In The Afterlight
Page 45
I just wished like hell he hadn’t looked up at the mention of their parents. Because the moment Cole saw his face, he knew. And so did I.
Liam didn’t tell Cole, I thought, unable to understand it. Liam and Cole had both known their mother and stepfather had assumed fake names, Della and Jim Goodkind, when they went into hiding and left their home in North Carolina, but searching online and through phone books had brought up dead end after dead end. Cole should have been the first person he told after Zu told us how she’d met their mother. Liam should have stood up from the table and gone to find his brother immediately—
“You know!” This time Cole did hit him, the icy demeanor shattering as he landed a blow on Liam’s chin. “You lied to my goddamn face! Where are they?”
“Cut it out!” I shouted. “Stop it, both of you!”
Liam lurched toward him. I saw his arm pull back, the glint in Cole’s eyes, and shot forward. I slid between them just as Liam threw his punch, barely blocking it before it collided with Cole’s stomach. There was a single instant he seemed to strain against it, still struggling to land the hit—and then he came back to himself, to the moment. I saw it happen; the anguish and resentment released with a sharp inhalation and a horrified look. I had to grab a fistful of his shirt to prevent his immediate instinct toward a panicked escape. The other hand was thrown out toward Cole, to warn him off moving.
“Oh my God,” Liam said hoarsely, “why did you—that was so stupid—”
I unclenched my fingers, sliding my hand around to his back as I stepped in close to his side. He was still breathing hard, fighting to keep his emotions from boiling over again. I should have realized how quickly shame would work its way through him. He wasn’t a fighter, not by nature. Dammit—the thought of hurting anyone he cared about would do far more damage to him than Cole’s fist ever could have.
“Liam should be quartermaster,” I said.
Cole crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s—”
“A great idea,” I said. “You’re welcome. He does know where your parents are, and will happily fill you in on the details now.”
“As a trade?” Cole shook his head, giving his brother a dubious look. “Do you even know what a quartermaster is?”
“Of course I do,” Liam said between gritted teeth. “I know you try to forget, but I was part of the League for a few months.”
“It’s not a trade,” I said. “It’s because he’ll do the best job out of anyone here. It’s a role that needs to be filled, and fast. It’s because you’re brothers and you love each other, and should respect each other’s capabilities and focus your energy on the actual fight in front of us, not each other. Am I wrong?”
“Gem, it has never been more obvious than now that you’re an only child. The joys of siblinghood have never played well with logic.”
It was a huge job to track our supplies and bear the responsibility for figuring out how to bring new ones in; I would have stopped to second-guess the decision if I hadn’t seen with my own eyes that he could manage it.
“Cole,” I said softly, making Liam tense all over again. “He’s already been doing it.”
“It’s not a matter of whether or not he can do it, but if he deserves it,” Cole fired back. “He disobeyed a direct order not to leave the premises and he acted without permission.”
“Oh, right, I forgot, you elected yourself leader,” Liam said, and the ugliness in his voice made me actually cringe. “So glad we got a vote on that. What, were you afraid someone would question why you had any qualifications for the job? What you knew about us and our lives? Or was that another decision the two of you made and kept from the rest of us, hoping we’d all just nod and trail behind you like little mice?”
I stepped away from him, stung more by his tone than his words. Cole had the opposite response—he came closer, stepping right up into his brother’s face. To his credit, Liam didn’t flinch. Not until Cole said, “My qualifications? Try not getting a hundred and five kids killed with a naively planned and poorly executed escape attempt from a camp that wasn’t even that bad in the first place.”
“Out of line,” I warned Cole, feeling my own temper flare now. “The fact that you consider any camp to be ‘not even that bad’ shows you have no idea what you’re talking about. The two of you—”
“You want to punish me,” Liam cut me off, pushing me back from where I’d stepped between them. A wash of furious red worked its way up his neck to his face. Both he and his voice were shaking. “Fine. Name it. If you want to throw your weight around, just do it. I’m done with you wasting my time.”
I sent a sharp look of warning to Cole, but he was already saying, “Clean the bathrooms. With bleach.”
I’d seen Cole wear a smirk countless times at this point, but I’d never seen it on Liam’s face. That baiting, haughty look. “It’s already done.”
“Clear out the backup in the sewage system.”
“Already done.”
“Laundry. A month. By yourself.”
“You let them steal all of the sheets and towels,” Liam said, “in case you managed to forget.”
Cole released a loud breath through his nostrils, his eyes narrowing. Something clearly clicked, because his mouth tensed into a tight-lipped smile. “Then you can clean out and organize the garage.”
