Legal Briefs
Page 3
“Why didn’t you wave back?” he demanded with a maniacal smile. He was so intent on looking like he was having a blast that he was now dancing like a muppet.
“Because he’s laughing at me. Will you stop that? You look like you’re having a spasm. Someone’s going to call the paramedics.”
“He’s not laughing at you. Well, maybe a little, but not in a mean way. More in a ‘she’s pretty adorable’ way. I’m telling you.”
“I’m not adorable,” I said, feeling unreasonably irritated. “Chipmunks are adorable. I’m empowered.” You keep telling yourself that, Lily, I thought.
The truth was that while Adam might be laughing at Bruce, he probably wasn’t laughing at me. Jason, who had put himself through college as a Chippendale’s dancer, had been teaching me all kinds of sexy moves, and I could seriously shake my pom-poms when I wanted to. At the moment, I was doing things with my hips that would have made Shakira jealous.
“Since you’re so liberated, I guess you don’t care that he’s seriously checking you out now!” Bruce the muppet yelled, while executing a move that looked kind of like those double axels that ice skaters did.
“What do you mean, seriously? Not that it matters!”
“I’ll give you ten to one that he’s picturing you naked underneath him moving like that.”
“He probably pictures every woman that way,” I said dismissively, while my less-empowered, inner-girlie girl secretly beamed.
“Not if that other chick was any indication. She was practically jerking him off, but he looked like he was thinking about what socks to wear tomorrow. I think you’re making him hard from thirty feet away, though.”
“Maybe he’ll give the blonde a second chance to service him in the men’s room.”
I was starting to enjoy the idea that Adam was watching me move, and I began to let Bruce engage me more so that he could stop throwing himself all over the floor like a death scene in a silent movie. Seeing that I was loosening up, he changed tactics and began saying hilariously obscene things about the other patrons of the club around us. By the next song, I was a bit sweaty, but laughing and dancing in a fun flirtatious way with Bruce who, thank God, had finally started acting like a normal human being again.
“After this song, we’ll walk back to our table past him!” he shouted. “Stop and say ‘hi’ and try not to look like you’re having a colonoscopy.”
The song ended and Bruce started fanning himself like a Southern Belle and acting more effeminate than I had ever seen him act before. Ever. Give me a break! This performance deserved an Academy Award. He practically skipped off the dance floor. So much for normal. I sighed, steeled my nerves and walked in Adam’s direction.
“Lily, fancy meeting you here,” Adam shouted with a smile. I tried to figure out if there was an insult in there somewhere. Maybe I hadn’t heard him well enough.
“You’re not going to call me Lilith like you usually do?” I asked suspiciously. Adam was fond of calling by the name of the mythical queen of the demons.
“Feeling succubus-like this evening?”
“Perhaps some other time,” I yelled back and he actually laughed.
“Hello! We haven’t formally met but I’ve seen you in the library. I’m Bruce,” Bruce said, holding his hand out to Adam like he expected him to kiss it. “Lily is keeping me company while my partner, Jason, is on call at the hospital.”
“In case you didn’t catch that, Bruce was telling you that he’s g*y. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, though, because he and Jason are a very happy couple.”
Bruce scowled at me and then rolled his eyes. “Would it kill you to be a little friendlier, Lil?” he demanded, putting his hands on his hips and giving me a pouty face. Suddenly he was Bette Davis. I had never seen him act like this before. Where was he getting this shit?
“What?” I sputtered, feeling appalled. “If you think that wasn’t friendly you should hear the things he’s said to me!”
“Well, he didn’t say any of them tonight. I think you should apologize.” My mouth literally popped open, but Bruce just continued to give me his most reproving look. I sighed.
“I’m sorry I was unfriendly,” I shouted. I mentioned how Bruce could compel me to do things, right? Sometimes I wondered if he had mind control powers.
“I accept your apology,” Adam answered, looking like he was trying not to laugh. I wondered if the busses were still running so I could throw myself under one. Bruce took his cell out of his pocket and read a text message.
“Oh shit! Jason got called in and I have his keys. I have to run. Let me call you a cab.”
“It’s okay. I can call one.”
“I’ll take you home,” Adam cut in. I looked at him in shock. Bruce looked at him with glee and beat it out of there so fast he practically left a dust cloud in his path. He was gone before he could say “beep beep.” Adam was taking me home. Oh God.
Chapter Two
I wasn’t really sure what to do next. Was I supposed to return to my table and track him down again later when I wanted to leave? Should I join him at his table? What if his blonde was just in the bathroom or something?
His eyes slid down my body and that same, not-so-liberated, inner part of me clapped with glee that I had decided to make an effort to look good that night. And I did look good, damn it, not at all like the mousy librarian Adam saw me as. I had on black form-fitting pants that flattered my figure, tucked into black high-heeled boots and paired with a scoop-necked knit top in a deep shade of purple that I liked. I didn’t shrink back at all under his gaze. In fact, I cocked an eyebrow and gave him my best smirk.
“See something you like?” I asked sarcastically.
“I don’t know. Your clothes are in the way. Why don’t you sit down and join me, or would you rather stand there all night?” he shouted. He was dressed in an olive button down and black trousers, looking much too sexy. I tried not to think about how much I wanted to run my tongue along the stubble on his jaw.
“I thought that maybe your companion would be returning,” I answered, hiding my desire behind an unfriendly look. Bruce wasn’t here to take his side anymore.
“Who?” he asked.
“Your friend, the blonde dairy state.”
