Hot as Sin
Page 62
April needed to tell her story, no matter how painful. For the first time, Dianna needed to listen. Just listen. Just as she should have listened to Sam so many years ago.
“I’d been wanting to get away for so long and I told myself it would be better for both of us if I just left. I thought if I was gone then you wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore and I wouldn’t keep disappointing you.”
God, it was hard not to say anything, Dianna thought as she let April continue.
“I guess part of leaving was wanting to hurt you,” April admitted. “It never seemed fair that our mother kept you and not me. I kind of hated you for it. For being better than me. For being more lovable. But once I got to the Farm and started making friends, they helped me see that I wasn’t being fair.”
April sighed. “Actually, what they really said is that I’d been acting like a spoiled brat. They helped me see that I was so busy trying not to be you all these years, I forgot to try and be myself.” Her mouth quirked up in a rueful half smile. “I know it’s hard to believe, but when I asked you to meet me it was because I was trying to figure out a way to apologize.” Another quirk of the lips. “I really am sorry for being such a jerk all these years.”
Even though she’d vowed to stay silent, Dianna couldn’t help but say, “It didn’t help that I immediately jumped down your throat, though, did it?”
“I guess neither of us invited the other person to tea, huh?” April joked.
Wanting to get everything out on the table, Dianna knew April wasn’t the only one who needed to apologize.
“I blew it, too. I never should have tried to get you and Mom back together. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was such a terrible idea.”
April shrugged. “In a way, it was kind of good that you did that. It made me realize how shitty it would have been to stay with her.” Looking at their hands, still threaded together on the bed, she said, “I never asked you what it was like living with her.”
It was so tempting to make it sound normal, better than it was. But Dianna didn’t want to lie anymore. Not to her sister. And not to herself.
“If I didn’t hide some of her unemployment money every month, she and her boyfriends spent it all at the bar.”
“Were her boyfriends horrible?”
“Some were okay, but others were,” she almost shivered remembering, “scary. Once I started to develop they’d try to corner me, touch me. And she was always too wasted to stop them.”
“No wonder you never wanted me to drink. Or date.”
Dianna put her free hand over her heart. “I know I was overbearing, but I was so scared of anything happening to you. I don’t know if I can change overnight, but is it good enough if I promise to at least try to be less controlling?”
“You can’t help it if you’re a control freak,” April said. “Once I met our mother, things became a lot clearer. I started to see why you’ve worked so hard for your job and house and security. You didn’t want to be like her.”
“No,” Dianna said softly, thinking again of Sam and the baby they didn’t have. “I didn’t.”
April squeezed her hand. “I really am sorry for all the ways I’ve hurt you, Dianna. Especially when you’ve done more for me than anyone else.”
“You’re my sister,” Dianna said softly. “And I love you. I’d do anything for you.”
“I love you, too,” April told her, “but here’s the thing. I don’t want to be taken care of anymore. I need my own space to figure stuff out.”
“I know you do,” Dianna said. “I just wish we didn’t have to go through all of this to figure things out.”
April sucked on her lip again, her brows furrowed. “So, you were at the Farm?” When Dianna nodded, she asked, “How did you even get up there? Did you hike?”
“And river-rafted and climbed rocks and slept under the stars.”
Her sister couldn’t have looked more surprised. “You did all of that? By yourself?”
In an instant, all of her worries about Sam slammed into her. “No, I didn’t do it all by myself.” April had already been unconscious by the time Sam showed up. “I had help. Lots of help.”
Dianna swallowed past the lump in her throat. “His name is Sam MacKenzie and I was engaged to him a long time ago.”
But before she could tell her sister more about Sam’s heroics, and about how they’d fallen back in love, a knock came at April’s door.
A gray-haired doctor stood in the doorway. “I’m looking for Dianna Kelley.” His expression was grave.
Barely feeling April squeeze her hand, Dianna pushed back her chair and stood up.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“I’m Sam MacKenzie’s surgeon. I need to speak with you right away.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
HER LIPS were numb. So were her hands. Oh God, Sam had to be getting better, not worse. He didn’t deserve any of this, not when he’d been nothing but a hero.
Willing herself not to fall apart in the hospital hallway, she asked, “Is there a problem with Sam?”
The doctor raised his eyebrows. “Physically, no.”
She had to blink a couple of times. “You mean he’s going to be okay?”
The man waved one hand in the air and she suddenly realized he looked more irritated than worried.
“He’s pretty beaten up and we had to pick a couple of shards from the bullet out of his leg. The problem is not his health.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’s driving the nurses on his floor crazy asking for you. He’s tried to get up and walk out of his room a half-dozen times. And he’s refused to take any of the pain medication or sleeping pills he needs. I’m afraid we’re going to need your help to get him to cooperate.”
Dianna couldn’t hold back a grin. Thank God, he sounded just like the Sam MacKenzie she’d always known.
And always loved.
Sitting up in the bed, the covers barely covering his hips, Sam pulled off his hospital gown and threw it on a chair. A nurse walked in the room and did a double take when she saw his bare chest.
