Irresistible In Love
Page 63
It was a good sign that Paige could laugh. “I’ve always known you were stronger than her. So has she, which is why she worked so hard to cut you down.” He ran his hands over her hair, needing to touch her, to know that she was safe and unharmed.
“She didn’t expect me to come back at her. Never thought I would tell her not to call me again unless she wanted to apologize to you and ask for forgiveness.”
For Paige, that was huge. Family was everything to her. It was why she hadn’t deserted Whitney when anyone else would have.
But then, as if some sort of dam suddenly broke inside her, she sobbed, the tears rising so quickly she couldn’t stop them. He couldn’t stop them.
“God, sweetheart, please.” He didn’t have the right words. He could only gather her against him.
“That story I told you about swinging into the creek.” Her voice broke. “I wanted it to always be like that. I wanted to love her. For her to love me. I wanted us to be real sisters. I wanted that so badly that I was actually dying for her to come visit me that weekend at college when you met her. I thought we could actually be different together once we weren’t living in the same house.”
He closed his eyes, feeling her grief, his own, knowing what they’d both lost that weekend.
“And I wanted to do right by my mother, to keep my promise. But I never could. It was impossible. Whitney would never let me.”
He held her, stroking her back. “It wasn’t your fault.” But she needed to let it out. He’d thought his own wounds were deep, but the scars Whitney had left on Paige might even be worse.
She breathed in, out, quickly, then sniffed. “I know I’m not to blame. I think I’ve known it since the day I found out what she did to you.”
And he’d been caught in a vicious loop of believing how wrong it was to be with Paige because she was his sister-in-law. But the only wrong thing was Whitney. Wrong had never been finding pleasure—and peace—in Paige’s arms.
He was so freaking tired of feeling shitty, of feeling guilty, of feeling foolish. Most of all, he was tired of imagining that his future could only get worse, like he was still that little kid hiding in dark corners trying to avoid the beating that was going to come anyway.
With Whitney, he had no doubt that she would fight him in as many dirty, nasty, underhanded ways as she could think of. But though he’d fight back with every ounce of his will, he’d also take the light, the joy, and the sweetness of the present with Paige. Every last moment that he could have with her—and he swore he would appreciate every single one.
He wiped the tears from her cheeks and took Paige’s lips again, slowly, lingeringly, tasting every inch of her mouth. “You’re so fresh, so lovely, so real. You can’t know the number of people I meet who are phonies. Who just want something from me. But you’ve never asked for anything except my friendship. And you gave me yours without question.”
She shook her head. “I’ve always wanted more, Evan.” Yet again, her bravery astounded him as she squarely met his gaze. “I still do.”
He kissed the corner of her eye, the tip of her nose, then her lips. He wanted to give her the promises she needed to hear, but he couldn’t lie to her. The only thing he knew for sure was that he couldn’t walk away.
“You’re the most important person in the world to me, Paige.”
Her smile warmed him, a smile that came even though he hadn’t given her the word love, as she’d given it to him.
“I know I am.” Her hands moved to cover his. “But I love hearing you say it out loud.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you. I can’t stand to even think of that.”
“Then don’t.”
She made it sound so simple.
Was it?
Could it be?
Simple or not, he hauled her up until she could wrap her legs around his waist, locking her bare ankles behind him.
“I love it when you do that,” she said. “When you act like you can’t get enough of me.”
“I can’t.” Nothing had ever been more true. And there was so much more truth she needed to know. “I love that we were friends first before lovers. That I know you so well. That you’re part of my family.”
She kissed him as he carried her into the bedroom, then he let her feet down until she was standing before him.
“I want you so badly, need you so much.” He couldn’t believe what he was about to admit. But he could be honest with Paige. Always. No matter what. “I don’t know where to start to show you how much I need you.”
Whatever he expected her to do or say in response, it wasn’t the way she scrambled back onto the mattress and grinned up at him. “Where do you want to start?”
Sex had never been fun. It had been a minefield like all the other minefields in his life. But even after a harrowing confrontation, after tears, Paige was full of life and playfulness. Damn if he didn’t need that. Badly. They both did, needed to banish the darkness once and for all. Together.
He climbed over her, straddling her body on hands and knees. “Here.” He slid his hand up under her sweater and cupped her breast through the lace of her bra.
“Or,” she said in a naughty voice that revved his engine hotter and faster, “you could start here.” She drew his hand out of her sweater…and over the hot, damp apex of her thighs.
