In This Life
Page 43
As soon as he dozed off I deposited him in the crib, threw on a shirt and some shoes and went outside to deal with the truck. The baby monitor was stuffed in my back pocket and turned on full volume so I’d hear Colin if he woke up.
I grabbed the boxes first; clothes and books and some kitchen shit that might come in handy. I decided to stick everything in the living room for now because there was no better place. Houses that were a hundred and twenty years old didn’t have garages. The bed frame and mattress were the biggest pieces and I planned to move them last.
I was on my way back to the truck to grab the remaining boxes when I noticed I had some company.
He’d just emerged from his car and he hesitated when he saw me coming. I stopped cold and assessed the situation. I could read men pretty well and he didn’t appear to have the attitude of a guy spoiling for a fight. He even raised his hand in a tentative wave.
Still, just because he looked like less of an egotistical weasel than he had last night didn’t mean much. I still hated him for creeping around after Kat, for scaring her, for wounding her so badly when she was young and trusting.
I pretended he wasn’t there and returned to the truck. I wasn’t going to move on him first but if he tried any bullshit he’d be sorry.
“Can I help?” Harrison stood a few feet behind the truck, looking up at me with some wariness, and maybe a touch of shame.
“Fuck off.”
“I was really hoping to talk to you, Nash.”
“How the hell do you know my name?”
“I heard Kat say it last night.”
“Great. Now you can fuck off.”
He nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “You’re pissed. I don’t blame you at all.”
“Nah, it’s every guy’s dream to come home and find his girl being assaulted on the front lawn by some cheesedick piece of shit with a receding hairline.”
He was alarmed. “No, that’s not how it happened at all. I swear to god I didn’t mean to make her fall. I slipped and I guess I knocked into her. But it was an accident. I’d never intentionally hurt Kathleen.”
This asshole was really pushing my buttons now. “Says every man who’s ever hit a woman.”
Harrison grimaced. “Cut me some slack, okay? I came here to apologize. The way shit went down last night was the last thing I wanted.”
“So why the hell are you apologizing to me instead of her?”
“Because I think I’ve already scared Kathleen enough. And that was never my intention. I thought it would be better to approach you, maybe get you to see that despite my bad behavior I’m not the guy I seemed to be last night. I also thought maybe you could tell her that I just want to talk.”
“I have a better idea. You crawl back into your tiny cock compensation car and drive the fuck out of here.”
He gave me a sad grin. “I can’t do that.”
“You can’t, huh?” I hopped out of the truck so I could look him in the eye. “What do you want from her anyway?”
“Nothing. But the kid-“
“Is not yours.”
“I know.” He took a deep breath. “I know she’s not mine. But she is my niece. I know Kathleen never wanted to see me again and even though I’ve been thinking lately I’d like to be there for the girl I would have left them in peace if it wasn’t for my mother.”
I crossed my arms, waiting for him to continue.
Harrison’s face contorted and he looked incredibly sad. “My mother’s dying. Colon cancer. It’s everywhere now and we just found out she doesn’t have long.”
I wouldn’t wish a dying mother on anyone, not even a total prick. “Sorry to hear that.”
“The thing is, she never knew about Randall and Kathleen. She didn’t know about the baby. And recently I finally told her she has a grandchild she’s never met. After Randall died…” The man’s voice trailed off and he looked away, unable to continue for a moment. Finally he swiped at his eyes and composed himself. “My mother was inconsolable. Frankly, so was I. Randall had been my best friend my whole life and then he was just gone in the most awful way. Worst of all, people had warned me that he had a big problem. Kat warned me. I just didn’t listen. It was a bleak time and I thought we were all better off without any reminders of my brother around. The kid would have been a reminder.”
“Emma,” I said sharply. “Her name is Emma.”
“Yes, I know her name is Emma,” he said and I saw his face become wistful. “What’s she like?”
“Smart and beautiful. Like her mother.”
He smiled. “I’m glad to hear it.” His smile faded. “My mother wants so badly to see Emma. That’s why I contacted Kat. And like I said, she doesn’t have long to live. That’s why I’ve been so desperate.”
