Keep Me
Page 23
“I’m not lying,” she denies vehemently, taking a step back. Her face is pale in the dim light of the room, but her gaze is direct and unwavering as she stares at me. “I shouldn’t want to be with you, but I do. Do you think I don’t realize how wrong this is? How messed-up? You kidnapped me, Julian . . . You forced me.”
The accusation hangs between us, stark and heavy. If I were a different man, a better man, I would look away. I would feel remorse for what I’d done.
But I don’t.
I’m not into self-deception. I never have been. When I abducted Nora, I knew that I crossed a line, that I sank to a new low. I did it with the full knowledge of what that makes me: an irredeemable beast, a destroyer of innocence. It’s a label I’m willing to live with to have her.
I would do anything to have her.
So instead of looking away, I hold her gaze. “Yes,” I say quietly. “I did.” My anger is gone, replaced by an emotion I don’t want to analyze too closely. Taking a step toward her, I lift my hand again and stroke the plush softness of her lower lip with my thumb. Her lips part at my touch, and the hunger that I’ve been suppressing all day sharpens, clawing at my insides.
I want her.
I want her, and I’m going to take her.
After this, she will have no doubt that she belongs to me.
Chapter 10
Nora
Staring up at my husband, I fight the urge to back away. I shouldn’t have let Julian see my reaction to my new name, but I had been enjoying the shooting session—and Julian’s company—so much that I had forgotten the reality of my new situation. Hearing ‘Mrs. Esguerra’ fall from Lucas’s lips startled me, bringing back that disconcerting feeling of lost identity, and, for a moment, I had been unable to hide my dismay.
That moment was all it took to transform Julian from a laughing, teasing companion to the terrifying, unpredictable man who first brought me to his island.
I can feel the rapid beating of my pulse as his thumb caresses my lips, his touch gentle despite the darkness gleaming in his eyes. He doesn’t seem upset by my reckless accusations; if anything, he looks calmer now, almost amused. I’m not sure what I thought would happen when I threw the words at him, but I hadn’t expected him to admit his crimes so easily, without even a hint of guilt or regret. Most people try to justify their actions to themselves and others, twisting the facts to suit their purposes, but Julian is not most people. He sees things as they are; he’s just not bothered by the idea of committing acts most people would cringe at. Instead of a deluded psycho who thinks he’s doing the right thing, my new husband is simply a man without a conscience.
A man whom I both love and fear right now.
Without saying another word, Julian lowers his fingers and grips my upper arm, leading me toward one of the wide wrestling mats near the wall. As we walk, I catch a glimpse of the bulge in his shorts, and my breathing speeds up from a combination of anxiety and involuntary desire.
Julian intends to fuck me, right here and now, where anyone can walk in on us.
An uncomfortable mixture of lust and embarrassment makes my skin burn. Logic tells me this is not likely to be one of our more vanilla encounters, but my body doesn’t know the difference between a punishment fuck and tender lovemaking. All it knows is Julian, and it’s conditioned to crave his touch.
To my surprise, Julian doesn’t fall on me right away. Instead he releases my arm and looks at me, his sensuous mouth twisted into a cold, slightly cruel smile. “Why don’t you show me what you learned in those self-defense classes of yours, my pet?” he says softly. “Let’s see some of the moves they taught you.”
I stare at him, my heart climbing into my throat as I realize what Julian wants. He wants me to fight him, to resist—even though it won’t change the outcome.
Even though it’ll only make me feel helpless and defeated when I lose.
“Why?” I ask in desperation, trying to put off the inevitable. I know Julian is just toying with me, but I don’t want to play this game, not after everything that has occurred between us. I want to forget those early days on the island, not relive them in this twisted way.
“Why not?” He begins to circle around me, causing my anxiety to spike. “Isn’t that why you took those classes, so you could protect yourself from men like me? Men who want to take you, to abuse you?”
My breathing accelerates further, adrenaline flooding my system as an involuntary fight-or-flight response kicks in. Instinctively I turn, trying to keep him in sight at all times, as if he were a dangerous predator—because he is one right now.
A beautiful, deadly predator who is intent on me as his prey.
“Go ahead, Nora,” he murmurs, stopping so that my back is against the wall. “Fight.”
“No.” I try not to flinch when he reaches for me, his hand closing around my wrist. “I’m not doing this, Julian. Not like this.”
His nostrils flare. He’s not used to me denying him anything, and I hold my breath, waiting to see what he will do. My heart is beating painfully in my chest, and a thin trickle of sweat slides down my back as I hold his gaze. By now I know Julian wouldn’t truly harm me, but that doesn’t mean he won’t punish me for my defiance.
