Infatuation
Page 44
An ordinary Hell that leaves me not wanting to go home most nights.
It’s not that I don’t want her there. Fuck, far from it. She cooks dinner every night, keeps the place tidy, and last week even started on bringing back the garden I’ve managed to kill off.
The problem is more than all those issues. It’s knowing she sleeps next door to me every night, a thin wall the only thing separating us. It’s the showers every morning that force me to jack off to stop me from kicking the door down to join her. It’s the fucking nightie she continues to walk around in every night. The same one I told her not to fucking wear. It’s every single day knowing this woman, who wants me just as much as I want her, is so damn perfect, I know I can’t ruin her.
She’s driving me crazy, but it doesn’t stop me from going out of my way to find ways to talk to her, sit with her and even watch the stupid shows she likes to watch. I even went as far as fixing up the damn porch swing for her.
I’m twisted up over pussy and I’m not even fucking her.
“I’m surprised she’s not here,” Kelly continues to question me, only making my pissed-off mood darker.
“She worked earlier and decided to go home,” I answer, still not sure why I’m annoyed she didn’t want to hang back with us. I thought she would eventually get used to the club, the parties, and women, but it doesn’t seem she wants to. Not yet anyway.
“How about you? Are you doing okay?” Holly asks.
“I’m fine, Holly.” I let out a frustrated breath. It’s not like I want to be an asshole to her. I just don’t want to fucking talk about Mackenzie when I’m wound so tight.
Maybe I need my dick wet? Fuck her out of my head.
“Hey, Beau.” Lissy, Bell’s friend, interrupts my thoughts and takes a seat next to me.
“Hey.” I keep my eyes on my beer, the irony she just sat down not lost on me.
“Wanna get out of here?” She leans in closer so no one can hear. That’s Lissy, straight to the point.
Like me.
I think it over for a bit. Maybe it would help? I haven’t fucked anyone since Mackenzie came back into my life, maybe it will help break this connection we can’t seem to shake. It would be easy. Lissy and I spent a night together in Vegas a few months back. She knows what I like and clearly knows my tastes.
I look up and catch Holly watching. She looks away before I can tell her to fuck off.
“Nope, not tonight,” I reply to Lissy, my eyes on Holly. Lissy doesn’t say anything, not bothered by my rejection and again, I kick myself for knocking her back.
Fucking hell, what the fuck is wrong with me?
“I’m out for the night. See ya’ll tomorrow.” I stand and give a few head nods around the table before making my way around the clubhouse to my bike. I need out of here before I lose my cool.
“Beau, wait up,” Lissy calls out as I make it around the front and mount my ride.
“Lissy, don’t. You knew the fucking score back in Vegas. It was one time, not gonna happen again.” My tone isn’t nice, but she doesn’t seem fazed.
“I know, of course. I just wanted to say sorry. I wasn’t thinking. It’s why I followed you around here.” I look at her for a minute. She was a good fuck, into everything I put her through, but staring at her now, my head and my dick know she’s not what I want. Not what I fucking crave.
“No problem,” I finally say and start my bike up. The rumble of the pipes cut off anything else she could possibly want to say.
With one final head nod, I back out and take off, hoping a ride clears some of my head and I decide right then to take the long route home.
Maybe it’s not such a good idea to have Mackenzie in my space anymore if it’s messing with me so much.
But it’s not like I could ask her to leave.
I could send her back to the clubhouse?
No, there’s no way she would go for it, especially after demanding she move in with me. No fucking way.
After riding for over an hour, and no closer to coming to a decision, I pull up out front of my house, kick the stand down and climb off. The front porch light is switched off, but the kitchen light still glows, so I know she’s still awake.
“You’re home?” Mackenzie looks up from the porch swing when I climb the stairs.
“Jesus, darlin’, didn’t see you there.” I take stock of where she’s sitting and try to curb my displeasure that she’s out here in the dark.
“Sorry, was just enjoying the cooler air.” She pushes a blanket off her legs and stands.
“What the hell you doing out here in the dark?” I scold when I see her in her fucking nightgown.
Fuck me, she’s trying to kill me again.
The fabric molds to her body and exposes her erect nipples for the world to see.
Fuck, think of puppies, and babies. Puppies and babies.
“I’m fine, Beau. Relax.” She bends and picks up a mug, and then walks to the front door. I don’t fight her anymore on the subject because truthfully, I don’t have the energy. The woman fights me on everything and tonight I just don’t have it in me.
“You had dinner?” I ask, watching her walk into the kitchen. Her hips sway as she walks, drawing me in like some sort of siren.
I stay back kicking my boots off at the front and dropping my helmet on the table next to the door.
“Yeah, there’s leftovers in the fridge.” She looks up from washing out her mug when I make it to the kitchen.
