Knights' Sinner
Page 58
“You’re nothin’ like him, you know?”
I nod, smiling weakly. “Yeah, I know. Sometimes, though, I worry parts of me are the same...I mean...I let him push me in here to gather information.”
“He threatened Ebony and beat the fuck out of you, there wasn’t much choice.”
I meet his gaze. “There’s always a choice, Jackson. Isn’t that the old saying?”
He shakes his head, his eyes gentle. “When you have two paths, both that end in pain, there isn’t really a choice. You just have to choose which one you can live with the easiest.”
I swallow, and nod.
“I’m sorry...for all of it. For what I did. For not listening. For the fact that he’s your father and I have to kill him.”
“Don’t be sorry for me, be sorry for him. He’s the one who is going to get everything he deserves. You know, I feel a little selfish right now?”
“Baby, I don’t hate you for what you did...”
“Not about that. I feel selfish because it’s not me that gets to kill him. Does that make me a sick person?”
“No,” he says, pulling me into his arms and rolling to his back. “A person can’t do to you, what he did to you, and actually expect to get away with it. The hate you feel, the need to make him pay, it’s normal and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with feeling like that. I’ll make him pay, Serenity. For every hand he ever laid on you. I swear it.”
“I hate myself, you know?” I whisper. “I hate myself for ever letting him put me in the position of having to lie to you.”
“Maybe you’re lookin’ at it all wrong,” he says, stroking my hair.
“How so?”
“Maybe you should see it like this...if he didn’t put you here, we’d never be doin’ what we’re doin’ right now.”
“I know that,” I whisper. “But I nearly lost you, Jackson. It nearly wasn’t worth all of this.”
“I was hurt, couldn’t see past it until I heard you screamin’ on that recorder, and then I saw you in that car, covered in blood, and I knew you weren’t evil. I knew it wasn’t your doing, and that you would never hurt me or my club. I knew that my life without you wasn’t worth livin’. I couldn’t believe I nearly lost that.”
“It took a lot not to tell you, but I knew from a very early time that I was going to lie to Hogan. It wasn’t easy.”
“No,” he says. “I don’t imagine it was.”
“I just want it over; I want to create a life for our baby.”
“I will end it for you, darlin’. I swear it.”
I know he will.
And it scares me.
What if it ends him, instead?
CHAPTER 22
SERENITY
“Be careful,” I say, hugging Janine.
“I’ll be fine. The explosive Jackson gave me is tiny. I can’t believe something so small, is going to do so much damage.”
“Are you sure you’re ok with this, you know Derek will be in that group?”
Her face hardens. “He’s a rotten, woman raping pig. I hope he burns.”
I hug her again. “Promise me you’ll be safe.”
“Promise me you’ll make sure Eb’s is ok?”
I turn and stare at the little girl playing in the corner of the warehouse. “I swear.”
“I’ll be in and out. All I have to do is drop this in the bin.”
“Do you think it will be that easy?” I say, feeling my body tense with fear.
“I think if it’s done right, it can be.”
“What if it goes wrong?” I whisper.
She steps forward, gripping my face. “You have a good group of guys here; they’re not going to let anything happen to you.”
“What about you?”
She shakes her hand. “I have to drop it in the bin. That’s it. Easy. Simple.”
“Promise me if it looks like you’re going to end up caught, you won’t do it.”
She nods. “I swear it.”
“I love you, you know that?”
She smiles, leaning down to kiss my cheek and hug me once more. “I know it, and I’ll be fine. I have to go, I’ll be back soon. I swear.”
She smiles, and turns, heading out the door. I watch her go, praying, just praying this goes right.
~*~
SERENITY
“I’m going with you Jackson,” I say, standing my ground. My arms are crossed, and I know the look in my eye is that of a determined woman.
“Like fuck you are!” he growls, crossing his arms too, and glaring at me.
“I know the land. I know where to hide. I know where you can see without being seen. Without me, you’ll put yourself in danger. You risk being caught.”
“She’s right boss,” Cade says, sucking on a cigarette. “We need her help. We don’t want to fuck this up a second time.”
“She’s carryin’ my motherfuckin’ baby!” Jackson bellows.
“She’s goin’ to be far enough away it won’t be a problem, we just need her to show us where to hide, and then someone can bring her back.”
I give Jackson a look, even though he’s glaring at me. “Jackson, you know this has to happen.”
“Fine,” he barks. “You point it out, and then you’re gone. I mean it, Serenity.”
