Illusive
Page 54
She sat on the stool next to me, staring at me in silence. And then she placed her lips to mine and kissed me in the way any man would want their day to start. When she ended it, she said, “I would love you to do that, Griff. Thank you.”
I didn’t know what to do with her appreciation. It wasn’t something I was used to from people. So I tucked it away and moved on. I drank what was left of my coffee and stood to leave. After placing my mug in the sink, I said, “I’ll be over tonight after you get home from the gym.”
She came to me and slid her arms around my waist. Looking up at me, she said, “We owe Josie a huge thank you. You do know it was her that pushed me to you that night, right?”
“Of course I know it was her. I knew from her eyes that day she faked her fall down the stairs that she had no intention of resting until she got what she wanted.”
“Did you ever think she would get what she wanted?” The hesitation in her voice killed me. Sophia was the kind of woman any man would go to the ends of the Earth for and yet she doubted herself.
I tipped her chin up. “I’m a stubborn asshole and would never have admitted it to Josie, but I wanted you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.”
The smile that lit her face was worth anything it cost me. “You might not say a lot, handsome, but the things you do say are priceless.”
On the way to the clubhouse, I realised I’d give her a million words if it made her happy, and I couldn’t say that about any other woman I’d ever met.
It was quiet when I arrived there. Most of the boys had left after me this morning and some had crashed right where they had their last drink. I ignored the sleeping bodies and headed into the kitchen to get more coffee. My head had almost stopped pounding and I figured one more coffee might do the trick.
As I waited for the kettle to boil, my phone buzzed with a text.
Danny: The trial has been delayed. Not sure how long, but giving you a heads up. Just so you know, though, there’s no way out of this, Michael. You will be called as a witness and everyone will learn your identity.
I didn’t send a text back. Slipping my phone back in my pocket, I thought about Bond. Everything seemed to be falling into place. The trial delay would work well for us with Blade’s plan for Bond this week. No Bond would equal no trial. And my identity would be long buried.
23
Sophia
“What was it like for you growing up with Mum?” Magan asked me as we sat getting pedicures the next afternoon.
Her question surprised me coming out of the blue like that. We’d spoken a little about Mum over the last six months, but the topic almost felt out of bounds most days. Like neither of us wanted to confront our hurt. I guessed with Mum now back in our lives, the hurt was front and centre anyway, so there was nothing holding us back from talking about it.
“I was so young when I lived with her that I adored her. She could do no wrong in my eyes back then. But thinking about it now, as an adult looking back, she struggled as a mother. She didn’t know how to deal with me when I was naughty. Instead of teaching me boundaries, she’d just send me to my bedroom and not talk to me. Her temper was so quick that she’d yell at me for the smallest thing, and I would then spend days trying to please her and make her happy with me again, because when she got mad at me, she held onto it for days, sometimes weeks.”
Magan’s eyes were wide. “I don’t remember her being like that with me.”
Telling the truth but at the same time not wanting to shatter my sister’s rose-coloured memories was a hard thing to do. To top it off, I felt awful because I wanted her to see how badly our mother had treated us. I almost wanted to shake the God’s honest truth into her, but I knew I could never be so cruel. Kids eventually grew up, and at some point their eyes would open and they would work the bad stuff out for themselves. That was one of the bitches of life. You couldn’t hide from the truth forever.
“Maybe by the time she had you, she’d grown a little bit. She was so young when she had me. I don’t know…no mother is perfect, and I don’t ever expect perfection from a person, but I feel like she didn’t try to do better,” I said.
“She said she’s going to try to be better now. And she still wants you to be part of her life. Do you think you ever will be?” The hope on Magan’s face made me pause for a moment. She had an almost desperate need for me to want to be part of their lives, and I so wanted to be a part of Magan’s life, but not our mother’s.
I can’t do it.
Not even for Magan.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Magan, but I can’t. Too much has happened for me to be able to let her back in. I don’t trust her…and without trust, I have nothing.” My voice wobbled, and as much as I tried not to let this affect me – because, goddamn it, she’d affected enough of my life already – this stuff hurt.
She took all of that in, and finally nodded. “Okay.” It was only one word, but I felt the emotion behind it, and I valued it for what it represented – her acceptance of my decision.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“So,” she said, changing the conversation, “what’s happening with lover boy?”
I grinned. “I’m sure he would love you calling him that. He’s so far from a boy, babe.”
“Good, I’ll be sure to call him that when I see him next.”