“Oh, her? She wasn’t my companion. Although she would have liked to have been,” he replied and smiled smugly, looking back up to meet my eyes again. I wanted to kick him.
“Because he’s laughing at me. Will you stop that? You look like you’re having a spasm. Someone’s going to call the paramedics.”
“He’s not laughing at you. Well, maybe a little, but not in a mean way. More in a ‘she’s pretty adorable’ way. I’m telling you.”
“I’m not adorable,” I said, feeling unreasonably irritated. “Chipmunks are adorable. I’m empowered.” You keep telling yourself that, Lily, I thought.
The truth was that while Adam might be laughing at Bruce, he probably wasn’t laughing at me. Jason, who had put himself through college as a Chippendale’s dancer, had been teaching me all kinds of sexy moves, and I could seriously shake my pom-poms when I wanted to. At the moment, I was doing things with my hips that would have made Shakira jealous.
“Since you’re so liberated, I guess you don’t care that he’s seriously checking you out now!” Bruce the muppet yelled, while executing a move that looked kind of like those double axels that ice skaters did.
“What do you mean, seriously? Not that it matters!”
“I’ll give you ten to one that he’s picturing you naked underneath him moving like that.”
“He probably pictures every woman that way,” I said dismissively, while my less-empowered, inner-girlie girl secretly beamed.
“Not if that other chick was any indication. She was practically jerking him off, but he looked like he was thinking about what socks to wear tomorrow. I think you’re making him hard from thirty feet away, though.”
“Maybe he’ll give the blonde a second chance to service him in the men’s room.”
I was starting to enjoy the idea that Adam was watching me move, and I began to let Bruce engage me more so that he could stop throwing himself all over the floor like a death scene in a silent movie. Seeing that I was loosening up, he changed tactics and began saying hilariously obscene things about the other patrons of the club around us. By the next song, I was a bit sweaty, but laughing and dancing in a fun flirtatious way with Bruce who, thank God, had finally started acting like a normal human being again.
“After this song, we’ll walk back to our table past him!” he shouted. “Stop and say ‘hi’ and try not to look like you’re having a colonoscopy.”
The song ended and Bruce started fanning himself like a Southern Belle and acting more effeminate than I had ever seen him act before. Ever. Give me a break! This performance deserved an Academy Award. He practically skipped off the dance floor. So much for normal. I sighed, steeled my nerves and walked in Adam’s direction.
“Lily, fancy meeting you here,” Adam shouted with a smile. I tried to figure out if there was an insult in there somewhere. Maybe I hadn’t heard him well enough.
“You’re not going to call me Lilith like you usually do?” I asked suspiciously. Adam was fond of calling by the name of the mythical queen of the demons.
“Feeling succubus-like this evening?”
“Perhaps some other time,” I yelled back and he actually laughed.
“Hello! We haven’t formally met but I’ve seen you in the library. I’m Bruce,” Bruce said, holding his hand out to Adam like he expected him to kiss it. “Lily is keeping me company while my partner, Jason, is on call at the hospital.”
“In case you didn’t catch that, Bruce was telling you that he’s g*y. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, though, because he and Jason are a very happy couple.”
Bruce scowled at me and then rolled his eyes. “Would it kill you to be a little friendlier, Lil?” he demanded, putting his hands on his hips and giving me a pouty face. Suddenly he was Bette Davis. I had never seen him act like this before. Where was he getting this shit?
“What?” I sputtered, feeling appalled. “If you think that wasn’t friendly you should hear the things he’s said to me!”
“Well, he didn’t say any of them tonight. I think you should apologize.” My mouth literally popped open, but Bruce just continued to give me his most reproving look. I sighed.
“I’m sorry I was unfriendly,” I shouted. I mentioned how Bruce could compel me to do things, right? Sometimes I wondered if he had mind control powers.
“I accept your apology,” Adam answered, looking like he was trying not to laugh. I wondered if the busses were still running so I could throw myself under one. Bruce took his cell out of his pocket and read a text message.
“Oh shit! Jason got called in and I have his keys. I have to run. Let me call you a cab.”
“It’s okay. I can call one.”
“I’ll take you home,” Adam cut in. I looked at him in shock. Bruce looked at him with glee and beat it out of there so fast he practically left a dust cloud in his path. He was gone before he could say “beep beep.” Adam was taking me home. Oh God.
Chapter Two
I wasn’t really sure what to do next. Was I supposed to return to my table and track him down again later when I wanted to leave? Should I join him at his table? What if his blonde was just in the bathroom or something?
His eyes slid down my body and that same, not-so-liberated, inner part of me clapped with glee that I had decided to make an effort to look good that night. And I did look good, damn it, not at all like the mousy librarian Adam saw me as. I had on black form-fitting pants that flattered my figure, tucked into black high-heeled boots and paired with a scoop-necked knit top in a deep shade of purple that I liked. I didn’t shrink back at all under his gaze. In fact, I cocked an eyebrow and gave him my best smirk.
“See something you like?” I asked sarcastically.
“I don’t know. Your clothes are in the way. Why don’t you sit down and join me, or would you rather stand there all night?” he shouted. He was dressed in an olive button down and black trousers, looking much too sexy. I tried not to think about how much I wanted to run my tongue along the stubble on his jaw.
“I thought that maybe your companion would be returning,” I answered, hiding my desire behind an unfriendly look. Bruce wasn’t here to take his side anymore.
“Who?” he asked.
“Your friend, the blonde dairy state.”
“Oh, her? She wasn’t my companion. Although she would have liked to have been,” he replied and smiled smugly, looking back up to meet my eyes again. I wanted to kick him.
