Inside Out
Page 31
“Ben, what is it really? Not that the comments about the DNA test don’t suck, but you’re upset, like really upset. What else did he say?”
“He said if I was thinking like my old self, I’d be finding myself my own woman or not watching so carefully when Erin went up and down stairs.” Ben’s voice thinned at the very end as Cope’s head nearly blew off.
Cope didn’t really know what to say. What could he say in response to that? He grabbed his brother’s arm. “You know this is not right. And frankly, it’s not about you at all.”
“I know my father intimated I’d be better off if the love of my life fell and lost the baby. I never . . . I don’t even know how to process that.”
Cope’s head reeled at what had been said, at the damage his father had done. “I don’t either, to be honest. But I do know he’s out of order, Ben. He is wrong, and you need to step back before this goes any further. This is not healthy for you. I love you, Mom loves you, Todd, Erin, all our family, blood and not, you have people who wish you only the best. At some point, you’re going to have to let it go. Let him go if he can’t find a way to not be a snarling fool.”
“I know.”
“Still hurts though.” He hugged Ben then, and his brother hugged him back.
“Yes. It does, Andy.”
Ben hadn’t called him Andy in years. His brother was ripped open inside, and who wouldn’t be? Thank God he’d come up to check in. To be there when Ben had needed him.
“You can’t tell Erin. I don’t want her to know. Her blood pressure has been elevated lately. I don’t want any more stress on her. It’s poisonous to imagine anyone wishing that on you. She doesn’t need it.”
“Of course. But she’s going to find out eventually. She’ll be able to tell you’re upset. How are you getting around that?”
Ben heaved a shaky sigh. “She’ll know I’m upset with the situation in general. She can’t imagine—who could?—that he would say such a thing. I just can’t bring this into our life, our family. That child is mine, no matter whose DNA it carries.”
“Of course. No one who knows you would ever think differently.” What outsiders would think was another thing, but none of that mattered just then anyway. “What can I do? Whatever it is, you know if I can do it, I will.”
“You did it, man. You did it.” Ben stubbed the cigarette out and grabbed his glass. “Thanks for listening. I know you’ve tried to help make him see reason.”
“You’re my brother and he . . . Well, I know he loves you, but this is . . . He’s gone round the bend. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” Ben shook his head and stood up straight. “Let’s go inside. Erin will be worried. By the way, how are things with our lovely Ella?”
“They are good, Ben. God, she’s . . . I’m having a really great time getting to know her on this other level. She’s here, now, with Erin. I just asked her out, and she accepted.”
“And then you had to come up here to deal with family crazy. Sorry.” Ben paused before opening the doors. “I like her. She’s different than your usual type.”
“What does that mean? And don’t apologize for needing some f**king support. That’s what brothers do.”
“Why are you so bitchy?”
Good question. “What do you mean my usual type?”
“The one-night-stand type, Andy. Do you deny that?”
“No. But it’s not like they were all bad or terrible.” Or that he was.
“Of course not. Nothing wrong with f**king. But Ella is not that. She’s different. She’s not itinerant. She’s the kind you bring home. Well, maybe to us instead of Mom and Dad. What’s up your ass, anyway? I clearly touched a nerve, but I can’t fix it unless you tell me what I did.”
“You have enough shit to shovel right now. I’m fine.”
His brother just looked at him in the way big brothers did, arms crossed over his chest, one brow up.
“Fine! I just hate that you see me as some ass**le who only wants women for f**king.”
“Is that what you think? You think I don’t see you as worthy of something way more than a string of women you like, but don’t like enough to share more than your c**k with? You’re not an ass**le at all. But those women you blew through were not worthy of you, and you weren’t being very worthy of yourself. I’m not judging the sex part. I’m judging the part where I stand here on my balcony with my pregnant wife inside being taken care of by the man I love. I know what it means to fit after feeling like I never did my entire life. You deserve that.”
Oh. “Sorry I snapped at you.”
Ben snorted and opened the doors, herding Cope back inside. “Comes with the territory. I snap, you snap, it’s what you do with people you love. Just don’t f**k this up.”
“No pressure or anything.”
Ella figured something was up when Cope went out to see his brother, but she wanted to check in on Erin anyway.
She loved this place. Beyond the initial Oh my god this place is huge impression, it was a home. A home Erin had built with not just one man, but two. It had been an unusual situation, but the longer Ella had known the three, the more sure she was that it was quite simply perfect for them. She’d rarely seen such love and commitment between two people, much less three.
