Jake Understood
Page 37
“Tell me you weren’t going over it in your head just now in the shower.”
“Fuck yes, I was.”
“I know I don’t owe you an explanation, but I care about you, and you were obviously upset by it. I wanted to be honest so that you weren’t wasting your time contemplating what I meant.”
Guilt was creeping in fast. I’d given her so little honesty in return because of my own fears. I’d taught her to face her fears, and I’d been running from mine to avoid losing her.
“Your honesty is way more than I deserve, Nina.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’m so afraid to hurt you.”
“You’re scaring me. I don’t understand. Please talk to me.” She begged, “Please.”
I placed my hand on her face and cupped her cheek. “I will. I promise.”
After Christmas.
CHAPTER 14
Past
Sixty-Nine.
There’s a reason universe rhymes with perverse. The stars aligned, and that number was just a bonus when Nina brought home that exact grade for her final exam. Despite the crappy score, I had prayed so hard that we would get one more excursion together before she had to leave, especially since nothing would be the same once I told her all about Ivy after Christmas.
When she came to my room to break the news about the test, I wasted no time in going online to purchase our tickets.
It was 4:30 a.m. I knew Nina would be freaking out and unable to sleep. I’d purposely left her an origami bat last night with a message that gave away the fact that I’d be taking her to Chicago.
It was just too exciting for me to hold in, but that wasn’t the main reason I decided to tell her. These exercises were supposed to be kept secret up until her perceived moment of doom. However¸ since this would be her very first plane ride, I felt the need to give her a heads up this time.
I knocked on her bedroom door. “Nina, the cab’s here. We have to leave.”
Her face looked white as a ghost, and she had bags under her eyes. “I don’t think I can go through with this.”
“I promise it’ll be okay. I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“I’ve had nightmares about flying ever since I was a kid.”
“You do realize how safe air travel is? We’re in greater danger driving to the airport.”
“Then, I’ll seriously wish for an accident to prevent me from having to get on that plane.”
“Nina, the cab is waiting. Come. I’ve got you. Everything is gonna be fine. I can’t wait to show you where I grew up.”
Her breathing was shaky as she let me take her cold hand.
Traffic was light, and it was still dark out. The ride to the airport was far different than the last time Nina and I were in a cab together. Her body was stiff as a board as she sat away from me and stared straight ahead at the early morning news playing on the small television screen behind the driver’s seat. Her body language was no different than if I’d been holding a gun to her head. I was damn proud of her for not refusing to come, though. The choice was always still hers. That proved she trusted me and wanted to overcome her fears. She was a hell of a lot braver than I was in facing my own.
I paid the driver and led a reluctant Nina out of the cab. I’d brought my backpack with some snacks, music and other tricks, but since we wouldn’t be staying the night, Nina only had a purse.
As we stood in line at the ticket counter, her body trembled. She was going to need my comfort, both mentally and physically. Just for today, I needed to throw whatever rules I’d had about not touching her out the window. As I rubbed her shoulders to calm her down, she let out a deep sigh upon my touch. As always, she was so responsive to me, which I loved.
I hated how uncomfortable she was and vowed that once we got to our gate, everything in my power would be done to make her feel better. We were early, so there would be a lot of time to kill.
At security, an alarm went off when Nina passed through the detector, so she was pulled aside. Under any other circumstances, watching her being frisked by another woman would have been hot, but it pissed me off because it was putting her further on edge.
We finally got to the seating area with an hour to spare before the flight. I reluctantly left her sitting alone while I bought some things from the shop across the way.
When I returned, I handed her the bag. “Here.”
“What’s this?”
“Some survival items for you.”
She took the candy out first. “Pop Rocks?”
“To counter your ear popping. These cancel it out. Pop some in your mouth. You won’t even notice it.”
“I heart New York underwear?”
I grinned. “In case you pee your pants again.”
She wasn’t laughing, perhaps because her pissing herself was a likelier scenario than either of us wanted to admit.
Next, she took out a small paperback I bought. It had two guys and a girl on the cover. “Midnight Ménage?”
“Just some kinky shit to get your mind off things.” I wiggled my eyebrows. “I can read it to you if you want.” She smiled for the first time all morning. “Nina Kennedy, is that a smile? You dirty little minx.”
She took out the last item. “A teddy bear?”
“He’ll keep you company if I have to get up to use the bathroom.”
A hint of another smile spread across her lips. “Jake…”
I took the items. “I’ll put everything in my bag for you.”
