Irresistible In Love
Page 8
Which was why she should get up from the dining table, and away from Evan, before she said anything she’d regret. It was okay to make sure he understood how much he’d hurt his family with his desertion.
But if he ever found out why it had hurt her so much…
She didn’t have to be a psychologist to know that little piece of forbidden truth wouldn’t help any of them.
“All right, I’ve gotten things off my chest.” She stood. “Now I’m going to enjoy some girl talk with Harper and the rest of the gang.”
She marched from the dining room and back into the herd of Mavericks. But she left a piece of herself behind with Evan.
Just the way she always did, whether she wanted to or not.
* * *
Paige was right. Evan hadn’t simply gone dark—he’d deserted everyone. Especially Susan, the foster mother who’d taken him in when his own mother had abandoned him.
In the living room, Will laughed at something Jeremy said. Sebastian high-fived Jeremy, and Matt ruffled his hair, while Daniel pulled out his phone to take a picture of the group.
Evan had come home, determined to enjoy himself. Yet he was still standing on the other side of a chasm from everyone who mattered to him. All because he was too full of pride—and too ashamed—to admit that he’d been completely duped. His career was based on seeing deep inside a situation, making accurate judgments, having good instincts, assessing things correctly. But he hadn’t been able to see inside his own marriage.
Finding Susan alone in the kitchen, he slipped his arm around her waist. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize, honey. It’s okay.”
He remembered an old movie line, something about love meaning you never had to say you were sorry. He’d always thought that was total crap. Love meant you absolutely had to say you were sorry when you’d been an ass.
“It’s definitely not okay, Mom. I was wrong about a lot of things. Paige woke me up to some hard truths just now.”
Susan glanced at Paige, whom they could see through the open kitchen door. She wasn’t looking at them as she chatted with Harper, but Evan had a feeling Paige knew exactly what was being said in the kitchen right now. She was always able to see through to the heart of people. Unlike him.
Susan’s face softened, a hint of a smile creasing her lips. “I’m glad she woke you up. But I do understand, even if I was worried. I remember when you were a boy how hard it was for you to talk about your feelings. Your way has always been to keep things inside.”
When he’d first come to live with the Spencers at age eleven, after his mother abandoned him and his father gave him away, he hadn’t allowed himself to be part of the family. If he’d felt like Susan was bossing him around, he’d given her the silent treatment. Of course, “bossing him around” had consisted of things like making him take a bath so he didn’t stink, or asking him to remove his muddy boots before he tracked dirt inside. And if he hadn’t been shutting her out, he’d done stupid passive-aggressive stuff, like when she’d asked him to take out the trash, he’d leave the bag just outside the door so that the rotting smell would seep inside. He’d done specifically what she’d asked and no more.
He’d been so afraid to let himself believe he actually belonged with them, no matter how good Susan and Bob were to him. Until their love taught him how to finally trust.
The trust that Whitney had done her damn level best to destroy all over again.
“I still should have called you, should have told you what happened instead of leaving it up to Paige to give you all the whole story. And I should have realized there was something wrong with my marriage long before I did.” He’d been nothing more than a pawn in Whitney’s games. He’d spent the past month trying to figure out how he could have been so gullible…but he still hadn’t found any answers.
Susan shook her head sadly. “I can’t believe she made up the pregnancies, the miscarriages. The pain she caused you. But to have an operation without even telling you?” Her jaw flexed as she gritted her teeth. Susan was always the calm one, totally unruffled by just about anything life had ever thrown at her—and life had thrown a lot. Clenched teeth weren’t her style, but Whitney’s actions had pushed even Susan’s limits. “I made so many excuses for her. So you can’t beat yourself up for not seeing the truth, honey. Because I certainly didn’t see it. She was so convincing.” She sighed, her brow furrowed. “I just hope she won’t keep hurting you now that you’re no longer together.”
“While I was gone, I had my lawyer draw up the divorce papers. I’m letting her have the flat in San Francisco and the apartment in New York.” She’d picked out both, and the spaces had frankly always left him more than a little cold. “But the business stuff is all separate, so she can’t touch it.” Thank God.
“I’m glad you protected your business ventures. I never thought I’d have to say that. But then, I didn’t realize she was so devious.” Susan actually shivered, before curling her arm through his. “I want you to remember that we’re here for you while you go through this. You don’t have to do it alone. We all love you.”
He pulled Susan in close, hugging her off her feet. “I won’t shut you out again, I promise. And I’m done giving Whitney even one more grain of our lives.”
But instead of nodding, Susan frowned. “Some things are easier said than done. Especially after we’ve spent so much of our lives with someone, good or bad.” She glanced toward the living room. “Paige was wonderful while you were gone. She knew all the right things to say. I’m sure she wants to help you through this difficult time too.”
