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only f**king answer I got.”
“Because you don’t know what love feels like. It’s selfish.” This time he did flinch when I took a step toward him, the threat clear on my face.
“She loves me.”
“Will.” His eyes met mine, sad and regretful.
“You don’t think she loves me? You don’t think I deserve to be loved?” I was raising my voice again, but I couldn’t stop myself. There was a knock at the door, and Stephen and I stared at each other for a long moment.
“We are fine. Just a lively discussion,” he called out with a laugh. I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to figure out where this all went wrong.
“I think she is infatuated. She looks up to you and has no idea how deep she has gotten, and she won’t until it is too late.”
“You think I’ll hurt her? You think she isn’t safe with me? All I want is for her to be safe.” I slammed my hand down on his desk.
“If all that were true, you would walk away.”
I straightened my back as I looked him over. “I can’t.”
His expression turned somber. “Poor Emma.” He shook his head. “It’s not love. It’s infatuation.” Stephen shook his head.
“She is different.”
“Yeah, she is different, William. You aren’t.”
“Are you going to f**king help me or not?”
“Fine,” He motioned with his hand for me to take my seat and laced his fingers together. “Who is the problem now?”
I took a seat, taking a minute to calm myself down before I tried to explain.
“Emma has an aunt who treats her like shit.”
“We all have family that sucks. Look at your father.”
I glared at him but kept my mood level.
