Letting Go
Page 71
“What about you? Are you going to be okay?”
Jagger’s lips slowly curved into a smile. “I’m fine, Grey. She can only hurt me if she hurts you, it’s you I’m worried about.”
“Well, I’m okay. I really do think she’ll do anything to avoid jail.”
“You’re probably right.” Releasing his arm from where he had it wrapped around my body, he slowly brushed my hair away from my face, and my eyes fluttered shut when his fingers traced across my cheekbones, down my nose, and across my lips.
The last three days in Seattle with Jagger had been perfect, and exactly what we needed. Friday afternoon he met with the guy who owned the gallery, and I’d gone out to a late lunch with Janie and Heather for a few hours until Jagger practically dragged me back to the hotel and bed.
I hadn’t complained.
Other than that afternoon, answering the door for room service, quick trips to the bathroom, and a shower together, we hadn’t left the bed. We’d ordered a few movies, talked about everything from here on out and what was happening with LeAnn, and spent the rest of the time wrapped up in each other. I couldn’t remember a time in my life when I was happier than I had been in this suite with him, even when Ben had been alive.
I refused to compare my relationship with him to the relationship I had with Ben . . . but I knew that if I did compare the two, I would quickly realize they weren’t comparable. Everything was different with each of them. And now Jagger was my life while Ben was my past.
There was something about Jagger that felt perfect despite everything we’d gone through to get here. There was something about the timing that felt like it couldn’t have been more perfectly planned. And there was something about the way he loved me and I loved him that left me speechless whenever I’d focus on it.
It was easy between us. Ever since I’d let go of the past, nothing with Jagger ever felt rushed or too slow. I knew that at no matter what speed we took the rest of our lives, everything would end up feeling the way it had so far. Perfect.
“What are you thinking about so hard?”
I looked up at his curious green eyes, my eyebrows rising in question when I realized I hadn’t actually heard what he’d said. “What?”
“It was like you weren’t here with me for a few minutes. What were you thinking about?”
“Us,” I said without hesitation.
“Yeah? And what about us were you thinking about?”
“Everything.”
“Really?” he said on a laugh. “Anything I should know?”
Looking directly into his eyes, I embraced the tingling feeling that had started in my stomach and quickly expanded throughout my body. I knew that the words that were on the tip of my tongue were exactly what I wanted to say, and I felt light-headed as I realized how true the words were.
“Babe?”
Jagger’s eyes looked panicked for a few seconds then widened with surprise at my next words.
“I want to marry you.”
He blinked a few times, his lips twitching like he didn’t know if he should smile or not. “What did you just say?”
“I want to marry you.”
Before I could register the way his entire face lit up, his mouth was on mine and he was pushing me back onto the bed so he could hover over me. “When?” he asked through our kisses.
“Whenever. I just know that I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”
He pushed himself up so he was on his hands and knees, and I looked at the way his chest rose and fell with each labored breath. “What brought this up?”
I grasped his shaking forearms, and knew they were shaking for the same reason he was breathing so hard. He was trying to control his excitement, but his bright eyes gave him away. “I’ve loved you my entire life. I’ve been in love with you for . . . I don’t know. Years. Whether I knew it or not. But now that I’ve let go of everything that was keeping me stuck in the past, I’ve realized how much time I wasted with you, and I don’t want to waste any more.”
“I would spend forever with you just as long as you were mine, Grey. Don’t say this because you think it’s what we need to do.”
“I’m not,” I promised. “This is what I want as long as you want it too.”
His signature lopsided smile crossed his face and he kissed me again. “Are you kidding?” he growled against my mouth. “Why wouldn’t I want that? I just want to make sure you’ve thought about what you’re saying.”
Pressing a hand to his chest, I pushed him far enough away that I could look at him fully. “I have thought about it. Jagger, I love you, and I want this. I want you. With our past together, and with how unpredictable life is, I want to start this future with you.”
Moving my hand away, he spread my legs with one of his knees to lie down on top of my body. A deep groan sounded in his chest when I wrapped my legs around him and he slowly pressed into me. His mouth cut off my gasp when he began moving inside me, and I gripped him tighter to me when he backed away to look down at me. “Then let’s start that future, Grey.”
Chapter 16
Jagger
September 19, 2014
I WALKED SLOWLY across the grass until I got to the right stone, then squatted down in front of it. For long minutes no words came as I stared at the engraved letters and numbers and tried to figure out the words to explain the hardest thing I’d ever had to say. Grey was working, and I’d just finished having lunch with her dad and asking him the very thing I was trying to say now, but saying it to Mr. LaRue hadn’t seemed nearly as hard as this.
