If Only
Page 13
“Oh please, I’m not going to talk computers with someone your age. You probably think a mouse pad is where a rodent lives.” She scowled at them. “Is this an interview or what?”
“No, it’s a conversation between two Doms and a rude submissive,” Galen said, barely managing to keep from laughing.
She froze as if shocked to be called on her behavior. After a second, her head bent. “I’m sorry.”
SALLY FELT GALEN’S warm hand stroke her shoulder. She’d annoyed him, but he still handled her gently.
And under his slow touch, her body responded in a way these Doms achieved far too easily. To her unease, Vance moved her legs apart before running his palm up and down her outside thigh.
Two men at once. She’d enjoyed threesomes in the past, but…not with these two. They were—
“So, trainee, what kind of a Dom are you looking for?” Galen asked as if not too interested in her answer. He seemed more engrossed in the way his fingers ran over her collarbone. Her nipples tightened as if begging to be touched as well.
Vance moved his hand higher on her thigh so his fingers dipped into the—dammit—wetness of her pussy. A brush against her clit made her jump.
She tried to move away.
“Stay still, pet,” Vance warned as he pressed a finger up inside her. His thumb rested beside her clit.
Biting her lip, she didn’t move, although her center quaked like force screens were disintegrating. Shields up, Scotty.
“That’s a good girl,” Galen said. Approval turned his voice to velvet.
When he cupped her breast, she realized they’d restrained her in an incredibly intimate fashion.
“Look at me, sweetheart.” Vance’s sapphire eyes met hers. Held hers as he slowly pulled his fingers from her pussy and then thrust deeper.
Despite Sally’s anger at them, heat blossomed in her core.
“Galen asked a question. Answer him.”
Question? Oh, right. Vance’s thumb pressed into the flesh above her clit, so close to where it would really feel good. Question. “Um, I don’t want a Master-type Dom.” I don’t want a Dom at all. Not anymore. “Not if he needs a real slave. I like to play.”
“A Dom just for some fun times in the bedroom? To tie you up and fuck you but not dominate in any other way?” Galen plucked her nipple, then recupped her breast as he waited for her answer.
Her body shimmered with heat. Damn them, they were doing this to her again. She tried to remember what she’d once desired. Before Frank. It didn’t really matter though. She could say anything. “Just for the bedroom.”
Vance slid his fingers in and out. “Odd. Her pussy lie detector says she’s lying.”
Sally stared at him. “You can’t—can’t tell anything like that.”
“The technique isn’t one we’re allowed to research.” Vance smiled. “But it works fine.”
He couldn’t possibly tell if she lied. “Let me go.”
“No, I don’t think so.” Galen played with her breasts. The center of his palm was more calloused than Vance’s. Because of the cane?
She realized her not inconsiderable weight rested on his legs. “Let me up.” When he lifted his eyebrows, she lowered her voice. “I’ll hurt your leg.”
His hand stopped moving for a moment, and then he shook his head. “No, you won’t. The damage is already done—you’re not going to make it worse.” He smiled and touched her cheek. “I’m glad to know you care.”
“I don’t.” Angry she’d been so stupid, she tried to push his hand away. Shoving an eight-foot Wookiee would be easier.
“Haven’t you ever wanted a Dom at home to worry about you?” Vance asked. “To spank you for not carrying your cell phone? To push you to try harder? To force you to share what’s bothering you?”
Yes. At one time. Back when she was naive. Now, she really didn’t. “No.”
“Z did a piss-poor job of training you. I had a wife who lied constantly, and I have a low tolerance for it,” Vance said with disgust. “What part of honesty don’t you understand?”
Her chin came up. “I honestly don’t want to answer your questions.”
“No isn’t the answer we’re looking for.” Galen pinched her nipple, a short, painful reprimand.
She winced.
“You’re obviously comfortable with physical intimacy.” Galen ran his hand over her, proving his point. “Why are you so guarded with your thoughts?”
“I feel left out and worried if you don’t tell me what you feel,” Vance said, apparently trying to demonstrate how to share.