“Fuck yes, I was.”
“I know I don’t owe you an explanation, but I care about you, and you were obviously upset by it. I wanted to be honest so that you weren’t wasting your time contemplating what I meant.”
Guilt was creeping in fast. I’d given her so little honesty in return because of my own fears. I’d taught her to face her fears, and I’d been running from mine to avoid losing her.
“Your honesty is way more than I deserve, Nina.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’m so afraid to hurt you.”
“You’re scaring me. I don’t understand. Please talk to me.” She begged, “Please.”
I placed my hand on her face and cupped her cheek. “I will. I promise.”
After Christmas.
CHAPTER 14
Past
Sixty-Nine.
There’s a reason universe rhymes with perverse. The stars aligned, and that number was just a bonus when Nina brought home that exact grade for her final exam. Despite the crappy score, I had prayed so hard that we would get one more excursion together before she had to leave, especially since nothing would be the same once I told her all about Ivy after Christmas.
When she came to my room to break the news about the test, I wasted no time in going online to purchase our tickets.
It was 4:30 a.m. I knew Nina would be freaking out and unable to sleep. I’d purposely left her an origami bat last night with a message that gave away the fact that I’d be taking her to Chicago.
It was just too exciting for me to hold in, but that wasn’t the main reason I decided to tell her. These exercises were supposed to be kept secret up until her perceived moment of doom. However¸ since this would be her very first plane ride, I felt the need to give her a heads up this time.
I knocked on her bedroom door. “Nina, the cab’s here. We have to leave.”
Her face looked white as a ghost, and she had bags under her eyes. “I don’t think I can go through with this.”
“I promise it’ll be okay. I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“I’ve had nightmares about flying ever since I was a kid.”
“You do realize how safe air travel is? We’re in greater danger driving to the airport.”
“Then, I’ll seriously wish for an accident to prevent me from having to get on that plane.”
“Nina, the cab is waiting. Come. I’ve got you. Everything is gonna be fine. I can’t wait to show you where I grew up.”
Her breathing was shaky as she let me take her cold hand.
Traffic was light, and it was still dark out. The ride to the airport was far different than the last time Nina and I were in a cab together. Her body was stiff as a board as she sat away from me and stared straight ahead at the early morning news playing on the small television screen behind the driver’s seat. Her body language was no different than if I’d been holding a gun to her head. I was damn proud of her for not refusing to come, though. The choice was always still hers. That proved she trusted me and wanted to overcome her fears. She was a hell of a lot braver than I was in facing my own.
I paid the driver and led a reluctant Nina out of the cab. I’d brought my backpack with some snacks, music and other tricks, but since we wouldn’t be staying the night, Nina only had a purse.
As we stood in line at the ticket counter, her body trembled. She was going to need my comfort, both mentally and physically. Just for today, I needed to throw whatever rules I’d had about not touching her out the window. As I rubbed her shoulders to calm her down, she let out a deep sigh upon my touch. As always, she was so responsive to me, which I loved.
I hated how uncomfortable she was and vowed that once we got to our gate, everything in my power would be done to make her feel better. We were early, so there would be a lot of time to kill.
At security, an alarm went off when Nina passed through the detector, so she was pulled aside. Under any other circumstances, watching her being frisked by another woman would have been hot, but it pissed me off because it was putting her further on edge.
We finally got to the seating area with an hour to spare before the flight. I reluctantly left her sitting alone while I bought some things from the shop across the way.
When I returned, I handed her the bag. “Here.”
“What’s this?”
“Some survival items for you.”
She took the candy out first. “Pop Rocks?”
“To counter your ear popping. These cancel it out. Pop some in your mouth. You won’t even notice it.”
“I heart New York underwear?”
I grinned. “In case you pee your pants again.”
She wasn’t laughing, perhaps because her pissing herself was a likelier scenario than either of us wanted to admit.
Next, she took out a small paperback I bought. It had two guys and a girl on the cover. “Midnight Ménage?”
“Just some kinky shit to get your mind off things.” I wiggled my eyebrows. “I can read it to you if you want.” She smiled for the first time all morning. “Nina Kennedy, is that a smile? You dirty little minx.”
She took out the last item. “A teddy bear?”
“He’ll keep you company if I have to get up to use the bathroom.”
A hint of another smile spread across her lips. “Jake…”
I took the items. “I’ll put everything in my bag for you.”
