In Dreams

Page 30

Cooper was surprised at how comfortable it was to be around Austen. “Why don’t I hate you? I mean, shouldn’t we hate each other?” Cooper asked out loud, chuckling.
“I definitely shouldn’t hate you. I mean, I’m the one who’s dead, so how selfish would that be?” Austen responded.
Cooper nodded his head in agreement, “Pretty selfish. I thought I would want to punch you in the face or something, but I don’t.”
“Thanks for not busting up the goods.” Austen laughed as he grabbed at his chin.
“Weird.”
“What?” Austen asked.
“This whole thing. I don’t know. How I feel. How I felt before I met you. The fact that I’m meeting you. Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” Austen knew he had no right to feel anything but gratitude toward Cooper Donovan. He knew that Cooper had saved the love of his life. He also knew that Cooper was the only guy he could see loving her after he was gone. It was just like the last time.
“Is it hard for you?” Cooper wondered.
“To what? See you and Katherine together?”
“Yeah.”
Austen paused before answering. “Yes and no.” He took a breath. “I mean…I love her more than I can put into words, so all I want is for her to be happy. And if it’s not going to be me in her life, I’m really happy that it’s you.”
Cooper was surprised at Austen’s response. “Thanks. That means a lot,” he said, relieved.
“Is it hard for you?” Austen was curious.
“It was,” Cooper nodded. “All I knew was that every time she went to sleep, she was with someone I could never compete with. That realization was the hardest, I think.”
“But you know how much she loves you.”
“I also know it’s not the same,” Cooper spoke without disdain.
Austen nodded. “But it doesn’t have to be the same for it to mean the world to her. She loves you in ways she doesn’t love me.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I can feel it. And I see the way she looks at you.”
Cooper felt the blood rush out of his body. “I don’t...”
“Cooper!” Austen yelled, but it was too late.
Katherine woke and popped up in her bed. “Taylor. We need to go to Cooper right now. RIGHT NOW!”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I have a bad feeling. Take me there now, Taylor!” Kat threw back the covers and pushed at Taylor, not sure if she were trying to help her out of bed, or keep her in it.
“Okay, okay. Come on.” Taylor helped Kat get out of bed and they rushed toward Cooper’s room. Austen watched, unseen, from the hallway. Danny stopped the girls at the door.
“You can’t go in there, Kat,” Danny insisted, as he grabbed her arms and held her tightly.
She struggled and tried to push her way through the hockey player. “Let me in there, Danny! Cooper! Cooper, don’t you leave me!” she cried from the hallway.
A nurse walked by and admonished, “You have to keep it down, miss. Please.” She turned to Taylor. “And you really need to get her back to her room! She shouldn’t be out of bed.”
“Cooper!” Kat’s knees buckled under her weight. She heard the solid beep coming from the machine and knew what that sound meant. “Don’t leave me! You promised you wouldn’t leave me. Wake up! Cooper!”
Austen crouched behind her and held her in his arms. She couldn’t feel him, but he didn’t care. “Dammit, Cooper, where are you? I know you’re here! Cooper!” Austen yelled for him. He started running through the hallways looking for him. He shouted Cooper’s name around every corner. He had to be somewhere close and Austen was determined to find him. “Come on, Cooper, where are you?”
“Austen.” The voice was so weak he barely heard it. Austen looked down and saw Cooper sitting on the floor. “What’s going on?”
“You’re dying.” Austen spoke the words void of any emotion.
Cooper understood what happened and accepted it. He closed his eyes before Austen grabbed him and shook him. “Snap out of it, hockey boy!”
Cooper glared at him. “What’s your problem?”
“Right now YOU’RE my problem.”
Cooper tried to stand, but couldn’t. “What do you want from me?”
“I want you to fight! I know it’s easier to give in. I know everything in you is telling you to do just that. But you have to fight it, Cooper.”
“I don’t have the strength.”
“Do you want to die?” Austen grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him outside the hospital room where Katherine screamed and cried for him. “If I had a second chance, I’d give anything to be with that girl. And you still can. Don’t quit on her! She would never quit on you!” Austen’s eyes burned with rage and sorrow.
Seeing her and hearing Austen’s words lit a fire in his soul. “How do I do it?”
“That’s the spirit!” Austen got down in Cooper’s face. “You fight. When you feel that peaceful weakness...and your body begs you to give in to it, you don’t let it win.You have to stay strong. Use everything in your power to fight through it.”
“What if I can’t?” Cooper concentrated on breathing.
“You can! And you will. It won’t be easy, but you have to fight, Cooper.”
