I Love How You Love Me
Page 13
“We can’t.” The two words were some of the hardest she’d ever said, when she knew that not only would Mason love to play at that aquarium, but also that going with Dylan would make it even better for him.
“How about Sunday, then?”
“No, that isn’t what I mean.” Her apartment was way too small for the sparks that were jumping between the two of them, despite her most determined efforts to douse them. “We both had a great time with you tonight, but from now on I think we should only see each other when we’re working on the story.”
“You told me you don’t have a husband, and that there’s no boyfriend, either.”
“There isn’t.”
“You, me, Mason—we all get along pretty well, don’t you think?”
“Yes, but that isn’t the point.”
“Then tell me what is, Grace. Tell me why you won’t let me take you and Mason out to have some fun tomorrow night after both of us have finished our work for the day.”
In less than sixty seconds, Dylan had transformed from carefree to utterly determined. She should have seen it coming, should have realized that anyone who could pilot a forty-foot sailboat through dangerous and unpredictable seas would have more determination in his little finger than most people could even comprehend.
And in that moment, she realized that was precisely what Dylan was. Dangerous. Because for as sweet as he was with Mason, with her, with his family…he was also incredibly, shockingly dangerous to her peace of mind. To her future.
She thought she’d wanted him on Tuesday when she’d first met him at his boathouse, and then again tonight when he’d picked them up. But that was nothing compared to how much she wanted—needed—him now. Despite a past that had taught her to know better.
She was so flustered, the first thing that came out of her mouth was, “If we spend too much time together, I might not be able to remain objective about my story.”
“I’m not sure I see how objective you have to be about some guy who likes sailing and boats.” His gaze went too deep, saw too much. But she still couldn’t look away. “That’s not why you think you need to keep your distance, is it?”
All afternoon, she’d asked him to tell her the truth about his life, about his love for sailing. And after witnessing his honest love for his family firsthand, how could she possibly lie to him now? “No, that’s not the real reason.”
“One day,” he said in a gentle voice, after the silence had drawn out between them for several long moments, “I hope you’ll trust me enough to tell me what it is.”
She hadn’t talked to anyone about what had happened, hadn’t wanted her old friends to know what an idiot she’d been by falling for promises her ex hadn’t actually ever made. Nor had she wanted anyone to know who the father of her child was, just in case the Bentleys decided they wanted Mason after all. It had been easier just to disappear the day after they’d given her the checks. To take a trip across the country, seeing all the sights she and her parents had always talked about visiting one day, before finally settling in Seattle when the water had called to her.
And yet, even though she shouldn’t feel as if she knew Dylan well enough, everything she’d been through over the past year and a half suddenly wanted to come spilling out.
“Does Mason usually sack out at eight o’clock?” When she nodded, he said, “Then how about I pick you up at five so we’ll have a good couple of hours at the aquarium before he gets too sleepy to enjoy himself?”
“Didn’t you hear what I just said? I can’t date you.”
“It won’t be a date. Just three new friends hanging out.”
She knew she should say no, but now that she’d been perfectly clear with Dylan that they weren’t going to start anything romantic, was there really any harm in spending a couple of hours together at an aquarium? Especially when she knew how much fun Mason would have with the sea creatures and Dylan.
Of course, even as she rationalized, the wanting was humming away inside of her, calling her a liar. Just admit you want to be with him, that you want his mouth, his hands, on you. That you’ve been wondering all night what it would be like to kiss him.
“Doesn’t the aquarium close at five?”
His grin told her how pleased he was that he was on the verge of getting what he wanted, even if she hadn’t quite said yes yet. “I’ll trade my buddy a sail to keep it open a couple of hours longer for us.”
With that, he took both of their cups over to the sink and rinsed them out, a man who had clearly been raised not to expect anyone to wait on him. She stood, too, hoping it wasn’t going to be awkward when they said good night.
“Thanks for a really great interview and for introducing me to your family. I really did have a good time tonight.”
“I did, too, friend,” he said as he headed out her door. “See you tomorrow night.”
Another man might have pressured her into being more, but Dylan had made her laugh instead with his use of friend.
“You were a handful as a kid,” she said, “weren’t you?”
At the bottom of the steps, he laughed, too. “Why do you think my parents were always so happy to see me sailing away?”
Closing the door behind her, Grace knew she had no right to feel disappointed that he’d left without even trying to sneak a kiss. He was simply doing what she’d asked him to do: treating her like a friend instead of a potential girlfriend. But she had barely slid the bolt closed when she heard footsteps and then a knock.
“You’re back.” She looked up into his eyes, an even deeper, darker brown than usual, as all the butterflies came right back.
He held out her bag with her notebook and recorder. “You forgot this in my car.”
“Oh.” Her voice was flat, heavy with disappointment she couldn’t figure out how to hold back. “Thanks. I would have been in trouble without this tomorrow.”
“It doesn’t feel right to me, either,” he said softly.
Doesn’t feel right? “You don’t want to work with me on this story?”
“No, the story is fine. Leaving like this, like you don’t mean anything more to me than just some journalist, that’s what feels wrong.” He reached for her hand with his free one, just that one simple touch sending heat searing through her. “I was trying so hard tonight to play it cool, to not scare you away by coming on too strong. But all I’ve ended up feeling like is a liar. And I can’t stomach the thought of lying to you, Grace.” He stroked a thumb across her palm, making her shiver despite the heat swamping her system. “So here’s the truth—I’ve wanted to kiss you from the first moment I set eyes on you, and every moment we’re together, I only want it more. But, damn it, I won’t do anything to hurt you when I know someone else already has. So if you don’t want to me to kiss you, and if I’ve somehow read everything wrong since Tuesday when I could have sworn we already had a connection, tell me now…and I’ll make myself go without learning if your mouth tastes as good as it looks.”
