In the Crease
Page 101
Wren could hear the hostility in her voice. It was expected, but then, Wren sort of thought Shanna would have hit her with it a little later in their stupid lunch date. “That’s not true. Mom said you are decorating for her.”
She nodded. “That’s for your mom because, for the longest time, she was my second mom. But then, that just changed.”
Wren slowly looked down at the table. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t sit and deal with the borderline hostility in Shanna's tone. Yeah, she was good at ignoring shit, but she wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, especially when it was her fault they were a mess. “So, we’re doing this now?”
“Doing what?”
Wren looked back up. “It’s obvious that you don’t want to talk about life. You want to know why I dropped you like a bad habit, and that’s understandable,” she said as strong as she could as she met Wren’s gaze. “And the answer is I got pregnant, and I knew you’d judge me for my floozy-ish lifestyle.”
Shanna’s eyes narrowed as she held Wren’s gaze. “How are you a floozy if you’re married to the guy?”
Swallowing hard, Wren didn’t want to lie, but she couldn’t tell Shanna about Bradley. There was no way in hell. If she was having a hard time telling Jensen, who she knew would love her no matter what, there was no way she could tell Shanna. “We hooked up, and I got pregnant. I didn’t tell him until about a month and a half ago. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes.”
Shanna nodded slowly. “So you kept it from everyone? No one knew?”
Wren licked her lips. “Yeah, no one knew until I told Jensen.”
“And so you stopped talking to me because you assumed I would judge you?”
“I didn’t assume anything, I knew you would. You wanted me to be like you, settle down, have kids, and get married, but that wasn’t what I wanted—”
“But look at you now,” she pointed out. “And you seem happy.”
Wren’s eyes narrowed. “I said it wasn’t what I wanted. Things are different now. I love Jensen, I love my son, and I’m happy. But I knew you wouldn’t support me, and you would get pissy with me because I wouldn’t know what I wanted to do.”
“Because you never know what you want to do. You let your need for attention take over, and you fuck whatever you see. It’s sad because you’re a beautiful girl, a good girl, smart, but you treat yourself like a slab of meat and get fucked by assholes.”
Too bad the main asshole was Shanna’s brother, but Wren didn’t say that. “You need to put all that in past tense.”
Shanna’s brows pulled together. “What?”
“All of that isn’t true anymore. You’re right, I did do all that. But I haven’t since I got pregnant, and the reason why it took me so long to tell Jensen is because I knew I would officially be done with that life, and I wasn’t ready to accept that. That’s all changed now. I’ll be the first to tell you that not everyone changes, but I feel I have. Or maybe Jensen just loves me the way I need to make myself better. But I’m proud of that because, you’re right, I didn’t think highly of myself. Due to my need to be loved, I was pathetic. But now, after knowing what real love is, I’m good. I love who I am because of the man who loves me.”
Inhaling deeply, Shanna held her hands out. “That’s all I wanted for you.”
“Well, at the time, I didn’t want to hear that. I wanted to figure it out on my own, but I couldn’t. I needed Jensen.” Wren’s heart sang in her chest, saying the words she had been thinking for so long. She wished Jensen were there so he could hear her because she was sure he wouldn’t believe her when she told him later. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Shanna, for more than I can ever tell you. But I had to do what I did, for me. And call it selfish, but I couldn’t take what I knew you’d give me.”
Shanna looked down, running her tongue along her teeth as she shook her head. “I wouldn’t have been that bad. I would have said that you needed to settle down—”
“But I didn’t want to hear that.”
“Jensen is a wonderful guy, and I would have pushed—”
With her heart throbbing in her throat, Wren couldn’t take it anymore. The guilt was overpowering.
“I lied.” When Wren said it, her own eyes widened, not expecting herself to say that.
What the hell was she doing?
“What?”
“I lied about Jensen, and there is a chance you could tell everyone, but I’ll deny it.”
Shanna’s face scrunched up. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Jensen isn’t my baby’s biological father. I know who the father is, but he told me to get an abortion after throwing a check at me. And when I refused, he told me I was stupid and he was done with me.”
“Wren,” Shanna gasped, reaching out to take her hands. “What in the world? Who is it?”
Your brother.
“It doesn’t matter. He didn’t want my child or me, and that’s the biggest reason I didn’t tell you or my mom or anyone. I was trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do because of my inheritance and all that—”
“Jesus, I forgot about that inheritance of yours. Such a stupid stipulation.”
“Yeah, so, no, I shouldn’t have cut you out. I shouldn’t have cut anyone out, really, but I was embarrassed, I was scared, and I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do.” When her eyes started to well up with tears, she looked down at the table as her mouth twitched, trying to hold back the sob that wanted to escape. “It took Jensen coming into my life, steamrolling me into a marriage I asked for, even though I didn’t want it. He changed everything and made me realize I was worth a man like him, a love like he could give me, and a chance for my son to have a father who would love him as his own. It took Jensen. Only Jensen to make me finally love myself, and he’s the reason I’m here. He knew I owed it to you to explain myself and to apologize because, Shanna, I’m sorry. I am. Really sorry.”
