King of Hearts
Page 31
I grew slightly rigid as I listened to him speak, but couldn’t help sputtering a laugh. “A conquest?”
“Love and romance aren’t things that enter my mind very often. They’re too…time-consuming, and I have so little of that as it is. I enjoy the company of women in many different ways, but I don’t have space in my life for a real partner. It would hold me back.”
“Okay….”
“When you told me you were gay, I was admittedly disappointed. However, I was also relieved, because it meant nothing could happen between us. But now I find out that you’re not, and I begin to want things that I shouldn’t.” He paused to give me a smouldering look. “Touching you today, being close to you, has been more arousing than anything else I can remember. It’s a heady feeling to find someone you’re highly attuned to, is it not?”
All I could do was swallow and nod.
“And so,” he went on, “here lies our predicament. If I fuck you, I’m going to want to keep doing it, and I don’t have time to keep doing it. Christ, even coming here today was a massive chunk of time I’d normally spend working.” He stopped and ran his fingers through his hair. “I could lose the run of myself inside a woman like you, Alexis.” He paused before muttering under his breath, almost absently, “And I fear if I made you my queen, I could no longer be a king.”
I frowned at him, whispering, “There are lots of different ways to be a king, Oliver.” It was one of the few times I’d ever called him by his given name, and it added a tenderness to the moment I knew he hadn’t expected. The look he gave me told me that. But really, I felt a little sad for him. He was so focused on succeeding, on winning, that he would never have time for love. That was sad.
“That’s true, but my life, it’s, well, it’s always been a certain way, and I’m afraid this may be the only way I know how to succeed.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. Our journey progressed, and we were only a couple of minutes away from my flat when King began talking again.
“You have an addicting presence, one I don’t want to give up, so I propose we try our best not to touch. I think that touching, for us, is where temptation lies.”
I groaned and rolled away from him, covering my face with my hand. “What’s tempting is when you talk like that.”
Peering at him through my fingers, I saw him bite on his lip and cast me a considering glance. “Maybe just once….” He stopped himself, shaking away the thought. “No, that’s a bad idea.”
“Uh-huh,” I agreed with him stiffly.
This was the best-paying job I’d ever had, and was ever likely to get. I couldn’t go letting a fling with my boss mess it up for me. I mean, I’d spent half my life working for minimum wage in grotty pubs and bars. I knew a good thing when I had it, and I had no intention of letting it slip through my fingers. My dream was to one day own a home of my own, someplace nice, where there were low crime rates and no junkies hanging around every corner, waiting to jump you to pay for their next fix.
I knew all of this as fact. I knew it, and yet, there was no mistaking the disappointment in my gut to think we’d never explore the possibilities that lay between us.
“So, we have an understanding, then,” said King. “No touching.”
“Yep. Got ya.” I nodded, a weird awkwardness settling in. The car stopped, and I saw that we were right in front of my building. I got out silently, while King insisted on walking me up to my flat. I told him he didn’t have to, but he insisted. I don’t think he liked the look of the gang of teenagers hanging around by the entrance.
I wanted to tell him he was doing more harm than good, because once the locals saw me with a man like King, they’d think I had something worth stealing. I didn’t. Neither did Karla. That didn’t mean it wouldn’t be upsetting to come home and find our place broken into. My things held no monetary value, but they meant something to me.
When we reached my door, I slotted my key in the lock and turned back to King. He was staring at me with an intensity that caught me off guard, and my heart fluttered.
A moment passed.
I wetted my lips.
He saw.
I inhaled.
He clenched his jaw.
“I’ll see you on Monday, then,” he said with effort.
“Yes.” I nodded. “Monday. Right.”
His hand rose to my cheek in a soft, forlorn sort of caress. “Sleep well, Alexis.”
At long last he turned and went, and I felt every foot of distance like a cord was snapping between us. Opening the door, I heard Karla utter a quiet “fuck” and found her holding a hand to her forehead.
“Give your nosy flat mate some warning before opening the door next time,” she complained. She’d clearly been spying on us through the peephole and got clocked on the forehead in the process. I laughed, and she shot me a scowl.
“That man is beautiful, Lexie,” she sighed, as though it was a bad thing. I definitely knew where she was coming from. Beautiful bosses who wanted to be your friend were a very bad thing.
“Tell me everything that happened today,” she insisted, plopping down on the couch, looking cosy in her blue pyjamas. I smiled and went to join her.
“Okay, so first, I’m not sure if I want to murder Bradley or send him an early birthday gift.”