It’s not that I don’t want her there. Fuck, far from it. She cooks dinner every night, keeps the place tidy, and last week even started on bringing back the garden I’ve managed to kill off.
The problem is more than all those issues. It’s knowing she sleeps next door to me every night, a thin wall the only thing separating us. It’s the showers every morning that force me to jack off to stop me from kicking the door down to join her. It’s the fucking nightie she continues to walk around in every night. The same one I told her not to fucking wear. It’s every single day knowing this woman, who wants me just as much as I want her, is so damn perfect, I know I can’t ruin her.
She’s driving me crazy, but it doesn’t stop me from going out of my way to find ways to talk to her, sit with her and even watch the stupid shows she likes to watch. I even went as far as fixing up the damn porch swing for her.
I’m twisted up over pussy and I’m not even fucking her.
“I’m surprised she’s not here,” Kelly continues to question me, only making my pissed-off mood darker.
“She worked earlier and decided to go home,” I answer, still not sure why I’m annoyed she didn’t want to hang back with us. I thought she would eventually get used to the club, the parties, and women, but it doesn’t seem she wants to. Not yet anyway.
“How about you? Are you doing okay?” Holly asks.
“I’m fine, Holly.” I let out a frustrated breath. It’s not like I want to be an asshole to her. I just don’t want to fucking talk about Mackenzie when I’m wound so tight.
Maybe I need my dick wet? Fuck her out of my head.
“Hey, Beau.” Lissy, Bell’s friend, interrupts my thoughts and takes a seat next to me.
“Hey.” I keep my eyes on my beer, the irony she just sat down not lost on me.
“Wanna get out of here?” She leans in closer so no one can hear. That’s Lissy, straight to the point.
Like me.
I think it over for a bit. Maybe it would help? I haven’t fucked anyone since Mackenzie came back into my life, maybe it will help break this connection we can’t seem to shake. It would be easy. Lissy and I spent a night together in Vegas a few months back. She knows what I like and clearly knows my tastes.
I look up and catch Holly watching. She looks away before I can tell her to fuck off.
“Nope, not tonight,” I reply to Lissy, my eyes on Holly. Lissy doesn’t say anything, not bothered by my rejection and again, I kick myself for knocking her back.
Fucking hell, what the fuck is wrong with me?
“I’m out for the night. See ya’ll tomorrow.” I stand and give a few head nods around the table before making my way around the clubhouse to my bike. I need out of here before I lose my cool.
“Beau, wait up,” Lissy calls out as I make it around the front and mount my ride.
“Lissy, don’t. You knew the fucking score back in Vegas. It was one time, not gonna happen again.” My tone isn’t nice, but she doesn’t seem fazed.
“I know, of course. I just wanted to say sorry. I wasn’t thinking. It’s why I followed you around here.” I look at her for a minute. She was a good fuck, into everything I put her through, but staring at her now, my head and my dick know she’s not what I want. Not what I fucking crave.
“No problem,” I finally say and start my bike up. The rumble of the pipes cut off anything else she could possibly want to say.
With one final head nod, I back out and take off, hoping a ride clears some of my head and I decide right then to take the long route home.
Maybe it’s not such a good idea to have Mackenzie in my space anymore if it’s messing with me so much.
But it’s not like I could ask her to leave.
I could send her back to the clubhouse?
No, there’s no way she would go for it, especially after demanding she move in with me. No fucking way.
After riding for over an hour, and no closer to coming to a decision, I pull up out front of my house, kick the stand down and climb off. The front porch light is switched off, but the kitchen light still glows, so I know she’s still awake.
“You’re home?” Mackenzie looks up from the porch swing when I climb the stairs.
“Jesus, darlin’, didn’t see you there.” I take stock of where she’s sitting and try to curb my displeasure that she’s out here in the dark.
“Sorry, was just enjoying the cooler air.” She pushes a blanket off her legs and stands.
“What the hell you doing out here in the dark?” I scold when I see her in her fucking nightgown.
Fuck me, she’s trying to kill me again.
The fabric molds to her body and exposes her erect nipples for the world to see.
Fuck, think of puppies, and babies. Puppies and babies.
“I’m fine, Beau. Relax.” She bends and picks up a mug, and then walks to the front door. I don’t fight her anymore on the subject because truthfully, I don’t have the energy. The woman fights me on everything and tonight I just don’t have it in me.
“You had dinner?” I ask, watching her walk into the kitchen. Her hips sway as she walks, drawing me in like some sort of siren.
I stay back kicking my boots off at the front and dropping my helmet on the table next to the door.
“Yeah, there’s leftovers in the fridge.” She looks up from washing out her mug when I make it to the kitchen.
