Illuminae
Page 22
McNulty, J, Sgt: this is not a drill
Mason, E, LT 2nd: if I do send
Mason, E, LT 2nd: and then I find hardcopy of this pinned to the ceiling above your bunk
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I will cut your slightly sweatysomethings off and flush them out an airlock
McNulty, J, Sgt: I solemnly swear I will not engage in happy pants while looking at pics of ur would-be ex-ex-girlfriend, chum
Mason, E, LT 2nd: …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: k, sending
McNulty, J, Sgt: holy shit
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ya
McNulty, J, Sgt: this is her?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ya
McNulty, J, Sgt: she got pink hair
Mason, E, LT 2nd: she used to dye it
McNulty, J, Sgt: did the collar match the cuffs?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: >_<
McNulty, J, Sgt: how in god’s name … chum, I have bad news
Mason, E, LT 2nd: let me guess, you’re planning to break your solemn vow as soon as you finish speaking to me, rite?
McNulty, J, Sgt: you wound me, chum
Mason, E, LT 2nd: :P
McNulty, J, Sgt: bad news is im typing ths 1 handed
Mason, E, LT 2nd: god no
McNulty, J, Sgt: think im getting the hng of it
Mason, E, LT 2nd: STOP
McNulty, J, Sgt: 1more min
Mason, E, LT 2nd: STOP.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: JIMMY, I SWEAR TO ALL THAT’S HOLY
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I WILL NEVER SPEAK ILL OF YOUR SISTER AGAIN
Mason, E, LT 2nd: JUST STOP NOW
McNulty, J, Sgt: u promise?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I FUCKING SWEAR
McNulty, J, Sgt: zzzz, fine
Mason, E, LT 2nd: why is it every time I finish talking to you
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I need a fucking shower …
McNulty, J, Sgt: …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you hear that?
McNulty, J, Sgt: shipboard alarm
Mason, E, LT 2nd: they calling your squad, chum. Code blue
McNulty, J, Sgt: shit chum, I gotta jump.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: k
McNulty, J, Sgt: taking hardcopy with me
McNulty, J, Sgt: for later
McNulty, J, Sgt: :)
Mason, E, LT 2nd: zzzzzz
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you back yet, chum?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: jimmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh
Mason, E, LT 2nd: GIMME SITREPBITCH
Mason, E, LT 2nd: if u back and in the shower with that pic of K, Ima give little Jimmy the chop and flush him down the head
Mason, E, LT 2nd: zzzzz, I got VR training, ping me back when u get in
Dorian, C, Corp: Ping.
Dorian, C, Corp: Ping.
Dorian, C, Corp: And at the risk of repeating myself …
Dorian, C, Corp: Ping.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: dorian?
Dorian, C, Corp: Bravo. Your insight is as astounding as ever, Mason.
Dorian, C, Corp: It’s my sincere belief that your potential is wasted in that sweaty little cockpit. You should be doing the Coreworld lecture circuit. Imagine it: Packed houses. Perfect hair. Screaming girlchildren. “Tonight Only. Ezra Mason: How to state the bleeding obvious.”
Mason, E, LT 2nd: …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: hug?
Dorian, C, Corp: Silence. Let me work.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: Chum, YOU pinged ME.
Dorian, C, Corp: I’m still testing internal comms. Just hold still. This won’t hurt.
Dorian, C, Corp: *snaps on latex gloves*
Mason, E, LT 2nd: Dorian, this is really saying something, but you seem pissier than normal
Dorian, C, Corp: Mason, I’ve had 3.72 hours sleep in the last six days. There are more stims in my bloodstream than blood. If you want congeniality, try McNulty’s sister.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: wut’s congeniality and is there a cream for it?
Dorian, C, Corp: Oh, my. You’re just hilarious.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you just figure that out?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: speaking of my future bride, you heard from jimmy?
Dorian, C, Corp: And why would I have heard from James, pray tell?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: isn’t that what married couples do? Talk and what not? And why u no send him flowers anymore
Dorian, C, Corp: SILENCE, DAMN YOU.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: seriously, you heard from him?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: His squad got called to a code blue, like, sixteen hours ago.
Dorian, C, Corp: … Indeed?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ya. Heard nothing since.
Dorian, C, Corp: Give me a moment. I shall check.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: u know Dorian, people say you’re a blackhearted prick with all the social skills of a pubic louse. but I know better
Mason, E, LT 2nd: your heart’s more gray than black
Dorian, C, Corp: Mason.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: maybe puce
Dorian, C, Corp: Mason, shut up.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: k
Dorian, C, Corp: I have good news and bad news.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: in terms of drama, which one should I ask for first
Dorian, C, Corp: The good news. Most definitely.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: k gimme
Dorian, C, Corp: I found James’ squad. They’re debriefing in quarantine. The Code Blue is still in effect in Hangar Bay 4, but his squad made it out.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: Can I guess the bad news?
Dorian, C, Corp: You may try.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: Jimmy’s not with them.
Dorian, C, Corp: … How did you know that?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I just tried to imagine all the ways things could get worse, then picked the shittiest option
Dorian, C, Corp: …
Dorian, C, Corp: You know Mason, sometimes you’re not as stupid as you look.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you just figure that out?