I nod, smiling weakly. “Yeah, I know. Sometimes, though, I worry parts of me are the same...I mean...I let him push me in here to gather information.”
“He threatened Ebony and beat the fuck out of you, there wasn’t much choice.”
I meet his gaze. “There’s always a choice, Jackson. Isn’t that the old saying?”
He shakes his head, his eyes gentle. “When you have two paths, both that end in pain, there isn’t really a choice. You just have to choose which one you can live with the easiest.”
I swallow, and nod.
“I’m sorry...for all of it. For what I did. For not listening. For the fact that he’s your father and I have to kill him.”
“Don’t be sorry for me, be sorry for him. He’s the one who is going to get everything he deserves. You know, I feel a little selfish right now?”
“Baby, I don’t hate you for what you did...”
“Not about that. I feel selfish because it’s not me that gets to kill him. Does that make me a sick person?”
“No,” he says, pulling me into his arms and rolling to his back. “A person can’t do to you, what he did to you, and actually expect to get away with it. The hate you feel, the need to make him pay, it’s normal and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with feeling like that. I’ll make him pay, Serenity. For every hand he ever laid on you. I swear it.”
“I hate myself, you know?” I whisper. “I hate myself for ever letting him put me in the position of having to lie to you.”
“Maybe you’re lookin’ at it all wrong,” he says, stroking my hair.
“How so?”
“Maybe you should see it like this...if he didn’t put you here, we’d never be doin’ what we’re doin’ right now.”
“I know that,” I whisper. “But I nearly lost you, Jackson. It nearly wasn’t worth all of this.”
“I was hurt, couldn’t see past it until I heard you screamin’ on that recorder, and then I saw you in that car, covered in blood, and I knew you weren’t evil. I knew it wasn’t your doing, and that you would never hurt me or my club. I knew that my life without you wasn’t worth livin’. I couldn’t believe I nearly lost that.”
“It took a lot not to tell you, but I knew from a very early time that I was going to lie to Hogan. It wasn’t easy.”
“No,” he says. “I don’t imagine it was.”
“I just want it over; I want to create a life for our baby.”
“I will end it for you, darlin’. I swear it.”
I know he will.
And it scares me.
What if it ends him, instead?
CHAPTER 22
SERENITY
“Be careful,” I say, hugging Janine.
“I’ll be fine. The explosive Jackson gave me is tiny. I can’t believe something so small, is going to do so much damage.”
“Are you sure you’re ok with this, you know Derek will be in that group?”
Her face hardens. “He’s a rotten, woman raping pig. I hope he burns.”
I hug her again. “Promise me you’ll be safe.”
“Promise me you’ll make sure Eb’s is ok?”
I turn and stare at the little girl playing in the corner of the warehouse. “I swear.”
“I’ll be in and out. All I have to do is drop this in the bin.”
“Do you think it will be that easy?” I say, feeling my body tense with fear.
“I think if it’s done right, it can be.”
“What if it goes wrong?” I whisper.
She steps forward, gripping my face. “You have a good group of guys here; they’re not going to let anything happen to you.”
“What about you?”
She shakes her hand. “I have to drop it in the bin. That’s it. Easy. Simple.”
“Promise me if it looks like you’re going to end up caught, you won’t do it.”
She nods. “I swear it.”
“I love you, you know that?”
She smiles, leaning down to kiss my cheek and hug me once more. “I know it, and I’ll be fine. I have to go, I’ll be back soon. I swear.”
She smiles, and turns, heading out the door. I watch her go, praying, just praying this goes right.
~*~
SERENITY
“I’m going with you Jackson,” I say, standing my ground. My arms are crossed, and I know the look in my eye is that of a determined woman.
“Like fuck you are!” he growls, crossing his arms too, and glaring at me.
“I know the land. I know where to hide. I know where you can see without being seen. Without me, you’ll put yourself in danger. You risk being caught.”
“She’s right boss,” Cade says, sucking on a cigarette. “We need her help. We don’t want to fuck this up a second time.”
“She’s carryin’ my motherfuckin’ baby!” Jackson bellows.
“She’s goin’ to be far enough away it won’t be a problem, we just need her to show us where to hide, and then someone can bring her back.”
I give Jackson a look, even though he’s glaring at me. “Jackson, you know this has to happen.”
“Fine,” he barks. “You point it out, and then you’re gone. I mean it, Serenity.”