“He said if I was thinking like my old self, I’d be finding myself my own woman or not watching so carefully when Erin went up and down stairs.” Ben’s voice thinned at the very end as Cope’s head nearly blew off.
Cope didn’t really know what to say. What could he say in response to that? He grabbed his brother’s arm. “You know this is not right. And frankly, it’s not about you at all.”
“I know my father intimated I’d be better off if the love of my life fell and lost the baby. I never . . . I don’t even know how to process that.”
Cope’s head reeled at what had been said, at the damage his father had done. “I don’t either, to be honest. But I do know he’s out of order, Ben. He is wrong, and you need to step back before this goes any further. This is not healthy for you. I love you, Mom loves you, Todd, Erin, all our family, blood and not, you have people who wish you only the best. At some point, you’re going to have to let it go. Let him go if he can’t find a way to not be a snarling fool.”
“I know.”
“Still hurts though.” He hugged Ben then, and his brother hugged him back.
“Yes. It does, Andy.”
Ben hadn’t called him Andy in years. His brother was ripped open inside, and who wouldn’t be? Thank God he’d come up to check in. To be there when Ben had needed him.
“You can’t tell Erin. I don’t want her to know. Her blood pressure has been elevated lately. I don’t want any more stress on her. It’s poisonous to imagine anyone wishing that on you. She doesn’t need it.”
“Of course. But she’s going to find out eventually. She’ll be able to tell you’re upset. How are you getting around that?”
Ben heaved a shaky sigh. “She’ll know I’m upset with the situation in general. She can’t imagine—who could?—that he would say such a thing. I just can’t bring this into our life, our family. That child is mine, no matter whose DNA it carries.”
“Of course. No one who knows you would ever think differently.” What outsiders would think was another thing, but none of that mattered just then anyway. “What can I do? Whatever it is, you know if I can do it, I will.”
“You did it, man. You did it.” Ben stubbed the cigarette out and grabbed his glass. “Thanks for listening. I know you’ve tried to help make him see reason.”
“You’re my brother and he . . . Well, I know he loves you, but this is . . . He’s gone round the bend. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” Ben shook his head and stood up straight. “Let’s go inside. Erin will be worried. By the way, how are things with our lovely Ella?”
“They are good, Ben. God, she’s . . . I’m having a really great time getting to know her on this other level. She’s here, now, with Erin. I just asked her out, and she accepted.”
“And then you had to come up here to deal with family crazy. Sorry.” Ben paused before opening the doors. “I like her. She’s different than your usual type.”
“What does that mean? And don’t apologize for needing some f**king support. That’s what brothers do.”
“Why are you so bitchy?”
Good question. “What do you mean my usual type?”
“The one-night-stand type, Andy. Do you deny that?”
“No. But it’s not like they were all bad or terrible.” Or that he was.
“Of course not. Nothing wrong with f**king. But Ella is not that. She’s different. She’s not itinerant. She’s the kind you bring home. Well, maybe to us instead of Mom and Dad. What’s up your ass, anyway? I clearly touched a nerve, but I can’t fix it unless you tell me what I did.”
“You have enough shit to shovel right now. I’m fine.”
His brother just looked at him in the way big brothers did, arms crossed over his chest, one brow up.
“Fine! I just hate that you see me as some ass**le who only wants women for f**king.”
“Is that what you think? You think I don’t see you as worthy of something way more than a string of women you like, but don’t like enough to share more than your c**k with? You’re not an ass**le at all. But those women you blew through were not worthy of you, and you weren’t being very worthy of yourself. I’m not judging the sex part. I’m judging the part where I stand here on my balcony with my pregnant wife inside being taken care of by the man I love. I know what it means to fit after feeling like I never did my entire life. You deserve that.”
Oh. “Sorry I snapped at you.”
Ben snorted and opened the doors, herding Cope back inside. “Comes with the territory. I snap, you snap, it’s what you do with people you love. Just don’t f**k this up.”
“No pressure or anything.”
Ella figured something was up when Cope went out to see his brother, but she wanted to check in on Erin anyway.
She loved this place. Beyond the initial Oh my god this place is huge impression, it was a home. A home Erin had built with not just one man, but two. It had been an unusual situation, but the longer Ella had known the three, the more sure she was that it was quite simply perfect for them. She’d rarely seen such love and commitment between two people, much less three.
