In This Life
Page 34
For the first time since my mother’s murder I felt like I could breathe, like I could relax. And when I stepped over the line and kissed Heather she didn’t discourage me. She kissed me right back. But no matter how many times we’d remain out there in each other’s arms until long after dusk she never let things go much further.
“Nash, this shouldn’t be happening.”
I wasn’t used to being turned down and I was growing frustrated. I ran a finger up her arm and felt triumph over the way she shivered at my touch.
“It’s not illegal, baby. I’m eighteen and school ends in a month.”
She was breathing hard, her resistance crumbling as my fingers snuck under her shirt, exploring her smooth skin. “That doesn’t make it right.”
I eased her back on the blanket and covered her with my body. “I want you Heather. You want me too.”
She closed her eyes. “Maybe.”
We didn’t have sex. We hovered around second base and never advanced.
Then one day I walked into the store to work a shift behind the register. I hated the store but I needed a part time paycheck and my dad insisted that I couldn’t get it anywhere else.
He was there. So was she. I saw them through the glass, standing close together and talking earnestly and it was weird. My dad was a good thirteen years older than Heather. Hawk Valley was a small town but I’d never even realized they knew each other. Heather threw her head back in laughter and I wondered what the fuck they were talking about that was so funny. The only thing they could possibly have in common was me and I hadn’t said a word to him about her.
“Nash!” Heather stopped smiling and seemed startled to see me. “I just stopped by to say hello. I haven’t been in here in so long.”
I looked around the store. “Not much to see.”
“Right.” She tossed her blonde hair over one shoulder and looked down. “I should get going. Bye Nash. It was nice catching up with you, Chris.”
“Good to see you, Heather,” my father answered and I saw the way his eyes lingered on her ass as she walked out the door. It made me want to puke.
“What was that about?” I demanded.
He was whistling. “What?”
“If you need a new conquest don’t look for one in Heather.”
My dad was amused. The bastard even grinned at me. “Sounds like someone has a crush.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“Forget it, son. She’s out of your league.”
“And you’re about a decade too old to be in hers.”
Sometimes he liked getting under my skin. This was one of those times. Maybe he thought of it as payback for all the times I’d gotten under his.
Chris Ryan smirked at me as if I was nothing more consequential than a first grader chasing the girl he liked with a bunch of dandelions in my hand. “You can’t compete with me, little boy. Don’t even try.”
“Go to hell.”
I stalked out with the sound of his laughter trailing behind me.
Heather started coming up with excuses about why she couldn’t meet. Graduation loomed so I had other things on my mind anyway. Besides, what was I supposed to do, pack her in my suitcase this fall and bring her Oregon with me? But still, I passed the front office more than I needed to just for the chance to receive a smile from her and felt my heart flex every time it happened.
My dad and I weren’t talking much but that had been the case for so long I wasn’t bothered. We were just trying to get through the next few months and put this experiment behind us. Someday things might be different between us. We just couldn’t live under the same roof together.
On Senior Ditch Day I made plans to go up to the mountains overnight with a bunch of my classmates. My dad even gave me his blessing and the keys to the family cabin up there. He just told me to keep the place in one piece if possible.
There were plenty of hot girls running around and I tried to get interested in them. But even when Amelia Horton started to suck me off as I leaned against a pine tree and smoked a cigarette I couldn’t keep my mind straight. I didn’t want to fuck some random girl. I still wanted Heather. There wasn’t love and marriage on my mind but I felt a connection with her that I hadn’t found with the girls my own age. That had to mean something.
I left the senior class to do whatever they wanted and drove back down to Hawk Valley after midnight. But Heather didn’t answer when I called and there were no lights on in her apartment. The idea of returning to the party was depressing. I figured I’d be better off just going home to crash in my own bed and jerk off to my fantasies.
I opened and closed the front door with care, not really caring to have any kind of interaction with my father. He might be out drinking away pieces of his liver or he might be snoring upstairs. Either way I just wanted to be left alone.
I didn’t hear any noise until I was almost at the top of the stairs.
