Jaded
Page 56
“Corrigan,” I said weakly and crumbled to the floor.
“Hey,” he soothed as he knelt beside me. “What’s wrong? Hey, hey.”
I shook my head, it was all I could do, and whispered, “I just lost him.”
Corrigan sighed and sat beside me. He flung an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side.
I burrowed into his side as he said against my forehead, “No. No, you didn’t.”
“I did. I had sex with someone else. I screwed up, Corrigan. I really did.”
“No,” he soothed again as his hand brushed my hair back. “Bryce loves you, Sheldon. Like true, gut-wrenching, love. One screw-up and he’s not going to leave. He could’ve walked a long time ago, but he hasn’t.”
I asked, hoarse, “How do you know?”
“Because whenever you think that he’s gone off with some girl, he’s usually on the phone with me talking about how he should actually do it. He should screw half the girls that you think he does, but he never does. He’s just angry and tired of waiting. And he doesn’t do it because Bryce loves you and he’s waiting for your self-destruction to stop.”
“Self-destruction?”
“Yeah,” Corrigan laughed. “That’s what Logan told me this morning. Last night, I told her a little about what else is going on. Logan was amazed that you could still come to school. She said she would’ve broken down and end up in the asylum or something.”
He laughed. “She said you’re made of strong stuff and, no wonder, because of all that’s happened to you.”
“What? The notes and Leisha?”
“No,” he murmured, tenderly. “Losing your parents. She said that Miss Connors told her once that the worst thing that could happen to a kid is to never be loved. That’s the absolute worst thing. She said Miss Connors told her that every kid has a right to be loved and when they’re not—it’s never their fault.”
It wasn’t my fault.
Corrigan shifted away and remarked, “Um…about that…Miss Connors said that we were supposed to make an appointment in three days or something, but she’s booked so…”
“What?”
“I signed up for her first available slot and it’s…”
“Right now,” I finished for him, numb.
He laughed nervously and watched me. He even scooted away from me.
“I have to go and see a counselor like this,” I said flatly.
“Well…” Corrigan shrugged.
“Fine. Let’s do this.” And just as abruptly, I was up and through the door. I didn’t care what my face looked like, if they could see the tears or not—I wanted this hour done and over with.
Bryce was already in the office, leaning in the same spot, but unlike the last time, he didn’t straighten when we walked inside.
He ignored us.
Mena sat beside him, her face closed to everyone else.
When we traipsed in, Miss Connors looked us over and announced, “Well…is there special significance that Corrigan is in the middle this time and Sheldon isn’t?”
Corrigan didn’t say anything. Neither did I.
Bryce shrugged and commented as he looked out the window, “No significance.”
Her eyes looked us over again and studied each one before she harrumphed and leaned back in her chair.
“You know,” she spoke flatly. “If I’d judge from our last session, I’d think that this was another dog and pony show for me. So…is it? I come down on you guys about protecting Sheldon, so you put Corrigan in the middle this time? Is it going to be you, Bryce, next time?”
Bryce failed to react and Miss Connors’ eyes sparked at that.
She asked, sharply, “Sheldon…I was told that you skipped every class yesterday. Did you?”
“No,” I murmured and looked at the door.
“Really? Because I have the attendance sheets.”
“I didn’t. I went to first period.”
“Right.” She sighed and asked, “So how about you, Bryce? You were missing all day yesterday. Where were you?”
He laughed, chokingly, and shook his head. Our eyes met briefly and we both looked away.
He’d been inside of me. And then someone else had taken his place.
“Fine,” Miss Connors took another deep breath. “Someone wanna clue me in on the very large, very white, invisible elephant that’s in this room?”
Crickets chirped.
“Alright. No one wants to tell me. I’m not going to ream you out like yesterday.”
She sighed and reached for a book. “How about today we’ll just read a story. You guys can sit and listen. It’s probably appropriate and if you don’t pass my quiz at the end, I’m going to require daily sessions.”
“What?”
Corrigan asked.
“Ah!” Miss Connors smiled. “And the middle-man speaks. Now, story time so sit and listen, little children.”
She opened the book and sighed as she sat straight, “So there was once a little girl fish, named Spooky, who loved to swim, but she’d never been taught to swim. And there was this frog named Harry Green. He liked to chirp to the friendly pond that he called home.” Miss Connors paused dramatically…
“Are you serious?” Bryce asked, annoyed.
She looked at him with chilled eyes. “No. Talk time was earlier. This is story time. So zip it.”
He opened his mouth again—“Zip it,” she cut him off. “And if you’re going to complain again—whip it!”
Corrigan laughed.
“Mr. Raimler,” Miss Connors chastised.
“Why am I Sheldon? Corrigan is Mr. Raimler? And Bryce is Bryce Scout?”
“Can you three please make up your minds? I’m not a puppet for you to string along. If you want to talk, let’s hear what the white elephant is and if you don’t—you’re going to listen to my stories.”
“Your stories?” Corrigan asked, eyebrows arched.
“Elephant or story. Your choice.” She raised her own eyebrows to match his.
“Story,” Bryce said automatically.
“Elephant,” Corrigan voted.
“I had sex with Denton Steele,” I named the elephant and startled myself.
Without missing a beat, Miss Connors remarked, “Well, that makes sense.” She was serious.
