Irresistible In Love
Page 67
“This is a very safe environment. You can say absolutely anything to me without fear, Evan. Anything at all.”
His deep gaze pierced her. “I made a huge mistake nine years ago.”
Her face felt overly hot, and her pulse beat against her eardrums as he continued.
“Despite everything Susan and Bob did for me, there was still a part of that little boy who didn’t feel loved, who didn’t think he deserved to be loved, who thought it was his fault that he’d been left behind. And yet I needed love so desperately that it made me blind to what real love was.” He paused. “Right from the beginning, Whitney said everything she thought I wanted to hear. Her tactics were brilliantly insidious. Other women would only use me, she claimed, but not her. She made me believe she was the only one who could fill my deep, dark void. Made me believe that she would never hurt me the way I’d been hurt before.”
Yes, that was Whitney. Absolutely. She figured out a person’s biggest weakness and their deepest need and exploited both. “I wanted to warn you what Whitney was like,” Paige interjected, “but I was jealous. I knew that had to be coloring my emotions. I hoped she might have changed. That maybe finding someone as good as you had worked a miracle.”
“Even if you had warned me, I’m not sure I would have believed you. If there’s anything worse for a guy than admitting he’s weak, I don’t know what it would be. But it’s a fact—I was weak with her. And she knew it.”
“You’re not weak.”
“Not anymore,” he agreed, emotion swimming across his face. “Because of you. Because of your love.”
“Did you know?” Her words were soft. But she had to say them, had to know. “Did you know I loved you all this time?”
“I couldn’t let myself even think about how you felt. I didn’t believe I could ever be good enough to deserve you. Whereas with Whitney…” A muscle jumped in his cheek. “Her darkness matched mine.”
“No.” Paige bristled with outrage at that statement. “Nothing about your insides, nothing about who you are, matches anything about Whitney.”
“I know that now.” Regret was steeped in every line on his face. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see the truth, Paige. To see you.”
She went to him then, tossing out the pretense of being therapist and client, because he was absolutely everything to her. “I love that you finally see your true worth, how good you are. I love that you finally see me and my love. That I don’t have to keep my feelings a secret from you. And that Whitney can’t hurt either of us, because we won’t let her.”
He was holding her on his lap, his arms around her waist, hers around his neck, their lips close enough to touch. “You’re damned right we won’t.” A hit of renewed fury sparked in his eyes. “Today, I kicked her out of our lives.”
Our lives. How she loved the sound of that.
“We went head to head with the lawyers. And she never stood a chance.”
“Of course she didn’t.” Her heart ached for him, though, as she guessed, “Even in battle, you were kind, weren’t you? Too kind.”
“I’m giving her the house, but it was always her house, not mine. The only room I liked was the library. Because of the time you and I spent there together.”
She’d never forget all the precious moments she’d shared with him in that library. When she was just his friend…and he was always so much more to her.
“I’m glad she can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I won’t let her hurt you again either. Not,” he added, “that you need me to protect you. You’re so strong, Paige.”
“I am.” She knew that now, with a certainty that no one and nothing could ever take away from her. “When she came to my condo, she admitted that she knew I was in love with you all along. From the day she met you in my dorm room. She told me it only made it better to take you for herself. To make sure I could never have you.”
“Jesus, Paige.” Grief and guilt welled up in him. “I was so freaking blind.”
“You just wanted to be loved.” She held his face in her hands. “But you always have been. I love you. Susan and Bob love you. Your friends love you.” She wanted to tell him that Theresa loved him too, despite the way she’d hurt him. But for all his epiphanies today, was he ready to hear that one?
“How?” He looked at her in wonder. “How can you be so different from her?”
She stroked her hands along his arms. “She was the baby, while I had to be the responsible one. She felt entitled and privileged because my parents indulged her.” Paige shook her head. “Why on earth do you think I became a psychologist? To figure her out. And to get her to change. But I couldn’t do either.”
“I know how hard that is to accept about someone in your family,” he said. “That they’re a monster who can’t be changed.”
They weren’t talking about Whitney anymore, but about his father. Before she could speak, he brushed the hair back from her face and said, “Talk to me, Paige. I wasn’t ready to listen before, but I am now. I want to know what you think. What you feel. With nothing held back anymore.”
Anyone else would have made their declarations, their apologies, then happily moved on. But Evan wasn’t just anyone. He was a brilliant, brave man. A Maverick.
