Iced
Page 56
Hush, sweet Kat. Im here. Ill always be here. Together we can do anything. You know that. Remember our vows.
I pull his arms tighter around me. We were young, so young. Everything was simple then. We were fifteen, deliriously and passionately in love, delighted by our developing bodies, growing up together into one. We stole off to Paradise Point out by the lighthouse, dressed up like it was our wedding day, and took vows with each other. We came from broken families, temperamental fighting families, and we learned from watching them. Too much passion burns. Tenderness fuses. We knew what it took to stay together. It was nothing fancy. Common sense, really.
If you weaken, Ill be strong. If you get lost, Ill be your way home. If you despair, Ill bring you joy. I will love you until the end of time.
I love you, Sean OBannion. Never leave me.
Wild horses, Kat. Couldnt drag me an inch. Youre the only one for me. Always. Theres a smile in his voice.
We make love again, and this time, when dark wings try to shadow me, they fail. Theres no one else in bed with me but my Sean.
I watch him dress while dawn paints pale white rectangles around the heavy drapes. I have young charges at the abbey and we are not wed. Wed begun making plans to marry before the walls fell but our families interfered. The OBannions tried to stop it. When they realized Sean was having none of it, they tried to take over and turn it into the spectacle of the decade.
An OBannion marries a McLaughlin!
It would have been a grand step up for my family. We were small-time criminals. His family controlled nearly all Dublins mob underbelly. I grew up with Sean because my mother was his nanny.
Wed been fighting bitterly with our parents for months before the walls fell and billions died.
Including our families. Where else would they have been than out in the riots, watching the chaos, trying to profit from the lawlessness?
I cant pretend that Im sorry for their deaths, and I wont feel ashamed that Im not. The only deaths I rue are those of my two half brothers that survived the fall, only to be killed by Shades. Rowena didnt teach us about eating Unseelie in time for me to save them. My parents and other siblings were corrupt to the core. Sometimes people are born into the wrong family. Sean and I turned our backs on them years ago. But our families never stopped pressuring us and never accepted letting us go. I used to worry so much about what they would do to Sean, how they might try to force him into the family ways, but now such worries are a thing of the past.
Its today and were free!
As soon as we get a quiet moment, and a priest, we plan to wed. Some of the girls are hoping well decide to make a lovely ceremony of it here at the abbey. A wedding in times like these can be an uplifting thing, but Ill not make my wedding into something for another. Itsbetween Sean and God and me.
When he holds my face in his hands and kisses me, I feel his heart, both against my chest and with my gift. Hes happy. Its all I need.
He asks if Ill have him again tonight and I smile and kiss him.
Aye, and every night thereafter and well you know it. If youre fishing for a compliment, my bonny Sean, Ive thousands for you.
But as he slips out, my laughter dies and I stare at the bed.
I should tell him whats happening. I would wish it from him. I would fight for him at night against my invisible foe. We would stand together as one. I would know all the secrets of his tormenting succubus, the better to defeat her.
But I cant. I just cant. It happened before I could stop it the first time. Ive had intimate carnal knowledge of another man. Ive felt things with Cruce Ive never felt with Sean. And I hate myself and I cant tell him. I just cant.
So Im walking home slow-mo Joe style, pissed off but having a hard time focusing on being pissed off because my body feels so good. My minds grumpy, but my bodys saying, Hey, dude, lets play!
I kick a can down the alley and send it flying into a wall, and I do mean into it. It flattens and gets impacted in the brick, and I crack up. Someday somebody is going to see it and be like, dude, what happened here? I leave clues about me all over the city, bending sculptures and broken streetlamps into twisty Ds for Dani and Dude and Dangerous, leaving my calling card for folks to see. Its my Bat Signal, letting the world know somebody is out there, watching, caring.
I got a whole day stretching ahead of me and almost cant believe it! It feels like old times. I think about what to do with myself. Stupid as it is, I resent working on the ice mystery during the day because Ryodans taking such a big chunk of my time every night. But I dont have the luxury of being stupid when folks lives are at stake. It sure would be nice if I could get Dancers superbrain in on it!
Trouble is, I should also head out to the abbey for a checkup. Its been a while since I was out there and sidhe-sheep can get in trouble faster than I can waggle my ass and say baa. I got a worried feeling about them I aint been able to shake.
Then theres Inspector Jayne. Im pretty sure Im due for a cage-cleaning session.
I mosey through Temple Bar, taking my time, drinking my city in, trying to decide how to prioritize my day. Kind of reveling in the simple fact that the choice is mine for a change! I used to love this part of town before the walls fell, so much cool stuff happening every night with tourists and pubs and new Fae to spy on and kill. I found out what it was like to live in these streets after mom died. No collar, no cage. Just a crazy old witch I learned to keep a little afraid of me all the time.
