In the Crease
Page 39
“Guess not.”
“Whatever.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Shaking her head, she slammed the phone down before dropping her face in her hands and letting out a sob that filled her office. “What a fucking jerk.”
He had just crossed the line. There were no two ways about it, he did. She didn’t care that he was trying to be there for Jensen, or he was protective or whatever, because he was a jerk. God, she hated crying. It made her feel weak, pathetic, but her brother’s words stung. They stung so badly she swore she felt the burn on her skin as if it were real. She didn’t get it. Why was she always the bad guy? Because she liked to fuck around? Because she wasn’t emotionally attached to anyone but Wells and her parents? Why was she like that? The answer was clear. Because she was never good enough.
Growing up, it was always Wells who was the center of attention. He was the next Winston Lemiere on the ice. And at the time, Wells and their dad were best friends. Then Vaughn came along, and everyone loved him. Then Jensen, the golden boy. Wren was always on the back burner. She didn’t play hockey, she didn’t do sports, and she sure as hell didn’t bake, so what did her parents have to talk to her about? They didn’t care about the things she did, the books she read, or the movies she watched. No, she was just there. Existing. Even so, she knew they loved her. She did… But she never felt she mattered. She didn’t have purpose in their eyes.
They didn’t love her for who she was; they loved her because they had to.
Or at least, that’s how she felt.
Which was shitty, and the therapist part of her knew she probably needed to investigate it a bit more, but hadn’t she done that enough? When she thought about it too much, she’d usually get annoyed and then go find someone to love her for the night. The problem with that method was that, whoever the lucky guy was, he usually turned out to be a Grade A jackass. Nasty cycle. Disgusting. And one that was going to stop.
At least for six months.
Which really meant a year.
Which, really, meant she had to learn to cope.
Right?
Was she grasping at straws?
Hmm. Putting that thought on the back burner, she looked out at her empty office and wiped her face. She couldn’t believe the way Wells had acted, and she almost called her mom to tell on him. But knowing her mom, she’d probably question her the same. Who knew? Fucking hell, this was a mess.
When her phone started ringing, she jumped in surprise before she realized it was her cell. Rifling through the papers cluttering her desk since the ringtone indicated it wasn’t any of her family, she found her cell beside her pen cup and saw that it was Jensen.
Crap on a cracker.
Clearing her throat, she wiped her face once more and answered, “Hey!”
He paused. “What’s wrong?”
She made a face at the complete emptiness of her office that matched her soul, apparently. “Huh? Nothing.”
“Liar, you don’t answer the phone like that. Are you standing me up?”
Her shoulders fell. “Not at all. Promise.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Her lip wobbled, and she let out a small sob. “My brother is a jerk.”
He didn’t even hesitate. “Do you want me to come to the office?”
“No, it’s fine. He’s just a douche.”
“What did he say?”
“What didn’t he say?” she cried, wiping her face as she shook her head. “I’m seriously okay. I’m just overemotional, and he hurt my feelings.”
“Want me to kick his ass?”
That made her smile. “Will you?”
“Sure will. Deck him right in the chest.”
“You’re too sweet.”
“Say the word.”
She was tempted. “No, it’s fine.”
“Okay, well, stop crying. Don’t let it ruin the day, okay?”
She swallowed hard. Ruin the day, because they were getting married, and that was supposed to be happy. Her tears came faster. “Okay.”
“Good, are you sure you’re okay?”
She nodded, though he obviously couldn’t see her. “Yeah, I’m fine. Promise.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. Are you okay? Are you standing me up?”
He laughed, and she could just imagine him shaking his head, his mouth turned up in a charming grin. “Never. I was actually calling to see what you were wearing so that I could match you.”
She made a face as she looked down. “I’m wearing a yellow tunic and jeans.”
“Jeans?”
She paused. “Yes.”
“Jeans make sense,” he said, but he sounded very annoyed. “We’re not getting married or anything.”
She bit her lip. “I can see now that the jeans were a bad choice.”
“Just a bit, but it’s fine. My mom won’t care.”
“Yes, she will.”
“She will, but it’s cool. I mean, you’re at work, it’s fine.”
It wasn’t fine at all, not even a little bit. God, she was a bitch. A soulless fucking bitch. “I’ll stop by… Okay, wait. I can’t stop…shit,” she said when she pulled up her schedule.
“It’s fine, Wren, I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”
Yup, she was scum. She heard it in his voice. And then she heard Wells taunting her the way he did when he was right, back when they were younger. Like a dog with its tail between her legs, she muttered, “Okay.”
“Oh, did your doorman say if the movers showed up?”
She closed her eyes since that was another thing that had come as a shock. “Yeah, they did, and I told you not to pay for that.”
“I want to, okay?”
“Fine. I don’t like it, though.”
“Noted, see you soon.”
“Bye,” she said, hanging up and then shaking her head. “I’m complete shit. Wells is right, and I’m dumb. Damn it.”
Clicking through her schedule, her heart was in her throat as she got madder and madder with each passing second. She didn’t want to be what Wells had said. She wasn’t using Jensen; she wouldn’t do that. She wasn’t that person. She had made it clear what her intentions were at the beginning, Jensen was the one who made it more, but she couldn’t tell Wells that. God, Wells made her so angry! But what if she was what he said? She almost turned the movers away that morning. She hadn’t even thought to get dressed up for her wedding day. All Jensen wanted was a nice picture for his mom, and he’d even offered to beat up her brother.