“Was there something wrong with your gown?” she asked him, stuttering over every other word, her eyes never leaving his naked body.
“I’d been wanting to get away for so long and I told myself it would be better for both of us if I just left. I thought if I was gone then you wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore and I wouldn’t keep disappointing you.”
God, it was hard not to say anything, Dianna thought as she let April continue.
“I guess part of leaving was wanting to hurt you,” April admitted. “It never seemed fair that our mother kept you and not me. I kind of hated you for it. For being better than me. For being more lovable. But once I got to the Farm and started making friends, they helped me see that I wasn’t being fair.”
April sighed. “Actually, what they really said is that I’d been acting like a spoiled brat. They helped me see that I was so busy trying not to be you all these years, I forgot to try and be myself.” Her mouth quirked up in a rueful half smile. “I know it’s hard to believe, but when I asked you to meet me it was because I was trying to figure out a way to apologize.” Another quirk of the lips. “I really am sorry for being such a jerk all these years.”
Even though she’d vowed to stay silent, Dianna couldn’t help but say, “It didn’t help that I immediately jumped down your throat, though, did it?”
“I guess neither of us invited the other person to tea, huh?” April joked.
Wanting to get everything out on the table, Dianna knew April wasn’t the only one who needed to apologize.
“I blew it, too. I never should have tried to get you and Mom back together. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was such a terrible idea.”
April shrugged. “In a way, it was kind of good that you did that. It made me realize how shitty it would have been to stay with her.” Looking at their hands, still threaded together on the bed, she said, “I never asked you what it was like living with her.”
It was so tempting to make it sound normal, better than it was. But Dianna didn’t want to lie anymore. Not to her sister. And not to herself.
“If I didn’t hide some of her unemployment money every month, she and her boyfriends spent it all at the bar.”
“Were her boyfriends horrible?”
“Some were okay, but others were,” she almost shivered remembering, “scary. Once I started to develop they’d try to corner me, touch me. And she was always too wasted to stop them.”
“No wonder you never wanted me to drink. Or date.”
Dianna put her free hand over her heart. “I know I was overbearing, but I was so scared of anything happening to you. I don’t know if I can change overnight, but is it good enough if I promise to at least try to be less controlling?”
“You can’t help it if you’re a control freak,” April said. “Once I met our mother, things became a lot clearer. I started to see why you’ve worked so hard for your job and house and security. You didn’t want to be like her.”
“No,” Dianna said softly, thinking again of Sam and the baby they didn’t have. “I didn’t.”
April squeezed her hand. “I really am sorry for all the ways I’ve hurt you, Dianna. Especially when you’ve done more for me than anyone else.”
“You’re my sister,” Dianna said softly. “And I love you. I’d do anything for you.”
“I love you, too,” April told her, “but here’s the thing. I don’t want to be taken care of anymore. I need my own space to figure stuff out.”
“I know you do,” Dianna said. “I just wish we didn’t have to go through all of this to figure things out.”
April sucked on her lip again, her brows furrowed. “So, you were at the Farm?” When Dianna nodded, she asked, “How did you even get up there? Did you hike?”
“And river-rafted and climbed rocks and slept under the stars.”
Her sister couldn’t have looked more surprised. “You did all of that? By yourself?”
In an instant, all of her worries about Sam slammed into her. “No, I didn’t do it all by myself.” April had already been unconscious by the time Sam showed up. “I had help. Lots of help.”
Dianna swallowed past the lump in her throat. “His name is Sam MacKenzie and I was engaged to him a long time ago.”
But before she could tell her sister more about Sam’s heroics, and about how they’d fallen back in love, a knock came at April’s door.
A gray-haired doctor stood in the doorway. “I’m looking for Dianna Kelley.” His expression was grave.
Barely feeling April squeeze her hand, Dianna pushed back her chair and stood up.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“I’m Sam MacKenzie’s surgeon. I need to speak with you right away.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
HER LIPS were numb. So were her hands. Oh God, Sam had to be getting better, not worse. He didn’t deserve any of this, not when he’d been nothing but a hero.
Willing herself not to fall apart in the hospital hallway, she asked, “Is there a problem with Sam?”
The doctor raised his eyebrows. “Physically, no.”
She had to blink a couple of times. “You mean he’s going to be okay?”
The man waved one hand in the air and she suddenly realized he looked more irritated than worried.
“He’s pretty beaten up and we had to pick a couple of shards from the bullet out of his leg. The problem is not his health.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’s driving the nurses on his floor crazy asking for you. He’s tried to get up and walk out of his room a half-dozen times. And he’s refused to take any of the pain medication or sleeping pills he needs. I’m afraid we’re going to need your help to get him to cooperate.”
Dianna couldn’t hold back a grin. Thank God, he sounded just like the Sam MacKenzie she’d always known.
And always loved.
Sitting up in the bed, the covers barely covering his hips, Sam pulled off his hospital gown and threw it on a chair. A nurse walked in the room and did a double take when she saw his bare chest.
“Was there something wrong with your gown?” she asked him, stuttering over every other word, her eyes never leaving his naked body.