But if he ever found out why it had hurt her so much…
She didn’t have to be a psychologist to know that little piece of forbidden truth wouldn’t help any of them.
“All right, I’ve gotten things off my chest.” She stood. “Now I’m going to enjoy some girl talk with Harper and the rest of the gang.”
She marched from the dining room and back into the herd of Mavericks. But she left a piece of herself behind with Evan.
Just the way she always did, whether she wanted to or not.
* * *
Paige was right. Evan hadn’t simply gone dark—he’d deserted everyone. Especially Susan, the foster mother who’d taken him in when his own mother had abandoned him.
In the living room, Will laughed at something Jeremy said. Sebastian high-fived Jeremy, and Matt ruffled his hair, while Daniel pulled out his phone to take a picture of the group.
Evan had come home, determined to enjoy himself. Yet he was still standing on the other side of a chasm from everyone who mattered to him. All because he was too full of pride—and too ashamed—to admit that he’d been completely duped. His career was based on seeing deep inside a situation, making accurate judgments, having good instincts, assessing things correctly. But he hadn’t been able to see inside his own marriage.
Finding Susan alone in the kitchen, he slipped his arm around her waist. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize, honey. It’s okay.”
He remembered an old movie line, something about love meaning you never had to say you were sorry. He’d always thought that was total crap. Love meant you absolutely had to say you were sorry when you’d been an ass.
“It’s definitely not okay, Mom. I was wrong about a lot of things. Paige woke me up to some hard truths just now.”
Susan glanced at Paige, whom they could see through the open kitchen door. She wasn’t looking at them as she chatted with Harper, but Evan had a feeling Paige knew exactly what was being said in the kitchen right now. She was always able to see through to the heart of people. Unlike him.
Susan’s face softened, a hint of a smile creasing her lips. “I’m glad she woke you up. But I do understand, even if I was worried. I remember when you were a boy how hard it was for you to talk about your feelings. Your way has always been to keep things inside.”
When he’d first come to live with the Spencers at age eleven, after his mother abandoned him and his father gave him away, he hadn’t allowed himself to be part of the family. If he’d felt like Susan was bossing him around, he’d given her the silent treatment. Of course, “bossing him around” had consisted of things like making him take a bath so he didn’t stink, or asking him to remove his muddy boots before he tracked dirt inside. And if he hadn’t been shutting her out, he’d done stupid passive-aggressive stuff, like when she’d asked him to take out the trash, he’d leave the bag just outside the door so that the rotting smell would seep inside. He’d done specifically what she’d asked and no more.
He’d been so afraid to let himself believe he actually belonged with them, no matter how good Susan and Bob were to him. Until their love taught him how to finally trust.
The trust that Whitney had done her damn level best to destroy all over again.
“I still should have called you, should have told you what happened instead of leaving it up to Paige to give you all the whole story. And I should have realized there was something wrong with my marriage long before I did.” He’d been nothing more than a pawn in Whitney’s games. He’d spent the past month trying to figure out how he could have been so gullible…but he still hadn’t found any answers.
Susan shook her head sadly. “I can’t believe she made up the pregnancies, the miscarriages. The pain she caused you. But to have an operation without even telling you?” Her jaw flexed as she gritted her teeth. Susan was always the calm one, totally unruffled by just about anything life had ever thrown at her—and life had thrown a lot. Clenched teeth weren’t her style, but Whitney’s actions had pushed even Susan’s limits. “I made so many excuses for her. So you can’t beat yourself up for not seeing the truth, honey. Because I certainly didn’t see it. She was so convincing.” She sighed, her brow furrowed. “I just hope she won’t keep hurting you now that you’re no longer together.”
“While I was gone, I had my lawyer draw up the divorce papers. I’m letting her have the flat in San Francisco and the apartment in New York.” She’d picked out both, and the spaces had frankly always left him more than a little cold. “But the business stuff is all separate, so she can’t touch it.” Thank God.
“I’m glad you protected your business ventures. I never thought I’d have to say that. But then, I didn’t realize she was so devious.” Susan actually shivered, before curling her arm through his. “I want you to remember that we’re here for you while you go through this. You don’t have to do it alone. We all love you.”
He pulled Susan in close, hugging her off her feet. “I won’t shut you out again, I promise. And I’m done giving Whitney even one more grain of our lives.”
But instead of nodding, Susan frowned. “Some things are easier said than done. Especially after we’ve spent so much of our lives with someone, good or bad.” She glanced toward the living room. “Paige was wonderful while you were gone. She knew all the right things to say. I’m sure she wants to help you through this difficult time too.”
