Letting Go
Page 66
“Don’t be a dick,” I said in a huff.
My mind instantly went to Jagger’s mom, and the guilt I’d been struggling with ever since I’d seen her came back to twist at my stomach. I’d told Jagger he couldn’t protect me from everything, and I was doing the exact same thing. Well, I was protecting him from one thing . . . one thing that—as the days passed—felt like it was consuming my world and mind.
“Hey, Graham, I have a question.”
His eyes drifted back to me, both eyebrows rising to show he was waiting.
“So, hypothetically—”
“Don’t start anything with that,” he said quickly, cutting me off.
“What?”
“When people start off a question with a hypothetical scenario, that just means it’s actually happening and they’re trying to act like it isn’t.”
“Well, maybe I’m trying to act like it isn’t,” I shot back, and he waved his hand out in front of him.
“Then continue.”
“Hypothetically, if you know that someone close to someone you’re close with is having trouble with some things in life—”
“I’m already confused,” Graham cut in, and I sighed heavily.
“I’m confusing myself too. Okay, let’s try this again. Let’s say that Knox’s older sister came to you because she was struggling. Like she lost her job, and her boyfriend stole absolutely everything from—”
“She’s g*y.”
“Really? I didn’t know that. Well, fine, her girlfriend. And stop cutting me off! So her girlfriend stole everything from her and then took off. But you know that Knox hates her girlfriend and is always fighting with her. So his sister comes to you because she needs money, and she’s afraid if Knox finds out he’ll give up everything he has to help her or get himself thrown in prison by going after the ex-girlfriend.”
“Knox would never do anything to a girl, and he doesn’t have much to give up.”
“Graham!”
He sent me a teasing smile. “I’m kidding! I was just trying to piss you off. But he really wouldn’t do anything like that to a girl.”
“Anyway! So if all this happened, would you help her and keep it from Knox because you’d think he’d do exactly what she’s afraid of?”
Graham sat up and looked at me for a while like he was trying to figure out whether he should answer honestly, or go back to trying to find out what was really going on with the “hypothetical” situation. Then he exhaled heavily and shrugged. “I have no idea. If that shit actually happened to his sister, I’d tell him because he deserves to know.”
“What if this was kind of a repetitive thing for her? Like she always finds girlfriends that end up stealing from her and leaving her with nothing.”
“Then she’d deserve it because she’s too stupid to realize she deserves better than those type of girls. I wouldn’t give her money. You can feel sorry for a woman if she happens to get involved with an ass**le. If she repeatedly gets involved with them, then it’s her fault.”
All the air slowly left my lungs and I sat there feeling even more confused, guilty, and somewhat defeated.
“Hypothetically . . .” Graham trailed off, the word sounding like a question.
I looked up and nodded, but didn’t say anything.
“Knox loves his sister. We all do. Any one of us would probably go after someone who hurt her, but Knox would be uncontrollable. He was always beating up people who used the fact that she was g*y against her—whether they wanted something out of it, or they were just being ass**les and making fun of her. So hypothetically, if all that shit happened, I would help her out once . . . and, yeah, I’d probably even keep it from Knox. Only because I know how he is when it comes to her. But if she came to me a second time, I would tell Knox in a heartbeat. Not only because she would be practically welcoming the destruction her partners always brought on her, but also because at that point, he would definitely deserve to know what was going on with his sister.”
“Okay,” I said on a breath. “Thank you.”
He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “Grey, who asked you for money?”
“It was a hypothetical situation.”
“Grey.”
“No one asked me, they asked a friend of mine.”
Graham gave me a disbelieving look and ground his teeth. “That’s just as much bullshit as saying it’s hypothetical.”
“Graham, I don’t even have money to give someone. I barely make a dollar over minimum wage at The Brew, and most of it goes toward paying off school loans. It was a friend of mine.”
He sat there for a minute without saying anything, the look on his face showing he was waiting for me to come clean. But I couldn’t do that. With an annoyed grunt, he leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. “I don’t believe you. Just don’t give them money again.”
“Graham . . .”
“Come on, I’ll help you move everything over to Jagger’s. Most of this can fit in my truck.”
My body stilled as my mind raced. It wasn’t exactly a town secret that Jagger’s mom couldn’t keep husbands or boyfriends, but she’d stopped being talked about in the town back when we first went to high school. I wondered if Graham was putting everything together and that’s why he wanted to help me . . . so he could talk to Jagger . . . but my mind and body eased when he turned and saw the look on my face.