I leaned against the truck, my mind trying to process everything. I’d been all set to despise this character but I found myself feeling vaguely sorry for him.
“I won’t go to bat for you,” I said. “But I can tell Kat what you said. It’s her decision from there. And no matter what the outcome is I don’t expect to find out you’re doing anything to upset her.”
He nodded eagerly. “Again, I really am so sorry. I got anxious because Kat didn’t answer my calls or emails and every day my mother asks if she can see her granddaughter. I didn’t want to go the route of lawyers and courts but I handled it badly.”
“You sure as hell did,” I said but there was no venom in my voice. I didn’t hate him.
Harrison was contrite. “I didn’t mean the things I said last night. Kathleen was amazing. And I was never good to her. She deserved better. But I don’t think she got together with Randall out of spite. I think she cared about him and I’m glad. I’m glad he had someone. I’m glad that Emma is in the world.”
“All right,” I sighed. “You know, there was a time in the not so distant past where I would have pounded the shit out of you if I’d come home to last night’s scene no matter what you said.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What’s changed?”
“I’m raising a little boy. I want to be a good example, to teach him that cooler heads should prevail and he should think before punching.”
Harrison nodded. “That’s a damn good lesson to learn at a young age.”
I was going to say something else but I didn’t get the chance because Kat’s car drove up. I could see her through the windshield, slack-jawed with shock over finding me standing out here shooting the shit with her hated ex. I raised a hand to let her know all was well and she stared at us for another moment before exiting the car.
“What the hell do you want now?” she asked, her eyes darting from one of us to the other.
“It’s okay,” I assured her. “Harrison over here just wanted to apologize. There is something he wanted to talk to you about but he’s told me everything and now he can leave. I agreed to tell you his story and he’s agreed to live with whatever you decide.”
Harrison shot me a look. I answered with a warning glare. Kat was visibly confused.
The door to Kat’s sedan opened suddenly and Emma leapt out of the car.
“Emma!” Kat exclaimed. “What has Mommy told you about unbuckling your car seat?”
I grabbed the boxes first; clothes and books and some kitchen shit that might come in handy. I decided to stick everything in the living room for now because there was no better place. Houses that were a hundred and twenty years old didn’t have garages. The bed frame and mattress were the biggest pieces and I planned to move them last.
I was on my way back to the truck to grab the remaining boxes when I noticed I had some company.
He’d just emerged from his car and he hesitated when he saw me coming. I stopped cold and assessed the situation. I could read men pretty well and he didn’t appear to have the attitude of a guy spoiling for a fight. He even raised his hand in a tentative wave.
Still, just because he looked like less of an egotistical weasel than he had last night didn’t mean much. I still hated him for creeping around after Kat, for scaring her, for wounding her so badly when she was young and trusting.
I pretended he wasn’t there and returned to the truck. I wasn’t going to move on him first but if he tried any bullshit he’d be sorry.
“Can I help?” Harrison stood a few feet behind the truck, looking up at me with some wariness, and maybe a touch of shame.
“Fuck off.”
“I was really hoping to talk to you, Nash.”
“How the hell do you know my name?”
“I heard Kat say it last night.”
“Great. Now you can fuck off.”
He nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “You’re pissed. I don’t blame you at all.”
“Nah, it’s every guy’s dream to come home and find his girl being assaulted on the front lawn by some cheesedick piece of shit with a receding hairline.”
He was alarmed. “No, that’s not how it happened at all. I swear to god I didn’t mean to make her fall. I slipped and I guess I knocked into her. But it was an accident. I’d never intentionally hurt Kathleen.”
This asshole was really pushing my buttons now. “Says every man who’s ever hit a woman.”
Harrison grimaced. “Cut me some slack, okay? I came here to apologize. The way shit went down last night was the last thing I wanted.”
“So why the hell are you apologizing to me instead of her?”
