Honor & Betray
Page 4
“I’m yours, only yours.” Her words were desperate as well but for other reasons. I didn’t want it any other way. I slipped my hand between us and loped them around her cotton panties, tugging harshly and ripping them from her body. Her hips lifted, and she ground against me, flesh against flesh. My eyes fell closed for a second as I let the pleasure wash over me.
I gripped the base of my c**k and rubbed the head of myself against her wetness. She moaned, squeezing her eyes closed.
“Look at me. I want to watch you come.”
She squirmed beneath me, and I tried to memorize every curve of her beautiful face. I slid inside of her tight pu**y slowly, wanting to savor every second. She panted with parted lips. I reached between us and ran my fingers over her clit. I ran the wetness over her lower lip and her tongue darted out; I lost all control. I slammed deep inside of her, hard. She bit down on her lip as I continued my furious pace.
“I…love…you…” I groaned as she met my thrust. Her legs tightened around my hips, and I knew she was close to coming.
“I love you,” she cried out, gripping onto the blanket as she tightened around the length of me. I came hard, binding us as one for what I knew would probably be the last time.
I collapsed on top of her, emotionally and physically spent. Her delicate fingers laced behind my neck. “I love you,” she whispered into my ear—her words the only sound I ever wanted to hear. I kissed along her neck until my lips reached her ear.
“I love you so much, Emma.” I held her tightly against me, not wanting to ever let her go, until she drifted off into a peaceful sleep below me.
My mind raced with thoughts of an empty future of solitude. How would I continue to protect her and keep her safe when her aunt filled her in on what kind of man I really was? I knew I had already asked too much of her, and she gladly accepted my faults, but everyone has a limit. Then the truth crept into the back of my mind. Emma wouldn’t need protection once she was rid of me. I was the reason her world was crumbling. If not for me, she would be starting her life as an adult. She would be falling in love and beginning a career. It made me sick to my stomach to know that I was the worst thing for her.
I tossed and turned the entire night until I decided to leave the bedroom so I wouldn’t wake her.
Chapter Four
I was on my second pot of coffee when the bedroom door opened, and Emma stepped through, already dressed for the day. I couldn’t help but smile sadly at the sight of her. I never wanted to forget how absolutely stunning she was when she first woke in the morning.
“Sleep well?” I hoped she hadn’t noticed that I hadn’t slept at all. I couldn’t force myself to close my eyes and miss out on the last few hours we may have had together. She grinned widely as she made her way toward me. I opened my arms and hugged her tightly, lifting her feet from the ground. “Shame. I was going to say if you weren’t happy, we could try again.” I winked at her as I sat her back on the ground. I was good at hiding my emotions, as I rarely felt anything outside of anger, but this was a struggle. Stephen’s words replayed in my head. He was wrong. This was love. It had to be love, and it was the most intense pain I had ever felt.
She smacked my chest playfully. Without thinking, my hand shot up and grabbed her wrist tightly.
“Careful. You know I like to play rough.” A beautiful crimson crept over her cheeks, and I had to look away to keep myself from changing my mind about being the good guy. I turned around and grabbed her a mug of coffee, already made to her taste.
“Thanks,” she smiled as she closed her eyes and inhaled. “Just what I needed.”
“I thought I was what you needed?” I frowned, but I knew I wasn’t, even if she thought differently. She took a sip from her steaming cup.
“I need this to keep up with you.” She laughed. For a minute, we were just a normal couple standing in our kitchen and enjoying each other’s company. It was the perfect lie.
“I better put on another pot, then.” I looked her over, wishing I could get just one extra day with her, but I didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve her.
“We can’t. We have to go see my aunt today.” She took another long sip from her mug.
I sighed and drank down the rest of my drink. “I guess we’d better get it over with, then.” I couldn’t look her in the eye. I stared down at my empty mug, fighting the urge to throw it against the wall.
