Honor Thy Teacher
Page 10
I slipped back inside the house quietly, hoping she hadn’t woke while I was gone.
Chapter Twenty-One
I stood in the kitchen in my boxer briefs waiting for the coffee to brew. I was nervous to know if she awoke last night to find me gone. I forced myself not to turn on the news to see if Jeff had been involved in a horrible drunk driving accident. Tragic as that would be. I felt no pity for him. If she had seen the look in his eyes when he touched her. The same look mirrored in my eyes thousands of times before, I am sure.
I heard her stir a few minutes later and I busied myself, pouring the coffee. I turned to face her as I heard her draw near. I ran my hand through my hair trying to push the thought of how lovely she looked in my oversized shirt and nothing else. She looked to the ground and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“Coffee smells good.” She said, breaking the spell. I handed her a cup of coffee and quickly drank mine, pouring another cup.
“Didn’t sleep?” She asked, not accusingly.
“I had a lot on my mind.” My eyes danced over her.
“I’m sorry about everything last night.” She looked sad and guilty. I wondered if I looked guilty.
“I hurt you and you apologize.” I laughed at the irony. “Emma, I am no good for you. I knew what I was doing the first moment I saw you. I should have stopped it. I shouldn’t have let it go this far.”
“I wanted you just as badly as you wanted me.” She said quietly. She didn’t get it. She didn’t understand how dangerous I was for her. For all I know, I killed someone last night because he had touched her. I slammed my hands down on the counter between us. She jumped at the loud noise.
“I scare you. Good. Maybe now you will stay away from me.” The words burned my throat as I said them. I couldn’t imagine never touching her again. Not being there to protect her. But who would protect her from me?
“You don’t mean that.” She stepped around the island, closing the distance between us.
“It’s for your own good Emma.” I wanted her, for once in her life, to think about her own safety. She stopped, not stepping any closer. Her eyes looked through me as she searched for any truth in my words. Without saying another word she turned and made her way to the bathroom. Her steps faster than I would have liked. She was sad. I wanted to run to her, to hold her. I didn’t.
Instead, I went to my room and got dressed. When I returned the air was thick with regret. When Emma exited the bathroom, she was wearing her clubbing clothes. I knew she had finally understood. I had finally been able to push her away.
We didn’t speak. I grabbed my keys and she followed behind me to my car. I opened the door and watched her slide inside. She winced as her bottom touched the seat and angled herself away from me.
“Emma” I sighed.
“Don’t” she cut me off. I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t try to talk to her again. It was sick of me to constantly push her away only to pull her back for my own selfish needs.
The trip to the grocery store where her car was parked seemed especially short. The instant I put the car in park she opened her door and slammed it behind her. I didn’t deserve anything more. I knew that.
“Emma” I called after her, trying to convince myself that I had to make sure she was okay. She ignored me, digging through her purse for her keys. The bag fell from her grasp, spilling its contents all over the ground. “Shit, Emma” I got out and rushed to her side, helping her collect her things. “I’m just trying to protect you.” I was growing frustrated with her. Why couldn’t she just f**king understand I am trying to protect her? Tears began to roll down her face. Fuck. I wiped her tears away with the back of my hand. I let my thumb slip across her lower lip. God, she was so f**kable even when she was sad.
“By hurting me?” She asked, her chin trembling.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. You didn’t use the safe word.” I regretted the words as they left my mouth. Had I really just blamed her? She didn’t know any better. I should have been more cautious. “You deserve better.” It was the most honest thing I have said to her.
“What about the note? What if someone comes looking for me?” I wasn’t a stranger to woman trying to manipulate me and I knew that was exactly what she was trying to do. I also knew she was right. Someone could come looking for her. I wouldn’t let that happen.
“I will take care of that today.” I hoped she knew I meant it. She would always be safe as long as she stayed away from me. She didn’t respond. Maybe she did understand. She got in her car and drove off. I waited, thinking about how I would make all of this right.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I drove back to my house feeling empty. Every second I spent without her felt like an eternity. I hated how weak and out of control I have become. I was risking myself, doing things without hesitation or planning. Like what I did to Jeff. As much as I wanted to make myself feel guilty, I couldn’t. The emotion just wouldn’t come. I told myself I was protecting her. No one was protecting her from me.
