How About No
Page 3
That was when I felt everything inside of me still.
“The first time I donated bone marrow to my sister, I was a toddler. Barely the age of two and a half,” I said, almost in a whisper. “The second time, I was four. The third? Seven. Do you see a pattern, Sergeant?”
Wade frowned and tilted his head to the side, confusion spreading over his face.
“My parents had me to be their donor baby,” I whispered. “They never wanted me. I was never allowed to be a child. I was a useful object to them.”
Wade looked startled. “What do you mean by not being able to be a child?”
I laughed maniacally.
“I’m saying that I was bred to be their baby’s saving grace,” I hissed. “And I’m not doing it anymore. My sister is an asshole. My father’s a conniving bastard, and my mother is the biggest bitch known to man. Don’t you think that there’s a reason that I’ve never spoken of them?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “Honey, you told me that you had a falling out. But this is your sister.”
I looked over at where my sister was sitting out on the front porch, silently crying her big, fat crocodile tears.
She’d always been good at them.
There was a time when I was younger that all she had to do was get that look on her face, and I’d be scared shitless.
Because if Lina wasn’t happy, nobody was happy, least of all me.
There was always going to be hell to pay if a single tear fell down Lina’s perfect cheek.
Lina also looked like a little China doll. She had perfect blonde curls, soft, milky white skin, blue eyes the color of a crayon, and she was tiny.
I, on the other hand, was none of those things but short.
I had brown hair to her blonde, brown eyes to her blue, freckled skin to her perfect complexion, and when I tried hard, I was also skinny.
Except, lately, I had been drinking beer and having the time of my life—living it like I’d always wanted to live it.
“I won’t do it,” I refused again, sounding petulant now.
I knew he didn’t understand.
Deep down, Wade was a really good man.
He’d experienced a lot in his life. He was a cop and had seen some very bad things.
But, what he did not have, was a bad family.
His family was awesome. His mom was the best mother in the whole world, and his dad was the kind of father I’d only ever dreamed of having when I was younger.
God, even his brother was the best.
He had no clue what it was like to hate your family like I did.
Hell, the only reason he hadn’t heard of them sooner was because my sister hadn’t gotten sick enough to need me.
Had she, Wade would’ve learned the truth about who my family was a hell of a lot quicker.
“I’m going to tell her that you’re thinking about it, and we can discuss it more later, okay?” Wade offered. “I don’t want you to make any hasty decisions because you’re overreacting.”
Overreacting?
I wasn’t overreacting.
Not even close.
“Whatever, Wade,” I muttered, feeling defeated. “Go do what you have to do. I’m going to bed.”
Wade went outside, and through the front windows, I saw Wade sit down and talk to Lina like she was a glass doll.
She wasn’t.
She was hardcore. She was manipulative. She was…hugging my husband.
I stiffened when she threw herself into my husband’s arms, and what did Wade do when that happened?
He wrapped those arms of his that were supposed to be wrapped around me and pulled her in tight.
That’s when I knew I wasn’t going to win the battle.
***
Three weeks later
“Why isn’t your family here?” Wade asked, sounding concerned.
I snorted and turned my head on the pillow so it wasn’t facing him anymore.
The last three weeks had been a lesson in control.
My parents and sister had put on good acts. They’d brought Wade into their arms and showed him just how nice they could be.
They’d put on the perfect show, and their efforts made Wade doubt me and everything I’d told him over the last few weeks to try to enlighten him to just how awful of a family I really had.
“Maybe I should call them,” Wade offered.
I held my tongue.
The nurse poked me in the hand as she started an IV, and I closed my eyes and started to count to ten.
By the time I got down to five, I was fairly sure that I wasn’t going to throw up.
“I’ll be back. I’m going to call them,” Wade murmured.
He disappeared out of the room, and I took a shaky breath.
“You might want to give me some valium,” I offered up. “If you don’t, I’m going to throw up, and you’re going to have to put a new IV in because I’m going to freak out.”
“Nervous?” she asked.
I swallowed so hard that I felt my throat burn. “Yes, sort of.”
Not nervous, per se, at least not about the procedure anyway.
I was, as always, nervous about the pain.
The last time I’d felt the pain of this operation was seven years ago. Seven years to try to put the past behind me.
But I should’ve known better. The past never stayed in the past.
And I was born to endure the pain.
Pain that only got worse each and every time this procedure happened.
So, no, I wasn’t nervous about the procedure itself. I just wasn’t looking forward to the rest of it.
