In the Crease
Page 23
Wren’s brow rose. “He, what?”
“Nothing. Listen, don’t hurt my boy, okay? Please.”
“I don’t want to. You forget he’s my boy too. I care for him like you guys do.”
“I know, so consider that too. Because if it did end, he’d do everything to make sure you guy’s relationship stayed intact. Even if it hurt him. Not just for you, but for the kid.”
“That’s what I just don’t understand. It’s not his place to love my kid.”
“But why have a kid grow up without a dad when there is a man who wants to take the position?”
“Because it’s not fair to him!”
“Or you’re waiting for the real dad?”
She laughed, hard. “No. Not even kind of.”
“Then, what’s the problem? If it were me, I’d marry him.”
She blinked. “Not sure how to take that.”
“Take it whatever way you want, just don’t hurt him.”
“I don’t want to, Jo, that’s what I’m saying! How do I do this without hurting him?”
“How do you know you’re going to hurt him?”
“Because I don’t want what he wants.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I do!”
“How, Wrenny? Have you ever had a man really be there for you the way Jensen is?”
She paused, her heart jumping up into her throat because she hadn’t. Never. Jensen was there for her more than Vaughn ever was. No matter what she needed, Jensen would be there. He was good like that. So much like Wells, Vaughn was a flighty one, but Jensen, he was there whenever she needed him. There wasn’t a time she could remember when she had called him for a ride after a night of drinking that he didn’t show up. Even when he had just gotten married and had just moved to Minnesota, he still came home to help move her in to her new apartment with Wells. Whenever anyone needed him, he was there.
Clearing her throat, she admitted, “No.”
“Exactly.”
She bit her lip, looking up at her ceiling to keep her tears at bay. “So you think I should do it?”
“Hell no. I know for a fact that you’re gonna break the dude. Because no matter how much I want to believe you’ll try, you won’t fully give yourself to the guy, and in the end, he’s gonna be crushed.”
Not what she wanted to hear. “Whatever, Jo. It’s not like he loves me. You’re acting as if he does.” When he didn’t answer her, she paused. “Right?”
“That is not my place to say.”
“When has anything not been your fucking place to say?” she snapped back, rolling her eyes. “And please, Jensen loves me? That’s as preposterous as it sounds. It’s Jensen Monroe, he can date supermodels.”
“But instead, he asked you to marry him,” Vaughn said simply. “So what do you think that means?”
Biting the inside of her cheek, she shrugged because she didn’t want to accept what Vaughn was implying. That was crazy. They were friends. Close friends. Sure, she thought Jensen was hot, but she didn’t love the guy like that. She didn’t love anyone. Well, that was a lie, but the last time she fell for some douche, he knocked her up and ran, so yeah, she wasn’t stupid. Was she?
Man, maybe she was in need of therapy.
Pinching the bridge of her nose once more, she muttered, “That he’s a nice guy?”
“Yeah, go with that.”
“Jo!”
“Wren!”
“I don’t know what to do, and I…I’m… Fuck, I’m freaking out.”
“Well,” he said, clearing his throat, and she wanted to wring his neck. He was always so blasé about everything except when it had to do with him. “You know, Emma, Jensen’s mom—”
“I know who that is.”
“Just saying. But she always told me to listen to my heart. So maybe try that.”
“Has that ever worked for you?”
“Well, my heart didn’t start talking until Brie came along, so I guess it does.”
If she weren’t so annoyed and didn’t want to kill Vaughn, she would have swooned. Instead, though, she grumbled, “Fine. I’ll try that.”
“Good luck finding it in that black mass of a soul of yours.”
“I hate you, Vaughn Johansson. So damn much.”
“Love you too, sugar!”
Hanging up the phone, she threw it down before shaking her head and letting it fall to her desk. It landed with a loud thunk that echoed through her office. She couldn’t breathe since her kid was crushing her lungs, but she really didn’t care. Staring at her belly, she slowly shook her head.
“Well, kiddo, Mommy is in a pickle.”
Unfortunately, her stomach didn’t talk back with wise, amazing advice.
“I’d be stupid not to do it. But I’m scared. I don’t want either of us to get hurt, and if I can’t get over my own issues, I’ll do exactly that. But he’ll act like it’s no big deal. He’ll treat me the way he does now, and he’d love you. He’d love you so much. I’ve seen him with kids. I’ve seen the way his eyes light up and how he basically falls to the ground to play with them. He’s always wanted a big family because his was so small.” Moving her hands along her stomach, she sat up, leaning back in the chair as tears started to fall down her face. She had no clue what to do, yet a grin came over her face as her hands moved up and down her belly. “He’s a good man, kiddo. Good heart, a beautiful, amazing family, and I’ve known him my whole life. So there really isn’t a question, is there? I should say yes. Right?”
Still nothing. But then, she knew she was on her own. Though, if she did this, she wouldn’t be on her own any longer. Jensen would stand beside her. Which was weird but kind of nice too. But still, weird. Plus, the whole making love thing was still freaking her out. She was a thick girl, but now, now she was really a little fat, and she wasn’t sure how he would feel about that. What if he didn’t like her body? What if he decided he couldn’t do this? What if…
Stop, Wren.
It’s Jensen.
Even so, she had no clue what the fuck she was going to do.