As soon as I got home, I stripped off my clothes and ran through a cold shower. I let the water wash over me as if it could wash away my sins. The ocean didn’t even hold enough water for that. I washed myself as if it could, scrubbing harder than necessary until my skin burned like fire against the soap. It still wasn’t enough. The pain paled in comparison to the pain I had caused her. To the pain I would cause her. I let my hand lower, stroking myself at the thought of her. She was so innocent, so trusting. I never gave her a reason to trust me, but she did. I squeezed tighter, allowing a twinge of pleasure to ripple through my body before stopping myself. I didn’t deserve any kind of release. I cocked back my fist and stuck the wall allowing myself, instead the pain that I deserved.
It pumped through me, throbbing up my arm into my chest. It felt good. It felt real. It felt deserved.
I let the water run ice cold before getting out and drying myself off. I switched on the television as I dipped inside my bedroom for clean clothes. I came back out to the sound of the news. They had just finished a story about a drunk driving accident in the early morning hours. I smiled, but it was short lived when they said he was going to be fine. For now. They also mentioned a suspicion of foul play but with his blood alcohol level being what it was they didn’t take it very seriously. Still, I would have to come up with a plan just in case.
I grabbed my phone and sent Angela a message. I needed to meet her face to face and put end to all of this. I wasn’t going to let her hurt Emma. I deserved whatever pain was brought upon me, but Emma was innocent. I had manipulated and used her for my own gain.
As I waited for her to get back to me, I searched the internet to make arrangements for after graduation. I knew I wouldn’t be able to take Emma away before the end of the year without telling her the truth about Jeff. I would just have to risk it and hope for the best. If anything where to happen before then, I would just have to do whatever it takes to make her safe. Whatever that may be.
I was exhausted. I spent the entire night thinking of her. Even when I did manage to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, her face haunted my dreams. I could smell her. Taste her on my lips. She was an addiction that I didn’t want cured. The utterance of her name caused my body to go rigged and my c**k to grow hard. Her twisted sense of self and lack of any kind of discipline only made me crave her that much more.
I waited anxiously for her to come. I needed another fix. I grabbed her books and placed them on her desk. It felt like an eternity since I had looked in her eyes. Since I had broken her heart and pushed her away. I leaned against my desk, my blood pounding in my ears as my heart raced. As she walked through the door, her eyes caught mine and for a second the world stood still and spun faster at the same time. Spiraling out of control and orbiting around us. The high was short lived as one of my students came to ask me a question about our last assignment. I answered him quickly and turned back to her but she had disappeared. Like a beautiful mirage. My eyes scanned the room frantically before coming to rest on her.
She held a smile on her face but didn’t look at me. I struggled to regain my composure and begin the lesson. I prepared questions to engage the class and also to keep myself from fantasizing about her. I asked a few questions, all the while glancing in her direction. She continued to avoid my gaze and appeared to not even be listening.
“Emma…Emma!” I called out, breaking her from her daydream. She looked embarrassed as her eyes shot up and the class looked at her expectantly.
“What?” She asked, not bothering to hide her irritation with me. I deserved it but I didn’t like it. I bit back the urge to scold her, to tell her she needed to be punished. I had no right to say anything to her at all.
“Who exacted punishment on the rebels of the North of England referred to as ‘The Harrying of the North’?” I starred at her, not letting her look away from me. I wanted her to hear the word punishment and think of me. As her cheeks burned pink, I knew that she had. Her brain searched for an answer. An answer that I knew she didn’t have since I had her book all weekend. If she thought of me, of punishment she could put two and two together. Her eyes lit up as she did just that.
“William the conqueror?” She responded with a smirk. I had used ‘William the Conqueror as my contact name when I programmed my number into her phone.
“That is correct Ms. Townsend.” I bit back a grin. “Good girl” I made sure her eyes were locked onto mine as I said it. I knew what those words would do to her. She bit her lip as she flushed. I narrowed my eyes at her, staring at her mouth. Her pretty f**kable mouth. She released her lip immediately.
