Laces and Lace
Page 130
Wiping the tears from her face, she tried to keep up as Karson dragged her through the house, up the stairs, and into their room. Before the door could shut though, she asked, “Do you think it’s a good idea to leave them alone?”
“I don’t fucking care,” he said before slamming the door. “I want to know what the hell happened in Chicago!”
Her head cocked to the side. “Chicago?”
“Yeah, apparently you thought you had cancer again, and instead of calling your husband, you called upon your fucking cunt of a best friend.”
Oh. Shit.
Only able to blink at Karson, she sucked in a deep breath.
“Talk, Lacey! Tell me why you lied to me. You told me you were fine! Why would you keep something like that from me? What the fuck?”
Her palms started to sweat before the last word left his mouth. Her heart jackhammered against her ribs, and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. This was something she should have been the one to tell him, and she hadn’t. She fucked up.
“I’m so sorry, Karson. I totally forgot to tell you when I got back.”
“When you got back!” he practically yelled. “I would have been there for you. I would have held you and been the rock you needed.”
“You were, though,” she tried to say calmly, but her voice was shaky. “Even without knowing it, Karson, you were. All I needed was your voice, and I knew I was going to be okay.”
“No! You should have told me.”
“You’re absolutely right. I should have and I am so sorry, but when I called, you were at the hospital with JT and already going through so much. I figured I’d tell you later that weekend, but I just couldn’t put any more stress on you.”
He shook his head, his face red with anger. “No, JT is not my wife—you are. Yeah, I was worried about my friend, but you would have come before he did.”
“I know that, and you’re right, I should have told you. But I kept putting it off, and then finally, I went and they said I was fine. I just have a blood issue that made my levels all messed up. I figured I’d tell you once I got home, but then we had our amazing week together, and then I was nervous about this, and it just slipped my mind. I’m so, so sorry.”
He bit into his lip before looking away. She took a step toward him to comfort him, but he put his hand up, stopping her. “No. Give me a second. I am so fucking mad.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
As he looked down at her, she could see the tears in his eyes and they honestly devastated her. Ignoring his outstretched hands, she pushed them aside and wrapped her arms around his middle, nuzzling her nose in his chest. He wouldn’t put his arms around her like he usually did, and soon the tears were falling in buckets down her cheeks.
Clearing his throat, he said, “Do you know what it was like to look into Rachel’s and your dad’s eyes and feel like the lowest piece of scum on this fucking earth? They made me feel like I didn’t deserve you, like I was worthless because I wasn’t there for you like I should have been. I am your husband. I am supposed to be there and be your fucking rock, and you didn’t give me that opportunity.”
“I’m so sorry, Karson. You’re right, I was wrong. I should have told you,” she cried, hugging him tighter. “You are worth so much more than they’ll ever admit, and you do deserve me.”
Taking her face in his hands, he tipped her head back, looking deep into her eyes. His caramel eyes were swimming with tears and everything inside her just hurt. She never wanted to hurt him; she was only trying to protect him from worrying about her. “No, I don’t. No one does, but somehow, I convinced you to marry me and now you are mine.”
“Forever,” she swore.
“That’s fucking right, for-damn-ever, and don’t forget it,” he demanded, and when his voice broke, she almost came undone. Swallowing back her own sob, she couldn’t believe she had done this.
“I won’t,” she promised as his thumbs caught her tears, wiping them away.
“Don’t ever do that to me again. Tell me next time. Let me be there. I don’t care what the hell I am going through. You are it. My number one priority. Nothing matters but you.”
Her lip wobbled as she slowly nodded her head. “I promise and I’m so sorry.”
Lowering his mouth to hers, he kissed her softly and she held on to him like a life preserver. She never wanted him to look at her like that again. Like she had stabbed him in the back, over and over again without a care in the world. She really had forgotten and was just living life with him, but it would never happen again. She wanted to be mad at her family, throw the blame on them, but it was no one’s fault but her own, and she would accept the blame. She should have told him back when she talked to her doctor. Instead, she stressed and worried when she could have handed some of that over to him.
“I really am sorry,” she whispered against his lips as her hands snaked around his neck, her eyes searching his.
He shrugged. “This is going to happen, Lacey. We are going to do dumb shit, and one person is going to be there to knock sense into the other. It’s what marriage is. We are going to fuck up, but it’s okay because I love you, and it’s easy to forgive something like this.”
Bringing him down to her, she rested her head against his, kissing his nose. “I’m sorry that I’m a dumbass.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry,” he demanded. “It’s over. We fought, we’ve made up, and now we get to go downstairs and face the clusterfuck of crap that is our families.”