“Will you help me?” Cooper didn’t think he could do it alone.
“Of course.” Austen reached out a hand and helped Cooper to his feet.
“Do you feel that?” Austen asked, sensing the pull on Cooper’s soul.
“Yeah. It’s strong.”
“That’s the feeling you fight. Walk away from it. Don’t give in.” Austen was firm.
“It feels like it would be so much easier to not fight. It’s peaceful.”
“Of course it would be easier. It would be quitting! Look at Katherine, Cooper. Look at her. It will break her if you don’t pull through.” Austen knew she would be the only thing that could get him through this. He had to make sure Cooper concentrated on her and remembered why he wanted to be alive.
Cooper watched as the doctors frantically pounded on his chest, and he touched his own to see if he felt pain but there was none. Austen reminded him not give in and shouted Katherine’s name.
Suddenly, Cooper started to feel stronger and the machines’ beeping was slower and less strident. The medical staff congratulated each other in relief as Katherine rushed into the room and leaned over to plant kisses on his face. “Now it’s your turn to wake up, Cooper. You told me to wake up first, and I did. So now it’s your turn.” She turned and looked up at the ceiling before saying, “You said you’d help, Austen. You promised.”
Cooper squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could, but when he opened them he could still see Austen. “It didn’t work?” he asked, confused.
Austen smiled. “It worked. You’re still alive. You’re just not awake yet. We’ll get you there.”
Cooper felt his strength grow. “Thank you Austen. For everything.”
“You’d do the same for me.”
“I’d like to think so.”
Taylor walked Kat back to her room and insisted she rest. Katherine climbed back into her own bed and fell asleep quickly with the help of a sedative. She found herself in Cooper’s room with both of her loves.
“Austen! Cooper! What’s going on, why aren’t you awake yet?”
Austen hugged her and told her that things were taking a little longer than he had hoped. “Cooper’s body isn’t taking him back that easily.”
“Well…make it!” she insisted stubbornly.
“I’m trying, babe. I really am,” Cooper told her.
“You almost died. What happened?”
“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t have made it without Austen.” Katherine turned to look at Austen before mouthing the words ‘thank you’ to him.
She squeezed Cooper and reminded him, “You promised you’d wake up.”
“I know.”
“Then do it, already!” she demanded.
She looked around and saw she was alone in an empty room. Neither Cooper nor Austen were there, but she could still hear them talking. She yelled for them, but it was clear they couldn’t hear her. She ran around trying to find them, but no matter where she ran, the voices never got any closer.
So she stopped running and listened. “I keep feeling stronger,” Cooper explained to Austen.
“That’s good. You should be able to go back soon.”
“What will you do?”
“What I’ve always done. Watch over the people I care about and wait for them to join me here.” His gaze met Cooper’s. “But not for a long time,” he reassured him.
Cooper nodded his head. “Will you still dream with her?”
“Didn’t she tell you?” Austen asked. “Oh, right. You don’t know.”
“Know what?”
“Katherine told me goodbye. We’re not going to see each other any more.”
“You can’t do that.” Cooper was shocked.
Austen laughed. “What do you mean?”
“I just don’t think you guys should do that. I’m sure it’s not what she truly wants. And I’m fairly certain it’s not what you want.”
“We both know it’s for the best. She wasn’t free to truly live her life or be with you as long as I was a distraction.”
Cooper understood. “Look, I just think there ought to be some sort of middle ground or something? Can you honestly tell me you have the strength to stay out of her life forever?”
“I could never promise that.” Austen didn’t see the point in lying.
“Well. I just want you to know that I’m okay with you seeing her. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather she not fall head over heels for you again and ditch me,” he laughed, “but if there’s a way for you to still talk to her when she needs you or something, I think it would good for both of you…for all of us.”
Austen had been right about Cooper Donovan. If he couldn’t be with Katherine, then Cooper was definitely the right guy for her. “Thank you, Cooper. That really means a lot.”
“Thank you for everything you’ve done. You’re a hell of a guy. I understand why this was so hard for her.” He reached out and they shook hands like friends.
“Do you feel that?” Austen sensed the change.
“Is it time to go?”
They walked side by side toward Cooper’s room where his body lay. The moment Cooper got near it, he felt the pull. “I think I can go back now.”
Austen nodded. “It’s time. Next time you open your eyes, you should be back.”
“I promise I’ll take good care of her.”
“I know.”
Cooper opened his eyes and saw Danny sleeping awkwardly in the chair next to him. “Wake up, man.”