I broke away from her and continued to ask questions. My thoughts never left her though. I ran my hand over the edge of the desk where her fingers had gripped, holding it tightly while I punished her. I ran my hand over the buckle of my belt, which awarded me another lusty stare. My c**k twitched and I had to discreetly adjust myself.
Time switched into hyper speed and before I knew it the class was emptying. I fought the urge to ask her to stay, knowing if I asked she would. She would want to please me. I licked my lips and glanced up in time to see her glance over her shoulder. She looked sad. I knew I was the cause of it.
I thought of nothing else for the rest of the day. I wanted to take away her pain. The pain I had given her.
I made my way to my car and waited for her to come out. She made small talk with her friends before sitting in her car alone. I couldn’t resist texting her. I wanted her to know that I was thinking about her.
You are incredibly beautiful, even when you’re sad.
She smiled and I felt my stomach tighten. Her face relaxed again and she knew that I was watching.
Is that why you broke my heart?
Her words cut through me with gut wrenching pain.
I would give anything to take back all of the pain I have caused you.
I watched her as a smile played across her lips.
Some of the pain we enjoyed.
She had no idea what she did to me. Reading words alone made me stiff, painfully so. I took a deep breath and fought the urge to take her in her car.
Go home Emma.
Angela was walking towards my car and I needed time to be alone with her. To threaten her. I glanced back at Emma who was glaring at me.
Now!
I gave her a stern look but had to focus on Angela. I got out of my car and greeted her, trying not to draw attention to us. Emma flew past us, speeding carelessly through the parking lot. I typed quickly, wishing I could go after her.
Slow down.
She sat at the light, waiting for it to change. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat as I waited. When it did she made sure I understood how upset she was. I cringed as her car lurched dangerously into traffic.
“So…” Angela said, her eyes downcast.
“Why the f**k have you been avoiding my calls?” I was livid. More so at Emma who was self- destructing before my eyes.
“I ha-haven’t” Angela replied in a hushed tone, searching the lot for anyone who was listening.
“We need to talk…some other time. For now I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to even hear you breathe my name. You will regret it.” I lowered my voice so no one would hear but I made sure it kept its edge. She didn’t respond, just nodded while fidgeting with her necklace. She turned and made her way to her car.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I didn’t waste a second. I needed to make sure that Emma made it home safe. I drove to her place, making sure no one else was home. Emma’s car was not there. I parked up the road and walked behind her house, finding her bedroom window unlocked. I smiled at how careless she really was where her safety was concerned. I slipped inside her window and waited anxiously for her to come. It didn’t take long. Within the minute, I heard the sound of the garage door raising and lowering. I listened to her as she went about her business, unaware of what could be lurking around the corner. As she made her way down the hall, I felt my pulse quicken in time with her steps.
The door opened.
“So you enjoy the pain?” I asked. She was too stunned. She didn’t reply. Her eyes locked onto mine as if trying to figure out if I was really there. “Close the door.” She stepped inside and slid the door shut behind her. She leaned back against it and her eyes flickered to the window. “If Angela knew about you, she isn’t going or say or do anything about it.” I told her, trying to ease some of her worry. I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her. Anyone. If I was strong enough to stay away I would. She looked confused. “She’s married. The last thing she wants is for her husband to find out she likes f**king other men.” I explained. Her expression changed to hurt and I cursed myself for revealing more to her than I intended. She looked at her feet, biting her lip out of nervousness. “She wasn’t really my type. I like my women all to myself.” I took a step closer to her and lifted her chin with my fingers. “Breathe Emma.” As if my words were her command she sucked in a ragged breath. I let my hands glide over her body. I traced her jaw as my other explored her waist. I let it slip lower, carressing her hip. She let out a breathy moan and I continued on, running my fingers down her thigh and hooking my hand underneath her knee. I pulled it quickly and pressed the length of myself against her. I let my lips ghost across her face to her ear. “I miss the taste of you on my lips.” She relaxed, held there by the pressure of my weight against her. She moaned in my ear. I nearly lost myself at the sound. I let my thumb glide over her bottom lip as she parted them. I pushed my finger inside and she welcomed it with her tongue. “I should go.”
