Jake Undone
Page 40
“Come on, Nina. I thought you were over that.”
“I thought I was too…but…I am just not in the mood.”
“Can you do this for me? I want to enjoy the view of the city with my family. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do with you.”
I looked into his hopeful eyes and just couldn’t say no.
I took a deep breath in. “Alright…okay, let’s do it.”
He was beaming and led the way through the front doors. We paid for tickets so that we didn’t have to wait in the long lines.
I closed my eyes the entire elevator ride up and breathed through it. Even though I was able to get inside one now, it still made me uncomfortable. With everything I had been through in the past year, my old phobias had pretty much dissipated, having taken a back seat to everything else. That didn’t mean I was ever going to love elevators or heights or planes. The important thing was that I could now face those things if I needed to.
When we finally got onto the main observation deck, the view was spectacular since it was a clear day. Of course, being up so high still made me uneasy, but when I looked at Jake’s expression as he stared out over the city, it was all worth it.
We were on the east side facing Brooklyn. Jake spoke softly to A.J. “See over there…that’s where Mommy and Daddy lived when we met. I thank God everyday that He brought her to me.”
Then, it hit me: why he had brought me up here. He was going to propose to me.
This was it.
My pulse was going ballistic as I looked over at Jake who was looking straight ahead taking in the view. He would point things out to me, and I would nod along, wondering when he was going to do it and how he was going to transition all of this into a proposal. After about fifteen minutes, he put his arm around me and said, “You ready to head back to the hotel, babe? It’s almost time to check out.”
I bit my lip and nodded silently, suddenly feeling stupid and realizing that I should have known better. It would take a lot more than one night of normalcy to get him to trust me enough to propose again. Or maybe, he would stick to his word and never ask me for as long as he lived.
Either way, this wasn’t going to change the surprise I had in store for him tonight.
***
We had about an hour before we had to check out of the hotel, and that would give me just enough time to feed the baby and pack up our stuff before we left to go home.
Jake still had A.J. strapped to his chest as he held the hotel elevator open for me.
I closed my eyes and yawned as the elevator began rising, and then it came.
A jolt.
I grabbed onto his shirt. “Jake…what just happened?”
A wide smile spread across his face, and I soon realized his finger was on the stop button. This was an apparent reenactment of our “first time.”
“Where’s the champagne?” I joked.
“No champagne today, baby.”
“What are you doing, Jake?”
“Remember that day? You know, I was starting to fall in love with you, even then. That mellow song I played…I was trying to tell you my feelings, even though I thought I could never have you.”
“I loved that song,” I whispered, tears starting to form in my eyes.
“You and A.J. are my entire world. The past year and a half with you has given me back every last piece of innocence I lost in the years before and then some. At this point in my life, I would do anything for you. If you told me today, that you couldn’t accept my continuing to be there for Ivy, then I would have no choice but to let that part of my life go, no matter how guilty I felt. You love me enough to make sure that I don’t ever have to choose, that I don’t ever have live with guilt or regret. I know it’s not easy for you when I leave you sitting on the couch breastfeeding him to go see my ex-wife. I’ve always seen the sadness in your eyes. You’ve dealt with it…for me. There is not one time I walk out the door on those days where my heart doesn’t ache with love for you. You are strong enough to know deep down that my looking out for her doesn’t change how much I love you. You have given me a life that I could have never imagined…a dream I gave up on years ago, because I never thought it would ever be possible to meet someone who loved me enough to accept everything that came along with me. I wouldn’t change one painful thing about my life, if it meant not ending up right here in this stuck elevator with my family.”
I closed my eyes for a brief moment, overcome with emotion. When I opened them, I noticed that Jake had slipped something into our son’s hand. It was a paper bird. He hadn’t made one of those for me since before A.J. was born. This one wasn’t black…it was white: a dove.
“I told you I wasn’t going to propose to you again. I meant it,” he said.
He must have sensed the disappointed look on my face, because he rubbed my cheek and smiled.
“But I didn’t say he wouldn’t do it.”
My eyes were welling up.
Oh my God.
“You have something for me, little man?” My heart was pounding as I took the dove that was now crinkled, from A.J.’s tiny fingers and opened it.
See this guy...Jake?
I want you to cut him a break.
Not just cuz he’s my dad…
But because he loves you like mad.
He said he was done asking you to be his bride.
Well, Mommy…he lied.
After everything we’ve been through…
He still really wants to marry you.
Look at him…he’s a mess.
Please tell him you’ll say yes.
He was a mess, a beautiful one, with tears in his eyes, as I pulled him into me, careful not to crush A.J.
“Yes…yes…a million times…yes,” I said through my own tears.
He pressed his forehead to mine. “I know you said we should wait. Seeing Skylar and Mitch yesterday reminded me that life is short, and I don’t want to wait one second longer to marry the love of my life.”
I wiped his eyes. “I wouldn’t change anything either, Jake…the good or the bad. What would moments as perfect as this mean with nothing to compare them to? Every bit of pain it took to get here was worth it.”
“I didn’t have time to get a ring. I actually went looking while you were out with your friends but couldn’t find the right one in time. I’ll take you shopping in Boston.”
Perfect timing.
“No need,” I said unable to contain my joy.
“What do you mean…no need?”
I had been hiding my left hand in my sleeve for the past couple of hours. I lifted it to show his name tattooed on my ring finger in the same font as the ink of my name on his own.
His eyes lit up in pure shock. “What the…when did you do that?”
“I cancelled the coffee today. This was something I needed to do, and you gave me the perfect opportunity.” I smiled. “It’s permanent, you know.”
“Yeah.” He lifted my hand to his mouth. “So are we, baby. So are we.”
“I love you so much,” I said.
“And I love you.” He kissed me then turned to A.J. who was cooing. “And you, my little wingman…I love you to the moon.”