Or what I was going to do after—or where I was going to go.
All I knew was that I wasn’t going home, or anywhere with Wade.
“Would you mind giving this to that man after the procedure has started?” I asked, handing her a thick envelope.
The nice nurse took it and grinned. “Sure thing, ma’am. I’m only a student nurse, though. I won’t even be able to give you the meds you asked for without talking to the nurse supervising me today. But I’ll let her know about your medication request and give the envelope to that man when you’re taken back.”
I looked at the student nurse’s nametag. “Phoebe. That’s a pretty name.”
Phoebe smiled. “My sisters and I were named after the witches off of the old TV show, Charmed.”
I grinned. “Did they use all the names?”
I loved Charmed.
“No, just three. Pru, Piper, and Phoebe. My mom wanted four, but life got in the way. In other words, no Paige for them.”
I found myself smiling despite the turmoil of emotions churning in my gut over my impending procedure and what I knew would follow.
“Too bad.”
Phoebe tapped my shoulder. “I’ll see you soon.”
I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, hoping that by the time Wade got back, I would have had my dose of medication that would make me no longer care about what I was about to do.
***
Wade
“What is this?” I frowned at the thick envelope that the little nurse had just handed me.
“This is something your wife gave me to give to you once she was taken back.” She paused. “I don’t know any more than that, sir.”
I opened the envelope, still pissed off that her family wasn’t here. They didn’t even answer the phone when I called and weren’t here to see their daughter before her surgery. Hands shaking at how angry I was, I unfolded the papers.
The first thing I read stole the breath straight from my lungs.
FINAL DECREE FOR PETITION FOR DIVORCE FOR CAMP COUNTY JUDICIAL DEPARTMENT.
Chapter 2
Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest.
-Text from Landry to Wade
Wade
6 months ago
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” I asked carefully.
I mean, other than the fact that you moved in with my ex-wife the moment that I moved out.
The man offered up his license and registration but didn’t respond, and I was actually kind of thankful for that.
Had I known it was him, I might very well have just let him go without pulling him over, because who wanted to talk to the man that was sleeping in his bed with his wife—ex-wife?
Not me, that was for sure.
I was an upstanding officer of the law. I was a biker. I was a good man.
“The first time I donated bone marrow to my sister, I was a toddler. Barely the age of two and a half,” I said, almost in a whisper. “The second time, I was four. The third? Seven. Do you see a pattern, Sergeant?”
Wade frowned and tilted his head to the side, confusion spreading over his face.
“My parents had me to be their donor baby,” I whispered. “They never wanted me. I was never allowed to be a child. I was a useful object to them.”
Wade looked startled. “What do you mean by not being able to be a child?”
I laughed maniacally.
“I’m saying that I was bred to be their baby’s saving grace,” I hissed. “And I’m not doing it anymore. My sister is an asshole. My father’s a conniving bastard, and my mother is the biggest bitch known to man. Don’t you think that there’s a reason that I’ve never spoken of them?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “Honey, you told me that you had a falling out. But this is your sister.”
I looked over at where my sister was sitting out on the front porch, silently crying her big, fat crocodile tears.
She’d always been good at them.
There was a time when I was younger that all she had to do was get that look on her face, and I’d be scared shitless.
Because if Lina wasn’t happy, nobody was happy, least of all me.
There was always going to be hell to pay if a single tear fell down Lina’s perfect cheek.
Lina also looked like a little China doll. She had perfect blonde curls, soft, milky white skin, blue eyes the color of a crayon, and she was tiny.
I, on the other hand, was none of those things but short.
I had brown hair to her blonde, brown eyes to her blue, freckled skin to her perfect complexion, and when I tried hard, I was also skinny.
Except, lately, I had been drinking beer and having the time of my life—living it like I’d always wanted to live it.
“I won’t do it,” I refused again, sounding petulant now.
I knew he didn’t understand.
Deep down, Wade was a really good man.
He’d experienced a lot in his life. He was a cop and had seen some very bad things.
But, what he did not have, was a bad family.
His family was awesome. His mom was the best mother in the whole world, and his dad was the kind of father I’d only ever dreamed of having when I was younger.
God, even his brother was the best.
He had no clue what it was like to hate your family like I did.
Hell, the only reason he hadn’t heard of them sooner was because my sister hadn’t gotten sick enough to need me.
Had she, Wade would’ve learned the truth about who my family was a hell of a lot quicker.