Chapter Twenty-One
I stood in the kitchen in my boxer briefs waiting for the coffee to brew. I was nervous to know if she awoke last night to find me gone. I forced myself not to turn on the news to see if Jeff had been involved in a horrible drunk driving accident. Tragic as that would be. I felt no pity for him. If she had seen the look in his eyes when he touched her. The same look mirrored in my eyes thousands of times before, I am sure.
I heard her stir a few minutes later and I busied myself, pouring the coffee. I turned to face her as I heard her draw near. I ran my hand through my hair trying to push the thought of how lovely she looked in my oversized shirt and nothing else. She looked to the ground and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“Coffee smells good.” She said, breaking the spell. I handed her a cup of coffee and quickly drank mine, pouring another cup.
“Didn’t sleep?” She asked, not accusingly.
“I had a lot on my mind.” My eyes danced over her.
“I’m sorry about everything last night.” She looked sad and guilty. I wondered if I looked guilty.
“I hurt you and you apologize.” I laughed at the irony. “Emma, I am no good for you. I knew what I was doing the first moment I saw you. I should have stopped it. I shouldn’t have let it go this far.”
“I wanted you just as badly as you wanted me.” She said quietly. She didn’t get it. She didn’t understand how dangerous I was for her. For all I know, I killed someone last night because he had touched her. I slammed my hands down on the counter between us. She jumped at the loud noise.
“I scare you. Good. Maybe now you will stay away from me.” The words burned my throat as I said them. I couldn’t imagine never touching her again. Not being there to protect her. But who would protect her from me?
“You don’t mean that.” She stepped around the island, closing the distance between us.
“It’s for your own good Emma.” I wanted her, for once in her life, to think about her own safety. She stopped, not stepping any closer. Her eyes looked through me as she searched for any truth in my words. Without saying another word she turned and made her way to the bathroom. Her steps faster than I would have liked. She was sad. I wanted to run to her, to hold her. I didn’t.
Instead, I went to my room and got dressed. When I returned the air was thick with regret. When Emma exited the bathroom, she was wearing her clubbing clothes. I knew she had finally understood. I had finally been able to push her away.
We didn’t speak. I grabbed my keys and she followed behind me to my car. I opened the door and watched her slide inside. She winced as her bottom touched the seat and angled herself away from me.
“Emma” I sighed.
“Don’t” she cut me off. I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t try to talk to her again. It was sick of me to constantly push her away only to pull her back for my own selfish needs.
The trip to the grocery store where her car was parked seemed especially short. The instant I put the car in park she opened her door and slammed it behind her. I didn’t deserve anything more. I knew that.
“Emma” I called after her, trying to convince myself that I had to make sure she was okay. She ignored me, digging through her purse for her keys. The bag fell from her grasp, spilling its contents all over the ground. “Shit, Emma” I got out and rushed to her side, helping her collect her things. “I’m just trying to protect you.” I was growing frustrated with her. Why couldn’t she just f**king understand I am trying to protect her? Tears began to roll down her face. Fuck. I wiped her tears away with the back of my hand. I let my thumb slip across her lower lip. God, she was so f**kable even when she was sad.
“By hurting me?” She asked, her chin trembling.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. You didn’t use the safe word.” I regretted the words as they left my mouth. Had I really just blamed her? She didn’t know any better. I should have been more cautious. “You deserve better.” It was the most honest thing I have said to her.
“What about the note? What if someone comes looking for me?” I wasn’t a stranger to woman trying to manipulate me and I knew that was exactly what she was trying to do. I also knew she was right. Someone could come looking for her. I wouldn’t let that happen.
“I will take care of that today.” I hoped she knew I meant it. She would always be safe as long as she stayed away from me. She didn’t respond. Maybe she did understand. She got in her car and drove off. I waited, thinking about how I would make all of this right.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I drove back to my house feeling empty. Every second I spent without her felt like an eternity. I hated how weak and out of control I have become. I was risking myself, doing things without hesitation or planning. Like what I did to Jeff. As much as I wanted to make myself feel guilty, I couldn’t. The emotion just wouldn’t come. I told myself I was protecting her. No one was protecting her from me.
