If I Die
Page 100
How much do they know? I asked, still invisible and inaudible as long as I held his hand.
Only that Nash has been released. I thought youd want to tell them the rest yourself.
I nodded. Thanks. Then I let go of his hand.
Good luck, Kaylee, Levi said. Then he disappeared.
I took a deep breath. Then I took another. Id figured out quickly how to make my lungs work, but the process was no longer automatic, because it was no longer necessary. But breathing made me feel morenormal, so I took one more breath, then pushed open the swinging kitchen door and stepped into the living room.
Emma was the first to look up, from an armchair in one corner, while my dad and Harmony held one another, her head on his shoulder, their faces red and tear-streaked.
It broke my heart to see my father cry.
Kaylee? Emma said. Her jaw dropped open, and Harmony sat up straight, staring at me. Then my fathers gaze met mine, and I burst into tears.
Kay? He was there in an instant, feeling my arms, holding my face. Trying to convince himself that I was real. I couldnt say anythingcouldnt think of what to sayso I hugged him instead, squeezing him as hard as I could, breathing him in until he clutched me back, finally convinced.
What happened? he asked, on the tail of the most relieved sob Id ever heard. You died. I saw you die. They hadnt fixed his memoryId asked them not to.
I made a deal, Dad. I had to, to make things right.
What kind of deal?
Aiden, Harmony said from behind him, and her voice was so somber, so heartbroken, that I let go of him and looked up to find her watching me, blond curls in disarray, blue eyes so full of grief I could hardly stand to look at them. She didnt know about Tod yetnot for sure. Not if Levi hadnt told her. So was she grieving for me? She signed on with the reapers.
Did you? my dad asked, turning back to me in horror, and I shook my head.
Not exactly. Ill explain it all later, but for now, can we just But I didnt have any way to finish that sentence.
But youre back, right? Emma asked, still standing across the room. She looked pale, and confused, and a little scared. However you did it, youre really back?
Not quite as good as new, but yeah. Im back. I held my arms out and she ran into them, squeezing me so tight I was almost glad I didnt need to breathe.
I woke up, and he was on your bed, and Sophie was screaming! she sobbed into my hair. And there was so much blood, and you were gone!
And Emma and Sophie were all alone with a dead incubus, and theyhad no idea what had happened. They must have been terrified.
Becks dead, I said, holding her while she cried. Everythings going to be fine. Different. But fine. Thats what Id been telling myself over and over for the past few hours, while I waited for Madeline to get everything set up. While I waited for word from Levi, which never came. Hows Sophie? I asked my dad, without letting go of Emma.
Traumatized, but shell be fine. Your uncles decided to tell her everything. The secrets have become too much for them both.
I nodded. It was overdue.
Harmony watched me over Emmas shoulder, arms wrapped around her own stomach, like something hurt deep inside. I wanted to hug her, but I wasnt sure shed want to touch me after what Id done. I wanted apologize for what Id put her through. For what Id let happen to her sons, after shed already lost so much. But I didnt have the words to make either of us feel better.
They were supposed to release Nash I said finally, when Em let me go.
Harmony nodded. Sabine went to pick him up from questioning half an hour ago. Hehe didnt want me to come. She glanced at the ground, then back up at me. They said hed been cleared, but they didnt say how.
I gave a statement to the police. Theres going to be a story about it on the news tonight. Theyre going to say there was a mix-up at the hospital and that the reports of my death were made in error. That was almost a direct quote, from Madeline. As was the next part. Arlington Memorial is telling reporters I was transferred to an undisclosed hospital for privacy, because of the high-profile nature of my case. A sixteen-year-old girl attacked and nearly killed in her own home by a male teacher Evidently that was a brow-raiser. And Im going to be fine.
Before anyone could come up with a response beyond utter, speechless surprise, a car rumbled to a stop outside, and Harmony leaned over the couch to peek out the front window. Its Nash She rubbed her hands on her jeans nervously, then opened the front door. A minute later, Sabine led Nash in with one arm around his waist. He looked sick and exhausted, like he was the one whod almost died.
Nash froze when he saw me, and anger raged in his eyes. He let go of Sabine and glared at me, and I felt my father at my back, a silent, solid presence, which Nash didnt even seem to notice. What the hell did you do? he demanded, his voice low and rough, but blessedly free of Influence.
