Iced
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Like shes beaming at me now.
Like she doesnt know I killed her daughter. I guess she doesnt. I guess the last time Mac talked to her was before she found out it was me that took Alina to that alley to die.
For a second I get this stupid vision of how shed be looking at me right now if she knew, and it kicks the breath right out of my lungs and leaves me standing there dumb. I have to clamp down all my insides so I dont puke. Shed hate me, despise me, stare at me like I was the most disgusting, horrible thing on the face of the Earth. Shed probably try to claw my face off.
Instead of this this mom-love-bullshit thing glowing in her eyes like Im her daughters best friend or something, not her other daughters murderer. I thought Mac was the worst thing Id have to face one day on these streets.
Im smothered in a hug before I can dodge it, which shows how discombobulated I am. On a good day I can dodge raindrops! I forget myself for a sec, because shes got soft mom arms and hair and a neck you want to cling to. Worries melt on mom bosoms. She smells good. Im enveloped in a cloud thats part perfume, part something she baked lingering on her clothes, and part some indefinable thing I think are mother-hormones that a womans skin doesnt smell like until shes raised babies. It all combines to make one of the best scents in the world.
After my mom was dead and Ro took me to the abbey, I used to whiz by the house every couple days. Id go into Moms bedroom to smell her on her pillow. She had a yellow pillowcase embroidered with little ducks along the edges like my favorite pajamas. One day the smell was just gone. Every vestige of it vanished without a trace. Not one tiny little sniff left for my supersniffer. Thats the day I knew she was never coming back.
Get off me! I eject myself violently from her embrace and back away, scowling at her.
She beams like one of Ryodans supercharged flashlights.
And stop beaming at me! You dont even know me!
Mac told me so much about you that I feel like I do.
Well thats just stupid on your part.
I read the latest Dani Daily. Jack and I hadnt heard of those bugs. Youve been doing a wonderful job keeping everyone informed. I bet thats a lot of work for you.
So? I say suspiciously. I hear a but coming.
But you really dont need to anymore, honey. You can relax and let the adults take over.
Yeah, right. Werent adults in charge when the walls fell? And havent they been in charge since? Doing a real bang-up job, arent you all?
She laughs, and the sound is music to my ears. Mom laughter. Melts me like nothing else can. Guess because I heard it so rarely from my own. Ithink I made my mom laugh three times. All before I transported for the first time. Maybe it happened once or twice after that. I tried. Id memorize funny things I saw on TV while she was gone. Id watch musicals, learn cheery songs. Nothing I did was right. Rainey Lane is looking at me with more approval than my mom ever did.
Go. Away. No, wait. Dont. You cant be out here alone. Ill find somebody to take you back wherever you go. What are you doing walking around Dublin alone? Dont you know nothing? Theres all kinds of monsters in the streets! Its going to be dark soon! Somebody needs to knock some sense into her.
Arent you the sweetest, to worry about me? But you dont need to. Jacks just around the corner, parking, honey. Theres too much debris in the streets to park any closer. I keep telling Mr. Ryodan he needs to clean up outside his club but he hasnt gotten around to it yet. I suppose we may have to help him out with that. Hes a busy man, you know, a lot on his plate.
Crime is time-consuming, isnt it?
She laughs and I get my first suspicion she might just be totally clueless. Arent you funny? Mr. Ryodan a criminal. That nice man. She shakes her head, smiling like Im just the funniest thing. Yep, clueless. Dani, honey, Ive been hoping to run into you. Mac has been, too. Why dont you come have dinner with us tomorrow night?
Yeah, right. Skewered Dani on the menu, served up with a side of veggies. Not. Would all three of them take turns beating me to death, once Mac ratted me out?
There are some people Id love for you to meet. Theres a wonderful new organization in the city thats been doing fabulous things, bringing about some real changes.
I shoot a big, melodramatic, beleaguered look at the heavens, then back at her. You cant be talking about WeCare. Please tell me youre not talking about WeCare.
Why, yes, I am. Youve heard of us! Shes beaming again.
Us? Gah! Please tell me youre not part of them! You cant be part of them! Do you know they hate me?
No we dont. WeCare doesnt hate anyone. Were all about rebuilding and helping. Whatever gave you that idea?
We. Shes slaying me. Is Mac part of them, too? Dude, like, maybe the way they copied my paper, took over my posts, and printed all kinds of lies about me.
I happen to know for a fact that top individuals at WeCare are eager to meet you. They think as much of you as Mac does.
Gee, great, so they want me dead, too. Top individuals. Lovely. They can get in line behind Christian. Whos behind the Unseelie princes.
