Kitty and the Midnight Hour
Page 58
Lucy said, "So, Kitty, has he reached out to you?"
A couple of impolite responses occurred to me, and for once I kept them on the inside. "Well, as I've said before, while I may not be the most righteous bitch on the airwaves, I certainly don't feel particularly unrighteous. But I'm probably using the word differently than the senator. Let's just say I'm listening attentively, as usual."
The sound engineer gestured through the window to the boom, giving me a count of time left. Not Matt. I was in Albuquerque this week, at a public radio station that carried the show. It wasn't my booth, or my microphone, and the chair was too new, not as squishy as my chair back at KNOB. I missed that chair. I missed Matt.
"All right, faithful listeners—and mind you, I'm probably using the word 'faithful' differently than Senator Duke would use it. We've got just a couple of minutes left for closing words. Senator, I have one more question for you, if you don't mind."
"Go right ahead."
"Earlier in the show we discussed the little-publicized report released by a branch of the NIH, a government-sponsored study that made an empirical examination of supernatural beings such as werewolves and vampires. I'd like to ask you, if I may: If the U.S. government is on the verge of labeling lycanthropy and vampirism as diseases—by that I mean identifiable physiological conditions—how does that reconcile with the stance taken by many religious doctrines that these conditions are marks of sin?"
"Well, Ms. Norville, like you, I've read that report. And rather than contradicting my stance on these conditions as you call them, I believe it supports me."
"How?"
"I said before that I want to reach out to people suffering from these terrible afflictions—just as we as a society must reach out to anyone suffering from illness. We must help them find their way to the righteous path of light."
And what did the vampires think of being led to the path of light?
"How would you do this, Senator?" I said, a tad more diplomatically.
He straightened, launching on a speech like he'd been waiting for this moment, for this exact question. "Many diseases, such as lycanthropy and vampirism in particular, are highly contagious. Folklore has taught us this for centuries, and now modern science confirms it."
"I'd argue with the highly , but go on."
"As with any contagious disease, the first step should be to isolate the victims. Prevent the spread of the disease. By taking firm steps, I believe we could wipe out these conditions forever, in just a few years."
A vague, squishy feeling settled on my stomach. "So you would… and please, correct me if I've misinterpreted… you would round up all the werewolves you could and force them into, what? Hospitals, housing projects—" Dare I say it? Oh, sure. "—ghettos?"
Duke missed the jab entirely. "I think hospitals in this case would be most appropriate. I'm confident that given the time and resources, science will find a way to eradicate the mark of the beast that has settled on these blighted souls."
If it wasn't so sad, I'd laugh. Trouble was, I'd talked to people like this enough to know I'd never argue them out of their beliefs. "Right. I think I and my blighted soul need a drink. That must mean we're near the end of our time. Once again, Senator Duke, thank you so much for being on the show."
"Thank you for having me. And I want you to know that I am praying for you. You can be saved."
"Thanks. I appreciate it." The other thing about people like this was how they completely lacked the ability to identify sarcasm. "Right, I think we have a whole lot of food for thought after that. And just so everyone out there is clear about how I stand on the issue, and because I've never been shy about expressing my opinion: I think we need to look to the lessons of history when we discuss how the government should handle these issues. I for one don't want people with black armbands coming for me in the middle of the night." This was my show. I always got the last word.
"Thank you for listening. This is Kitty Norville, Voice of the Night." Cue the wolf howl. Another one in the can.
I sat back and sighed.
Senator Duke was staring at me. "It won't come to that."
I shrugged. "That's what they said in Berlin in the thirties."
"I would think people like you would want to be helped."
"The trouble is in how many definitions of 'help' there are. Everyone thinks they have the right answer. I did mean it, though—I appreciate your being on the show, Senator." I stood and offered my hand to shake. Frowning, he looked at it. "I can't hurt your with just a handshake. Honest."
Nodding crisply at his bodyguards, he turned his shoulder to me and left.
I blew out the breath I'd been holding. That was rough.
But never let it be said my show was one-sided.
I went to the control booth, where the engineer handed me the phone. "Hey, Matt."
"Hey, Kitty. Sounded good." Matt still worked on the show remotely, coaching the local guys on how to run things, making sure the phone number got transferred, stuff like that.
"Cool. Thanks. It only sounds good 'cause you're the best."
"Yeah, I'll believe it when Ozzie gives me a raise. Hey, speak of the devil. Talk to you later, Kitty." There was a rustling as he handed the phone over.
Ozzie came on the line. "Great show, Kitty. Just great. You had that bozo sweating, I could tell."
"You think they're all great, Ozzie."
"That's 'cause they are. I'm your biggest fan. Are you going to be in Albuquerque next week, or someplace else?"
"Someplace else, I think. I haven't decided. I'll let you know."
"I wish you could tell me why you're doing the fugitive bit."
"You don't really want to know. Trust me."
"Just remember, if you need anything, anything at all, you call me."
"Thanks, Ozzie. Give Matt a raise."
He grumbled, and I laughed.
Who said a pack had to be all werewolves?
I bought a car, a little hatchback with enormous gas mileage. I doubled my salary when I stopped paying off Carl. Maybe I'd even buy myself some new clothes. With a car I could go anywhere. I'd be traveling at my own speed from now on. And traveling, and traveling.