There was moaning, the sound of a woman in pain. Or the opposite of pain…
They’d left the light on and hadn’t bothered to shut the door. She was flat on her back on the bed, shirt and bra pushed all the way up so her perky tits were bare, along with the rest of her. Her legs were spread wide and her body arched, rising and falling to the rhythm of my father’s tongue in her pussy.
“Oh god, Chris. Oh god!”
His shirt was off and he was kneeling, his face buried between her legs while Heather moaned his name and clutched the bed sheets as he got her to come.
I was frozen, staring at the woman I had wanted, the woman I had trusted, getting her pussy licked by the last man on earth I could stand to see her with.
They didn’t hear me. They didn’t see me. They didn’t know anything was wrong until I picked up an antique crystal decanter that had belonged to my grandparents and threw it against the far wall, shattering it into a thousand unfixable pieces.
“Nash!”
Heather wasn’t moaning with pleasure anymore. She was gasping with horror, struggling to cover her body as if it made any fucking difference. I couldn’t look at her. I didn’t want to hurt her. I just wanted to never ever see her fucking face again.
“Get out.”
She cried. “Nash I’m sorry.”
“GET THE FUCK OUT!”
My father stood. He was pale, wide-eyed. He swallowed, touched the weeping Heather on the arm and nodded.
“Please go, Heather.”
We faced off, father and son, listening to the sound of Heather bounding down the stairs and fleeing through the front door.
My dad swallowed, his face a mask of remorse. “Son, I’m so sorry. We didn’t plan this.”
I choked out hoarse laughter. “The battle cry of lying fuckers everywhere.”
“No, I swear it.”
“You knew,” I accused.
He lowered his head. And he didn’t deny it.
“She told you,” I whispered. “Or you guessed. But the bottom line is, you knew about me and her and you went after her anyway.”
He regretted everything. I could tell from the look in his eyes. I just didn’t care.
“I didn’t mean to do this,” he said.
“I get it. Your mouth just kind of fell on her pussy.”
“I’m sorry! Fuck, I had too much to drink tonight.”
“Bullshit. What was this, some kind of sick contest to prove that you’re the number one alpha male around here?”
“Nash, this shouldn’t be happening.”
I wasn’t used to being turned down and I was growing frustrated. I ran a finger up her arm and felt triumph over the way she shivered at my touch.
“It’s not illegal, baby. I’m eighteen and school ends in a month.”
She was breathing hard, her resistance crumbling as my fingers snuck under her shirt, exploring her smooth skin. “That doesn’t make it right.”
I eased her back on the blanket and covered her with my body. “I want you Heather. You want me too.”
She closed her eyes. “Maybe.”
We didn’t have sex. We hovered around second base and never advanced.
Then one day I walked into the store to work a shift behind the register. I hated the store but I needed a part time paycheck and my dad insisted that I couldn’t get it anywhere else.
He was there. So was she. I saw them through the glass, standing close together and talking earnestly and it was weird. My dad was a good thirteen years older than Heather. Hawk Valley was a small town but I’d never even realized they knew each other. Heather threw her head back in laughter and I wondered what the fuck they were talking about that was so funny. The only thing they could possibly have in common was me and I hadn’t said a word to him about her.
“Nash!” Heather stopped smiling and seemed startled to see me. “I just stopped by to say hello. I haven’t been in here in so long.”
I looked around the store. “Not much to see.”
“Right.” She tossed her blonde hair over one shoulder and looked down. “I should get going. Bye Nash. It was nice catching up with you, Chris.”
“Good to see you, Heather,” my father answered and I saw the way his eyes lingered on her ass as she walked out the door. It made me want to puke.
“What was that about?” I demanded.
He was whistling. “What?”
“If you need a new conquest don’t look for one in Heather.”
My dad was amused. The bastard even grinned at me. “Sounds like someone has a crush.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“Forget it, son. She’s out of your league.”
“And you’re about a decade too old to be in hers.”
Sometimes he liked getting under my skin. This was one of those times. Maybe he thought of it as payback for all the times I’d gotten under his.