Jagger’s lips slowly curved into a smile. “I’m fine, Grey. She can only hurt me if she hurts you, it’s you I’m worried about.”
“Well, I’m okay. I really do think she’ll do anything to avoid jail.”
“You’re probably right.” Releasing his arm from where he had it wrapped around my body, he slowly brushed my hair away from my face, and my eyes fluttered shut when his fingers traced across my cheekbones, down my nose, and across my lips.
The last three days in Seattle with Jagger had been perfect, and exactly what we needed. Friday afternoon he met with the guy who owned the gallery, and I’d gone out to a late lunch with Janie and Heather for a few hours until Jagger practically dragged me back to the hotel and bed.
I hadn’t complained.
Other than that afternoon, answering the door for room service, quick trips to the bathroom, and a shower together, we hadn’t left the bed. We’d ordered a few movies, talked about everything from here on out and what was happening with LeAnn, and spent the rest of the time wrapped up in each other. I couldn’t remember a time in my life when I was happier than I had been in this suite with him, even when Ben had been alive.
I refused to compare my relationship with him to the relationship I had with Ben . . . but I knew that if I did compare the two, I would quickly realize they weren’t comparable. Everything was different with each of them. And now Jagger was my life while Ben was my past.
There was something about Jagger that felt perfect despite everything we’d gone through to get here. There was something about the timing that felt like it couldn’t have been more perfectly planned. And there was something about the way he loved me and I loved him that left me speechless whenever I’d focus on it.
It was easy between us. Ever since I’d let go of the past, nothing with Jagger ever felt rushed or too slow. I knew that at no matter what speed we took the rest of our lives, everything would end up feeling the way it had so far. Perfect.
“What are you thinking about so hard?”
I looked up at his curious green eyes, my eyebrows rising in question when I realized I hadn’t actually heard what he’d said. “What?”
“It was like you weren’t here with me for a few minutes. What were you thinking about?”
“Us,” I said without hesitation.
“Yeah? And what about us were you thinking about?”
“Everything.”
“Really?” he said on a laugh. “Anything I should know?”
Looking directly into his eyes, I embraced the tingling feeling that had started in my stomach and quickly expanded throughout my body. I knew that the words that were on the tip of my tongue were exactly what I wanted to say, and I felt light-headed as I realized how true the words were.
“Babe?”
Jagger’s eyes looked panicked for a few seconds then widened with surprise at my next words.
“I want to marry you.”
He blinked a few times, his lips twitching like he didn’t know if he should smile or not. “What did you just say?”
“I want to marry you.”
Before I could register the way his entire face lit up, his mouth was on mine and he was pushing me back onto the bed so he could hover over me. “When?” he asked through our kisses.
“Whenever. I just know that I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”
He pushed himself up so he was on his hands and knees, and I looked at the way his chest rose and fell with each labored breath. “What brought this up?”
I grasped his shaking forearms, and knew they were shaking for the same reason he was breathing so hard. He was trying to control his excitement, but his bright eyes gave him away. “I’ve loved you my entire life. I’ve been in love with you for . . . I don’t know. Years. Whether I knew it or not. But now that I’ve let go of everything that was keeping me stuck in the past, I’ve realized how much time I wasted with you, and I don’t want to waste any more.”
“I would spend forever with you just as long as you were mine, Grey. Don’t say this because you think it’s what we need to do.”
“I’m not,” I promised. “This is what I want as long as you want it too.”
His signature lopsided smile crossed his face and he kissed me again. “Are you kidding?” he growled against my mouth. “Why wouldn’t I want that? I just want to make sure you’ve thought about what you’re saying.”
Pressing a hand to his chest, I pushed him far enough away that I could look at him fully. “I have thought about it. Jagger, I love you, and I want this. I want you. With our past together, and with how unpredictable life is, I want to start this future with you.”
Moving my hand away, he spread my legs with one of his knees to lie down on top of my body. A deep groan sounded in his chest when I wrapped my legs around him and he slowly pressed into me. His mouth cut off my gasp when he began moving inside me, and I gripped him tighter to me when he backed away to look down at me. “Then let’s start that future, Grey.”
Chapter 16
Jagger
September 19, 2014
I WALKED SLOWLY across the grass until I got to the right stone, then squatted down in front of it. For long minutes no words came as I stared at the engraved letters and numbers and tried to figure out the words to explain the hardest thing I’d ever had to say. Grey was working, and I’d just finished having lunch with her dad and asking him the very thing I was trying to say now, but saying it to Mr. LaRue hadn’t seemed nearly as hard as this.