When Wren looked up, tears rolling down her cheeks, she found that Shanna was in tears herself. Holding her gaze, Wren saw the girl who had been her constant companion growing up. Her best friend and not the hostile girl Wren had done wrong.
She nodded. “That’s for your mom because, for the longest time, she was my second mom. But then, that just changed.”
Wren slowly looked down at the table. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t sit and deal with the borderline hostility in Shanna's tone. Yeah, she was good at ignoring shit, but she wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, especially when it was her fault they were a mess. “So, we’re doing this now?”
“Doing what?”
Wren looked back up. “It’s obvious that you don’t want to talk about life. You want to know why I dropped you like a bad habit, and that’s understandable,” she said as strong as she could as she met Wren’s gaze. “And the answer is I got pregnant, and I knew you’d judge me for my floozy-ish lifestyle.”
Shanna’s eyes narrowed as she held Wren’s gaze. “How are you a floozy if you’re married to the guy?”
Swallowing hard, Wren didn’t want to lie, but she couldn’t tell Shanna about Bradley. There was no way in hell. If she was having a hard time telling Jensen, who she knew would love her no matter what, there was no way she could tell Shanna. “We hooked up, and I got pregnant. I didn’t tell him until about a month and a half ago. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes.”
Shanna nodded slowly. “So you kept it from everyone? No one knew?”
Wren licked her lips. “Yeah, no one knew until I told Jensen.”
“And so you stopped talking to me because you assumed I would judge you?”
“I didn’t assume anything, I knew you would. You wanted me to be like you, settle down, have kids, and get married, but that wasn’t what I wanted—”
“But look at you now,” she pointed out. “And you seem happy.”
Wren’s eyes narrowed. “I said it wasn’t what I wanted. Things are different now. I love Jensen, I love my son, and I’m happy. But I knew you wouldn’t support me, and you would get pissy with me because I wouldn’t know what I wanted to do.”
“Because you never know what you want to do. You let your need for attention take over, and you fuck whatever you see. It’s sad because you’re a beautiful girl, a good girl, smart, but you treat yourself like a slab of meat and get fucked by assholes.”
Too bad the main asshole was Shanna’s brother, but Wren didn’t say that. “You need to put all that in past tense.”
Shanna’s brows pulled together. “What?”
“All of that isn’t true anymore. You’re right, I did do all that. But I haven’t since I got pregnant, and the reason why it took me so long to tell Jensen is because I knew I would officially be done with that life, and I wasn’t ready to accept that. That’s all changed now. I’ll be the first to tell you that not everyone changes, but I feel I have. Or maybe Jensen just loves me the way I need to make myself better. But I’m proud of that because, you’re right, I didn’t think highly of myself. Due to my need to be loved, I was pathetic. But now, after knowing what real love is, I’m good. I love who I am because of the man who loves me.”
Inhaling deeply, Shanna held her hands out. “That’s all I wanted for you.”
“Well, at the time, I didn’t want to hear that. I wanted to figure it out on my own, but I couldn’t. I needed Jensen.” Wren’s heart sang in her chest, saying the words she had been thinking for so long. She wished Jensen were there so he could hear her because she was sure he wouldn’t believe her when she told him later. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Shanna, for more than I can ever tell you. But I had to do what I did, for me. And call it selfish, but I couldn’t take what I knew you’d give me.”
Shanna looked down, running her tongue along her teeth as she shook her head. “I wouldn’t have been that bad. I would have said that you needed to settle down—”
“But I didn’t want to hear that.”
“Jensen is a wonderful guy, and I would have pushed—”
With her heart throbbing in her throat, Wren couldn’t take it anymore. The guilt was overpowering.
“I lied.” When Wren said it, her own eyes widened, not expecting herself to say that.
What the hell was she doing?
“What?”
“I lied about Jensen, and there is a chance you could tell everyone, but I’ll deny it.”
Shanna’s face scrunched up. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Jensen isn’t my baby’s biological father. I know who the father is, but he told me to get an abortion after throwing a check at me. And when I refused, he told me I was stupid and he was done with me.”
“Wren,” Shanna gasped, reaching out to take her hands. “What in the world? Who is it?”
Your brother.
“It doesn’t matter. He didn’t want my child or me, and that’s the biggest reason I didn’t tell you or my mom or anyone. I was trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do because of my inheritance and all that—”
“Jesus, I forgot about that inheritance of yours. Such a stupid stipulation.”
“Yeah, so, no, I shouldn’t have cut you out. I shouldn’t have cut anyone out, really, but I was embarrassed, I was scared, and I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do.” When her eyes started to well up with tears, she looked down at the table as her mouth twitched, trying to hold back the sob that wanted to escape. “It took Jensen coming into my life, steamrolling me into a marriage I asked for, even though I didn’t want it. He changed everything and made me realize I was worth a man like him, a love like he could give me, and a chance for my son to have a father who would love him as his own. It took Jensen. Only Jensen to make me finally love myself, and he’s the reason I’m here. He knew I owed it to you to explain myself and to apologize because, Shanna, I’m sorry. I am. Really sorry.”
When Wren looked up, tears rolling down her cheeks, she found that Shanna was in tears herself. Holding her gaze, Wren saw the girl who had been her constant companion growing up. Her best friend and not the hostile girl Wren had done wrong.