“I don’t fucking care,” he said before slamming the door. “I want to know what the hell happened in Chicago!”
Her head cocked to the side. “Chicago?”
“Yeah, apparently you thought you had cancer again, and instead of calling your husband, you called upon your fucking cunt of a best friend.”
Oh. Shit.
Only able to blink at Karson, she sucked in a deep breath.
“Talk, Lacey! Tell me why you lied to me. You told me you were fine! Why would you keep something like that from me? What the fuck?”
Her palms started to sweat before the last word left his mouth. Her heart jackhammered against her ribs, and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. This was something she should have been the one to tell him, and she hadn’t. She fucked up.
“I’m so sorry, Karson. I totally forgot to tell you when I got back.”
“When you got back!” he practically yelled. “I would have been there for you. I would have held you and been the rock you needed.”
“You were, though,” she tried to say calmly, but her voice was shaky. “Even without knowing it, Karson, you were. All I needed was your voice, and I knew I was going to be okay.”
“No! You should have told me.”
“You’re absolutely right. I should have and I am so sorry, but when I called, you were at the hospital with JT and already going through so much. I figured I’d tell you later that weekend, but I just couldn’t put any more stress on you.”
He shook his head, his face red with anger. “No, JT is not my wife—you are. Yeah, I was worried about my friend, but you would have come before he did.”
“I know that, and you’re right, I should have told you. But I kept putting it off, and then finally, I went and they said I was fine. I just have a blood issue that made my levels all messed up. I figured I’d tell you once I got home, but then we had our amazing week together, and then I was nervous about this, and it just slipped my mind. I’m so, so sorry.”
He bit into his lip before looking away. She took a step toward him to comfort him, but he put his hand up, stopping her. “No. Give me a second. I am so fucking mad.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
As he looked down at her, she could see the tears in his eyes and they honestly devastated her. Ignoring his outstretched hands, she pushed them aside and wrapped her arms around his middle, nuzzling her nose in his chest. He wouldn’t put his arms around her like he usually did, and soon the tears were falling in buckets down her cheeks.
Clearing his throat, he said, “Do you know what it was like to look into Rachel’s and your dad’s eyes and feel like the lowest piece of scum on this fucking earth? They made me feel like I didn’t deserve you, like I was worthless because I wasn’t there for you like I should have been. I am your husband. I am supposed to be there and be your fucking rock, and you didn’t give me that opportunity.”
“I’m so sorry, Karson. You’re right, I was wrong. I should have told you,” she cried, hugging him tighter. “You are worth so much more than they’ll ever admit, and you do deserve me.”
Taking her face in his hands, he tipped her head back, looking deep into her eyes. His caramel eyes were swimming with tears and everything inside her just hurt. She never wanted to hurt him; she was only trying to protect him from worrying about her. “No, I don’t. No one does, but somehow, I convinced you to marry me and now you are mine.”
“Forever,” she swore.
“That’s fucking right, for-damn-ever, and don’t forget it,” he demanded, and when his voice broke, she almost came undone. Swallowing back her own sob, she couldn’t believe she had done this.
“I won’t,” she promised as his thumbs caught her tears, wiping them away.
“Don’t ever do that to me again. Tell me next time. Let me be there. I don’t care what the hell I am going through. You are it. My number one priority. Nothing matters but you.”
Her lip wobbled as she slowly nodded her head. “I promise and I’m so sorry.”
Lowering his mouth to hers, he kissed her softly and she held on to him like a life preserver. She never wanted him to look at her like that again. Like she had stabbed him in the back, over and over again without a care in the world. She really had forgotten and was just living life with him, but it would never happen again. She wanted to be mad at her family, throw the blame on them, but it was no one’s fault but her own, and she would accept the blame. She should have told him back when she talked to her doctor. Instead, she stressed and worried when she could have handed some of that over to him.
“I really am sorry,” she whispered against his lips as her hands snaked around his neck, her eyes searching his.
He shrugged. “This is going to happen, Lacey. We are going to do dumb shit, and one person is going to be there to knock sense into the other. It’s what marriage is. We are going to fuck up, but it’s okay because I love you, and it’s easy to forgive something like this.”
Bringing him down to her, she rested her head against his, kissing his nose. “I’m sorry that I’m a dumbass.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry,” he demanded. “It’s over. We fought, we’ve made up, and now we get to go downstairs and face the clusterfuck of crap that is our families.”
