Industrial Magic
Page 70
You have a problem, he said to Jaime. I presume you came to us for help with that problem. But we arent going to drag it out of you.
You have more important things to do. I know that. But I think itit might be related.
And I assume you are going to explain what it is as soon as we get back to the hotel?
She nodded.
Undelivered Message
THE HOTEL ROOM DOOR WAS STILL SHUTTING BEHIND US when Jaime started talking.
Ive got a haunter, she said. And its a strange one. I was going to tell you guys, but I know youre busy and I wasnt sure what was going onIm still not. She perched on the arm of the armchair, still talking. It started Wednesday afternoon, before my Orlando show. At first I figured it was Dana, that she knew she was dead and wanted to pay me back for lying to her. Jaime twisted her rings. I shouldnt have done thatnot that I could have told her she was deadits not my place, right? But I went overboard with the reassurances. They just came out automatically, like I was doing a show.
She glanced from Lucas to me. When neither of us spoke, she continued.
Thats what I do with my shows, in case you havent guessed. I make it up. No one wants to hear the truth. Fanny Mae wants to make contact with her dead hubby, and the guys standing beside me screaming, Worried about me? You f**king whore, you werent worried about me when you hopped into bed with my brother an hour after my funeral! You think Im going to tell her that? I tell her the same thing I tell everyone else. He misses you, but hes happy and hes in a good place. And youd think, youd really think, that after Ive given the same damned message for the thousandth time, that people would wise up, but they dont. Tell them what they want to hear and they never complain.
She inhaled and shifted down onto the seat. When this spook came knocking, I figured it was Dana, so I came back here to talk to her. But she was gone, and my haunter wasnt, so obviously it isnt her.
Cant you contact it? I said.
Jaime shook her head. Thats whats so weird. I cant make contact. Not only that, but its behavingwell, its just not following ghost-necro protocol. She looked at me. Do you know how this works? How a spirit contacts a necro?
Vaguely, I said. Most necromancers I know dont really talk about it.
Typical. They act like its some big trade secret. Way I figure it, my friendsthe supernaturals, at leastshould know how it works. Otherwise, they see me mumbling to myself and staring at blank walls,theyre going to figure Ive lost it. There are two main ways a spook says hi. If he knows the proper procedures, he can manifest, and I get sight and sound. If he doesnt know the tricks, then all I get is audiothe old voices-in-my-head. Any ghost should be able to do the latter. But this one cant.
So its throwing things instead?
It is now. Up until today, its just been hanging around, like a mental stalker. I know its there. I sense it all the time, as if someone is looking over my shoulder, and itsshe lifted a hand to show her trembling fingersmaking me nervous. Then to start poltergeisting? Thats justwell, Im spooked, and Ill admit it.
True poltergeist activity is rare, isnt it? I said.
Extremely rare. When I was younger, I did some ghost-buster work to pay the bills. Number one haunted-homeowner complaint? Poltergeists. I went out on dozens, if not hundreds of calls. I found exactly three real poltergeists. The rest of the time, it was clever kiddies looking for attention. Id tell the people some cock-and-bull about the ghosts wanting to see the family spend more time together, and that usually fixed the problem. Real poltergeist activity, though, means a ghost has found a way to move things in our dimension, and thats a very special talent.
Lucas frowned. So how does a ghost who cant even contact a necromancer manage to manipulate objects cross-dimensionally? I see the problem. Have you considered the possibility that this isnt a human-based entity at all?
Maybe a minor demon, I said. Or a nature spirit.
Could be, I guess, Jaime said. But Im a necro. I talk to the dead, like my title says. If it aint dead, whys it bugging me? You guys are the spell-castersthe conjurersso it should be trying to talk to you. And Im pretty sure the message is for you, anyway. Until the bookstore, it backed off whenever you two were around.
Because it thought you were going to convey the message, I said. But maybe the message is to tell us to start conjuring, so it can communicate. When it realized you didnt understand, it bumped it up a level in the bookstore. So lets try some group conjuring. Among the three of us, it has to find someone it can talk to.
Jaime looked up at the ceiling. You hear that, Casper? Were going to try making contact, so you can back off now.
After a moment of silence, I asked. Did it stop?
