Kiss Me Like This
Page 61
All the sweet and sexy moments blurred in her brain, making it nearly impossible for her to focus the way she needed to. But if she blew this presentation that made up fifty percent of her grade for the quarter, movie or not, her grade point average would be too low for the admissions department to change her probationary acceptance to permanent.
Pushing the hair out of her face, she stared down at her notes and made herself carefully and deliberately go through them line by line, page by page. It took a little while, but finally, she started to sink back into the material the way she usually did. In fact, an hour later, when she finally thought to check her phone just in case Sean or Abi needed anything, she was surprised to see Smith Sullivan’s name on the screen.
She hadn’t heard her phone ring, but it looked like he’d left her a voice mail. Her heart rate immediately kicked into overdrive. And though she hated it when people used their cell phones in the library, she couldn’t wait to get all the way outside before hearing what he had to say.
Holding it up to her ear, she pressed play and Smith’s deep voice rumbled through. “Serena, I wanted to call to tell you how pleased I am that we will be working together on my film. I apologize again that it took this long for everything to be set in stone, and after worrying that we would lose you to other projects and commitments, I’m extremely glad to hear via your mother that you will definitely be able to make our first day of production next week.” He said a few more things, but she could barely take them in and had to replay his message again to take down his full contact information just in case she needed to reach him between now and next week.
She shouldn’t be shocked that her mother would have said Serena had “no other projects or commitments” that would interfere with his movie. And yet, even after the things Genevieve had said to her the day before, she was stunned. Stunned and heartbroken to know that what she wanted mattered so little to the person who had been the center of her world for nineteen years.
She dropped the phone into her bag and when she turned back to her presentation notes, no matter how hard she tried to study them, she just couldn’t stop thinking about Smith’s call...and how if everything went the way her mother was hoping it would, Serena would be on set by this time next week. It would be as though her time here at Stanford—and Sean—had never happened at all, reduced to nothing more than a short little blip in her life.
* * *
Disaster.
Her presentation was a total disaster. It was so bad, in fact, that by the time she fumbled her way to the end no one in her class could even make eye contact with her.
“Serena,” her professor said while the other students all shot out the door as fast as they could, “I’d appreciate it if you could stay behind for a few minutes.”
She felt sick to her stomach. She didn’t get the sense that Professor Fairworth paid much attention to pop culture, but it would just be her lucky day if he’d somehow seen the news reports that she was going to film Smith’s movie. If he had, of course he would assume that she had intentionally wasted his time today with a ridiculously subpar presentation.
“Is everything all right?”
Considering how uncomfortable she’d been around him in those initial weeks, ever since he’d canceled their one-on-one meetings, she hadn’t picked up on any weird vibes. Well, not too many weird vibes, anyway. Granted, she’d been too preoccupied with falling for Sean to notice much about anyone else.
“I’m so sorry about my presentation. I put so much time into preparing for it, but some personal things came up in the last couple of days.”
She hated hearing the excuse come out of her mouth, but for as fatalistic as all of this seemed, now that she’d actually blown the very thing she needed to get right, Serena was struck hard with a fierce need not to give up on everything that she’d had to fight so hard for in the first place. Maybe all of this was the universe telling her that she’d never belonged here anyway…but, darn it, that didn’t change how badly she wanted to be here.
“I know it’s no excuse and that you don’t have to give me any special preference, but if there was any way that I might be able to have a second chance to prove to you that I take your class as seriously as I truly do—”
“Serena, it’s okay.”
Her professor put his hand on her arm to stop her mouth from running on. Perhaps she should have been more startled by the fact that he was touching her, and that he didn’t immediately remove his hand from her bare skin, but she was so full of hope that he was going to give her another chance, the thought of pulling away didn’t even cross her mind.
“It is?” Could this be the real sign that she was going to figure out a way to make it all work, after all? “I was so worried that you would think I’d flaked out, but I swear I haven’t.”
“Breathe,” he said as he moved to draw her closer and began to stroke her back. “Just a few deep breaths will help. And then we can talk about our next step.”
Finally—and with such suddenness that it stole her breath along with the relief she’d momentarily felt—wariness came. Along with a hit of fear as she realized that she’d just walked into her professor’s arms.
Carefully, she took a small step back. “Thank you for agreeing to give me another shot at getting this presentation right. If I could have a couple of extra days to make a new plan for it, I know I could do a much better job.”
“Absolutely, Serena, although I’m sure you agree that it would be best if you did your repeat performance outside of class. Otherwise, I expect your fellow students might wonder where their second chances are. We wouldn’t want them to think you’re getting any special treatment just because your picture is everywhere.”
When he put it that way, it suddenly seemed like he had seen the story about her leaving school to film Smith’s movie. Which mean he probably also thought she and Sean were breaking up. If Sean had been the reason her professor had backed off several weeks ago, did Fairworth now think she was fair game? Was that why he was suddenly behaving in such a way that he was giving her the major creeps again?
“Professor Fairworth, I really do feel terrible about my performance today,” she began, but he raised his hand to stop her from saying anything else.