As soon as I got home, I stripped off my clothes and ran through a cold shower. I let the water wash over me as if it could wash away my sins. The ocean didn’t even hold enough water for that. I washed myself as if it could, scrubbing harder than necessary until my skin burned like fire against the soap. It still wasn’t enough. The pain paled in comparison to the pain I had caused her. To the pain I would cause her. I let my hand lower, stroking myself at the thought of her. She was so innocent, so trusting. I never gave her a reason to trust me, but she did. I squeezed tighter, allowing a twinge of pleasure to ripple through my body before stopping myself. I didn’t deserve any kind of release. I cocked back my fist and stuck the wall allowing myself, instead the pain that I deserved.
It pumped through me, throbbing up my arm into my chest. It felt good. It felt real. It felt deserved.
I let the water run ice cold before getting out and drying myself off. I switched on the television as I dipped inside my bedroom for clean clothes. I came back out to the sound of the news. They had just finished a story about a drunk driving accident in the early morning hours. I smiled, but it was short lived when they said he was going to be fine. For now. They also mentioned a suspicion of foul play but with his blood alcohol level being what it was they didn’t take it very seriously. Still, I would have to come up with a plan just in case.
I grabbed my phone and sent Angela a message. I needed to meet her face to face and put end to all of this. I wasn’t going to let her hurt Emma. I deserved whatever pain was brought upon me, but Emma was innocent. I had manipulated and used her for my own gain.
As I waited for her to get back to me, I searched the internet to make arrangements for after graduation. I knew I wouldn’t be able to take Emma away before the end of the year without telling her the truth about Jeff. I would just have to risk it and hope for the best. If anything where to happen before then, I would just have to do whatever it takes to make her safe. Whatever that may be.
I was exhausted. I spent the entire night thinking of her. Even when I did manage to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, her face haunted my dreams. I could smell her. Taste her on my lips. She was an addiction that I didn’t want cured. The utterance of her name caused my body to go rigged and my c**k to grow hard. Her twisted sense of self and lack of any kind of discipline only made me crave her that much more.
I waited anxiously for her to come. I needed another fix. I grabbed her books and placed them on her desk. It felt like an eternity since I had looked in her eyes. Since I had broken her heart and pushed her away. I leaned against my desk, my blood pounding in my ears as my heart raced. As she walked through the door, her eyes caught mine and for a second the world stood still and spun faster at the same time. Spiraling out of control and orbiting around us. The high was short lived as one of my students came to ask me a question about our last assignment. I answered him quickly and turned back to her but she had disappeared. Like a beautiful mirage. My eyes scanned the room frantically before coming to rest on her.
She held a smile on her face but didn’t look at me. I struggled to regain my composure and begin the lesson. I prepared questions to engage the class and also to keep myself from fantasizing about her. I asked a few questions, all the while glancing in her direction. She continued to avoid my gaze and appeared to not even be listening.
“Emma…Emma!” I called out, breaking her from her daydream. She looked embarrassed as her eyes shot up and the class looked at her expectantly.
“What?” She asked, not bothering to hide her irritation with me. I deserved it but I didn’t like it. I bit back the urge to scold her, to tell her she needed to be punished. I had no right to say anything to her at all.
“Who exacted punishment on the rebels of the North of England referred to as ‘The Harrying of the North’?” I starred at her, not letting her look away from me. I wanted her to hear the word punishment and think of me. As her cheeks burned pink, I knew that she had. Her brain searched for an answer. An answer that I knew she didn’t have since I had her book all weekend. If she thought of me, of punishment she could put two and two together. Her eyes lit up as she did just that.
“William the conqueror?” She responded with a smirk. I had used ‘William the Conqueror as my contact name when I programmed my number into her phone.
“That is correct Ms. Townsend.” I bit back a grin. “Good girl” I made sure her eyes were locked onto mine as I said it. I knew what those words would do to her. She bit her lip as she flushed. I narrowed my eyes at her, staring at her mouth. Her pretty f**kable mouth. She released her lip immediately.
