Kaleidoscope
Page 41
I cut him off with, “Let me think about it,” then I moved to change the subject, “Can we talk about what happened at the station now?”
We hadn’t talked about that. That was because, when he and Chace got back, there were women to entertain and men working. Jacob and Chace joined the boys in the attic immediately.
And I wasn’t wrong. It took longer than an hour for the guys to install my insulation, but by midafternoon the entire job was done.
Then Faye suggested we all go eat Mexican food at Rosalinda’s in Chantelle and I decided that was a good idea so I could pay and thus repay the boys for their help.
We went.
Jacob decided he’d pay.
We had words.
Everyone (and that was everyone) thought this was hilarious by the looks they gave us, Bubba cracking up laughing and, last but not least, Deke looking at Jacob, grinning and proclaiming, “Dude, you are so f**ked.”
I quit arguing with Jacob at Deke’s comment but commenced pulling a fast one. I said I needed to powder my nose, then caught the waitress and gave her my credit card.
Jacob lost his mind (mildly).
I ignored this and told him if it made him feel better, he could buy me another margarita.
Krystal nodded to me with approval.
Nina, Lauren, Lexie, Faye and Zara glanced at each other with concern.
Jacob paid for margaritas and beers all around (except Faye had juice).
I could tell Jacob was still irritated in the truck on the way home. So when we got to his house, I turned in the hall just inside from the garage, got up on my toes and gave him a kiss.
He took me right to bed.
He got over his irritation quickly.
Taking us to now.
“I’ll give you that play,” Jacob said, regaining my focus, referring to my change of subject away from Harvey, “ ’cause I’m tired, I just came hard, got two outta you, so I don’t wanna go there, but more, I don’t wanna take you there.”
At least there was that.
Then he took it away.
“But we’re not done talkin’ about this,” he warned.
I looked to his chin, knowing he wouldn’t let me get off the hook about Harvey so easily, and murmured, “I figured.”
“Emme, look at me.”
I looked at him and he got even closer.
“What that guy did was not good, it was not right and not just because it was not legal. It was whacked. He paid, which was right. It concerns me you’ve twisted that in your head to make it seem okay. It wasn’t. None of it was. You were too young to understand but you’re not too young now. It’s good and I’m glad you’re takin’ time to reflect and untwist things, see how that affected you. But, baby, you gotta see that through.”
I agreed because I thought that was my best course of action at that juncture.
“Okay, Jacob.”
“Okay,” he replied.
“The station,” I prompted, and Jacob just stared at me.
Then he said, “Fuck me.”
“What?” I asked.
“Right, backtrackin’ for a minute, I’m lyin’ on top of you, both of us na**d in my bed. I think you get that what we’ve just started is somethin’ I want to build on, even if it took a long time to start and started a little whacked. Seein’ as you’re here, na**d in my bed, I’m readin’ you wanna build on that too. What I need from you is not to be with me and be remote. You’re either with me or you aren’t, and babe, I’m gonna make the effort to keep you with me.”
I didn’t understand what he meant.
“Jacob, I’m with you.”
“You don’t think I know you just agreed then changed the subject so I’ll shut up about something you don’t agree with me about?”
It was at that moment I was realizing that having a genius as a boyfriend might not be all fun and games.
Sure, he could measure the insulation I needed in my attic not using a tape measure but the power of his mind.
But other times, it was going to suck.
“Honey—”
He shook his head. “I’ll give you that play too. Just doin’ it lettin’ you know that I know you’re makin’ a play.”
I was going to get nowhere with this and I knew it.
So I murmured, “Oh, all right.”
“And last thing I’m gonna say about this is, I also knew then and even more now that shit made you live remote, behind a veil, givin’ but holdin’ back. That shit starts to leak back in, I’m gonna put a stop to that too.”
“You know, now you’re annoying me,” I shared.
“Good, bein’ annoyed means you feel somethin’ so I’ll take that,” he returned.
I glared.
He took my glare for a moment then grinned.
“Station!” I snapped.
His grin got bigger.
My gaze narrowed on it so they saw his lips start to move and returned to his eyes.
“McFarland gets me. He gets Chace. He also gets Mick Shaughnessy. Chace shared with your top man at the Gnaw Bone station that McFarland called you and before you knew any of this was happening, you’d made the decision to scrape him off. So he was with us when we shared our understanding that you are done with him so he’ll also need to demonstrate he understands that. You hear from him again, like you did today, you tell me immediately. But, my guess, you won’t hear from him again.”
This was very good.
“What’s going on with all that?” I asked, expecting he would shut it down, but hoping he didn’t.
He didn’t.
He told me.
“Regardless of the evidence, no confessions and no one is fingering the ringleader. The group is tight. There are some indications McFarland is the weak link, not least of which that moron gave you a stolen ring. Their attention is focused on him. They’ll go up for bond hearings tomorrow and we can hope to Christ they’ll be set high and they can break McFarland before that happens. We’ll see.”
For the Dane who could be sweet, I felt badly.
But I didn’t feel much else.
I took a moment to reflect on this because I’d spent three years working with him and four months dating him, and outside of being creeped out I did the latter, I didn’t feel much about him at all.
“Emme, what’s in your head?” Jacob asked, and I focused on him.
“I don’t care,” I told him.
His brows drew together. “What?”
“About Dane. I’m still creeped out about…” I hesitated as a dark look started to enter his eyes so I chose the words, “You know. But mostly, I don’t care and I’m trying to figure out if that’s me being remote in order not to get hurt or feel other things, or if I just don’t care.”