“Whatever.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Shaking her head, she slammed the phone down before dropping her face in her hands and letting out a sob that filled her office. “What a fucking jerk.”
He had just crossed the line. There were no two ways about it, he did. She didn’t care that he was trying to be there for Jensen, or he was protective or whatever, because he was a jerk. God, she hated crying. It made her feel weak, pathetic, but her brother’s words stung. They stung so badly she swore she felt the burn on her skin as if it were real. She didn’t get it. Why was she always the bad guy? Because she liked to fuck around? Because she wasn’t emotionally attached to anyone but Wells and her parents? Why was she like that? The answer was clear. Because she was never good enough.
Growing up, it was always Wells who was the center of attention. He was the next Winston Lemiere on the ice. And at the time, Wells and their dad were best friends. Then Vaughn came along, and everyone loved him. Then Jensen, the golden boy. Wren was always on the back burner. She didn’t play hockey, she didn’t do sports, and she sure as hell didn’t bake, so what did her parents have to talk to her about? They didn’t care about the things she did, the books she read, or the movies she watched. No, she was just there. Existing. Even so, she knew they loved her. She did… But she never felt she mattered. She didn’t have purpose in their eyes.
They didn’t love her for who she was; they loved her because they had to.
Or at least, that’s how she felt.
Which was shitty, and the therapist part of her knew she probably needed to investigate it a bit more, but hadn’t she done that enough? When she thought about it too much, she’d usually get annoyed and then go find someone to love her for the night. The problem with that method was that, whoever the lucky guy was, he usually turned out to be a Grade A jackass. Nasty cycle. Disgusting. And one that was going to stop.
At least for six months.
Which really meant a year.
Which, really, meant she had to learn to cope.
Right?
Was she grasping at straws?
Hmm. Putting that thought on the back burner, she looked out at her empty office and wiped her face. She couldn’t believe the way Wells had acted, and she almost called her mom to tell on him. But knowing her mom, she’d probably question her the same. Who knew? Fucking hell, this was a mess.
When her phone started ringing, she jumped in surprise before she realized it was her cell. Rifling through the papers cluttering her desk since the ringtone indicated it wasn’t any of her family, she found her cell beside her pen cup and saw that it was Jensen.
Crap on a cracker.
Clearing her throat, she wiped her face once more and answered, “Hey!”
He paused. “What’s wrong?”
She made a face at the complete emptiness of her office that matched her soul, apparently. “Huh? Nothing.”
“Liar, you don’t answer the phone like that. Are you standing me up?”
Her shoulders fell. “Not at all. Promise.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Her lip wobbled, and she let out a small sob. “My brother is a jerk.”
He didn’t even hesitate. “Do you want me to come to the office?”
“No, it’s fine. He’s just a douche.”
“What did he say?”
“What didn’t he say?” she cried, wiping her face as she shook her head. “I’m seriously okay. I’m just overemotional, and he hurt my feelings.”
“Want me to kick his ass?”
That made her smile. “Will you?”
“Sure will. Deck him right in the chest.”
“You’re too sweet.”
“Say the word.”
She was tempted. “No, it’s fine.”
“Okay, well, stop crying. Don’t let it ruin the day, okay?”
She swallowed hard. Ruin the day, because they were getting married, and that was supposed to be happy. Her tears came faster. “Okay.”
“Good, are you sure you’re okay?”
She nodded, though he obviously couldn’t see her. “Yeah, I’m fine. Promise.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. Are you okay? Are you standing me up?”
He laughed, and she could just imagine him shaking his head, his mouth turned up in a charming grin. “Never. I was actually calling to see what you were wearing so that I could match you.”
She made a face as she looked down. “I’m wearing a yellow tunic and jeans.”
“Jeans?”
She paused. “Yes.”
“Jeans make sense,” he said, but he sounded very annoyed. “We’re not getting married or anything.”
She bit her lip. “I can see now that the jeans were a bad choice.”
“Just a bit, but it’s fine. My mom won’t care.”
“Yes, she will.”
“She will, but it’s cool. I mean, you’re at work, it’s fine.”
It wasn’t fine at all, not even a little bit. God, she was a bitch. A soulless fucking bitch. “I’ll stop by… Okay, wait. I can’t stop…shit,” she said when she pulled up her schedule.
“It’s fine, Wren, I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”
Yup, she was scum. She heard it in his voice. And then she heard Wells taunting her the way he did when he was right, back when they were younger. Like a dog with its tail between her legs, she muttered, “Okay.”
“Oh, did your doorman say if the movers showed up?”
She closed her eyes since that was another thing that had come as a shock. “Yeah, they did, and I told you not to pay for that.”
“I want to, okay?”
“Fine. I don’t like it, though.”
“Noted, see you soon.”
“Bye,” she said, hanging up and then shaking her head. “I’m complete shit. Wells is right, and I’m dumb. Damn it.”
Clicking through her schedule, her heart was in her throat as she got madder and madder with each passing second. She didn’t want to be what Wells had said. She wasn’t using Jensen; she wouldn’t do that. She wasn’t that person. She had made it clear what her intentions were at the beginning, Jensen was the one who made it more, but she couldn’t tell Wells that. God, Wells made her so angry! But what if she was what he said? She almost turned the movers away that morning. She hadn’t even thought to get dressed up for her wedding day. All Jensen wanted was a nice picture for his mom, and he’d even offered to beat up her brother.