“How about Sunday, then?”
“No, that isn’t what I mean.” Her apartment was way too small for the sparks that were jumping between the two of them, despite her most determined efforts to douse them. “We both had a great time with you tonight, but from now on I think we should only see each other when we’re working on the story.”
“You told me you don’t have a husband, and that there’s no boyfriend, either.”
“There isn’t.”
“You, me, Mason—we all get along pretty well, don’t you think?”
“Yes, but that isn’t the point.”
“Then tell me what is, Grace. Tell me why you won’t let me take you and Mason out to have some fun tomorrow night after both of us have finished our work for the day.”
In less than sixty seconds, Dylan had transformed from carefree to utterly determined. She should have seen it coming, should have realized that anyone who could pilot a forty-foot sailboat through dangerous and unpredictable seas would have more determination in his little finger than most people could even comprehend.
And in that moment, she realized that was precisely what Dylan was. Dangerous. Because for as sweet as he was with Mason, with her, with his family…he was also incredibly, shockingly dangerous to her peace of mind. To her future.
She thought she’d wanted him on Tuesday when she’d first met him at his boathouse, and then again tonight when he’d picked them up. But that was nothing compared to how much she wanted—needed—him now. Despite a past that had taught her to know better.
She was so flustered, the first thing that came out of her mouth was, “If we spend too much time together, I might not be able to remain objective about my story.”
“I’m not sure I see how objective you have to be about some guy who likes sailing and boats.” His gaze went too deep, saw too much. But she still couldn’t look away. “That’s not why you think you need to keep your distance, is it?”
All afternoon, she’d asked him to tell her the truth about his life, about his love for sailing. And after witnessing his honest love for his family firsthand, how could she possibly lie to him now? “No, that’s not the real reason.”
“One day,” he said in a gentle voice, after the silence had drawn out between them for several long moments, “I hope you’ll trust me enough to tell me what it is.”
She hadn’t talked to anyone about what had happened, hadn’t wanted her old friends to know what an idiot she’d been by falling for promises her ex hadn’t actually ever made. Nor had she wanted anyone to know who the father of her child was, just in case the Bentleys decided they wanted Mason after all. It had been easier just to disappear the day after they’d given her the checks. To take a trip across the country, seeing all the sights she and her parents had always talked about visiting one day, before finally settling in Seattle when the water had called to her.
And yet, even though she shouldn’t feel as if she knew Dylan well enough, everything she’d been through over the past year and a half suddenly wanted to come spilling out.
“Does Mason usually sack out at eight o’clock?” When she nodded, he said, “Then how about I pick you up at five so we’ll have a good couple of hours at the aquarium before he gets too sleepy to enjoy himself?”
“Didn’t you hear what I just said? I can’t date you.”
“It won’t be a date. Just three new friends hanging out.”
She knew she should say no, but now that she’d been perfectly clear with Dylan that they weren’t going to start anything romantic, was there really any harm in spending a couple of hours together at an aquarium? Especially when she knew how much fun Mason would have with the sea creatures and Dylan.
Of course, even as she rationalized, the wanting was humming away inside of her, calling her a liar. Just admit you want to be with him, that you want his mouth, his hands, on you. That you’ve been wondering all night what it would be like to kiss him.
“Doesn’t the aquarium close at five?”
His grin told her how pleased he was that he was on the verge of getting what he wanted, even if she hadn’t quite said yes yet. “I’ll trade my buddy a sail to keep it open a couple of hours longer for us.”
With that, he took both of their cups over to the sink and rinsed them out, a man who had clearly been raised not to expect anyone to wait on him. She stood, too, hoping it wasn’t going to be awkward when they said good night.
“Thanks for a really great interview and for introducing me to your family. I really did have a good time tonight.”
“I did, too, friend,” he said as he headed out her door. “See you tomorrow night.”
Another man might have pressured her into being more, but Dylan had made her laugh instead with his use of friend.
“You were a handful as a kid,” she said, “weren’t you?”
At the bottom of the steps, he laughed, too. “Why do you think my parents were always so happy to see me sailing away?”
Closing the door behind her, Grace knew she had no right to feel disappointed that he’d left without even trying to sneak a kiss. He was simply doing what she’d asked him to do: treating her like a friend instead of a potential girlfriend. But she had barely slid the bolt closed when she heard footsteps and then a knock.
“You’re back.” She looked up into his eyes, an even deeper, darker brown than usual, as all the butterflies came right back.
He held out her bag with her notebook and recorder. “You forgot this in my car.”
“Oh.” Her voice was flat, heavy with disappointment she couldn’t figure out how to hold back. “Thanks. I would have been in trouble without this tomorrow.”
“It doesn’t feel right to me, either,” he said softly.
Doesn’t feel right? “You don’t want to work with me on this story?”
“No, the story is fine. Leaving like this, like you don’t mean anything more to me than just some journalist, that’s what feels wrong.” He reached for her hand with his free one, just that one simple touch sending heat searing through her. “I was trying so hard tonight to play it cool, to not scare you away by coming on too strong. But all I’ve ended up feeling like is a liar. And I can’t stomach the thought of lying to you, Grace.” He stroked a thumb across her palm, making her shiver despite the heat swamping her system. “So here’s the truth—I’ve wanted to kiss you from the first moment I set eyes on you, and every moment we’re together, I only want it more. But, damn it, I won’t do anything to hurt you when I know someone else already has. So if you don’t want to me to kiss you, and if I’ve somehow read everything wrong since Tuesday when I could have sworn we already had a connection, tell me now…and I’ll make myself go without learning if your mouth tastes as good as it looks.”