Man, she really needed her mommy.
“Nothing. Listen, don’t hurt my boy, okay? Please.”
“I don’t want to. You forget he’s my boy too. I care for him like you guys do.”
“I know, so consider that too. Because if it did end, he’d do everything to make sure you guy’s relationship stayed intact. Even if it hurt him. Not just for you, but for the kid.”
“That’s what I just don’t understand. It’s not his place to love my kid.”
“But why have a kid grow up without a dad when there is a man who wants to take the position?”
“Because it’s not fair to him!”
“Or you’re waiting for the real dad?”
She laughed, hard. “No. Not even kind of.”
“Then, what’s the problem? If it were me, I’d marry him.”
She blinked. “Not sure how to take that.”
“Take it whatever way you want, just don’t hurt him.”
“I don’t want to, Jo, that’s what I’m saying! How do I do this without hurting him?”
“How do you know you’re going to hurt him?”
“Because I don’t want what he wants.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I do!”
“How, Wrenny? Have you ever had a man really be there for you the way Jensen is?”
She paused, her heart jumping up into her throat because she hadn’t. Never. Jensen was there for her more than Vaughn ever was. No matter what she needed, Jensen would be there. He was good like that. So much like Wells, Vaughn was a flighty one, but Jensen, he was there whenever she needed him. There wasn’t a time she could remember when she had called him for a ride after a night of drinking that he didn’t show up. Even when he had just gotten married and had just moved to Minnesota, he still came home to help move her in to her new apartment with Wells. Whenever anyone needed him, he was there.
Clearing her throat, she admitted, “No.”
“Exactly.”
She bit her lip, looking up at her ceiling to keep her tears at bay. “So you think I should do it?”
“Hell no. I know for a fact that you’re gonna break the dude. Because no matter how much I want to believe you’ll try, you won’t fully give yourself to the guy, and in the end, he’s gonna be crushed.”
Not what she wanted to hear. “Whatever, Jo. It’s not like he loves me. You’re acting as if he does.” When he didn’t answer her, she paused. “Right?”
“That is not my place to say.”
“When has anything not been your fucking place to say?” she snapped back, rolling her eyes. “And please, Jensen loves me? That’s as preposterous as it sounds. It’s Jensen Monroe, he can date supermodels.”
“But instead, he asked you to marry him,” Vaughn said simply. “So what do you think that means?”
Biting the inside of her cheek, she shrugged because she didn’t want to accept what Vaughn was implying. That was crazy. They were friends. Close friends. Sure, she thought Jensen was hot, but she didn’t love the guy like that. She didn’t love anyone. Well, that was a lie, but the last time she fell for some douche, he knocked her up and ran, so yeah, she wasn’t stupid. Was she?
Man, maybe she was in need of therapy.
Pinching the bridge of her nose once more, she muttered, “That he’s a nice guy?”
“Yeah, go with that.”
“Jo!”
“Wren!”
“I don’t know what to do, and I…I’m… Fuck, I’m freaking out.”
“Well,” he said, clearing his throat, and she wanted to wring his neck. He was always so blasé about everything except when it had to do with him. “You know, Emma, Jensen’s mom—”
“I know who that is.”
“Just saying. But she always told me to listen to my heart. So maybe try that.”
“Has that ever worked for you?”
“Well, my heart didn’t start talking until Brie came along, so I guess it does.”
If she weren’t so annoyed and didn’t want to kill Vaughn, she would have swooned. Instead, though, she grumbled, “Fine. I’ll try that.”
“Good luck finding it in that black mass of a soul of yours.”
“I hate you, Vaughn Johansson. So damn much.”
“Love you too, sugar!”
Hanging up the phone, she threw it down before shaking her head and letting it fall to her desk. It landed with a loud thunk that echoed through her office. She couldn’t breathe since her kid was crushing her lungs, but she really didn’t care. Staring at her belly, she slowly shook her head.
“Well, kiddo, Mommy is in a pickle.”
Unfortunately, her stomach didn’t talk back with wise, amazing advice.
“I’d be stupid not to do it. But I’m scared. I don’t want either of us to get hurt, and if I can’t get over my own issues, I’ll do exactly that. But he’ll act like it’s no big deal. He’ll treat me the way he does now, and he’d love you. He’d love you so much. I’ve seen him with kids. I’ve seen the way his eyes light up and how he basically falls to the ground to play with them. He’s always wanted a big family because his was so small.” Moving her hands along her stomach, she sat up, leaning back in the chair as tears started to fall down her face. She had no clue what to do, yet a grin came over her face as her hands moved up and down her belly. “He’s a good man, kiddo. Good heart, a beautiful, amazing family, and I’ve known him my whole life. So there really isn’t a question, is there? I should say yes. Right?”
Still nothing. But then, she knew she was on her own. Though, if she did this, she wouldn’t be on her own any longer. Jensen would stand beside her. Which was weird but kind of nice too. But still, weird. Plus, the whole making love thing was still freaking her out. She was a thick girl, but now, now she was really a little fat, and she wasn’t sure how he would feel about that. What if he didn’t like her body? What if he decided he couldn’t do this? What if…
Stop, Wren.
It’s Jensen.
Even so, she had no clue what the fuck she was going to do.
Man, she really needed her mommy.