Chris Ryan smirked at me as if I was nothing more consequential than a first grader chasing the girl he liked with a bunch of dandelions in my hand. “You can’t compete with me, little boy. Don’t even try.”
“Go to hell.”
I stalked out with the sound of his laughter trailing behind me.
Heather started coming up with excuses about why she couldn’t meet. Graduation loomed so I had other things on my mind anyway. Besides, what was I supposed to do, pack her in my suitcase this fall and bring her Oregon with me? But still, I passed the front office more than I needed to just for the chance to receive a smile from her and felt my heart flex every time it happened.
My dad and I weren’t talking much but that had been the case for so long I wasn’t bothered. We were just trying to get through the next few months and put this experiment behind us. Someday things might be different between us. We just couldn’t live under the same roof together.
On Senior Ditch Day I made plans to go up to the mountains overnight with a bunch of my classmates. My dad even gave me his blessing and the keys to the family cabin up there. He just told me to keep the place in one piece if possible.
There were plenty of hot girls running around and I tried to get interested in them. But even when Amelia Horton started to suck me off as I leaned against a pine tree and smoked a cigarette I couldn’t keep my mind straight. I didn’t want to fuck some random girl. I still wanted Heather. There wasn’t love and marriage on my mind but I felt a connection with her that I hadn’t found with the girls my own age. That had to mean something.
I left the senior class to do whatever they wanted and drove back down to Hawk Valley after midnight. But Heather didn’t answer when I called and there were no lights on in her apartment. The idea of returning to the party was depressing. I figured I’d be better off just going home to crash in my own bed and jerk off to my fantasies.
I opened and closed the front door with care, not really caring to have any kind of interaction with my father. He might be out drinking away pieces of his liver or he might be snoring upstairs. Either way I just wanted to be left alone.
I didn’t hear any noise until I was almost at the top of the stairs.
There was moaning, the sound of a woman in pain. Or the opposite of pain…
They’d left the light on and hadn’t bothered to shut the door. She was flat on her back on the bed, shirt and bra pushed all the way up so her perky tits were bare, along with the rest of her. Her legs were spread wide and her body arched, rising and falling to the rhythm of my father’s tongue in her pussy.
“Oh god, Chris. Oh god!”
His shirt was off and he was kneeling, his face buried between her legs while Heather moaned his name and clutched the bed sheets as he got her to come.
I was frozen, staring at the woman I had wanted, the woman I had trusted, getting her pussy licked by the last man on earth I could stand to see her with.
They didn’t hear me. They didn’t see me. They didn’t know anything was wrong until I picked up an antique crystal decanter that had belonged to my grandparents and threw it against the far wall, shattering it into a thousand unfixable pieces.
“Nash!”
Heather wasn’t moaning with pleasure anymore. She was gasping with horror, struggling to cover her body as if it made any fucking difference. I couldn’t look at her. I didn’t want to hurt her. I just wanted to never ever see her fucking face again.
“Get out.”
She cried. “Nash I’m sorry.”
“GET THE FUCK OUT!”
My father stood. He was pale, wide-eyed. He swallowed, touched the weeping Heather on the arm and nodded.
“Please go, Heather.”
We faced off, father and son, listening to the sound of Heather bounding down the stairs and fleeing through the front door.
My dad swallowed, his face a mask of remorse. “Son, I’m so sorry. We didn’t plan this.”
I choked out hoarse laughter. “The battle cry of lying fuckers everywhere.”
“No, I swear it.”
“You knew,” I accused.
He lowered his head. And he didn’t deny it.
“She told you,” I whispered. “Or you guessed. But the bottom line is, you knew about me and her and you went after her anyway.”
He regretted everything. I could tell from the look in his eyes. I just didn’t care.
“I didn’t mean to do this,” he said.
“I get it. Your mouth just kind of fell on her pussy.”
“I’m sorry! Fuck, I had too much to drink tonight.”
“Bullshit. What was this, some kind of sick contest to prove that you’re the number one alpha male around here?”