“He’s the kind of man I’ve waited ages for. He did my mowing the other day, fixed my light bulb and washer, and now he’s going to fix my patio.” I all but sighed.
I didn’t know what to do with her appreciation. It wasn’t something I was used to from people. So I tucked it away and moved on. I drank what was left of my coffee and stood to leave. After placing my mug in the sink, I said, “I’ll be over tonight after you get home from the gym.”
She came to me and slid her arms around my waist. Looking up at me, she said, “We owe Josie a huge thank you. You do know it was her that pushed me to you that night, right?”
“Of course I know it was her. I knew from her eyes that day she faked her fall down the stairs that she had no intention of resting until she got what she wanted.”
“Did you ever think she would get what she wanted?” The hesitation in her voice killed me. Sophia was the kind of woman any man would go to the ends of the Earth for and yet she doubted herself.
I tipped her chin up. “I’m a stubborn asshole and would never have admitted it to Josie, but I wanted you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.”
The smile that lit her face was worth anything it cost me. “You might not say a lot, handsome, but the things you do say are priceless.”
On the way to the clubhouse, I realised I’d give her a million words if it made her happy, and I couldn’t say that about any other woman I’d ever met.
It was quiet when I arrived there. Most of the boys had left after me this morning and some had crashed right where they had their last drink. I ignored the sleeping bodies and headed into the kitchen to get more coffee. My head had almost stopped pounding and I figured one more coffee might do the trick.
As I waited for the kettle to boil, my phone buzzed with a text.
Danny: The trial has been delayed. Not sure how long, but giving you a heads up. Just so you know, though, there’s no way out of this, Michael. You will be called as a witness and everyone will learn your identity.
I didn’t send a text back. Slipping my phone back in my pocket, I thought about Bond. Everything seemed to be falling into place. The trial delay would work well for us with Blade’s plan for Bond this week. No Bond would equal no trial. And my identity would be long buried.
23
Sophia
“What was it like for you growing up with Mum?” Magan asked me as we sat getting pedicures the next afternoon.
Her question surprised me coming out of the blue like that. We’d spoken a little about Mum over the last six months, but the topic almost felt out of bounds most days. Like neither of us wanted to confront our hurt. I guessed with Mum now back in our lives, the hurt was front and centre anyway, so there was nothing holding us back from talking about it.
“I was so young when I lived with her that I adored her. She could do no wrong in my eyes back then. But thinking about it now, as an adult looking back, she struggled as a mother. She didn’t know how to deal with me when I was naughty. Instead of teaching me boundaries, she’d just send me to my bedroom and not talk to me. Her temper was so quick that she’d yell at me for the smallest thing, and I would then spend days trying to please her and make her happy with me again, because when she got mad at me, she held onto it for days, sometimes weeks.”
Magan’s eyes were wide. “I don’t remember her being like that with me.”
Telling the truth but at the same time not wanting to shatter my sister’s rose-coloured memories was a hard thing to do. To top it off, I felt awful because I wanted her to see how badly our mother had treated us. I almost wanted to shake the God’s honest truth into her, but I knew I could never be so cruel. Kids eventually grew up, and at some point their eyes would open and they would work the bad stuff out for themselves. That was one of the bitches of life. You couldn’t hide from the truth forever.
“Maybe by the time she had you, she’d grown a little bit. She was so young when she had me. I don’t know…no mother is perfect, and I don’t ever expect perfection from a person, but I feel like she didn’t try to do better,” I said.
“She said she’s going to try to be better now. And she still wants you to be part of her life. Do you think you ever will be?” The hope on Magan’s face made me pause for a moment. She had an almost desperate need for me to want to be part of their lives, and I so wanted to be a part of Magan’s life, but not our mother’s.
I can’t do it.
Not even for Magan.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Magan, but I can’t. Too much has happened for me to be able to let her back in. I don’t trust her…and without trust, I have nothing.” My voice wobbled, and as much as I tried not to let this affect me – because, goddamn it, she’d affected enough of my life already – this stuff hurt.
She took all of that in, and finally nodded. “Okay.” It was only one word, but I felt the emotion behind it, and I valued it for what it represented – her acceptance of my decision.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“So,” she said, changing the conversation, “what’s happening with lover boy?”
I grinned. “I’m sure he would love you calling him that. He’s so far from a boy, babe.”
“Good, I’ll be sure to call him that when I see him next.”
“He’s the kind of man I’ve waited ages for. He did my mowing the other day, fixed my light bulb and washer, and now he’s going to fix my patio.” I all but sighed.