Karla giggled. “Oh, my God, this is going to be good. I can already tell.”
“Love and romance aren’t things that enter my mind very often. They’re too…time-consuming, and I have so little of that as it is. I enjoy the company of women in many different ways, but I don’t have space in my life for a real partner. It would hold me back.”
“Okay….”
“When you told me you were gay, I was admittedly disappointed. However, I was also relieved, because it meant nothing could happen between us. But now I find out that you’re not, and I begin to want things that I shouldn’t.” He paused to give me a smouldering look. “Touching you today, being close to you, has been more arousing than anything else I can remember. It’s a heady feeling to find someone you’re highly attuned to, is it not?”
All I could do was swallow and nod.
“And so,” he went on, “here lies our predicament. If I fuck you, I’m going to want to keep doing it, and I don’t have time to keep doing it. Christ, even coming here today was a massive chunk of time I’d normally spend working.” He stopped and ran his fingers through his hair. “I could lose the run of myself inside a woman like you, Alexis.” He paused before muttering under his breath, almost absently, “And I fear if I made you my queen, I could no longer be a king.”
I frowned at him, whispering, “There are lots of different ways to be a king, Oliver.” It was one of the few times I’d ever called him by his given name, and it added a tenderness to the moment I knew he hadn’t expected. The look he gave me told me that. But really, I felt a little sad for him. He was so focused on succeeding, on winning, that he would never have time for love. That was sad.
“That’s true, but my life, it’s, well, it’s always been a certain way, and I’m afraid this may be the only way I know how to succeed.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. Our journey progressed, and we were only a couple of minutes away from my flat when King began talking again.
“You have an addicting presence, one I don’t want to give up, so I propose we try our best not to touch. I think that touching, for us, is where temptation lies.”
I groaned and rolled away from him, covering my face with my hand. “What’s tempting is when you talk like that.”
Peering at him through my fingers, I saw him bite on his lip and cast me a considering glance. “Maybe just once….” He stopped himself, shaking away the thought. “No, that’s a bad idea.”
“Uh-huh,” I agreed with him stiffly.
This was the best-paying job I’d ever had, and was ever likely to get. I couldn’t go letting a fling with my boss mess it up for me. I mean, I’d spent half my life working for minimum wage in grotty pubs and bars. I knew a good thing when I had it, and I had no intention of letting it slip through my fingers. My dream was to one day own a home of my own, someplace nice, where there were low crime rates and no junkies hanging around every corner, waiting to jump you to pay for their next fix.
I knew all of this as fact. I knew it, and yet, there was no mistaking the disappointment in my gut to think we’d never explore the possibilities that lay between us.
“So, we have an understanding, then,” said King. “No touching.”
“Yep. Got ya.” I nodded, a weird awkwardness settling in. The car stopped, and I saw that we were right in front of my building. I got out silently, while King insisted on walking me up to my flat. I told him he didn’t have to, but he insisted. I don’t think he liked the look of the gang of teenagers hanging around by the entrance.
I wanted to tell him he was doing more harm than good, because once the locals saw me with a man like King, they’d think I had something worth stealing. I didn’t. Neither did Karla. That didn’t mean it wouldn’t be upsetting to come home and find our place broken into. My things held no monetary value, but they meant something to me.
When we reached my door, I slotted my key in the lock and turned back to King. He was staring at me with an intensity that caught me off guard, and my heart fluttered.
A moment passed.
I wetted my lips.
He saw.
I inhaled.
He clenched his jaw.
“I’ll see you on Monday, then,” he said with effort.
“Yes.” I nodded. “Monday. Right.”
His hand rose to my cheek in a soft, forlorn sort of caress. “Sleep well, Alexis.”
At long last he turned and went, and I felt every foot of distance like a cord was snapping between us. Opening the door, I heard Karla utter a quiet “fuck” and found her holding a hand to her forehead.
“Give your nosy flat mate some warning before opening the door next time,” she complained. She’d clearly been spying on us through the peephole and got clocked on the forehead in the process. I laughed, and she shot me a scowl.
“That man is beautiful, Lexie,” she sighed, as though it was a bad thing. I definitely knew where she was coming from. Beautiful bosses who wanted to be your friend were a very bad thing.
“Tell me everything that happened today,” she insisted, plopping down on the couch, looking cosy in her blue pyjamas. I smiled and went to join her.
“Okay, so first, I’m not sure if I want to murder Bradley or send him an early birthday gift.”
Karla giggled. “Oh, my God, this is going to be good. I can already tell.”