“It’s not life or death, William. Worst thing that is going to happen is she will call me a whore and things will be exactly the same as they have always been.” She rolled her eyes as she spoke of her aunt and took another drink.
I only wished that were the worst thing that would happen. Instead, she would learn about my frequent visits to the sex club her aunt worked at. She, no doubt, would learn of her aunt’s infatuation with me. And the cherry on the cake will be whatever my ex had confessed to her. I knew that my ex must have told J something to convince her that I was a danger to Emma. My eyes searched her beautiful face as I pictured tears streaming down her cheeks, and I wouldn’t be able to hold her and make it all better. “Fine.” I slammed my mug on the counter and made my way to my bedroom to get ready. I grabbed a dark-gray shirt from my dresser and pulled it over my head as I made my way back into the main living area. Emma’s eyes were on my stomach as I pulled the shirt down, covering myself.
“Are you sure you don’t want to have a little fun first?” It was a last ditch effort to delay the inevitable, to feel normal if only for a few more minutes.
“Come on. Let’s just get this over with.” She sat her cup down and grabbed her purse. She held her hand out to me to take, and I did, pulling her body against mine. My lips pressed against hers, needing to feel her love for me. Her body relaxed against mine, and her lips fell open, inviting me in. I ran my tongue along her upper lip before slipping it inside and pushing against hers. She moaned into my mouth, and I knew if I really wanted to, I could delay our demise just a little while longer. My c**k grew painfully hard at the thought of taking her back to my bed. I was tired of manipulating her. I pulled back, hating how alone I felt just inches from her.
“I need you.” I meant it in every sense of the words. I needed her to breathe, to feel. Without her, I knew I would lose myself again in the sadness and anger. I wouldn’t be able to come back again from the darkness. There would be no other Emma for me.
“I promise, when we get back, you can take me anywhere and anyway you like.” She grinned wickedly as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. I would miss this. I would miss her so much it would be unbearable.
I reached up, using my thumb to free her lip from her teeth. “Let’s go.” I took her hand and pulled her behind me as we left the apartment and made our way down the stairs. I was fighting against my natural instinct of self-preservation.
Chapter Five
As we pulled up outside of Judy’s house, Emma looked like she was on the verge of a panic attack. It killed me to know it was going to go much worse than she could ever imagine. It wasn’t as simple as her aunt disapproving of us, which was one thing I could not protect her against. She needed to know who the man she loved really was. I didn’t deserve her, and a small part of me had always known that. Still, I entertained the idea of running off with her and keeping her blissfully ignorant to the monster I was inside.
“Having second thoughts?” I asked, brushing a few strands of hair off her forehead. She shook her head as she opened her door. She paused looking back at me over her shoulder. “Just give me a minute, okay?” I nodded, and she leaned across the seat, giving me a chaste kiss on the lips before releasing my hand and leaving me to my own demons.
She walked toward the house, glancing back at me as she made her way across the street. It tore me up inside to sit back and let everything we had fall apart, but I wasn’t going to go against what Emma wanted. I watched her open the front door and step inside. My entire body was humming as I forced myself to sit in the car. My mind flashed with Judy telling Emma all the terrible things about me, and I wouldn’t be there to console her Not that she would want me to touch her after she finds out just how sick and twisted I really am. But Judy wouldn’t offer her that comfort, either. She would laugh in her face. I glanced over at the house and noticed that the driveway was empty. That was all the convincing I needed. I got out of the car and made my way across the street, slipping inside the front door of the small home.
Emma stepped out of the hallway, relief on her face, and I was finally able to breathe again.
“I was just going to call you. She’s not home.”
Her words took a second to sink in. Judy wasn’t home. I couldn’t help but smile. I had more time with Emma, if even just another day. I felt the weight of my guilt lift from my shoulders.
“Let’s go back to my place. A promise is a promise.” I smiled as I lowered my mouth to hers, needing to touch her. Before our mouths could meet, a faint melody interrupted us.
