Laid Bare
Page 14
All those years ago he’d walked away and left what had made him joyful—when he wasn’t miserable that he liked it. He’d denied his sexual need to dominate women ever since, had starved a whole side of himself and lived half a life.
Although she had no idea, she’d given him small respite in the dark when he’d closed his eyes and fantasized about her. Erin, her hair in his fist as he’d held her in place and done whatever he wanted to her beautiful, willing body.
Here, now in her condo with the evening sun dancing over the water, reflecting up to her windows, he could admit it was all about Erin. His need to finally open up and admit he liked to dominate and control women in bed had been kindled by this amazing woman. She was the key to the lock he’d kept on his secret urges and he would finally own up to it all.
What a fantastic coincidence that he’d found her again—even better, found her unfettered and still attracted to him. He’d never been one for believing in things like fate, but looking at where he sat just then eroded a lot of skepticism he might have had. It was meant to happen, and he wasn’t going to dance around what he really wanted ever again.
She slid the hot casserole dish onto the pad on her table and sat. “That’s some look you have on your face. Wanna share?” She made him a plate, surprising him even as he loved how it made him feel to be taken care of that way.
“Erin.” He took a sip of his drink before speaking again. No more dancing. Just say it. “I was just thinking about how much I loved dominating you.” Once he’d let it out, he felt a thousand times better.
She looked up from what she was doing, locking her gaze with his. “I loved being dominated by you.”
“If I told you to get on your knees and suck my cock, what would you say?”
She leaned back in her chair, raising a brow. “I’d say a real dom doesn’t ask. But I’d also say you’re not my top; not yet anyway. I’d also remind you that you left me a decade ago because you were ashamed of that part of yourself, and I’d want to know just exactly what’s changed before we went there again.”
He grinned and forked up a mouthful of food, pleased she took him seriously. “Okay. We can talk more about that after we eat. Christ, were you this good a cook before?”
She quirked a smile. “Not really. I took some classes when I landed in LA. Or rather, I waitressed in this fancy restaurant and the owner liked me and she let me hang out in the kitchen and learn. She told me if I ever gave up music, I should open a restaurant. My café is nothing compared to her place, but at heart, I love good, simple food made with fresh ingredients. The Market is just blocks from here, so I shop for fresh food pretty much daily.”
“Why did you come back here, Erin?”
“Why did you come back here?” she countered.
He took a deep breath. “Everything about my life had been a lie. I married a woman I enjoyed but didn’t love. I hid part of myself from her because I was ashamed. I worked in a division I wasn’t suited for. I missed my family. I missed Seattle. My wife grew, not to hate me, but to not care about me one way or the other, and it was my fault. She wanted kids, but I couldn’t see myself having children with her. Then I got shot. Several times. And was in a coma. Three days of being just shy of death is not an experience I ever want to repeat. But I’ll give her credit, she stayed until I recovered, and then served me with divorce papers. I went through some pretty nasty surgeries and then physical therapy. Last month when I finally got my papers saying I could go back to work, I accepted the offer of an old friend to buy in as a partner at his security firm here in town.”
“Are you okay now?” She brushed the sensitive skin at his wrist, a butterfly of a touch with alarmed fingers.
Moved, he took her hand, drawing it to his mouth and kissing her fingertips. “I am now. Here with you. I came back here to live a full life. When I saw you today, it made sense. It was right for the first time in more years than I can remember. Pink hair.” He smiled. “I like it. I like you, Erin, and I know I was a fool for walking away before. I’m the same in many ways, but different in all the ones that count.” He exhaled. “Can I be honest with you?”
“I insist.” She shrugged. “Tell me, Todd. I told you then and I’ll say it again—I won’t judge you.”
No, she never had. And it gave him the courage to say it, to tell her what he wanted most. “I want to top you. I want you to submit to me.” He nipped her fingertip. “And only me.”
A smile hinted at the right corner of her mouth. The corner where her dimple made a sweet dent. “Only you, huh? And would I be the only woman you topped?”
“Of course.” He felt as if he were in a job interview or something. He was supposed to be in charge, but right then she held it all in her hands. Which, given what he was prepared to ask—demand—of her, he supposed made sense.
She shrugged with a small, feminine sound and went back to eating. He wanted to laugh—hell, he wanted to spank her ass—but he just shook his head at her, amused.
Once they’d eaten, and Erin noticed he’d had three platefuls, he helped her clear the dishes and start the dishwasher.
Her body was on fire and she wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. She’d very nearly dropped to her knees to suck his c**k when he’d suggested it before. But while she wasn’t looking for marriage or even love, she was looking for a man who was serious about the business of D/s. She and Jeremy had edged around it, but he’d never really gotten into it. She’d craved it, and his disinterest and halfhearted gestures had only left part of her unsatisfied and empty.