His deep gaze pierced her. “I made a huge mistake nine years ago.”
Her face felt overly hot, and her pulse beat against her eardrums as he continued.
“Despite everything Susan and Bob did for me, there was still a part of that little boy who didn’t feel loved, who didn’t think he deserved to be loved, who thought it was his fault that he’d been left behind. And yet I needed love so desperately that it made me blind to what real love was.” He paused. “Right from the beginning, Whitney said everything she thought I wanted to hear. Her tactics were brilliantly insidious. Other women would only use me, she claimed, but not her. She made me believe she was the only one who could fill my deep, dark void. Made me believe that she would never hurt me the way I’d been hurt before.”
Yes, that was Whitney. Absolutely. She figured out a person’s biggest weakness and their deepest need and exploited both. “I wanted to warn you what Whitney was like,” Paige interjected, “but I was jealous. I knew that had to be coloring my emotions. I hoped she might have changed. That maybe finding someone as good as you had worked a miracle.”
“Even if you had warned me, I’m not sure I would have believed you. If there’s anything worse for a guy than admitting he’s weak, I don’t know what it would be. But it’s a fact—I was weak with her. And she knew it.”
“You’re not weak.”
“Not anymore,” he agreed, emotion swimming across his face. “Because of you. Because of your love.”
“Did you know?” Her words were soft. But she had to say them, had to know. “Did you know I loved you all this time?”
“I couldn’t let myself even think about how you felt. I didn’t believe I could ever be good enough to deserve you. Whereas with Whitney…” A muscle jumped in his cheek. “Her darkness matched mine.”
“No.” Paige bristled with outrage at that statement. “Nothing about your insides, nothing about who you are, matches anything about Whitney.”
“I know that now.” Regret was steeped in every line on his face. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see the truth, Paige. To see you.”
She went to him then, tossing out the pretense of being therapist and client, because he was absolutely everything to her. “I love that you finally see your true worth, how good you are. I love that you finally see me and my love. That I don’t have to keep my feelings a secret from you. And that Whitney can’t hurt either of us, because we won’t let her.”
He was holding her on his lap, his arms around her waist, hers around his neck, their lips close enough to touch. “You’re damned right we won’t.” A hit of renewed fury sparked in his eyes. “Today, I kicked her out of our lives.”
Our lives. How she loved the sound of that.
“We went head to head with the lawyers. And she never stood a chance.”
“Of course she didn’t.” Her heart ached for him, though, as she guessed, “Even in battle, you were kind, weren’t you? Too kind.”
“I’m giving her the house, but it was always her house, not mine. The only room I liked was the library. Because of the time you and I spent there together.”
She’d never forget all the precious moments she’d shared with him in that library. When she was just his friend…and he was always so much more to her.
“I’m glad she can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I won’t let her hurt you again either. Not,” he added, “that you need me to protect you. You’re so strong, Paige.”
“I am.” She knew that now, with a certainty that no one and nothing could ever take away from her. “When she came to my condo, she admitted that she knew I was in love with you all along. From the day she met you in my dorm room. She told me it only made it better to take you for herself. To make sure I could never have you.”
“Jesus, Paige.” Grief and guilt welled up in him. “I was so freaking blind.”
“You just wanted to be loved.” She held his face in her hands. “But you always have been. I love you. Susan and Bob love you. Your friends love you.” She wanted to tell him that Theresa loved him too, despite the way she’d hurt him. But for all his epiphanies today, was he ready to hear that one?
“How?” He looked at her in wonder. “How can you be so different from her?”
She stroked her hands along his arms. “She was the baby, while I had to be the responsible one. She felt entitled and privileged because my parents indulged her.” Paige shook her head. “Why on earth do you think I became a psychologist? To figure her out. And to get her to change. But I couldn’t do either.”
“I know how hard that is to accept about someone in your family,” he said. “That they’re a monster who can’t be changed.”
They weren’t talking about Whitney anymore, but about his father. Before she could speak, he brushed the hair back from her face and said, “Talk to me, Paige. I wasn’t ready to listen before, but I am now. I want to know what you think. What you feel. With nothing held back anymore.”
Anyone else would have made their declarations, their apologies, then happily moved on. But Evan wasn’t just anyone. He was a brilliant, brave man. A Maverick.