I broke away from her and continued to ask questions. My thoughts never left her though. I ran my hand over the edge of the desk where her fingers had gripped, holding it tightly while I punished her. I ran my hand over the buckle of my belt, which awarded me another lusty stare. My c**k twitched and I had to discreetly adjust myself.
Time switched into hyper speed and before I knew it the class was emptying. I fought the urge to ask her to stay, knowing if I asked she would. She would want to please me. I licked my lips and glanced up in time to see her glance over her shoulder. She looked sad. I knew I was the cause of it.
I thought of nothing else for the rest of the day. I wanted to take away her pain. The pain I had given her.
I made my way to my car and waited for her to come out. She made small talk with her friends before sitting in her car alone. I couldn’t resist texting her. I wanted her to know that I was thinking about her.
You are incredibly beautiful, even when you’re sad.
She smiled and I felt my stomach tighten. Her face relaxed again and she knew that I was watching.
Is that why you broke my heart?
Her words cut through me with gut wrenching pain.
I would give anything to take back all of the pain I have caused you.
I watched her as a smile played across her lips.
Some of the pain we enjoyed.
She had no idea what she did to me. Reading words alone made me stiff, painfully so. I took a deep breath and fought the urge to take her in her car.
Go home Emma.
Angela was walking towards my car and I needed time to be alone with her. To threaten her. I glanced back at Emma who was glaring at me.
Now!
I gave her a stern look but had to focus on Angela. I got out of my car and greeted her, trying not to draw attention to us. Emma flew past us, speeding carelessly through the parking lot. I typed quickly, wishing I could go after her.
Slow down.
She sat at the light, waiting for it to change. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat as I waited. When it did she made sure I understood how upset she was. I cringed as her car lurched dangerously into traffic.
“So…” Angela said, her eyes downcast.
“Why the f**k have you been avoiding my calls?” I was livid. More so at Emma who was self- destructing before my eyes.
“I ha-haven’t” Angela replied in a hushed tone, searching the lot for anyone who was listening.
“We need to talk…some other time. For now I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to even hear you breathe my name. You will regret it.” I lowered my voice so no one would hear but I made sure it kept its edge. She didn’t respond, just nodded while fidgeting with her necklace. She turned and made her way to her car.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I didn’t waste a second. I needed to make sure that Emma made it home safe. I drove to her place, making sure no one else was home. Emma’s car was not there. I parked up the road and walked behind her house, finding her bedroom window unlocked. I smiled at how careless she really was where her safety was concerned. I slipped inside her window and waited anxiously for her to come. It didn’t take long. Within the minute, I heard the sound of the garage door raising and lowering. I listened to her as she went about her business, unaware of what could be lurking around the corner. As she made her way down the hall, I felt my pulse quicken in time with her steps.
The door opened.
“So you enjoy the pain?” I asked. She was too stunned. She didn’t reply. Her eyes locked onto mine as if trying to figure out if I was really there. “Close the door.” She stepped inside and slid the door shut behind her. She leaned back against it and her eyes flickered to the window. “If Angela knew about you, she isn’t going or say or do anything about it.” I told her, trying to ease some of her worry. I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her. Anyone. If I was strong enough to stay away I would. She looked confused. “She’s married. The last thing she wants is for her husband to find out she likes f**king other men.” I explained. Her expression changed to hurt and I cursed myself for revealing more to her than I intended. She looked at her feet, biting her lip out of nervousness. “She wasn’t really my type. I like my women all to myself.” I took a step closer to her and lifted her chin with my fingers. “Breathe Emma.” As if my words were her command she sucked in a ragged breath. I let my hands glide over her body. I traced her jaw as my other explored her waist. I let it slip lower, carressing her hip. She let out a breathy moan and I continued on, running my fingers down her thigh and hooking my hand underneath her knee. I pulled it quickly and pressed the length of myself against her. I let my lips ghost across her face to her ear. “I miss the taste of you on my lips.” She relaxed, held there by the pressure of my weight against her. She moaned in my ear. I nearly lost myself at the sound. I let my thumb glide over her bottom lip as she parted them. I pushed my finger inside and she welcomed it with her tongue. “I should go.”