“I’m going to tell her that you’re thinking about it, and we can discuss it more later, okay?” Wade offered. “I don’t want you to make any hasty decisions because you’re overreacting.”
Overreacting?
I wasn’t overreacting.
Not even close.
“Whatever, Wade,” I muttered, feeling defeated. “Go do what you have to do. I’m going to bed.”
Wade went outside, and through the front windows, I saw Wade sit down and talk to Lina like she was a glass doll.
She wasn’t.
She was hardcore. She was manipulative. She was…hugging my husband.
I stiffened when she threw herself into my husband’s arms, and what did Wade do when that happened?
He wrapped those arms of his that were supposed to be wrapped around me and pulled her in tight.
That’s when I knew I wasn’t going to win the battle.
***
Three weeks later
“Why isn’t your family here?” Wade asked, sounding concerned.
I snorted and turned my head on the pillow so it wasn’t facing him anymore.
The last three weeks had been a lesson in control.
My parents and sister had put on good acts. They’d brought Wade into their arms and showed him just how nice they could be.
They’d put on the perfect show, and their efforts made Wade doubt me and everything I’d told him over the last few weeks to try to enlighten him to just how awful of a family I really had.
“Maybe I should call them,” Wade offered.
I held my tongue.
The nurse poked me in the hand as she started an IV, and I closed my eyes and started to count to ten.
By the time I got down to five, I was fairly sure that I wasn’t going to throw up.
“I’ll be back. I’m going to call them,” Wade murmured.
He disappeared out of the room, and I took a shaky breath.
“You might want to give me some valium,” I offered up. “If you don’t, I’m going to throw up, and you’re going to have to put a new IV in because I’m going to freak out.”
“Nervous?” she asked.
I swallowed so hard that I felt my throat burn. “Yes, sort of.”
Not nervous, per se, at least not about the procedure anyway.
I was, as always, nervous about the pain.
The last time I’d felt the pain of this operation was seven years ago. Seven years to try to put the past behind me.
But I should’ve known better. The past never stayed in the past.
And I was born to endure the pain.
Pain that only got worse each and every time this procedure happened.
So, no, I wasn’t nervous about the procedure itself. I just wasn’t looking forward to the rest of it.
Or what I was going to do after—or where I was going to go.
All I knew was that I wasn’t going home, or anywhere with Wade.
“Would you mind giving this to that man after the procedure has started?” I asked, handing her a thick envelope.
The nice nurse took it and grinned. “Sure thing, ma’am. I’m only a student nurse, though. I won’t even be able to give you the meds you asked for without talking to the nurse supervising me today. But I’ll let her know about your medication request and give the envelope to that man when you’re taken back.”
I looked at the student nurse’s nametag. “Phoebe. That’s a pretty name.”
Phoebe smiled. “My sisters and I were named after the witches off of the old TV show, Charmed.”
I grinned. “Did they use all the names?”
I loved Charmed.
“No, just three. Pru, Piper, and Phoebe. My mom wanted four, but life got in the way. In other words, no Paige for them.”
I found myself smiling despite the turmoil of emotions churning in my gut over my impending procedure and what I knew would follow.
“Too bad.”
Phoebe tapped my shoulder. “I’ll see you soon.”
I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, hoping that by the time Wade got back, I would have had my dose of medication that would make me no longer care about what I was about to do.
***
Wade
“What is this?” I frowned at the thick envelope that the little nurse had just handed me.
“This is something your wife gave me to give to you once she was taken back.” She paused. “I don’t know any more than that, sir.”
I opened the envelope, still pissed off that her family wasn’t here. They didn’t even answer the phone when I called and weren’t here to see their daughter before her surgery. Hands shaking at how angry I was, I unfolded the papers.
The first thing I read stole the breath straight from my lungs.
FINAL DECREE FOR PETITION FOR DIVORCE FOR CAMP COUNTY JUDICIAL DEPARTMENT.
Chapter 2
Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest.
-Text from Landry to Wade
Wade
6 months ago
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” I asked carefully.
I mean, other than the fact that you moved in with my ex-wife the moment that I moved out.
The man offered up his license and registration but didn’t respond, and I was actually kind of thankful for that.
Had I known it was him, I might very well have just let him go without pulling him over, because who wanted to talk to the man that was sleeping in his bed with his wife—ex-wife?
Not me, that was for sure.
I was an upstanding officer of the law. I was a biker. I was a good man.