I pull his arms tighter around me. We were young, so young. Everything was simple then. We were fifteen, deliriously and passionately in love, delighted by our developing bodies, growing up together into one. We stole off to Paradise Point out by the lighthouse, dressed up like it was our wedding day, and took vows with each other. We came from broken families, temperamental fighting families, and we learned from watching them. Too much passion burns. Tenderness fuses. We knew what it took to stay together. It was nothing fancy. Common sense, really.
If you weaken, Ill be strong. If you get lost, Ill be your way home. If you despair, Ill bring you joy. I will love you until the end of time.
I love you, Sean OBannion. Never leave me.
Wild horses, Kat. Couldnt drag me an inch. Youre the only one for me. Always. Theres a smile in his voice.
We make love again, and this time, when dark wings try to shadow me, they fail. Theres no one else in bed with me but my Sean.
I watch him dress while dawn paints pale white rectangles around the heavy drapes. I have young charges at the abbey and we are not wed. Wed begun making plans to marry before the walls fell but our families interfered. The OBannions tried to stop it. When they realized Sean was having none of it, they tried to take over and turn it into the spectacle of the decade.
An OBannion marries a McLaughlin!
It would have been a grand step up for my family. We were small-time criminals. His family controlled nearly all Dublins mob underbelly. I grew up with Sean because my mother was his nanny.
Wed been fighting bitterly with our parents for months before the walls fell and billions died.
Including our families. Where else would they have been than out in the riots, watching the chaos, trying to profit from the lawlessness?
I cant pretend that Im sorry for their deaths, and I wont feel ashamed that Im not. The only deaths I rue are those of my two half brothers that survived the fall, only to be killed by Shades. Rowena didnt teach us about eating Unseelie in time for me to save them. My parents and other siblings were corrupt to the core. Sometimes people are born into the wrong family. Sean and I turned our backs on them years ago. But our families never stopped pressuring us and never accepted letting us go. I used to worry so much about what they would do to Sean, how they might try to force him into the family ways, but now such worries are a thing of the past.
Its today and were free!
As soon as we get a quiet moment, and a priest, we plan to wed. Some of the girls are hoping well decide to make a lovely ceremony of it here at the abbey. A wedding in times like these can be an uplifting thing, but Ill not make my wedding into something for another. Itsbetween Sean and God and me.
When he holds my face in his hands and kisses me, I feel his heart, both against my chest and with my gift. Hes happy. Its all I need.
He asks if Ill have him again tonight and I smile and kiss him.
Aye, and every night thereafter and well you know it. If youre fishing for a compliment, my bonny Sean, Ive thousands for you.
But as he slips out, my laughter dies and I stare at the bed.
I should tell him whats happening. I would wish it from him. I would fight for him at night against my invisible foe. We would stand together as one. I would know all the secrets of his tormenting succubus, the better to defeat her.
But I cant. I just cant. It happened before I could stop it the first time. Ive had intimate carnal knowledge of another man. Ive felt things with Cruce Ive never felt with Sean. And I hate myself and I cant tell him. I just cant.
So Im walking home slow-mo Joe style, pissed off but having a hard time focusing on being pissed off because my body feels so good. My minds grumpy, but my bodys saying, Hey, dude, lets play!
I kick a can down the alley and send it flying into a wall, and I do mean into it. It flattens and gets impacted in the brick, and I crack up. Someday somebody is going to see it and be like, dude, what happened here? I leave clues about me all over the city, bending sculptures and broken streetlamps into twisty Ds for Dani and Dude and Dangerous, leaving my calling card for folks to see. Its my Bat Signal, letting the world know somebody is out there, watching, caring.
I got a whole day stretching ahead of me and almost cant believe it! It feels like old times. I think about what to do with myself. Stupid as it is, I resent working on the ice mystery during the day because Ryodans taking such a big chunk of my time every night. But I dont have the luxury of being stupid when folks lives are at stake. It sure would be nice if I could get Dancers superbrain in on it!
Trouble is, I should also head out to the abbey for a checkup. Its been a while since I was out there and sidhe-sheep can get in trouble faster than I can waggle my ass and say baa. I got a worried feeling about them I aint been able to shake.
Then theres Inspector Jayne. Im pretty sure Im due for a cage-cleaning session.
I mosey through Temple Bar, taking my time, drinking my city in, trying to decide how to prioritize my day. Kind of reveling in the simple fact that the choice is mine for a change! I used to love this part of town before the walls fell, so much cool stuff happening every night with tourists and pubs and new Fae to spy on and kill. I found out what it was like to live in these streets after mom died. No collar, no cage. Just a crazy old witch I learned to keep a little afraid of me all the time.