Liam didn’t tell Cole, I thought, unable to understand it. Liam and Cole had both known their mother and stepfather had assumed fake names, Della and Jim Goodkind, when they went into hiding and left their home in North Carolina, but searching online and through phone books had brought up dead end after dead end. Cole should have been the first person he told after Zu told us how she’d met their mother. Liam should have stood up from the table and gone to find his brother immediately—
“You know!” This time Cole did hit him, the icy demeanor shattering as he landed a blow on Liam’s chin. “You lied to my goddamn face! Where are they?”
“Cut it out!” I shouted. “Stop it, both of you!”
Liam lurched toward him. I saw his arm pull back, the glint in Cole’s eyes, and shot forward. I slid between them just as Liam threw his punch, barely blocking it before it collided with Cole’s stomach. There was a single instant he seemed to strain against it, still struggling to land the hit—and then he came back to himself, to the moment. I saw it happen; the anguish and resentment released with a sharp inhalation and a horrified look. I had to grab a fistful of his shirt to prevent his immediate instinct toward a panicked escape. The other hand was thrown out toward Cole, to warn him off moving.
“Oh my God,” Liam said hoarsely, “why did you—that was so stupid—”
I unclenched my fingers, sliding my hand around to his back as I stepped in close to his side. He was still breathing hard, fighting to keep his emotions from boiling over again. I should have realized how quickly shame would work its way through him. He wasn’t a fighter, not by nature. Dammit—the thought of hurting anyone he cared about would do far more damage to him than Cole’s fist ever could have.
“Liam should be quartermaster,” I said.
Cole crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s—”
“A great idea,” I said. “You’re welcome. He does know where your parents are, and will happily fill you in on the details now.”
“As a trade?” Cole shook his head, giving his brother a dubious look. “Do you even know what a quartermaster is?”
“Of course I do,” Liam said between gritted teeth. “I know you try to forget, but I was part of the League for a few months.”
“It’s not a trade,” I said. “It’s because he’ll do the best job out of anyone here. It’s a role that needs to be filled, and fast. It’s because you’re brothers and you love each other, and should respect each other’s capabilities and focus your energy on the actual fight in front of us, not each other. Am I wrong?”
“Gem, it has never been more obvious than now that you’re an only child. The joys of siblinghood have never played well with logic.”
It was a huge job to track our supplies and bear the responsibility for figuring out how to bring new ones in; I would have stopped to second-guess the decision if I hadn’t seen with my own eyes that he could manage it.
“Cole,” I said softly, making Liam tense all over again. “He’s already been doing it.”
“It’s not a matter of whether or not he can do it, but if he deserves it,” Cole fired back. “He disobeyed a direct order not to leave the premises and he acted without permission.”
“Oh, right, I forgot, you elected yourself leader,” Liam said, and the ugliness in his voice made me actually cringe. “So glad we got a vote on that. What, were you afraid someone would question why you had any qualifications for the job? What you knew about us and our lives? Or was that another decision the two of you made and kept from the rest of us, hoping we’d all just nod and trail behind you like little mice?”
I stepped away from him, stung more by his tone than his words. Cole had the opposite response—he came closer, stepping right up into his brother’s face. To his credit, Liam didn’t flinch. Not until Cole said, “My qualifications? Try not getting a hundred and five kids killed with a naively planned and poorly executed escape attempt from a camp that wasn’t even that bad in the first place.”
“Out of line,” I warned Cole, feeling my own temper flare now. “The fact that you consider any camp to be ‘not even that bad’ shows you have no idea what you’re talking about. The two of you—”
“You want to punish me,” Liam cut me off, pushing me back from where I’d stepped between them. A wash of furious red worked its way up his neck to his face. Both he and his voice were shaking. “Fine. Name it. If you want to throw your weight around, just do it. I’m done with you wasting my time.”
I sent a sharp look of warning to Cole, but he was already saying, “Clean the bathrooms. With bleach.”
I’d seen Cole wear a smirk countless times at this point, but I’d never seen it on Liam’s face. That baiting, haughty look. “It’s already done.”
“Clear out the backup in the sewage system.”
“Already done.”
“Laundry. A month. By yourself.”
“You let them steal all of the sheets and towels,” Liam said, “in case you managed to forget.”
Cole released a loud breath through his nostrils, his eyes narrowing. Something clearly clicked, because his mouth tensed into a tight-lipped smile. “Then you can clean out and organize the garage.”