“What’s that?” She pulled back from me as her eyes searched mine. She made her way down the narrow hall, and I followed behind her, the sound growing louder as we approached. She stopped suddenly in my path, and her hand flew over her mouth.
“Oh, my god. That’s my aunt’s ringtone. She’s home.” She whispered, panic in her voice.
“But her car wasn’t in the driveway.” I said as Emma’s eyes searched mine. She hadn’t noticed, but that didn’t ease her worry. She reached out and gripped the doorknob to her aunt’s bedroom. It creaked loudly as she shoved it open. It took a moment for our eyes to adjust to the darkness.
I froze as I saw the lifeless, naked body of J strewn across her bed. Her legs were wide open, and she stared off into nothingness. This was what I wanted to avoid. I had done everything, even prepared to sacrifice my own love to make things right. Was this some sort of a cruel joke?
“Judy!” Emma’s painful scream broke me from my fog. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back from the room, trying to block her aunt’s dead body from her view. She struggled against my grip, and I held her tighter, refusing to let go. I would never let her go again. She thrashed and struggled as she cried out in heartbreak. I stroked her hair as I clutched her to my chest, hating that this was the only way she could still be mine. Even though I had not perpetrated the crime, I knew without a doubt that she had died because of me. Stephen had stepped up when he knew I wouldn’t.
“Shhh…” I whispered into her hair as I tried to desperately to keep her from losing it completely.
“I need to call someone!” She was breaking down. I pulled her toward me and placed a kiss on her forehead.
“It’s going to be okay, Emma. I’m going to take care of you.” I had no other choice. Confessing all of my sins now would only leave her completely alone. Not even I was that cruel. I wiped the tears from her cheeks as she looked up at me through unsure eyes. “I’ll be here the whole time.”
I placed another kiss on her damp skin before taking her by the hand and guiding her down the hallway to the kitchen. I grabbed Emma’s cell phone and guided her out the front door into the blistering heat of the afternoon sun.
With shaky fingers, she unlocked it and dialed the police.
“My aunt…my aunt is…,” she sobbed. Her voice was so weak and fragile. I couldn’t imagine that this was less painful for her than finding out who I really was. I took the phone from her shaky hands and carefully explained to the operator what had happened as Emma sank to her knees and cried. I didn’t deserve to be Emma’s hero in this situation. I was anything but. I hung up the phone and grabbed Emma, helping her to her feet. I took her in my arms and held her as more sobs wracked her body.
“This can’t be happening.” Her fingers fisted into my T-shirt, and she clung to me. Sirens began to wail in the distance, and soon the driveway filled with police and emergency vehicles of every kind. They moved in and out of the house, talking to us in brief spurts as they assessed the situation. Finally, an officer stood in front of us with notebook in hand.
“I need to take your statements,” he said, his eyes dancing between us.
“I just came home. I didn’t think she was here. I found her.” Emma sounded like she was in a daze.
“Can you verify your whereabouts in the past twenty-four hours?” His gaze drifted between Emma and me.
“She was with me.” Admitting that Emma and I were together would finally do us some good. It was sickening that anything in this situation would bring me any kind of pleasure, especially if I was the indirect cause. I shook the thought from my head. This was Abby’s doing. If she had kept her distance and not been so goddamned greedy, Emma wouldn’t be hurting.
“Is there anyone else who can verify that?” he asked. His eyebrow rose as he looked at us. I glanced down at Emma, my lip curling into a slight smile.
“We were alone.” I saw it register in his eyes that Emma and I were alone together for good reason. He didn’t push it further.
He continued to question us, directing most to Emma, but when she was unable to find the words or contain her emotions, I did my best to fill in the blanks. No one knew that J and I had a past outside of the club. To the outside world, it would be a coincidence if it ever came to light. Even Emma would verify that we had never met while we’ve been a couple. I had dodged a bullet, while J lost her life.