A couple of impolite responses occurred to me, and for once I kept them on the inside. "Well, as I've said before, while I may not be the most righteous bitch on the airwaves, I certainly don't feel particularly unrighteous. But I'm probably using the word differently than the senator. Let's just say I'm listening attentively, as usual."
The sound engineer gestured through the window to the boom, giving me a count of time left. Not Matt. I was in Albuquerque this week, at a public radio station that carried the show. It wasn't my booth, or my microphone, and the chair was too new, not as squishy as my chair back at KNOB. I missed that chair. I missed Matt.
"All right, faithful listeners—and mind you, I'm probably using the word 'faithful' differently than Senator Duke would use it. We've got just a couple of minutes left for closing words. Senator, I have one more question for you, if you don't mind."
"Go right ahead."
"Earlier in the show we discussed the little-publicized report released by a branch of the NIH, a government-sponsored study that made an empirical examination of supernatural beings such as werewolves and vampires. I'd like to ask you, if I may: If the U.S. government is on the verge of labeling lycanthropy and vampirism as diseases—by that I mean identifiable physiological conditions—how does that reconcile with the stance taken by many religious doctrines that these conditions are marks of sin?"
"Well, Ms. Norville, like you, I've read that report. And rather than contradicting my stance on these conditions as you call them, I believe it supports me."
"How?"
"I said before that I want to reach out to people suffering from these terrible afflictions—just as we as a society must reach out to anyone suffering from illness. We must help them find their way to the righteous path of light."
And what did the vampires think of being led to the path of light?
"How would you do this, Senator?" I said, a tad more diplomatically.
He straightened, launching on a speech like he'd been waiting for this moment, for this exact question. "Many diseases, such as lycanthropy and vampirism in particular, are highly contagious. Folklore has taught us this for centuries, and now modern science confirms it."
"I'd argue with the highly , but go on."
"As with any contagious disease, the first step should be to isolate the victims. Prevent the spread of the disease. By taking firm steps, I believe we could wipe out these conditions forever, in just a few years."
A vague, squishy feeling settled on my stomach. "So you would… and please, correct me if I've misinterpreted… you would round up all the werewolves you could and force them into, what? Hospitals, housing projects—" Dare I say it? Oh, sure. "—ghettos?"
Duke missed the jab entirely. "I think hospitals in this case would be most appropriate. I'm confident that given the time and resources, science will find a way to eradicate the mark of the beast that has settled on these blighted souls."
If it wasn't so sad, I'd laugh. Trouble was, I'd talked to people like this enough to know I'd never argue them out of their beliefs. "Right. I think I and my blighted soul need a drink. That must mean we're near the end of our time. Once again, Senator Duke, thank you so much for being on the show."
"Thank you for having me. And I want you to know that I am praying for you. You can be saved."
"Thanks. I appreciate it." The other thing about people like this was how they completely lacked the ability to identify sarcasm. "Right, I think we have a whole lot of food for thought after that. And just so everyone out there is clear about how I stand on the issue, and because I've never been shy about expressing my opinion: I think we need to look to the lessons of history when we discuss how the government should handle these issues. I for one don't want people with black armbands coming for me in the middle of the night." This was my show. I always got the last word.
"Thank you for listening. This is Kitty Norville, Voice of the Night." Cue the wolf howl. Another one in the can.
I sat back and sighed.
Senator Duke was staring at me. "It won't come to that."
I shrugged. "That's what they said in Berlin in the thirties."
"I would think people like you would want to be helped."
"The trouble is in how many definitions of 'help' there are. Everyone thinks they have the right answer. I did mean it, though—I appreciate your being on the show, Senator." I stood and offered my hand to shake. Frowning, he looked at it. "I can't hurt your with just a handshake. Honest."
Nodding crisply at his bodyguards, he turned his shoulder to me and left.
I blew out the breath I'd been holding. That was rough.
But never let it be said my show was one-sided.
I went to the control booth, where the engineer handed me the phone. "Hey, Matt."
"Hey, Kitty. Sounded good." Matt still worked on the show remotely, coaching the local guys on how to run things, making sure the phone number got transferred, stuff like that.
"Cool. Thanks. It only sounds good 'cause you're the best."
"Yeah, I'll believe it when Ozzie gives me a raise. Hey, speak of the devil. Talk to you later, Kitty." There was a rustling as he handed the phone over.
Ozzie came on the line. "Great show, Kitty. Just great. You had that bozo sweating, I could tell."
"You think they're all great, Ozzie."
"That's 'cause they are. I'm your biggest fan. Are you going to be in Albuquerque next week, or someplace else?"
"Someplace else, I think. I haven't decided. I'll let you know."
"I wish you could tell me why you're doing the fugitive bit."
"You don't really want to know. Trust me."
"Just remember, if you need anything, anything at all, you call me."
"Thanks, Ozzie. Give Matt a raise."
He grumbled, and I laughed.
Who said a pack had to be all werewolves?
I bought a car, a little hatchback with enormous gas mileage. I doubled my salary when I stopped paying off Carl. Maybe I'd even buy myself some new clothes. With a car I could go anywhere. I'd be traveling at my own speed from now on. And traveling, and traveling.