“Hey,” he soothed as he knelt beside me. “What’s wrong? Hey, hey.”
I shook my head, it was all I could do, and whispered, “I just lost him.”
Corrigan sighed and sat beside me. He flung an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side.
I burrowed into his side as he said against my forehead, “No. No, you didn’t.”
“I did. I had sex with someone else. I screwed up, Corrigan. I really did.”
“No,” he soothed again as his hand brushed my hair back. “Bryce loves you, Sheldon. Like true, gut-wrenching, love. One screw-up and he’s not going to leave. He could’ve walked a long time ago, but he hasn’t.”
I asked, hoarse, “How do you know?”
“Because whenever you think that he’s gone off with some girl, he’s usually on the phone with me talking about how he should actually do it. He should screw half the girls that you think he does, but he never does. He’s just angry and tired of waiting. And he doesn’t do it because Bryce loves you and he’s waiting for your self-destruction to stop.”
“Self-destruction?”
“Yeah,” Corrigan laughed. “That’s what Logan told me this morning. Last night, I told her a little about what else is going on. Logan was amazed that you could still come to school. She said she would’ve broken down and end up in the asylum or something.”
He laughed. “She said you’re made of strong stuff and, no wonder, because of all that’s happened to you.”
“What? The notes and Leisha?”
“No,” he murmured, tenderly. “Losing your parents. She said that Miss Connors told her once that the worst thing that could happen to a kid is to never be loved. That’s the absolute worst thing. She said Miss Connors told her that every kid has a right to be loved and when they’re not—it’s never their fault.”
It wasn’t my fault.
Corrigan shifted away and remarked, “Um…about that…Miss Connors said that we were supposed to make an appointment in three days or something, but she’s booked so…”
“What?”
“I signed up for her first available slot and it’s…”
“Right now,” I finished for him, numb.
He laughed nervously and watched me. He even scooted away from me.
“I have to go and see a counselor like this,” I said flatly.
“Well…” Corrigan shrugged.
“Fine. Let’s do this.” And just as abruptly, I was up and through the door. I didn’t care what my face looked like, if they could see the tears or not—I wanted this hour done and over with.
Bryce was already in the office, leaning in the same spot, but unlike the last time, he didn’t straighten when we walked inside.
He ignored us.
Mena sat beside him, her face closed to everyone else.
When we traipsed in, Miss Connors looked us over and announced, “Well…is there special significance that Corrigan is in the middle this time and Sheldon isn’t?”
Corrigan didn’t say anything. Neither did I.
Bryce shrugged and commented as he looked out the window, “No significance.”
Her eyes looked us over again and studied each one before she harrumphed and leaned back in her chair.
“You know,” she spoke flatly. “If I’d judge from our last session, I’d think that this was another dog and pony show for me. So…is it? I come down on you guys about protecting Sheldon, so you put Corrigan in the middle this time? Is it going to be you, Bryce, next time?”
Bryce failed to react and Miss Connors’ eyes sparked at that.
She asked, sharply, “Sheldon…I was told that you skipped every class yesterday. Did you?”
“No,” I murmured and looked at the door.
“Really? Because I have the attendance sheets.”
“I didn’t. I went to first period.”
“Right.” She sighed and asked, “So how about you, Bryce? You were missing all day yesterday. Where were you?”
He laughed, chokingly, and shook his head. Our eyes met briefly and we both looked away.
He’d been inside of me. And then someone else had taken his place.
“Fine,” Miss Connors took another deep breath. “Someone wanna clue me in on the very large, very white, invisible elephant that’s in this room?”
Crickets chirped.
“Alright. No one wants to tell me. I’m not going to ream you out like yesterday.”
She sighed and reached for a book. “How about today we’ll just read a story. You guys can sit and listen. It’s probably appropriate and if you don’t pass my quiz at the end, I’m going to require daily sessions.”
“What?”
Corrigan asked.
“Ah!” Miss Connors smiled. “And the middle-man speaks. Now, story time so sit and listen, little children.”
She opened the book and sighed as she sat straight, “So there was once a little girl fish, named Spooky, who loved to swim, but she’d never been taught to swim. And there was this frog named Harry Green. He liked to chirp to the friendly pond that he called home.” Miss Connors paused dramatically…
“Are you serious?” Bryce asked, annoyed.
She looked at him with chilled eyes. “No. Talk time was earlier. This is story time. So zip it.”
He opened his mouth again—“Zip it,” she cut him off. “And if you’re going to complain again—whip it!”
Corrigan laughed.
“Mr. Raimler,” Miss Connors chastised.
“Why am I Sheldon? Corrigan is Mr. Raimler? And Bryce is Bryce Scout?”
“Can you three please make up your minds? I’m not a puppet for you to string along. If you want to talk, let’s hear what the white elephant is and if you don’t—you’re going to listen to my stories.”
“Your stories?” Corrigan asked, eyebrows arched.
“Elephant or story. Your choice.” She raised her own eyebrows to match his.
“Story,” Bryce said automatically.
“Elephant,” Corrigan voted.
“I had sex with Denton Steele,” I named the elephant and startled myself.
Without missing a beat, Miss Connors remarked, “Well, that makes sense.” She was serious.
