In This Life
Page 48
“Kathleen, we don’t want you to feel pressured in any way. There aren’t enough words of thanks to express our gratitude.”
She looked at Harrison again and this time he cleared his throat. “We’d love to see Emma again,” he said. “If that’s okay with you. She’s my niece and when I look at her I remember how much I loved my brother. And how much I miss him.”
I looked behind me, into the room where Emma was hanging on every word her grandmother read to her. I’d been so used to having Emma to myself it almost felt strange to share her with another family. But I shouldn’t feel that way. This would be her family too.
“I think Emma would enjoy that,” I said.
Harrison looked relieved. “And if you need any financial help we’d be happy to-“
“I don’t,” I interrupted, bristling. “I don’t need any financial help.”
He backed off. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. We have no intention of intruding on your life or dictating terms. But Emma is Randall’s little girl and I just wanted to let you know that we’re here for her.”
“And for you,” Delia added. “We’re here for you too, Kathleen. I’m really hoping we can be friends.”
They looked so earnest, so hopeful. In the other room Emma and her grandmother broke into laughter.
“I’d like to be your friend,” I told Delia and I meant it.
The three of us stayed just outside the room for a little while longer, giving Emma and her grandmother their privacy to get to know each other. I learned Harrison had become a financial advisor and I had some trouble imagining the brash football guy I’d known in college sitting across a conference table and advising couples on 401K plans. But things change. People change. Delia was pursuing a PhD in biochemistry and planned to eventually become a professor.
“That used to be my plan,” I said. “To become a professor.”
She was thoughtful. “You still can. It’s not too late.”
I considered the idea. “You’re right,” I said. “It’s not too late.”
A hospice nurse arrived just before lunch to check on Mrs. Corbett. Her presence was a sobering reminder that the woman in the next room did not have long to live.
Harrison thought his mother was getting too tired but she protested and begged if Emma could stay a little while longer. A compromise was reached where she agreed to rest for an hour while Delia made lunch. The adults enjoyed lemon chicken with quinoa while Emma munched on a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of strawberries. Emma delighted the table with tales from preschool and after I finished eating I excused myself for a moment to text Nash. He’d been a little apprehensive about this trip and I just wanted to let him know he didn’t need to worry about anything.
Everything is fine. Emma met her grandmother and was gifted with a synthetic Roxie replacement. Thinking of you guys.
I was about to stick my phone back in my bag but then decided on one more line.
I miss you so much.
When our roles had been reversed recently Nash had said that to me. I hadn’t said it back at the time even though he was constantly on my mind. I waited for a few minutes but there was no reply. Maybe he hadn’t seen it right away. Nash didn’t always keep his phone right by his side.
Delia’s rich laughter came from the dining room, followed by Emma’s high giggle. I stayed where I was for another few seconds and just listened. We’d spend a few more hours here and then hit the road so we’d be back in Hawk Valley before dinner. I was already thinking I’d offer to drive Emma down here again real soon. The memories Emma was building today would be precious to her. She should have the chance to make more.
I’d decided something else too. Before we went home tonight I’d stop to see Nash. I needed to tell him how I felt about him. If he didn’t feel the same it was better to know that now, while I might still be able to salvage pieces of my heart. If I fell for him any harder I wasn’t sure if I’d recover.
“Mommy!” sang Emma. “Where are you?”
“I’m here,” I said, smiling as I returned to the dining room.
We were still deciding on categories when Kathleen’s mother showed up.
“What’s all this?” Eleanor Doyle demanded to know after she barged through the front door. I guess that served me right for not locking it.
She frowned when she saw all the boxes on the living room floor. Kevin was hunched down, scrawling on one with a black marker while Jane wrapped a crystal vase in bubble wrap.
“Hello Eleanor,” Jane said.
“Are you moving?” Kathleen’s mother asked me. I thought she sounded a little too hopeful.
“No,” I answered. “We’re working on boxing up some of Chris and Heather’s personal effects. I figured it was about time and since Heather was your niece I thought we could use your help to decide what’s best.”