They brought J’s body out on a stretcher covered by a thin white sheet, and Emma collapsed in my arms. I knew she had seen too many of her loved ones’ lives cut short. It killed me inside to know that if I hadn’t been in her life, she might still have her around. I was also well aware that Judy did not care for Emma, and who knew what state of mind she would be in without someone who loved her and protected her?
I gripped the base of my c**k and rubbed the head of myself against her wetness. She moaned, squeezing her eyes closed.
“Look at me. I want to watch you come.”
She squirmed beneath me, and I tried to memorize every curve of her beautiful face. I slid inside of her tight pu**y slowly, wanting to savor every second. She panted with parted lips. I reached between us and ran my fingers over her clit. I ran the wetness over her lower lip and her tongue darted out; I lost all control. I slammed deep inside of her, hard. She bit down on her lip as I continued my furious pace.
“I…love…you…” I groaned as she met my thrust. Her legs tightened around my hips, and I knew she was close to coming.
“I love you,” she cried out, gripping onto the blanket as she tightened around the length of me. I came hard, binding us as one for what I knew would probably be the last time.
I collapsed on top of her, emotionally and physically spent. Her delicate fingers laced behind my neck. “I love you,” she whispered into my ear—her words the only sound I ever wanted to hear. I kissed along her neck until my lips reached her ear.
“I love you so much, Emma.” I held her tightly against me, not wanting to ever let her go, until she drifted off into a peaceful sleep below me.
My mind raced with thoughts of an empty future of solitude. How would I continue to protect her and keep her safe when her aunt filled her in on what kind of man I really was? I knew I had already asked too much of her, and she gladly accepted my faults, but everyone has a limit. Then the truth crept into the back of my mind. Emma wouldn’t need protection once she was rid of me. I was the reason her world was crumbling. If not for me, she would be starting her life as an adult. She would be falling in love and beginning a career. It made me sick to my stomach to know that I was the worst thing for her.
I tossed and turned the entire night until I decided to leave the bedroom so I wouldn’t wake her.
Chapter Four
I was on my second pot of coffee when the bedroom door opened, and Emma stepped through, already dressed for the day. I couldn’t help but smile sadly at the sight of her. I never wanted to forget how absolutely stunning she was when she first woke in the morning.
“Sleep well?” I hoped she hadn’t noticed that I hadn’t slept at all. I couldn’t force myself to close my eyes and miss out on the last few hours we may have had together. She grinned widely as she made her way toward me. I opened my arms and hugged her tightly, lifting her feet from the ground. “Shame. I was going to say if you weren’t happy, we could try again.” I winked at her as I sat her back on the ground. I was good at hiding my emotions, as I rarely felt anything outside of anger, but this was a struggle. Stephen’s words replayed in my head. He was wrong. This was love. It had to be love, and it was the most intense pain I had ever felt.
She smacked my chest playfully. Without thinking, my hand shot up and grabbed her wrist tightly.
“Careful. You know I like to play rough.” A beautiful crimson crept over her cheeks, and I had to look away to keep myself from changing my mind about being the good guy. I turned around and grabbed her a mug of coffee, already made to her taste.
“Thanks,” she smiled as she closed her eyes and inhaled. “Just what I needed.”
“I thought I was what you needed?” I frowned, but I knew I wasn’t, even if she thought differently. She took a sip from her steaming cup.
“I need this to keep up with you.” She laughed. For a minute, we were just a normal couple standing in our kitchen and enjoying each other’s company. It was the perfect lie.
“I better put on another pot, then.” I looked her over, wishing I could get just one extra day with her, but I didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve her.
“We can’t. We have to go see my aunt today.” She took another long sip from her mug.
I sighed and drank down the rest of my drink. “I guess we’d better get it over with, then.” I couldn’t look her in the eye. I stared down at my empty mug, fighting the urge to throw it against the wall.
“It’s not life or death, William. Worst thing that is going to happen is she will call me a whore and things will be exactly the same as they have always been.” She rolled her eyes as she spoke of her aunt and took another drink.