“I like you, Sally,” Galen said softly. “We’ve been watching you. Have wanted to play with you for quite a while. But we worry you. Why?”
“Don’t give yourself airs,” Sally snapped. “I’m not worried.”
“Lie,” Vance said softly. When his thumb brushed over her clit, she couldn’t help squirming.
“I talked to the other Masters about scenes they’ve done with you,” Galen said. “They’ve realized that, although you submitted physically, they’d never pushed past your emotional defenses. Never reached your feelings. Normally, that’s not a concern since deeper emotions are best explored by a long-term Dom.”
“Exactly. You’re not that, are you?” she muttered. How dare they talk to Cullen and Nolan and Dan and Raoul? The thought of them discussing her was…humiliating. Terrifying.
“No, we’re not.” Galen pushed her hair off her forehead, then laid his hand along her cheek to stop her from averting her face. “However, you have a problem other subs don’t. You’re not honest or even revealing a hint of your emotions. That’s disturbing, pet.”
“I think you’re overreacting,” she said. “Yeah, maybe I don’t meltdown after a scene like a PMSing teen without a prom date, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me. I enjoy playing. What more—”
“Enjoy playing?” Galen pinned her with those dark eyes again. “Then last week, why didn’t you tell Casey you weren’t getting anywhere?”
The question was an unexpected bull’s-eye. She stiffened.
“We’re not going to judge you, sweetheart,” Vance said. He sounded so…concerned. “Just tell us why.”
“I don’t know.” She blinked away the dampness in her eyes, her stomach twisting uneasily. What was wrong with her? “I just couldn’t.”
“All right, pet,” Galen said, his deep voice soothing. “Maybe you can make some guesses?”
Neither of them was going to back off.
Why had she let Casey continue? Usually, if a scene wasn’t working out, she’d annoy the Dom enough to end it early. But that evening… “I was just too tired to fight, I guess.”
Galen’s eyes narrowed. “To fight? Why would telling a Dom you weren’t into a scene have to be a battle?”
Her mouth opened. Closed.
“You never do tell them if a session isn’t working, do you?” Vance asked. “Instead you prod until the Dom gets annoyed and lets you go.”
Her cheeks felt too hot.
“Why, Sally?” Galen hadn’t moved, and yet she felt as if he was in her face. “We’re here to listen to what you have to say.”
His statement flattened her with its weight, compressing her chest and lungs. She couldn’t do anything right. Couldn’t even be a good submissive after so long. She began to fight Galen’s hold, and when he didn’t release her, she glared at him. “Red. Red, red, red. Let me go now.”
Galen lifted his hands. Vance moved back.
Sally jumped to her feet and snatched up her clothing.
Before she could run, Galen gripped her arm. “You safeworded, so I’m letting you go, but pet, the problem you have won’t disappear. Talk with someone about this. Master Z, if no one else.”
Never. “Just stay away from me. I don’t like you.” She glared at Vance. “Or you. Is that honest enough for you?” Wrenching her arm from Galen’s grasp, she fled.
Chapter Five
Sally used her thumbs to tap in the phone number to the Shadowlands, winced, and frowned at her hand. Every nail was bitten down to the quick…and now a bit past. Ugh.
Sitting in the shade near the University of Central Florida’s reflecting pond, she tried to let the noise of the fountain calm her. Didn’t work. Even the stupid stubby St. Augustine grass annoyed her. In kindergarten, she and her best friend would roll down the tiny playground hill. But silky-soft northern grasses didn’t like Florida. No one would roll on this crap.
She used her index finger on the small cell-phone screen. Got to admit, short nails made it easier to type. But she really should stop chewing on herself. She’d thought she’d gotten past the nervous habit in college. Did they still sell that nasty stuff you could put on your nails?
“Sally, I’ve been worried about you.” The voice on the other end was deep, rich, and powerful.
Damn caller ID and double damn the call hadn’t gone to voice mail. Sally rolled her eyes. And didn’t that make this a typical Monday? In a totally crappy month. In fact, the entire season had sucked the big one. “Master Z, I appreciate you letting me return to the trainees, but it’s not working out with my schedule. I’m sorry to do this to you, but I’m quitting. Again.” Forever.