“Because I think I’ve already scared Kathleen enough. And that was never my intention. I thought it would be better to approach you, maybe get you to see that despite my bad behavior I’m not the guy I seemed to be last night. I also thought maybe you could tell her that I just want to talk.”
“I have a better idea. You crawl back into your tiny cock compensation car and drive the fuck out of here.”
He gave me a sad grin. “I can’t do that.”
“You can’t, huh?” I hopped out of the truck so I could look him in the eye. “What do you want from her anyway?”
“Nothing. But the kid-“
“Is not yours.”
“I know.” He took a deep breath. “I know she’s not mine. But she is my niece. I know Kathleen never wanted to see me again and even though I’ve been thinking lately I’d like to be there for the girl I would have left them in peace if it wasn’t for my mother.”
I crossed my arms, waiting for him to continue.
Harrison’s face contorted and he looked incredibly sad. “My mother’s dying. Colon cancer. It’s everywhere now and we just found out she doesn’t have long.”
I wouldn’t wish a dying mother on anyone, not even a total prick. “Sorry to hear that.”
“The thing is, she never knew about Randall and Kathleen. She didn’t know about the baby. And recently I finally told her she has a grandchild she’s never met. After Randall died…” The man’s voice trailed off and he looked away, unable to continue for a moment. Finally he swiped at his eyes and composed himself. “My mother was inconsolable. Frankly, so was I. Randall had been my best friend my whole life and then he was just gone in the most awful way. Worst of all, people had warned me that he had a big problem. Kat warned me. I just didn’t listen. It was a bleak time and I thought we were all better off without any reminders of my brother around. The kid would have been a reminder.”
“Emma,” I said sharply. “Her name is Emma.”
“Yes, I know her name is Emma,” he said and I saw his face become wistful. “What’s she like?”
“Smart and beautiful. Like her mother.”
He smiled. “I’m glad to hear it.” His smile faded. “My mother wants so badly to see Emma. That’s why I contacted Kat. And like I said, she doesn’t have long to live. That’s why I’ve been so desperate.”
I leaned against the truck, my mind trying to process everything. I’d been all set to despise this character but I found myself feeling vaguely sorry for him.
“I won’t go to bat for you,” I said. “But I can tell Kat what you said. It’s her decision from there. And no matter what the outcome is I don’t expect to find out you’re doing anything to upset her.”
He nodded eagerly. “Again, I really am so sorry. I got anxious because Kat didn’t answer my calls or emails and every day my mother asks if she can see her granddaughter. I didn’t want to go the route of lawyers and courts but I handled it badly.”
“You sure as hell did,” I said but there was no venom in my voice. I didn’t hate him.
Harrison was contrite. “I didn’t mean the things I said last night. Kathleen was amazing. And I was never good to her. She deserved better. But I don’t think she got together with Randall out of spite. I think she cared about him and I’m glad. I’m glad he had someone. I’m glad that Emma is in the world.”
“All right,” I sighed. “You know, there was a time in the not so distant past where I would have pounded the shit out of you if I’d come home to last night’s scene no matter what you said.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What’s changed?”
“I’m raising a little boy. I want to be a good example, to teach him that cooler heads should prevail and he should think before punching.”
Harrison nodded. “That’s a damn good lesson to learn at a young age.”
I was going to say something else but I didn’t get the chance because Kat’s car drove up. I could see her through the windshield, slack-jawed with shock over finding me standing out here shooting the shit with her hated ex. I raised a hand to let her know all was well and she stared at us for another moment before exiting the car.
“What the hell do you want now?” she asked, her eyes darting from one of us to the other.
“It’s okay,” I assured her. “Harrison over here just wanted to apologize. There is something he wanted to talk to you about but he’s told me everything and now he can leave. I agreed to tell you his story and he’s agreed to live with whatever you decide.”
Harrison shot me a look. I answered with a warning glare. Kat was visibly confused.
The door to Kat’s sedan opened suddenly and Emma leapt out of the car.
“Emma!” Kat exclaimed. “What has Mommy told you about unbuckling your car seat?”
