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Laces and Lace

Page 107

   


“That’s great,” he said breathlessly. “I love you.”
“I love you more,” she whispered back.
She lay languidly against him, and he wasn’t sure she was going to make it. It had been a long night, and then he had just given it to her in the naughtiest way. Crawling off the bed, he picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. Her nose nuzzled in his neck as she said, “You don’t have to carry me; I weigh a ton.”
“You weigh nothing,” he answered, opening the glass and marble shower and stepping inside.
She smiled. “That’s ’cause you are all strong and stuff.”
His mouth broke into a grin as he turned on the shower, the water running over their bodies. Standing her up, he leaned her against him and held her. Kissing his cheek, she wrapped her arms around his waist and closed her eyes as she laid her head against him. He held her close and moved his hands along her slippery body. Reaching for the soap, he lathered her up and then him as best as he could before washing them off. When she looked up at him, a sneaky grin on her face, he smiled, putting some bubbles on her nose before reaching for the shampoo all while her giggles ran down his spine.
As he washed her hair, he realized he had never really thought this was how he would spend his night with his wife. But there he was, a grin on his face, feeling completely content. He always thought marriage was going to be shit because he wouldn’t be with the girl he wanted. But by the grace of God, he was with her, and being married to her was more than he could have ever dreamed of. He had so many plans for them, but even if all he did was stay in the shower with her and wash her hair, he’d be okay.
Once he was done washing them, they got out and were playful as they brushed their teeth and redressed for bed. Crawling under the sheets, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him and kissing her forehead. Her face was full of a blush and her lips were still swollen from their hot kisses. In other words, she was drop-dead gorgeous. Running his hand up her face, he twirled his fingers in her wet hair and smiled when she opened her eyes.
“I’m worn out,” she said shyly. “That was amazing, all of it.”
“It was,” he agreed, his other arm tightening around her so she couldn’t go anywhere. His arm was falling asleep but he didn’t care. He wanted to be as close as he could to his striking wife. Kissing her lips, he closed his eyes, basking in the feel of her so close. He was going to miss her when he was gone, but the thought of coming home to her after a long two weeks away almost had him excited. If they did these kinds of things when they hung out all the time, he could just imagine what they would do once they were back together after being apart for so long.
Opening his eyes though, he remembered the reason for the hot sex and eyed her for a second. He’d been trying to ease her tension and he’d succeeded, but they needed to talk. He didn’t want to upset her or stress her out, but he had to know what he had said that was wrong.
When he moved his thumb along her jaw, she opened her eyes and then smiled.
“What?” she asked, her cheeks warming.
His eyes searched hers. She was tired, he could see that, but he needed to know what was going on. “What happened earlier?”
Her face didn’t change expression as she asked, “Earlier?”
“Yeah, when I asked about having kids,” he reminded her, and as soon as the last words left his lips, she looked down between them. “What’s up with that?”
She shrugged and he could feel her heart picking up in speed. “Nothing.”
“Nothing? That’s not an answer. What’s going on?”
Meeting his gaze, she bit into her lip. “I’m not ready for that.”
Something was off with the way she said that. “What do you mean? You’re not ready to discuss having kids, or having them?”
“Both,” she said softly. “It just seems so soon, you know? We’ve only been married a month.”
“No, I get that.”
But still he wanted to talk about the possibility of having them in the future. The way she said it kind of gave him the feeling she never wanted them. That was insane though. She loved kids.
“How many do you want?” she asked softly as he met her gaze. Yeah, something was definitely off; she was holding something in and he didn’t like that.
Shrugging, he said, “I don’t know, maybe three?” When her face twisted in horror, he added, “But if you aren’t ready yet, which I totally understand, then maybe we can get a dog or a cat?”
“Yeah,” she said softly. “We’ll see.”
“You’re okay, right? I’m getting the vibe that this isn’t something you want,” he said and she moved her nose against his jaw.
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
“Why don’t you know? It’s pretty much a yes or no question,” he said, pulling back so he could see her face, but she looked away.
“I just don’t know,” she answered again. “Is that a deal-breaker for you?”
“What?” he asked confused. “What do you mean by that?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know, ignore that, I’m sorry. I’m supertired, Karson, can we do this later?”
“Do what? Talk about our future?”
She let out a breath as she met his gaze. He could see something in there. He wasn’t sure what it was, but her eyes were watering a bit with tears and he was extremely confused. Looking away again, she said, “It’s just I don’t know what I want. I know I want you, but the thought of having a child just isn’t there right now.”