ByteMe: well that is not as nice as flowers. what u need?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: A friend of mine is off-grid. Wondering if your powers can work for good as well as evilllllll
Mason, E, LT 2nd: if I do send
Mason, E, LT 2nd: and then I find hardcopy of this pinned to the ceiling above your bunk
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I will cut your slightly sweatysomethings off and flush them out an airlock
McNulty, J, Sgt: I solemnly swear I will not engage in happy pants while looking at pics of ur would-be ex-ex-girlfriend, chum
Mason, E, LT 2nd: …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: k, sending
McNulty, J, Sgt: holy shit
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ya
McNulty, J, Sgt: this is her?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ya
McNulty, J, Sgt: she got pink hair
Mason, E, LT 2nd: she used to dye it
McNulty, J, Sgt: did the collar match the cuffs?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: >_<
McNulty, J, Sgt: how in god’s name … chum, I have bad news
Mason, E, LT 2nd: let me guess, you’re planning to break your solemn vow as soon as you finish speaking to me, rite?
McNulty, J, Sgt: you wound me, chum
Mason, E, LT 2nd: :P
McNulty, J, Sgt: bad news is im typing ths 1 handed
Mason, E, LT 2nd: god no
McNulty, J, Sgt: think im getting the hng of it
Mason, E, LT 2nd: STOP
McNulty, J, Sgt: 1more min
Mason, E, LT 2nd: STOP.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: JIMMY, I SWEAR TO ALL THAT’S HOLY
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I WILL NEVER SPEAK ILL OF YOUR SISTER AGAIN
Mason, E, LT 2nd: JUST STOP NOW
McNulty, J, Sgt: u promise?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I FUCKING SWEAR
McNulty, J, Sgt: zzzz, fine
Mason, E, LT 2nd: why is it every time I finish talking to you
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I need a fucking shower …
McNulty, J, Sgt: …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you hear that?
McNulty, J, Sgt: shipboard alarm
Mason, E, LT 2nd: they calling your squad, chum. Code blue
McNulty, J, Sgt: shit chum, I gotta jump.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: k
McNulty, J, Sgt: taking hardcopy with me
McNulty, J, Sgt: for later
McNulty, J, Sgt: :)
Mason, E, LT 2nd: zzzzzz
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you back yet, chum?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: jimmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh
Mason, E, LT 2nd: GIMME SITREPBITCH
Mason, E, LT 2nd: if u back and in the shower with that pic of K, Ima give little Jimmy the chop and flush him down the head
Mason, E, LT 2nd: zzzzz, I got VR training, ping me back when u get in
Dorian, C, Corp: Ping.
Dorian, C, Corp: Ping.
Dorian, C, Corp: And at the risk of repeating myself …
Dorian, C, Corp: Ping.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: dorian?
Dorian, C, Corp: Bravo. Your insight is as astounding as ever, Mason.
Dorian, C, Corp: It’s my sincere belief that your potential is wasted in that sweaty little cockpit. You should be doing the Coreworld lecture circuit. Imagine it: Packed houses. Perfect hair. Screaming girlchildren. “Tonight Only. Ezra Mason: How to state the bleeding obvious.”
Mason, E, LT 2nd: …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: hug?
Dorian, C, Corp: Silence. Let me work.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: Chum, YOU pinged ME.
Dorian, C, Corp: I’m still testing internal comms. Just hold still. This won’t hurt.
Dorian, C, Corp: *snaps on latex gloves*
Mason, E, LT 2nd: Dorian, this is really saying something, but you seem pissier than normal
Dorian, C, Corp: Mason, I’ve had 3.72 hours sleep in the last six days. There are more stims in my bloodstream than blood. If you want congeniality, try McNulty’s sister.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: wut’s congeniality and is there a cream for it?
Dorian, C, Corp: Oh, my. You’re just hilarious.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you just figure that out?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: speaking of my future bride, you heard from jimmy?
Dorian, C, Corp: And why would I have heard from James, pray tell?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: isn’t that what married couples do? Talk and what not? And why u no send him flowers anymore
Dorian, C, Corp: SILENCE, DAMN YOU.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: seriously, you heard from him?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: His squad got called to a code blue, like, sixteen hours ago.
Dorian, C, Corp: … Indeed?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ya. Heard nothing since.
Dorian, C, Corp: Give me a moment. I shall check.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: u know Dorian, people say you’re a blackhearted prick with all the social skills of a pubic louse. but I know better
Mason, E, LT 2nd: your heart’s more gray than black
Dorian, C, Corp: Mason.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: maybe puce
Dorian, C, Corp: Mason, shut up.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: k
Dorian, C, Corp: I have good news and bad news.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: in terms of drama, which one should I ask for first
Dorian, C, Corp: The good news. Most definitely.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: k gimme
Dorian, C, Corp: I found James’ squad. They’re debriefing in quarantine. The Code Blue is still in effect in Hangar Bay 4, but his squad made it out.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: Can I guess the bad news?
Dorian, C, Corp: You may try.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: Jimmy’s not with them.
Dorian, C, Corp: … How did you know that?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I just tried to imagine all the ways things could get worse, then picked the shittiest option
Dorian, C, Corp: …
Dorian, C, Corp: You know Mason, sometimes you’re not as stupid as you look.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you just figure that out?
ByteMe: well that is not as nice as flowers. what u need?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: A friend of mine is off-grid. Wondering if your powers can work for good as well as evilllllll