“We all have our off days. Perhaps before you redo your presentation, we should get together to discuss a few ways you might be able to improve your analysis. I have a full roster of classes tomorrow, but I could carve out some time for you in the evening.”
Pushing the hair out of her face, she stared down at her notes and made herself carefully and deliberately go through them line by line, page by page. It took a little while, but finally, she started to sink back into the material the way she usually did. In fact, an hour later, when she finally thought to check her phone just in case Sean or Abi needed anything, she was surprised to see Smith Sullivan’s name on the screen.
She hadn’t heard her phone ring, but it looked like he’d left her a voice mail. Her heart rate immediately kicked into overdrive. And though she hated it when people used their cell phones in the library, she couldn’t wait to get all the way outside before hearing what he had to say.
Holding it up to her ear, she pressed play and Smith’s deep voice rumbled through. “Serena, I wanted to call to tell you how pleased I am that we will be working together on my film. I apologize again that it took this long for everything to be set in stone, and after worrying that we would lose you to other projects and commitments, I’m extremely glad to hear via your mother that you will definitely be able to make our first day of production next week.” He said a few more things, but she could barely take them in and had to replay his message again to take down his full contact information just in case she needed to reach him between now and next week.
She shouldn’t be shocked that her mother would have said Serena had “no other projects or commitments” that would interfere with his movie. And yet, even after the things Genevieve had said to her the day before, she was stunned. Stunned and heartbroken to know that what she wanted mattered so little to the person who had been the center of her world for nineteen years.
She dropped the phone into her bag and when she turned back to her presentation notes, no matter how hard she tried to study them, she just couldn’t stop thinking about Smith’s call...and how if everything went the way her mother was hoping it would, Serena would be on set by this time next week. It would be as though her time here at Stanford—and Sean—had never happened at all, reduced to nothing more than a short little blip in her life.
* * *
Disaster.
Her presentation was a total disaster. It was so bad, in fact, that by the time she fumbled her way to the end no one in her class could even make eye contact with her.
“Serena,” her professor said while the other students all shot out the door as fast as they could, “I’d appreciate it if you could stay behind for a few minutes.”
She felt sick to her stomach. She didn’t get the sense that Professor Fairworth paid much attention to pop culture, but it would just be her lucky day if he’d somehow seen the news reports that she was going to film Smith’s movie. If he had, of course he would assume that she had intentionally wasted his time today with a ridiculously subpar presentation.
“Is everything all right?”
Considering how uncomfortable she’d been around him in those initial weeks, ever since he’d canceled their one-on-one meetings, she hadn’t picked up on any weird vibes. Well, not too many weird vibes, anyway. Granted, she’d been too preoccupied with falling for Sean to notice much about anyone else.
“I’m so sorry about my presentation. I put so much time into preparing for it, but some personal things came up in the last couple of days.”
She hated hearing the excuse come out of her mouth, but for as fatalistic as all of this seemed, now that she’d actually blown the very thing she needed to get right, Serena was struck hard with a fierce need not to give up on everything that she’d had to fight so hard for in the first place. Maybe all of this was the universe telling her that she’d never belonged here anyway…but, darn it, that didn’t change how badly she wanted to be here.
“I know it’s no excuse and that you don’t have to give me any special preference, but if there was any way that I might be able to have a second chance to prove to you that I take your class as seriously as I truly do—”
“Serena, it’s okay.”
Her professor put his hand on her arm to stop her mouth from running on. Perhaps she should have been more startled by the fact that he was touching her, and that he didn’t immediately remove his hand from her bare skin, but she was so full of hope that he was going to give her another chance, the thought of pulling away didn’t even cross her mind.
“It is?” Could this be the real sign that she was going to figure out a way to make it all work, after all? “I was so worried that you would think I’d flaked out, but I swear I haven’t.”
“Breathe,” he said as he moved to draw her closer and began to stroke her back. “Just a few deep breaths will help. And then we can talk about our next step.”
Finally—and with such suddenness that it stole her breath along with the relief she’d momentarily felt—wariness came. Along with a hit of fear as she realized that she’d just walked into her professor’s arms.
Carefully, she took a small step back. “Thank you for agreeing to give me another shot at getting this presentation right. If I could have a couple of extra days to make a new plan for it, I know I could do a much better job.”
“Absolutely, Serena, although I’m sure you agree that it would be best if you did your repeat performance outside of class. Otherwise, I expect your fellow students might wonder where their second chances are. We wouldn’t want them to think you’re getting any special treatment just because your picture is everywhere.”
When he put it that way, it suddenly seemed like he had seen the story about her leaving school to film Smith’s movie. Which mean he probably also thought she and Sean were breaking up. If Sean had been the reason her professor had backed off several weeks ago, did Fairworth now think she was fair game? Was that why he was suddenly behaving in such a way that he was giving her the major creeps again?
“Professor Fairworth, I really do feel terrible about my performance today,” she began, but he raised his hand to stop her from saying anything else.
“We all have our off days. Perhaps before you redo your presentation, we should get together to discuss a few ways you might be able to improve your analysis. I have a full roster of classes tomorrow, but I could carve out some time for you in the evening.”