Although she had no idea, she’d given him small respite in the dark when he’d closed his eyes and fantasized about her. Erin, her hair in his fist as he’d held her in place and done whatever he wanted to her beautiful, willing body.
Here, now in her condo with the evening sun dancing over the water, reflecting up to her windows, he could admit it was all about Erin. His need to finally open up and admit he liked to dominate and control women in bed had been kindled by this amazing woman. She was the key to the lock he’d kept on his secret urges and he would finally own up to it all.
What a fantastic coincidence that he’d found her again—even better, found her unfettered and still attracted to him. He’d never been one for believing in things like fate, but looking at where he sat just then eroded a lot of skepticism he might have had. It was meant to happen, and he wasn’t going to dance around what he really wanted ever again.
She slid the hot casserole dish onto the pad on her table and sat. “That’s some look you have on your face. Wanna share?” She made him a plate, surprising him even as he loved how it made him feel to be taken care of that way.
“Erin.” He took a sip of his drink before speaking again. No more dancing. Just say it. “I was just thinking about how much I loved dominating you.” Once he’d let it out, he felt a thousand times better.
She looked up from what she was doing, locking her gaze with his. “I loved being dominated by you.”
“If I told you to get on your knees and suck my cock, what would you say?”
She leaned back in her chair, raising a brow. “I’d say a real dom doesn’t ask. But I’d also say you’re not my top; not yet anyway. I’d also remind you that you left me a decade ago because you were ashamed of that part of yourself, and I’d want to know just exactly what’s changed before we went there again.”
He grinned and forked up a mouthful of food, pleased she took him seriously. “Okay. We can talk more about that after we eat. Christ, were you this good a cook before?”
She quirked a smile. “Not really. I took some classes when I landed in LA. Or rather, I waitressed in this fancy restaurant and the owner liked me and she let me hang out in the kitchen and learn. She told me if I ever gave up music, I should open a restaurant. My café is nothing compared to her place, but at heart, I love good, simple food made with fresh ingredients. The Market is just blocks from here, so I shop for fresh food pretty much daily.”
“Why did you come back here, Erin?”
“Why did you come back here?” she countered.
He took a deep breath. “Everything about my life had been a lie. I married a woman I enjoyed but didn’t love. I hid part of myself from her because I was ashamed. I worked in a division I wasn’t suited for. I missed my family. I missed Seattle. My wife grew, not to hate me, but to not care about me one way or the other, and it was my fault. She wanted kids, but I couldn’t see myself having children with her. Then I got shot. Several times. And was in a coma. Three days of being just shy of death is not an experience I ever want to repeat. But I’ll give her credit, she stayed until I recovered, and then served me with divorce papers. I went through some pretty nasty surgeries and then physical therapy. Last month when I finally got my papers saying I could go back to work, I accepted the offer of an old friend to buy in as a partner at his security firm here in town.”
“Are you okay now?” She brushed the sensitive skin at his wrist, a butterfly of a touch with alarmed fingers.
Moved, he took her hand, drawing it to his mouth and kissing her fingertips. “I am now. Here with you. I came back here to live a full life. When I saw you today, it made sense. It was right for the first time in more years than I can remember. Pink hair.” He smiled. “I like it. I like you, Erin, and I know I was a fool for walking away before. I’m the same in many ways, but different in all the ones that count.” He exhaled. “Can I be honest with you?”
“I insist.” She shrugged. “Tell me, Todd. I told you then and I’ll say it again—I won’t judge you.”
No, she never had. And it gave him the courage to say it, to tell her what he wanted most. “I want to top you. I want you to submit to me.” He nipped her fingertip. “And only me.”
A smile hinted at the right corner of her mouth. The corner where her dimple made a sweet dent. “Only you, huh? And would I be the only woman you topped?”
“Of course.” He felt as if he were in a job interview or something. He was supposed to be in charge, but right then she held it all in her hands. Which, given what he was prepared to ask—demand—of her, he supposed made sense.
She shrugged with a small, feminine sound and went back to eating. He wanted to laugh—hell, he wanted to spank her ass—but he just shook his head at her, amused.
Once they’d eaten, and Erin noticed he’d had three platefuls, he helped her clear the dishes and start the dishwasher.
Her body was on fire and she wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. She’d very nearly dropped to her knees to suck his c**k when he’d suggested it before. But while she wasn’t looking for marriage or even love, she was looking for a man who was serious about the business of D/s. She and Jeremy had edged around it, but he’d never really gotten into it. She’d craved it, and his disinterest and halfhearted gestures had only left part of her unsatisfied and empty.