“You always were the smarter of the two of us.” He enjoyed teasing her with his words as much as his touch. “You have too many clothes on.”
“She didn’t expect me to come back at her. Never thought I would tell her not to call me again unless she wanted to apologize to you and ask for forgiveness.”
For Paige, that was huge. Family was everything to her. It was why she hadn’t deserted Whitney when anyone else would have.
But then, as if some sort of dam suddenly broke inside her, she sobbed, the tears rising so quickly she couldn’t stop them. He couldn’t stop them.
“God, sweetheart, please.” He didn’t have the right words. He could only gather her against him.
“That story I told you about swinging into the creek.” Her voice broke. “I wanted it to always be like that. I wanted to love her. For her to love me. I wanted us to be real sisters. I wanted that so badly that I was actually dying for her to come visit me that weekend at college when you met her. I thought we could actually be different together once we weren’t living in the same house.”
He closed his eyes, feeling her grief, his own, knowing what they’d both lost that weekend.
“And I wanted to do right by my mother, to keep my promise. But I never could. It was impossible. Whitney would never let me.”
He held her, stroking her back. “It wasn’t your fault.” But she needed to let it out. He’d thought his own wounds were deep, but the scars Whitney had left on Paige might even be worse.
She breathed in, out, quickly, then sniffed. “I know I’m not to blame. I think I’ve known it since the day I found out what she did to you.”
And he’d been caught in a vicious loop of believing how wrong it was to be with Paige because she was his sister-in-law. But the only wrong thing was Whitney. Wrong had never been finding pleasure—and peace—in Paige’s arms.
He was so freaking tired of feeling shitty, of feeling guilty, of feeling foolish. Most of all, he was tired of imagining that his future could only get worse, like he was still that little kid hiding in dark corners trying to avoid the beating that was going to come anyway.
With Whitney, he had no doubt that she would fight him in as many dirty, nasty, underhanded ways as she could think of. But though he’d fight back with every ounce of his will, he’d also take the light, the joy, and the sweetness of the present with Paige. Every last moment that he could have with her—and he swore he would appreciate every single one.
He wiped the tears from her cheeks and took Paige’s lips again, slowly, lingeringly, tasting every inch of her mouth. “You’re so fresh, so lovely, so real. You can’t know the number of people I meet who are phonies. Who just want something from me. But you’ve never asked for anything except my friendship. And you gave me yours without question.”
She shook her head. “I’ve always wanted more, Evan.” Yet again, her bravery astounded him as she squarely met his gaze. “I still do.”
He kissed the corner of her eye, the tip of her nose, then her lips. He wanted to give her the promises she needed to hear, but he couldn’t lie to her. The only thing he knew for sure was that he couldn’t walk away.
“You’re the most important person in the world to me, Paige.”
Her smile warmed him, a smile that came even though he hadn’t given her the word love, as she’d given it to him.
“I know I am.” Her hands moved to cover his. “But I love hearing you say it out loud.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you. I can’t stand to even think of that.”
“Then don’t.”
She made it sound so simple.
Was it?
Could it be?
Simple or not, he hauled her up until she could wrap her legs around his waist, locking her bare ankles behind him.
“I love it when you do that,” she said. “When you act like you can’t get enough of me.”
“I can’t.” Nothing had ever been more true. And there was so much more truth she needed to know. “I love that we were friends first before lovers. That I know you so well. That you’re part of my family.”
She kissed him as he carried her into the bedroom, then he let her feet down until she was standing before him.
“I want you so badly, need you so much.” He couldn’t believe what he was about to admit. But he could be honest with Paige. Always. No matter what. “I don’t know where to start to show you how much I need you.”
Whatever he expected her to do or say in response, it wasn’t the way she scrambled back onto the mattress and grinned up at him. “Where do you want to start?”
Sex had never been fun. It had been a minefield like all the other minefields in his life. But even after a harrowing confrontation, after tears, Paige was full of life and playfulness. Damn if he didn’t need that. Badly. They both did, needed to banish the darkness once and for all. Together.
He climbed over her, straddling her body on hands and knees. “Here.” He slid his hand up under her sweater and cupped her breast through the lace of her bra.
“Or,” she said in a naughty voice that revved his engine hotter and faster, “you could start here.” She drew his hand out of her sweater…and over the hot, damp apex of her thighs.
“You always were the smarter of the two of us.” He enjoyed teasing her with his words as much as his touch. “You have too many clothes on.”