We hadn’t talked about that. That was because, when he and Chace got back, there were women to entertain and men working. Jacob and Chace joined the boys in the attic immediately.
And I wasn’t wrong. It took longer than an hour for the guys to install my insulation, but by midafternoon the entire job was done.
Then Faye suggested we all go eat Mexican food at Rosalinda’s in Chantelle and I decided that was a good idea so I could pay and thus repay the boys for their help.
We went.
Jacob decided he’d pay.
We had words.
Everyone (and that was everyone) thought this was hilarious by the looks they gave us, Bubba cracking up laughing and, last but not least, Deke looking at Jacob, grinning and proclaiming, “Dude, you are so f**ked.”
I quit arguing with Jacob at Deke’s comment but commenced pulling a fast one. I said I needed to powder my nose, then caught the waitress and gave her my credit card.
Jacob lost his mind (mildly).
I ignored this and told him if it made him feel better, he could buy me another margarita.
Krystal nodded to me with approval.
Nina, Lauren, Lexie, Faye and Zara glanced at each other with concern.
Jacob paid for margaritas and beers all around (except Faye had juice).
I could tell Jacob was still irritated in the truck on the way home. So when we got to his house, I turned in the hall just inside from the garage, got up on my toes and gave him a kiss.
He took me right to bed.
He got over his irritation quickly.
Taking us to now.
“I’ll give you that play,” Jacob said, regaining my focus, referring to my change of subject away from Harvey, “ ’cause I’m tired, I just came hard, got two outta you, so I don’t wanna go there, but more, I don’t wanna take you there.”
At least there was that.
Then he took it away.
“But we’re not done talkin’ about this,” he warned.
I looked to his chin, knowing he wouldn’t let me get off the hook about Harvey so easily, and murmured, “I figured.”
“Emme, look at me.”
I looked at him and he got even closer.
“What that guy did was not good, it was not right and not just because it was not legal. It was whacked. He paid, which was right. It concerns me you’ve twisted that in your head to make it seem okay. It wasn’t. None of it was. You were too young to understand but you’re not too young now. It’s good and I’m glad you’re takin’ time to reflect and untwist things, see how that affected you. But, baby, you gotta see that through.”
I agreed because I thought that was my best course of action at that juncture.
“Okay, Jacob.”
“Okay,” he replied.
“The station,” I prompted, and Jacob just stared at me.
Then he said, “Fuck me.”
“What?” I asked.
“Right, backtrackin’ for a minute, I’m lyin’ on top of you, both of us na**d in my bed. I think you get that what we’ve just started is somethin’ I want to build on, even if it took a long time to start and started a little whacked. Seein’ as you’re here, na**d in my bed, I’m readin’ you wanna build on that too. What I need from you is not to be with me and be remote. You’re either with me or you aren’t, and babe, I’m gonna make the effort to keep you with me.”
I didn’t understand what he meant.
“Jacob, I’m with you.”
“You don’t think I know you just agreed then changed the subject so I’ll shut up about something you don’t agree with me about?”
It was at that moment I was realizing that having a genius as a boyfriend might not be all fun and games.
Sure, he could measure the insulation I needed in my attic not using a tape measure but the power of his mind.
But other times, it was going to suck.
“Honey—”
He shook his head. “I’ll give you that play too. Just doin’ it lettin’ you know that I know you’re makin’ a play.”
I was going to get nowhere with this and I knew it.
So I murmured, “Oh, all right.”
“And last thing I’m gonna say about this is, I also knew then and even more now that shit made you live remote, behind a veil, givin’ but holdin’ back. That shit starts to leak back in, I’m gonna put a stop to that too.”
“You know, now you’re annoying me,” I shared.
“Good, bein’ annoyed means you feel somethin’ so I’ll take that,” he returned.
I glared.
He took my glare for a moment then grinned.
“Station!” I snapped.
His grin got bigger.
My gaze narrowed on it so they saw his lips start to move and returned to his eyes.
“McFarland gets me. He gets Chace. He also gets Mick Shaughnessy. Chace shared with your top man at the Gnaw Bone station that McFarland called you and before you knew any of this was happening, you’d made the decision to scrape him off. So he was with us when we shared our understanding that you are done with him so he’ll also need to demonstrate he understands that. You hear from him again, like you did today, you tell me immediately. But, my guess, you won’t hear from him again.”
This was very good.
“What’s going on with all that?” I asked, expecting he would shut it down, but hoping he didn’t.
He didn’t.
He told me.
“Regardless of the evidence, no confessions and no one is fingering the ringleader. The group is tight. There are some indications McFarland is the weak link, not least of which that moron gave you a stolen ring. Their attention is focused on him. They’ll go up for bond hearings tomorrow and we can hope to Christ they’ll be set high and they can break McFarland before that happens. We’ll see.”
For the Dane who could be sweet, I felt badly.
But I didn’t feel much else.
I took a moment to reflect on this because I’d spent three years working with him and four months dating him, and outside of being creeped out I did the latter, I didn’t feel much about him at all.
“Emme, what’s in your head?” Jacob asked, and I focused on him.
“I don’t care,” I told him.
His brows drew together. “What?”
“About Dane. I’m still creeped out about…” I hesitated as a dark look started to enter his eyes so I chose the words, “You know. But mostly, I don’t care and I’m trying to figure out if that’s me being remote in order not to get hurt or feel other things, or if I just don’t care.”