“I thought I was too…but…I am just not in the mood.”
“Can you do this for me? I want to enjoy the view of the city with my family. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do with you.”
I looked into his hopeful eyes and just couldn’t say no.
I took a deep breath in. “Alright…okay, let’s do it.”
He was beaming and led the way through the front doors. We paid for tickets so that we didn’t have to wait in the long lines.
I closed my eyes the entire elevator ride up and breathed through it. Even though I was able to get inside one now, it still made me uncomfortable. With everything I had been through in the past year, my old phobias had pretty much dissipated, having taken a back seat to everything else. That didn’t mean I was ever going to love elevators or heights or planes. The important thing was that I could now face those things if I needed to.
When we finally got onto the main observation deck, the view was spectacular since it was a clear day. Of course, being up so high still made me uneasy, but when I looked at Jake’s expression as he stared out over the city, it was all worth it.
We were on the east side facing Brooklyn. Jake spoke softly to A.J. “See over there…that’s where Mommy and Daddy lived when we met. I thank God everyday that He brought her to me.”
Then, it hit me: why he had brought me up here. He was going to propose to me.
This was it.
My pulse was going ballistic as I looked over at Jake who was looking straight ahead taking in the view. He would point things out to me, and I would nod along, wondering when he was going to do it and how he was going to transition all of this into a proposal. After about fifteen minutes, he put his arm around me and said, “You ready to head back to the hotel, babe? It’s almost time to check out.”
I bit my lip and nodded silently, suddenly feeling stupid and realizing that I should have known better. It would take a lot more than one night of normalcy to get him to trust me enough to propose again. Or maybe, he would stick to his word and never ask me for as long as he lived.
Either way, this wasn’t going to change the surprise I had in store for him tonight.
***
We had about an hour before we had to check out of the hotel, and that would give me just enough time to feed the baby and pack up our stuff before we left to go home.
Jake still had A.J. strapped to his chest as he held the hotel elevator open for me.
I closed my eyes and yawned as the elevator began rising, and then it came.
A jolt.
I grabbed onto his shirt. “Jake…what just happened?”
A wide smile spread across his face, and I soon realized his finger was on the stop button. This was an apparent reenactment of our “first time.”
“Where’s the champagne?” I joked.
“No champagne today, baby.”
“What are you doing, Jake?”
“Remember that day? You know, I was starting to fall in love with you, even then. That mellow song I played…I was trying to tell you my feelings, even though I thought I could never have you.”
“I loved that song,” I whispered, tears starting to form in my eyes.
“You and A.J. are my entire world. The past year and a half with you has given me back every last piece of innocence I lost in the years before and then some. At this point in my life, I would do anything for you. If you told me today, that you couldn’t accept my continuing to be there for Ivy, then I would have no choice but to let that part of my life go, no matter how guilty I felt. You love me enough to make sure that I don’t ever have to choose, that I don’t ever have live with guilt or regret. I know it’s not easy for you when I leave you sitting on the couch breastfeeding him to go see my ex-wife. I’ve always seen the sadness in your eyes. You’ve dealt with it…for me. There is not one time I walk out the door on those days where my heart doesn’t ache with love for you. You are strong enough to know deep down that my looking out for her doesn’t change how much I love you. You have given me a life that I could have never imagined…a dream I gave up on years ago, because I never thought it would ever be possible to meet someone who loved me enough to accept everything that came along with me. I wouldn’t change one painful thing about my life, if it meant not ending up right here in this stuck elevator with my family.”
I closed my eyes for a brief moment, overcome with emotion. When I opened them, I noticed that Jake had slipped something into our son’s hand. It was a paper bird. He hadn’t made one of those for me since before A.J. was born. This one wasn’t black…it was white: a dove.
“I told you I wasn’t going to propose to you again. I meant it,” he said.
He must have sensed the disappointed look on my face, because he rubbed my cheek and smiled.
“But I didn’t say he wouldn’t do it.”
My eyes were welling up.
Oh my God.
“You have something for me, little man?” My heart was pounding as I took the dove that was now crinkled, from A.J.’s tiny fingers and opened it.
See this guy...Jake?
I want you to cut him a break.
Not just cuz he’s my dad…
But because he loves you like mad.
He said he was done asking you to be his bride.
Well, Mommy…he lied.
After everything we’ve been through…
He still really wants to marry you.
Look at him…he’s a mess.
Please tell him you’ll say yes.
He was a mess, a beautiful one, with tears in his eyes, as I pulled him into me, careful not to crush A.J.
“Yes…yes…a million times…yes,” I said through my own tears.
He pressed his forehead to mine. “I know you said we should wait. Seeing Skylar and Mitch yesterday reminded me that life is short, and I don’t want to wait one second longer to marry the love of my life.”
I wiped his eyes. “I wouldn’t change anything either, Jake…the good or the bad. What would moments as perfect as this mean with nothing to compare them to? Every bit of pain it took to get here was worth it.”
“I didn’t have time to get a ring. I actually went looking while you were out with your friends but couldn’t find the right one in time. I’ll take you shopping in Boston.”
Perfect timing.
“No need,” I said unable to contain my joy.
“What do you mean…no need?”
I had been hiding my left hand in my sleeve for the past couple of hours. I lifted it to show his name tattooed on my ring finger in the same font as the ink of my name on his own.
His eyes lit up in pure shock. “What the…when did you do that?”
“I cancelled the coffee today. This was something I needed to do, and you gave me the perfect opportunity.” I smiled. “It’s permanent, you know.”
“Yeah.” He lifted my hand to his mouth. “So are we, baby. So are we.”
“I love you so much,” I said.
“And I love you.” He kissed me then turned to A.J. who was cooing. “And you, my little wingman…I love you to the moon.”