All of that was true but I also had another reason for calling Kathleen’s mother. I was shamelessly trying to insert myself into her good graces because I wanted to impress her daughter.
“Hey there, Eleanor,” Kevin chimed in.
She looked in his direction and nodded before turning back to me.
“The important things, the sentimental things, will be boxed up and stored in the attic,” I said. “But I’m guessing most of the clothes can go to charity.” I paused. “What do you think?”
Eleanor continued to stare at me, then slowly nodded. “I think Heather would approve. And my church is having a rummage sale on Saturday. So anything you’re looking to donate I can certainly take off your hands.”
I smiled. “Thanks, that would be great. I knew we could count on you.” I was piling it on a little thick and Kevin raised an eyebrow at me as if to say he detected a significant rise in my bullshit meter but Eleanor blushed and seemed satisfied.
She offered to start in the master bedroom and sort through Heather’s things, which was a relief because I still felt a little weird being in there. I’d have to get over that. I couldn’t just close off the room forever and keep it as some kind of gothic shrine. It wouldn’t be healthy for Colin, for any of us.
Jane followed Eleanor up the stairs with some boxes, leaving Kevin and me alone in the living room.
I picked up a glass plate that was on a display stand on the end table. It looked old, probably an antique.
“You want to box up all the breakables?” Kevin asked.
I nodded. “Most of them. Colin’s almost ready to crawl. Then he’ll be walking. So a lot of baby proofing is in order.” I picked up some bubble wrap. “This stuff will go in the attic for now.”
“Nash.”
I looked up and found my father’s old friend with a pained expression. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you for awhile, about that night at Sheen’s.”
“No need for that.”
“Yes there is. You were right about Travis, no mystery there. But I need to apologize for what I said to you. I told you I thought you’d fucking grown up a little, implying that you were still the same reckless kid you always had been.”
I tore off a length of bubble wrap. “I remember.”
“I was wrong,” Kevin said flatly. “You’ve stepped up around here in a way that I didn’t expect. I see the way you are with Colin, how hard you’re trying. And I admire you, Nash. Your dad knew what he was doing when he put you in charge.”
She looked at Harrison again and this time he cleared his throat. “We’d love to see Emma again,” he said. “If that’s okay with you. She’s my niece and when I look at her I remember how much I loved my brother. And how much I miss him.”
I looked behind me, into the room where Emma was hanging on every word her grandmother read to her. I’d been so used to having Emma to myself it almost felt strange to share her with another family. But I shouldn’t feel that way. This would be her family too.
“I think Emma would enjoy that,” I said.
Harrison looked relieved. “And if you need any financial help we’d be happy to-“
“I don’t,” I interrupted, bristling. “I don’t need any financial help.”
He backed off. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. We have no intention of intruding on your life or dictating terms. But Emma is Randall’s little girl and I just wanted to let you know that we’re here for her.”
“And for you,” Delia added. “We’re here for you too, Kathleen. I’m really hoping we can be friends.”
They looked so earnest, so hopeful. In the other room Emma and her grandmother broke into laughter.
“I’d like to be your friend,” I told Delia and I meant it.
The three of us stayed just outside the room for a little while longer, giving Emma and her grandmother their privacy to get to know each other. I learned Harrison had become a financial advisor and I had some trouble imagining the brash football guy I’d known in college sitting across a conference table and advising couples on 401K plans. But things change. People change. Delia was pursuing a PhD in biochemistry and planned to eventually become a professor.
“That used to be my plan,” I said. “To become a professor.”
She was thoughtful. “You still can. It’s not too late.”
I considered the idea. “You’re right,” I said. “It’s not too late.”
A hospice nurse arrived just before lunch to check on Mrs. Corbett. Her presence was a sobering reminder that the woman in the next room did not have long to live.
Harrison thought his mother was getting too tired but she protested and begged if Emma could stay a little while longer. A compromise was reached where she agreed to rest for an hour while Delia made lunch. The adults enjoyed lemon chicken with quinoa while Emma munched on a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of strawberries. Emma delighted the table with tales from preschool and after I finished eating I excused myself for a moment to text Nash. He’d been a little apprehensive about this trip and I just wanted to let him know he didn’t need to worry about anything.