My mind instantly went to Jagger’s mom, and the guilt I’d been struggling with ever since I’d seen her came back to twist at my stomach. I’d told Jagger he couldn’t protect me from everything, and I was doing the exact same thing. Well, I was protecting him from one thing . . . one thing that—as the days passed—felt like it was consuming my world and mind.
“Hey, Graham, I have a question.”
His eyes drifted back to me, both eyebrows rising to show he was waiting.
“So, hypothetically—”
“Don’t start anything with that,” he said quickly, cutting me off.
“What?”
“When people start off a question with a hypothetical scenario, that just means it’s actually happening and they’re trying to act like it isn’t.”
“Well, maybe I’m trying to act like it isn’t,” I shot back, and he waved his hand out in front of him.
“Then continue.”
“Hypothetically, if you know that someone close to someone you’re close with is having trouble with some things in life—”
“I’m already confused,” Graham cut in, and I sighed heavily.
“I’m confusing myself too. Okay, let’s try this again. Let’s say that Knox’s older sister came to you because she was struggling. Like she lost her job, and her boyfriend stole absolutely everything from—”
“She’s g*y.”
“Really? I didn’t know that. Well, fine, her girlfriend. And stop cutting me off! So her girlfriend stole everything from her and then took off. But you know that Knox hates her girlfriend and is always fighting with her. So his sister comes to you because she needs money, and she’s afraid if Knox finds out he’ll give up everything he has to help her or get himself thrown in prison by going after the ex-girlfriend.”
“Knox would never do anything to a girl, and he doesn’t have much to give up.”
“Graham!”
He sent me a teasing smile. “I’m kidding! I was just trying to piss you off. But he really wouldn’t do anything like that to a girl.”
“Anyway! So if all this happened, would you help her and keep it from Knox because you’d think he’d do exactly what she’s afraid of?”
Graham sat up and looked at me for a while like he was trying to figure out whether he should answer honestly, or go back to trying to find out what was really going on with the “hypothetical” situation. Then he exhaled heavily and shrugged. “I have no idea. If that shit actually happened to his sister, I’d tell him because he deserves to know.”
“What if this was kind of a repetitive thing for her? Like she always finds girlfriends that end up stealing from her and leaving her with nothing.”
“Then she’d deserve it because she’s too stupid to realize she deserves better than those type of girls. I wouldn’t give her money. You can feel sorry for a woman if she happens to get involved with an ass**le. If she repeatedly gets involved with them, then it’s her fault.”
All the air slowly left my lungs and I sat there feeling even more confused, guilty, and somewhat defeated.
“Hypothetically . . .” Graham trailed off, the word sounding like a question.
I looked up and nodded, but didn’t say anything.
“Knox loves his sister. We all do. Any one of us would probably go after someone who hurt her, but Knox would be uncontrollable. He was always beating up people who used the fact that she was g*y against her—whether they wanted something out of it, or they were just being ass**les and making fun of her. So hypothetically, if all that shit happened, I would help her out once . . . and, yeah, I’d probably even keep it from Knox. Only because I know how he is when it comes to her. But if she came to me a second time, I would tell Knox in a heartbeat. Not only because she would be practically welcoming the destruction her partners always brought on her, but also because at that point, he would definitely deserve to know what was going on with his sister.”
“Okay,” I said on a breath. “Thank you.”
He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “Grey, who asked you for money?”
“It was a hypothetical situation.”
“Grey.”
“No one asked me, they asked a friend of mine.”
Graham gave me a disbelieving look and ground his teeth. “That’s just as much bullshit as saying it’s hypothetical.”
“Graham, I don’t even have money to give someone. I barely make a dollar over minimum wage at The Brew, and most of it goes toward paying off school loans. It was a friend of mine.”
He sat there for a minute without saying anything, the look on his face showing he was waiting for me to come clean. But I couldn’t do that. With an annoyed grunt, he leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. “I don’t believe you. Just don’t give them money again.”
“Graham . . .”
“Come on, I’ll help you move everything over to Jagger’s. Most of this can fit in my truck.”
My body stilled as my mind raced. It wasn’t exactly a town secret that Jagger’s mom couldn’t keep husbands or boyfriends, but she’d stopped being talked about in the town back when we first went to high school. I wondered if Graham was putting everything together and that’s why he wanted to help me . . . so he could talk to Jagger . . . but my mind and body eased when he turned and saw the look on my face.