“All right,” he says softly. “If that’s how you want it.” And using his grip on my wrist, he twists my arm upwards, forcing me down to my knees. With his free hand, he unzips his shorts, letting his erection spring free. Then he wraps my hair around his fist and pushes my mouth toward his cock. “Suck it,” he orders roughly, staring down at me.
The accusation hangs between us, stark and heavy. If I were a different man, a better man, I would look away. I would feel remorse for what I’d done.
But I don’t.
I’m not into self-deception. I never have been. When I abducted Nora, I knew that I crossed a line, that I sank to a new low. I did it with the full knowledge of what that makes me: an irredeemable beast, a destroyer of innocence. It’s a label I’m willing to live with to have her.
I would do anything to have her.
So instead of looking away, I hold her gaze. “Yes,” I say quietly. “I did.” My anger is gone, replaced by an emotion I don’t want to analyze too closely. Taking a step toward her, I lift my hand again and stroke the plush softness of her lower lip with my thumb. Her lips part at my touch, and the hunger that I’ve been suppressing all day sharpens, clawing at my insides.
I want her.
I want her, and I’m going to take her.
After this, she will have no doubt that she belongs to me.
Chapter 10
Nora
Staring up at my husband, I fight the urge to back away. I shouldn’t have let Julian see my reaction to my new name, but I had been enjoying the shooting session—and Julian’s company—so much that I had forgotten the reality of my new situation. Hearing ‘Mrs. Esguerra’ fall from Lucas’s lips startled me, bringing back that disconcerting feeling of lost identity, and, for a moment, I had been unable to hide my dismay.
That moment was all it took to transform Julian from a laughing, teasing companion to the terrifying, unpredictable man who first brought me to his island.
I can feel the rapid beating of my pulse as his thumb caresses my lips, his touch gentle despite the darkness gleaming in his eyes. He doesn’t seem upset by my reckless accusations; if anything, he looks calmer now, almost amused. I’m not sure what I thought would happen when I threw the words at him, but I hadn’t expected him to admit his crimes so easily, without even a hint of guilt or regret. Most people try to justify their actions to themselves and others, twisting the facts to suit their purposes, but Julian is not most people. He sees things as they are; he’s just not bothered by the idea of committing acts most people would cringe at. Instead of a deluded psycho who thinks he’s doing the right thing, my new husband is simply a man without a conscience.
A man whom I both love and fear right now.
Without saying another word, Julian lowers his fingers and grips my upper arm, leading me toward one of the wide wrestling mats near the wall. As we walk, I catch a glimpse of the bulge in his shorts, and my breathing speeds up from a combination of anxiety and involuntary desire.
Julian intends to fuck me, right here and now, where anyone can walk in on us.
An uncomfortable mixture of lust and embarrassment makes my skin burn. Logic tells me this is not likely to be one of our more vanilla encounters, but my body doesn’t know the difference between a punishment fuck and tender lovemaking. All it knows is Julian, and it’s conditioned to crave his touch.
To my surprise, Julian doesn’t fall on me right away. Instead he releases my arm and looks at me, his sensuous mouth twisted into a cold, slightly cruel smile. “Why don’t you show me what you learned in those self-defense classes of yours, my pet?” he says softly. “Let’s see some of the moves they taught you.”
I stare at him, my heart climbing into my throat as I realize what Julian wants. He wants me to fight him, to resist—even though it won’t change the outcome.
Even though it’ll only make me feel helpless and defeated when I lose.
“Why?” I ask in desperation, trying to put off the inevitable. I know Julian is just toying with me, but I don’t want to play this game, not after everything that has occurred between us. I want to forget those early days on the island, not relive them in this twisted way.
“Why not?” He begins to circle around me, causing my anxiety to spike. “Isn’t that why you took those classes, so you could protect yourself from men like me? Men who want to take you, to abuse you?”
My breathing accelerates further, adrenaline flooding my system as an involuntary fight-or-flight response kicks in. Instinctively I turn, trying to keep him in sight at all times, as if he were a dangerous predator—because he is one right now.
A beautiful, deadly predator who is intent on me as his prey.
“Go ahead, Nora,” he murmurs, stopping so that my back is against the wall. “Fight.”
“No.” I try not to flinch when he reaches for me, his hand closing around my wrist. “I’m not doing this, Julian. Not like this.”
His nostrils flare. He’s not used to me denying him anything, and I hold my breath, waiting to see what he will do. My heart is beating painfully in my chest, and a thin trickle of sweat slides down my back as I hold his gaze. By now I know Julian wouldn’t truly harm me, but that doesn’t mean he won’t punish me for my defiance.
“All right,” he says softly. “If that’s how you want it.” And using his grip on my wrist, he twists my arm upwards, forcing me down to my knees. With his free hand, he unzips his shorts, letting his erection spring free. Then he wraps my hair around his fist and pushes my mouth toward his cock. “Suck it,” he orders roughly, staring down at me.