I only wished that were the worst thing that would happen. Instead, she would learn about my frequent visits to the sex club her aunt worked at. She, no doubt, would learn of her aunt’s infatuation with me. And the cherry on the cake will be whatever my ex had confessed to her. I knew that my ex must have told J something to convince her that I was a danger to Emma. My eyes searched her beautiful face as I pictured tears streaming down her cheeks, and I wouldn’t be able to hold her and make it all better. “Fine.” I slammed my mug on the counter and made my way to my bedroom to get ready. I grabbed a dark-gray shirt from my dresser and pulled it over my head as I made my way back into the main living area. Emma’s eyes were on my stomach as I pulled the shirt down, covering myself.
“Are you sure you don’t want to have a little fun first?” It was a last ditch effort to delay the inevitable, to feel normal if only for a few more minutes.
“Come on. Let’s just get this over with.” She sat her cup down and grabbed her purse. She held her hand out to me to take, and I did, pulling her body against mine. My lips pressed against hers, needing to feel her love for me. Her body relaxed against mine, and her lips fell open, inviting me in. I ran my tongue along her upper lip before slipping it inside and pushing against hers. She moaned into my mouth, and I knew if I really wanted to, I could delay our demise just a little while longer. My c**k grew painfully hard at the thought of taking her back to my bed. I was tired of manipulating her. I pulled back, hating how alone I felt just inches from her.
“I need you.” I meant it in every sense of the words. I needed her to breathe, to feel. Without her, I knew I would lose myself again in the sadness and anger. I wouldn’t be able to come back again from the darkness. There would be no other Emma for me.
“I promise, when we get back, you can take me anywhere and anyway you like.” She grinned wickedly as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. I would miss this. I would miss her so much it would be unbearable.
I reached up, using my thumb to free her lip from her teeth. “Let’s go.” I took her hand and pulled her behind me as we left the apartment and made our way down the stairs. I was fighting against my natural instinct of self-preservation.
Chapter Five
As we pulled up outside of Judy’s house, Emma looked like she was on the verge of a panic attack. It killed me to know it was going to go much worse than she could ever imagine. It wasn’t as simple as her aunt disapproving of us, which was one thing I could not protect her against. She needed to know who the man she loved really was. I didn’t deserve her, and a small part of me had always known that. Still, I entertained the idea of running off with her and keeping her blissfully ignorant to the monster I was inside.
“Having second thoughts?” I asked, brushing a few strands of hair off her forehead. She shook her head as she opened her door. She paused looking back at me over her shoulder. “Just give me a minute, okay?” I nodded, and she leaned across the seat, giving me a chaste kiss on the lips before releasing my hand and leaving me to my own demons.
She walked toward the house, glancing back at me as she made her way across the street. It tore me up inside to sit back and let everything we had fall apart, but I wasn’t going to go against what Emma wanted. I watched her open the front door and step inside. My entire body was humming as I forced myself to sit in the car. My mind flashed with Judy telling Emma all the terrible things about me, and I wouldn’t be there to console her Not that she would want me to touch her after she finds out just how sick and twisted I really am. But Judy wouldn’t offer her that comfort, either. She would laugh in her face. I glanced over at the house and noticed that the driveway was empty. That was all the convincing I needed. I got out of the car and made my way across the street, slipping inside the front door of the small home.
Emma stepped out of the hallway, relief on her face, and I was finally able to breathe again.
“I was just going to call you. She’s not home.”
Her words took a second to sink in. Judy wasn’t home. I couldn’t help but smile. I had more time with Emma, if even just another day. I felt the weight of my guilt lift from my shoulders.
“Let’s go back to my place. A promise is a promise.” I smiled as I lowered my mouth to hers, needing to touch her. Before our mouths could meet, a faint melody interrupted us.
“What’s that?” She pulled back from me as her eyes searched mine. She made her way down the narrow hall, and I followed behind her, the sound growing louder as we approached. She stopped suddenly in my path, and her hand flew over her mouth.
“Oh, my god. That’s my aunt’s ringtone. She’s home.” She whispered, panic in her voice.