“No, it’s a conversation between two Doms and a rude submissive,” Galen said, barely managing to keep from laughing.
She froze as if shocked to be called on her behavior. After a second, her head bent. “I’m sorry.”
SALLY FELT GALEN’S warm hand stroke her shoulder. She’d annoyed him, but he still handled her gently.
And under his slow touch, her body responded in a way these Doms achieved far too easily. To her unease, Vance moved her legs apart before running his palm up and down her outside thigh.
Two men at once. She’d enjoyed threesomes in the past, but…not with these two. They were—
“So, trainee, what kind of a Dom are you looking for?” Galen asked as if not too interested in her answer. He seemed more engrossed in the way his fingers ran over her collarbone. Her nipples tightened as if begging to be touched as well.
Vance moved his hand higher on her thigh so his fingers dipped into the—dammit—wetness of her pussy. A brush against her clit made her jump.
She tried to move away.
“Stay still, pet,” Vance warned as he pressed a finger up inside her. His thumb rested beside her clit.
Biting her lip, she didn’t move, although her center quaked like force screens were disintegrating. Shields up, Scotty.
“That’s a good girl,” Galen said. Approval turned his voice to velvet.
When he cupped her breast, she realized they’d restrained her in an incredibly intimate fashion.
“Look at me, sweetheart.” Vance’s sapphire eyes met hers. Held hers as he slowly pulled his fingers from her pussy and then thrust deeper.
Despite Sally’s anger at them, heat blossomed in her core.
“Galen asked a question. Answer him.”
Question? Oh, right. Vance’s thumb pressed into the flesh above her clit, so close to where it would really feel good. Question. “Um, I don’t want a Master-type Dom.” I don’t want a Dom at all. Not anymore. “Not if he needs a real slave. I like to play.”
“A Dom just for some fun times in the bedroom? To tie you up and fuck you but not dominate in any other way?” Galen plucked her nipple, then recupped her breast as he waited for her answer.
Her body shimmered with heat. Damn them, they were doing this to her again. She tried to remember what she’d once desired. Before Frank. It didn’t really matter though. She could say anything. “Just for the bedroom.”
Vance slid his fingers in and out. “Odd. Her pussy lie detector says she’s lying.”
Sally stared at him. “You can’t—can’t tell anything like that.”
“The technique isn’t one we’re allowed to research.” Vance smiled. “But it works fine.”
He couldn’t possibly tell if she lied. “Let me go.”
“No, I don’t think so.” Galen played with her breasts. The center of his palm was more calloused than Vance’s. Because of the cane?
She realized her not inconsiderable weight rested on his legs. “Let me up.” When he lifted his eyebrows, she lowered her voice. “I’ll hurt your leg.”
His hand stopped moving for a moment, and then he shook his head. “No, you won’t. The damage is already done—you’re not going to make it worse.” He smiled and touched her cheek. “I’m glad to know you care.”
“I don’t.” Angry she’d been so stupid, she tried to push his hand away. Shoving an eight-foot Wookiee would be easier.
“Haven’t you ever wanted a Dom at home to worry about you?” Vance asked. “To spank you for not carrying your cell phone? To push you to try harder? To force you to share what’s bothering you?”
Yes. At one time. Back when she was naive. Now, she really didn’t. “No.”
“Z did a piss-poor job of training you. I had a wife who lied constantly, and I have a low tolerance for it,” Vance said with disgust. “What part of honesty don’t you understand?”
Her chin came up. “I honestly don’t want to answer your questions.”
“No isn’t the answer we’re looking for.” Galen pinched her nipple, a short, painful reprimand.
She winced.
“You’re obviously comfortable with physical intimacy.” Galen ran his hand over her, proving his point. “Why are you so guarded with your thoughts?”
“I feel left out and worried if you don’t tell me what you feel,” Vance said, apparently trying to demonstrate how to share.
“I like you, Sally,” Galen said softly. “We’ve been watching you. Have wanted to play with you for quite a while. But we worry you. Why?”