Jaime shook her head. I think the contact problem goes both ways. I cant hear it and it cant hear me. Let me grab my kit and see if we can fix that.
You have more important things to do. I know that. But I think itit might be related.
And I assume you are going to explain what it is as soon as we get back to the hotel?
She nodded.
Undelivered Message
THE HOTEL ROOM DOOR WAS STILL SHUTTING BEHIND US when Jaime started talking.
Ive got a haunter, she said. And its a strange one. I was going to tell you guys, but I know youre busy and I wasnt sure what was going onIm still not. She perched on the arm of the armchair, still talking. It started Wednesday afternoon, before my Orlando show. At first I figured it was Dana, that she knew she was dead and wanted to pay me back for lying to her. Jaime twisted her rings. I shouldnt have done thatnot that I could have told her she was deadits not my place, right? But I went overboard with the reassurances. They just came out automatically, like I was doing a show.
She glanced from Lucas to me. When neither of us spoke, she continued.
Thats what I do with my shows, in case you havent guessed. I make it up. No one wants to hear the truth. Fanny Mae wants to make contact with her dead hubby, and the guys standing beside me screaming, Worried about me? You f**king whore, you werent worried about me when you hopped into bed with my brother an hour after my funeral! You think Im going to tell her that? I tell her the same thing I tell everyone else. He misses you, but hes happy and hes in a good place. And youd think, youd really think, that after Ive given the same damned message for the thousandth time, that people would wise up, but they dont. Tell them what they want to hear and they never complain.
She inhaled and shifted down onto the seat. When this spook came knocking, I figured it was Dana, so I came back here to talk to her. But she was gone, and my haunter wasnt, so obviously it isnt her.
Cant you contact it? I said.
Jaime shook her head. Thats whats so weird. I cant make contact. Not only that, but its behavingwell, its just not following ghost-necro protocol. She looked at me. Do you know how this works? How a spirit contacts a necro?
Vaguely, I said. Most necromancers I know dont really talk about it.
Typical. They act like its some big trade secret. Way I figure it, my friendsthe supernaturals, at leastshould know how it works. Otherwise, they see me mumbling to myself and staring at blank walls,theyre going to figure Ive lost it. There are two main ways a spook says hi. If he knows the proper procedures, he can manifest, and I get sight and sound. If he doesnt know the tricks, then all I get is audiothe old voices-in-my-head. Any ghost should be able to do the latter. But this one cant.
So its throwing things instead?
It is now. Up until today, its just been hanging around, like a mental stalker. I know its there. I sense it all the time, as if someone is looking over my shoulder, and itsshe lifted a hand to show her trembling fingersmaking me nervous. Then to start poltergeisting? Thats justwell, Im spooked, and Ill admit it.
True poltergeist activity is rare, isnt it? I said.
Extremely rare. When I was younger, I did some ghost-buster work to pay the bills. Number one haunted-homeowner complaint? Poltergeists. I went out on dozens, if not hundreds of calls. I found exactly three real poltergeists. The rest of the time, it was clever kiddies looking for attention. Id tell the people some cock-and-bull about the ghosts wanting to see the family spend more time together, and that usually fixed the problem. Real poltergeist activity, though, means a ghost has found a way to move things in our dimension, and thats a very special talent.
Lucas frowned. So how does a ghost who cant even contact a necromancer manage to manipulate objects cross-dimensionally? I see the problem. Have you considered the possibility that this isnt a human-based entity at all?
Maybe a minor demon, I said. Or a nature spirit.
Could be, I guess, Jaime said. But Im a necro. I talk to the dead, like my title says. If it aint dead, whys it bugging me? You guys are the spell-castersthe conjurersso it should be trying to talk to you. And Im pretty sure the message is for you, anyway. Until the bookstore, it backed off whenever you two were around.
Because it thought you were going to convey the message, I said. But maybe the message is to tell us to start conjuring, so it can communicate. When it realized you didnt understand, it bumped it up a level in the bookstore. So lets try some group conjuring. Among the three of us, it has to find someone it can talk to.
Jaime looked up at the ceiling. You hear that, Casper? Were going to try making contact, so you can back off now.
After a moment of silence, I asked. Did it stop?
Jaime shook her head. I think the contact problem goes both ways. I cant hear it and it cant hear me. Let me grab my kit and see if we can fix that.