I told them you didnt do it. I cleared you, I said, unable to quash the guilt I was drowning in with every word.
Only that Nash has been released. I thought youd want to tell them the rest yourself.
I nodded. Thanks. Then I let go of his hand.
Good luck, Kaylee, Levi said. Then he disappeared.
I took a deep breath. Then I took another. Id figured out quickly how to make my lungs work, but the process was no longer automatic, because it was no longer necessary. But breathing made me feel morenormal, so I took one more breath, then pushed open the swinging kitchen door and stepped into the living room.
Emma was the first to look up, from an armchair in one corner, while my dad and Harmony held one another, her head on his shoulder, their faces red and tear-streaked.
It broke my heart to see my father cry.
Kaylee? Emma said. Her jaw dropped open, and Harmony sat up straight, staring at me. Then my fathers gaze met mine, and I burst into tears.
Kay? He was there in an instant, feeling my arms, holding my face. Trying to convince himself that I was real. I couldnt say anythingcouldnt think of what to sayso I hugged him instead, squeezing him as hard as I could, breathing him in until he clutched me back, finally convinced.
What happened? he asked, on the tail of the most relieved sob Id ever heard. You died. I saw you die. They hadnt fixed his memoryId asked them not to.
I made a deal, Dad. I had to, to make things right.
What kind of deal?
Aiden, Harmony said from behind him, and her voice was so somber, so heartbroken, that I let go of him and looked up to find her watching me, blond curls in disarray, blue eyes so full of grief I could hardly stand to look at them. She didnt know about Tod yetnot for sure. Not if Levi hadnt told her. So was she grieving for me? She signed on with the reapers.
Did you? my dad asked, turning back to me in horror, and I shook my head.
Not exactly. Ill explain it all later, but for now, can we just But I didnt have any way to finish that sentence.
But youre back, right? Emma asked, still standing across the room. She looked pale, and confused, and a little scared. However you did it, youre really back?
Not quite as good as new, but yeah. Im back. I held my arms out and she ran into them, squeezing me so tight I was almost glad I didnt need to breathe.
I woke up, and he was on your bed, and Sophie was screaming! she sobbed into my hair. And there was so much blood, and you were gone!
And Emma and Sophie were all alone with a dead incubus, and theyhad no idea what had happened. They must have been terrified.
Becks dead, I said, holding her while she cried. Everythings going to be fine. Different. But fine. Thats what Id been telling myself over and over for the past few hours, while I waited for Madeline to get everything set up. While I waited for word from Levi, which never came. Hows Sophie? I asked my dad, without letting go of Emma.
Traumatized, but shell be fine. Your uncles decided to tell her everything. The secrets have become too much for them both.
I nodded. It was overdue.
Harmony watched me over Emmas shoulder, arms wrapped around her own stomach, like something hurt deep inside. I wanted to hug her, but I wasnt sure shed want to touch me after what Id done. I wanted apologize for what Id put her through. For what Id let happen to her sons, after shed already lost so much. But I didnt have the words to make either of us feel better.
They were supposed to release Nash I said finally, when Em let me go.
Harmony nodded. Sabine went to pick him up from questioning half an hour ago. Hehe didnt want me to come. She glanced at the ground, then back up at me. They said hed been cleared, but they didnt say how.
I gave a statement to the police. Theres going to be a story about it on the news tonight. Theyre going to say there was a mix-up at the hospital and that the reports of my death were made in error. That was almost a direct quote, from Madeline. As was the next part. Arlington Memorial is telling reporters I was transferred to an undisclosed hospital for privacy, because of the high-profile nature of my case. A sixteen-year-old girl attacked and nearly killed in her own home by a male teacher Evidently that was a brow-raiser. And Im going to be fine.
Before anyone could come up with a response beyond utter, speechless surprise, a car rumbled to a stop outside, and Harmony leaned over the couch to peek out the front window. Its Nash She rubbed her hands on her jeans nervously, then opened the front door. A minute later, Sabine led Nash in with one arm around his waist. He looked sick and exhausted, like he was the one whod almost died.
Nash froze when he saw me, and anger raged in his eyes. He let go of Sabine and glared at me, and I felt my father at my back, a silent, solid presence, which Nash didnt even seem to notice. What the hell did you do? he demanded, his voice low and rough, but blessedly free of Influence.
I told them you didnt do it. I cleared you, I said, unable to quash the guilt I was drowning in with every word.