“But her car wasn’t in the driveway.” I said as Emma’s eyes searched mine. She hadn’t noticed, but that didn’t ease her worry. She reached out and gripped the doorknob to her aunt’s bedroom. It creaked loudly as she shoved it open. It took a moment for our eyes to adjust to the darkness.
I froze as I saw the lifeless, naked body of J strewn across her bed. Her legs were wide open, and she stared off into nothingness. This was what I wanted to avoid. I had done everything, even prepared to sacrifice my own love to make things right. Was this some sort of a cruel joke?
“Judy!” Emma’s painful scream broke me from my fog. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back from the room, trying to block her aunt’s dead body from her view. She struggled against my grip, and I held her tighter, refusing to let go. I would never let her go again. She thrashed and struggled as she cried out in heartbreak. I stroked her hair as I clutched her to my chest, hating that this was the only way she could still be mine. Even though I had not perpetrated the crime, I knew without a doubt that she had died because of me. Stephen had stepped up when he knew I wouldn’t.
“Shhh…” I whispered into her hair as I tried to desperately to keep her from losing it completely.
“I need to call someone!” She was breaking down. I pulled her toward me and placed a kiss on her forehead.
“It’s going to be okay, Emma. I’m going to take care of you.” I had no other choice. Confessing all of my sins now would only leave her completely alone. Not even I was that cruel. I wiped the tears from her cheeks as she looked up at me through unsure eyes. “I’ll be here the whole time.”
I placed another kiss on her damp skin before taking her by the hand and guiding her down the hallway to the kitchen. I grabbed Emma’s cell phone and guided her out the front door into the blistering heat of the afternoon sun.
With shaky fingers, she unlocked it and dialed the police.
“My aunt…my aunt is…,” she sobbed. Her voice was so weak and fragile. I couldn’t imagine that this was less painful for her than finding out who I really was. I took the phone from her shaky hands and carefully explained to the operator what had happened as Emma sank to her knees and cried. I didn’t deserve to be Emma’s hero in this situation. I was anything but. I hung up the phone and grabbed Emma, helping her to her feet. I took her in my arms and held her as more sobs wracked her body.
“This can’t be happening.” Her fingers fisted into my T-shirt, and she clung to me. Sirens began to wail in the distance, and soon the driveway filled with police and emergency vehicles of every kind. They moved in and out of the house, talking to us in brief spurts as they assessed the situation. Finally, an officer stood in front of us with notebook in hand.
“I need to take your statements,” he said, his eyes dancing between us.
“I just came home. I didn’t think she was here. I found her.” Emma sounded like she was in a daze.
“Can you verify your whereabouts in the past twenty-four hours?” His gaze drifted between Emma and me.
“She was with me.” Admitting that Emma and I were together would finally do us some good. It was sickening that anything in this situation would bring me any kind of pleasure, especially if I was the indirect cause. I shook the thought from my head. This was Abby’s doing. If she had kept her distance and not been so goddamned greedy, Emma wouldn’t be hurting.
“Is there anyone else who can verify that?” he asked. His eyebrow rose as he looked at us. I glanced down at Emma, my lip curling into a slight smile.
“We were alone.” I saw it register in his eyes that Emma and I were alone together for good reason. He didn’t push it further.
He continued to question us, directing most to Emma, but when she was unable to find the words or contain her emotions, I did my best to fill in the blanks. No one knew that J and I had a past outside of the club. To the outside world, it would be a coincidence if it ever came to light. Even Emma would verify that we had never met while we’ve been a couple. I had dodged a bullet, while J lost her life.
They brought J’s body out on a stretcher covered by a thin white sheet, and Emma collapsed in my arms. I knew she had seen too many of her loved ones’ lives cut short. It killed me inside to know that if I hadn’t been in her life, she might still have her around. I was also well aware that Judy did not care for Emma, and who knew what state of mind she would be in without someone who loved her and protected her?
