Iced
Page 81
Give me something I can use.
I wish I could, boss, but this is well, this is a mess. I rock back on my heels, shove hair out of my face and look up at him. The suns nearly level with the horizon, right behind his head, making this weird halo effect around his faceas if! Im surprised he doesnt smell like brimstone. He probably has a red pitchfork and hides horns under his hair. Making it weirder, the suns got a sparkly gold tint to itthank you fairies for changing everything in our worldand he looksoh, who cares how he looks? Why am I even noticing?
I look away, focusing on my investigation. We got a Fae that appears out of a slit and arrives with a lot of fog. It ices everything in its path then disappears back into another slit. Sometime after that the scene explodes. But why? Thats the big question. Why is it icing what it ices, and why does the scene explode afterward? And why does it take varying amounts of time for the different places to explode?
I feel the ground with my palm. Its freezing. Theres a chill that hasnt dissipated. I wonder if it ever will. Might be kind of cool if it didnt. You could clear the ground, build a house and never need air-conditioning. Itd suck in the winter, though.
I survey the scene. Where the warehouse used to be are piles of crumbled bricks and mortar and splintered framing, with twisted girders from steel racking everywhere, some bent, some poking straight up at the sky. Chunks of Unseelie flesh are plastered to pretty much every
I smack myself in the forehead. Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, theyre not moving! I exclaim.
Theres a choking noise over my head somewhere. Etruscan snoods?
I glow quietly inside. Some accomplishments mean more than others. I am officially the Shit. Now and forever. Dude, watch your question marks. I just pried one out of you.
I have no idea what youre talking about.
Admit it, you lost your eternal fecking composure.
You have an obsession with a delusion about how I end my sentences. What the fuck are Etruscan snoods?
Dunno. Its just another of Robins sayings. Like, Holy strawberries, Batman, were in a jam!
Strawberries.
Or, Holy Kleenex, Batman, it was right under our nose and we blew it!
Theres another choking noise above my head. I could go on for hours.
Check out this one, its one of my faves! Holey rusted metal, Batman! The ground. Its all metal. Its full of holes. You know, holey. I snicker. Gotta love the dudes that wrote Batman. They had to sit around cracking themselves up all the time. Or, Holy crystal ball, Batman,how did you see that coming? I look up at him.
Hes staring at me like I have three heads.
The truth dawns on me. Holy prostrate rugs, you lied! Youve never even read Batman, have you? Like not one single issue. You never even watched an episode on TV! That was, like, your only redeeming quality and it wasnt even true. You been pretending were superhero partners and you dont even know the first thing about Robin! No wonder Ryodans no fun to hang with. Im so disgusted I cant stand it!
I skirt my irritation and get back to the important stuff. The Unseelie parts are motionless. Dead as the humans. Look at them. Unseelie dont die. Nothing but my sword and Macs spear kill them that dead. Unseelie are immortal. You can slice and dice them with human weapons, and the pieces will flop around forever. These aint flopping. This thing is killing them dead. And we never even noticed. Preconceptions. They trip you up every time. When something explodes, you expect to see dead things. Maybe theres something to my idea its after folks life force. Kind of like the Shades, sucking them empty but instead of leaving husks, it leaves the whole shell of their bodies iced. And notice something else: none of the pieces, human or Unseelie, are rotting. Why is that?
Ill be damned.
I know, right?
And you didnt notice this before.
I glare at him. You didnt either. And I tried to recheck scenes twice but you made me sit in your office while you did paperwork. The third time I was thinking about rechecking a scene, I stumbled on a fresh one and almost got exploded myself. I stand up and walk away to get a good birds-eye view of the destruction. I pull out the new phone I grabbed to replace the one I smashed and snap a couple pictures. So, I say crossly, where to next?
As we head for the church where I almost died, I realize Ryodans been keeping me so busy asking the questions he wants answered that I never get around to asking any questions I want answered. So, what happened to me when I got frozen that night? When I came to, Dancer was there with you and Christian. Talk about unexpected. Howd Dancer get there? Who saved me?
I got you out of the church or you would have died right there on the floor.
Youre the one who took me into the church to begin with and didnt warn me what would happen if I touched something. Youre why I almost died, dude. So, who saved me?
I had to take you out slow or you would have had afterdrop.
Yeah, but did Dancer tell you about afterdrop? Cause that sounds like something he would know.