Everything is fine. Emma met her grandmother and was gifted with a synthetic Roxie replacement. Thinking of you guys.
I was about to stick my phone back in my bag but then decided on one more line.
I miss you so much.
When our roles had been reversed recently Nash had said that to me. I hadn’t said it back at the time even though he was constantly on my mind. I waited for a few minutes but there was no reply. Maybe he hadn’t seen it right away. Nash didn’t always keep his phone right by his side.
Delia’s rich laughter came from the dining room, followed by Emma’s high giggle. I stayed where I was for another few seconds and just listened. We’d spend a few more hours here and then hit the road so we’d be back in Hawk Valley before dinner. I was already thinking I’d offer to drive Emma down here again real soon. The memories Emma was building today would be precious to her. She should have the chance to make more.
I’d decided something else too. Before we went home tonight I’d stop to see Nash. I needed to tell him how I felt about him. If he didn’t feel the same it was better to know that now, while I might still be able to salvage pieces of my heart. If I fell for him any harder I wasn’t sure if I’d recover.
“Mommy!” sang Emma. “Where are you?”
“I’m here,” I said, smiling as I returned to the dining room.
We were still deciding on categories when Kathleen’s mother showed up.
“What’s all this?” Eleanor Doyle demanded to know after she barged through the front door. I guess that served me right for not locking it.
She frowned when she saw all the boxes on the living room floor. Kevin was hunched down, scrawling on one with a black marker while Jane wrapped a crystal vase in bubble wrap.
“Hello Eleanor,” Jane said.
“Are you moving?” Kathleen’s mother asked me. I thought she sounded a little too hopeful.
“No,” I answered. “We’re working on boxing up some of Chris and Heather’s personal effects. I figured it was about time and since Heather was your niece I thought we could use your help to decide what’s best.”
All of that was true but I also had another reason for calling Kathleen’s mother. I was shamelessly trying to insert myself into her good graces because I wanted to impress her daughter.
“Hey there, Eleanor,” Kevin chimed in.
She looked in his direction and nodded before turning back to me.
“The important things, the sentimental things, will be boxed up and stored in the attic,” I said. “But I’m guessing most of the clothes can go to charity.” I paused. “What do you think?”
Eleanor continued to stare at me, then slowly nodded. “I think Heather would approve. And my church is having a rummage sale on Saturday. So anything you’re looking to donate I can certainly take off your hands.”
I smiled. “Thanks, that would be great. I knew we could count on you.” I was piling it on a little thick and Kevin raised an eyebrow at me as if to say he detected a significant rise in my bullshit meter but Eleanor blushed and seemed satisfied.
She offered to start in the master bedroom and sort through Heather’s things, which was a relief because I still felt a little weird being in there. I’d have to get over that. I couldn’t just close off the room forever and keep it as some kind of gothic shrine. It wouldn’t be healthy for Colin, for any of us.
Jane followed Eleanor up the stairs with some boxes, leaving Kevin and me alone in the living room.
I picked up a glass plate that was on a display stand on the end table. It looked old, probably an antique.
“You want to box up all the breakables?” Kevin asked.
I nodded. “Most of them. Colin’s almost ready to crawl. Then he’ll be walking. So a lot of baby proofing is in order.” I picked up some bubble wrap. “This stuff will go in the attic for now.”
“Nash.”
I looked up and found my father’s old friend with a pained expression. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you for awhile, about that night at Sheen’s.”
“No need for that.”
“Yes there is. You were right about Travis, no mystery there. But I need to apologize for what I said to you. I told you I thought you’d fucking grown up a little, implying that you were still the same reckless kid you always had been.”
I tore off a length of bubble wrap. “I remember.”
“I was wrong,” Kevin said flatly. “You’ve stepped up around here in a way that I didn’t expect. I see the way you are with Colin, how hard you’re trying. And I admire you, Nash. Your dad knew what he was doing when he put you in charge.”