Like she doesnt know I killed her daughter. I guess she doesnt. I guess the last time Mac talked to her was before she found out it was me that took Alina to that alley to die.
For a second I get this stupid vision of how shed be looking at me right now if she knew, and it kicks the breath right out of my lungs and leaves me standing there dumb. I have to clamp down all my insides so I dont puke. Shed hate me, despise me, stare at me like I was the most disgusting, horrible thing on the face of the Earth. Shed probably try to claw my face off.
Instead of this this mom-love-bullshit thing glowing in her eyes like Im her daughters best friend or something, not her other daughters murderer. I thought Mac was the worst thing Id have to face one day on these streets.
Im smothered in a hug before I can dodge it, which shows how discombobulated I am. On a good day I can dodge raindrops! I forget myself for a sec, because shes got soft mom arms and hair and a neck you want to cling to. Worries melt on mom bosoms. She smells good. Im enveloped in a cloud thats part perfume, part something she baked lingering on her clothes, and part some indefinable thing I think are mother-hormones that a womans skin doesnt smell like until shes raised babies. It all combines to make one of the best scents in the world.
After my mom was dead and Ro took me to the abbey, I used to whiz by the house every couple days. Id go into Moms bedroom to smell her on her pillow. She had a yellow pillowcase embroidered with little ducks along the edges like my favorite pajamas. One day the smell was just gone. Every vestige of it vanished without a trace. Not one tiny little sniff left for my supersniffer. Thats the day I knew she was never coming back.
Get off me! I eject myself violently from her embrace and back away, scowling at her.
She beams like one of Ryodans supercharged flashlights.
And stop beaming at me! You dont even know me!
Mac told me so much about you that I feel like I do.
Well thats just stupid on your part.
I read the latest Dani Daily. Jack and I hadnt heard of those bugs. Youve been doing a wonderful job keeping everyone informed. I bet thats a lot of work for you.
So? I say suspiciously. I hear a but coming.
But you really dont need to anymore, honey. You can relax and let the adults take over.
Yeah, right. Werent adults in charge when the walls fell? And havent they been in charge since? Doing a real bang-up job, arent you all?
She laughs, and the sound is music to my ears. Mom laughter. Melts me like nothing else can. Guess because I heard it so rarely from my own. Ithink I made my mom laugh three times. All before I transported for the first time. Maybe it happened once or twice after that. I tried. Id memorize funny things I saw on TV while she was gone. Id watch musicals, learn cheery songs. Nothing I did was right. Rainey Lane is looking at me with more approval than my mom ever did.
Go. Away. No, wait. Dont. You cant be out here alone. Ill find somebody to take you back wherever you go. What are you doing walking around Dublin alone? Dont you know nothing? Theres all kinds of monsters in the streets! Its going to be dark soon! Somebody needs to knock some sense into her.
Arent you the sweetest, to worry about me? But you dont need to. Jacks just around the corner, parking, honey. Theres too much debris in the streets to park any closer. I keep telling Mr. Ryodan he needs to clean up outside his club but he hasnt gotten around to it yet. I suppose we may have to help him out with that. Hes a busy man, you know, a lot on his plate.
Crime is time-consuming, isnt it?
She laughs and I get my first suspicion she might just be totally clueless. Arent you funny? Mr. Ryodan a criminal. That nice man. She shakes her head, smiling like Im just the funniest thing. Yep, clueless. Dani, honey, Ive been hoping to run into you. Mac has been, too. Why dont you come have dinner with us tomorrow night?
Yeah, right. Skewered Dani on the menu, served up with a side of veggies. Not. Would all three of them take turns beating me to death, once Mac ratted me out?
There are some people Id love for you to meet. Theres a wonderful new organization in the city thats been doing fabulous things, bringing about some real changes.
I shoot a big, melodramatic, beleaguered look at the heavens, then back at her. You cant be talking about WeCare. Please tell me youre not talking about WeCare.
Why, yes, I am. Youve heard of us! Shes beaming again.
Us? Gah! Please tell me youre not part of them! You cant be part of them! Do you know they hate me?
No we dont. WeCare doesnt hate anyone. Were all about rebuilding and helping. Whatever gave you that idea?
We. Shes slaying me. Is Mac part of them, too? Dude, like, maybe the way they copied my paper, took over my posts, and printed all kinds of lies about me.
I happen to know for a fact that top individuals at WeCare are eager to meet you. They think as much of you as Mac does.
Gee, great, so they want me dead, too. Top individuals. Lovely. They can get in line behind Christian. Whos behind the Unseelie princes.