I wish I could, boss, but this is well, this is a mess. I rock back on my heels, shove hair out of my face and look up at him. The suns nearly level with the horizon, right behind his head, making this weird halo effect around his faceas if! Im surprised he doesnt smell like brimstone. He probably has a red pitchfork and hides horns under his hair. Making it weirder, the suns got a sparkly gold tint to itthank you fairies for changing everything in our worldand he looksoh, who cares how he looks? Why am I even noticing?
I look away, focusing on my investigation. We got a Fae that appears out of a slit and arrives with a lot of fog. It ices everything in its path then disappears back into another slit. Sometime after that the scene explodes. But why? Thats the big question. Why is it icing what it ices, and why does the scene explode afterward? And why does it take varying amounts of time for the different places to explode?
I feel the ground with my palm. Its freezing. Theres a chill that hasnt dissipated. I wonder if it ever will. Might be kind of cool if it didnt. You could clear the ground, build a house and never need air-conditioning. Itd suck in the winter, though.
I survey the scene. Where the warehouse used to be are piles of crumbled bricks and mortar and splintered framing, with twisted girders from steel racking everywhere, some bent, some poking straight up at the sky. Chunks of Unseelie flesh are plastered to pretty much every
I smack myself in the forehead. Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, theyre not moving! I exclaim.
Theres a choking noise over my head somewhere. Etruscan snoods?
I glow quietly inside. Some accomplishments mean more than others. I am officially the Shit. Now and forever. Dude, watch your question marks. I just pried one out of you.
I have no idea what youre talking about.
Admit it, you lost your eternal fecking composure.
You have an obsession with a delusion about how I end my sentences. What the fuck are Etruscan snoods?
Dunno. Its just another of Robins sayings. Like, Holy strawberries, Batman, were in a jam!
Strawberries.
Or, Holy Kleenex, Batman, it was right under our nose and we blew it!
Theres another choking noise above my head. I could go on for hours.
Check out this one, its one of my faves! Holey rusted metal, Batman! The ground. Its all metal. Its full of holes. You know, holey. I snicker. Gotta love the dudes that wrote Batman. They had to sit around cracking themselves up all the time. Or, Holy crystal ball, Batman,how did you see that coming? I look up at him.
Hes staring at me like I have three heads.
The truth dawns on me. Holy prostrate rugs, you lied! Youve never even read Batman, have you? Like not one single issue. You never even watched an episode on TV! That was, like, your only redeeming quality and it wasnt even true. You been pretending were superhero partners and you dont even know the first thing about Robin! No wonder Ryodans no fun to hang with. Im so disgusted I cant stand it!
I skirt my irritation and get back to the important stuff. The Unseelie parts are motionless. Dead as the humans. Look at them. Unseelie dont die. Nothing but my sword and Macs spear kill them that dead. Unseelie are immortal. You can slice and dice them with human weapons, and the pieces will flop around forever. These aint flopping. This thing is killing them dead. And we never even noticed. Preconceptions. They trip you up every time. When something explodes, you expect to see dead things. Maybe theres something to my idea its after folks life force. Kind of like the Shades, sucking them empty but instead of leaving husks, it leaves the whole shell of their bodies iced. And notice something else: none of the pieces, human or Unseelie, are rotting. Why is that?
Ill be damned.
I know, right?
And you didnt notice this before.
I glare at him. You didnt either. And I tried to recheck scenes twice but you made me sit in your office while you did paperwork. The third time I was thinking about rechecking a scene, I stumbled on a fresh one and almost got exploded myself. I stand up and walk away to get a good birds-eye view of the destruction. I pull out the new phone I grabbed to replace the one I smashed and snap a couple pictures. So, I say crossly, where to next?
As we head for the church where I almost died, I realize Ryodans been keeping me so busy asking the questions he wants answered that I never get around to asking any questions I want answered. So, what happened to me when I got frozen that night? When I came to, Dancer was there with you and Christian. Talk about unexpected. Howd Dancer get there? Who saved me?
I got you out of the church or you would have died right there on the floor.
Youre the one who took me into the church to begin with and didnt warn me what would happen if I touched something. Youre why I almost died, dude. So, who saved me?
I had to take you out slow or you would have had afterdrop.
Yeah, but did Dancer tell you about afterdrop? Cause that sounds like something he would know.