“Don’t give yourself airs,” Sally snapped. “I’m not worried.”
“Lie,” Vance said softly. When his thumb brushed over her clit, she couldn’t help squirming.
“I talked to the other Masters about scenes they’ve done with you,” Galen said. “They’ve realized that, although you submitted physically, they’d never pushed past your emotional defenses. Never reached your feelings. Normally, that’s not a concern since deeper emotions are best explored by a long-term Dom.”
“Exactly. You’re not that, are you?” she muttered. How dare they talk to Cullen and Nolan and Dan and Raoul? The thought of them discussing her was…humiliating. Terrifying.
“No, we’re not.” Galen pushed her hair off her forehead, then laid his hand along her cheek to stop her from averting her face. “However, you have a problem other subs don’t. You’re not honest or even revealing a hint of your emotions. That’s disturbing, pet.”
“I think you’re overreacting,” she said. “Yeah, maybe I don’t meltdown after a scene like a PMSing teen without a prom date, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me. I enjoy playing. What more—”
“Enjoy playing?” Galen pinned her with those dark eyes again. “Then last week, why didn’t you tell Casey you weren’t getting anywhere?”
The question was an unexpected bull’s-eye. She stiffened.
“We’re not going to judge you, sweetheart,” Vance said. He sounded so…concerned. “Just tell us why.”
“I don’t know.” She blinked away the dampness in her eyes, her stomach twisting uneasily. What was wrong with her? “I just couldn’t.”
“All right, pet,” Galen said, his deep voice soothing. “Maybe you can make some guesses?”
Neither of them was going to back off.
Why had she let Casey continue? Usually, if a scene wasn’t working out, she’d annoy the Dom enough to end it early. But that evening… “I was just too tired to fight, I guess.”
Galen’s eyes narrowed. “To fight? Why would telling a Dom you weren’t into a scene have to be a battle?”
Her mouth opened. Closed.
“You never do tell them if a session isn’t working, do you?” Vance asked. “Instead you prod until the Dom gets annoyed and lets you go.”
Her cheeks felt too hot.
“Why, Sally?” Galen hadn’t moved, and yet she felt as if he was in her face. “We’re here to listen to what you have to say.”
His statement flattened her with its weight, compressing her chest and lungs. She couldn’t do anything right. Couldn’t even be a good submissive after so long. She began to fight Galen’s hold, and when he didn’t release her, she glared at him. “Red. Red, red, red. Let me go now.”
Galen lifted his hands. Vance moved back.
Sally jumped to her feet and snatched up her clothing.
Before she could run, Galen gripped her arm. “You safeworded, so I’m letting you go, but pet, the problem you have won’t disappear. Talk with someone about this. Master Z, if no one else.”
Never. “Just stay away from me. I don’t like you.” She glared at Vance. “Or you. Is that honest enough for you?” Wrenching her arm from Galen’s grasp, she fled.
Chapter Five
Sally used her thumbs to tap in the phone number to the Shadowlands, winced, and frowned at her hand. Every nail was bitten down to the quick…and now a bit past. Ugh.
Sitting in the shade near the University of Central Florida’s reflecting pond, she tried to let the noise of the fountain calm her. Didn’t work. Even the stupid stubby St. Augustine grass annoyed her. In kindergarten, she and her best friend would roll down the tiny playground hill. But silky-soft northern grasses didn’t like Florida. No one would roll on this crap.
She used her index finger on the small cell-phone screen. Got to admit, short nails made it easier to type. But she really should stop chewing on herself. She’d thought she’d gotten past the nervous habit in college. Did they still sell that nasty stuff you could put on your nails?
“Sally, I’ve been worried about you.” The voice on the other end was deep, rich, and powerful.
Damn caller ID and double damn the call hadn’t gone to voice mail. Sally rolled her eyes. And didn’t that make this a typical Monday? In a totally crappy month. In fact, the entire season had sucked the big one. “Master Z, I appreciate you letting me return to the trainees, but it’s not working out with my schedule. I’m sorry to do this to you, but I’m quitting. Again.” Forever.
