Letting Go
Page 83
“She doesn’t need anything for Keith, Grey. I buy him everything he needs, I have since I realized the money I was giving her for him wasn’t even going to him.”
“Wait,” she said suddenly, her head jerking back and her eyes pinning me with a stare that was a mix of confusion and doubt. “Why would you give her money and buy things for Keith?”
“Someone had to! He had nothing and Mom wasn’t making an effort to give him what he needed, and I didn’t want Charlie to waste her money on him. Why, if you thought you were helping them and protecting me, wouldn’t you tell me the second time? Or, Christ, the third time at least? How would you feel if I kept something like this from you?”
Grey studied me for a few moments, and I watched as her shoulders sagged in defeat. “There was no sob story the second time she came, she just asked for more money.”
“And you just continued to give it to her?” My voice bounced back at us in the room, and I fisted my hands as I tried to keep it together. Kneeling down beside Grey, I cupped her face in my hands and made her look at me. “Baby, I’m sorry. Right now I’m mad at her, I swear. I hate that you didn’t tell me, but my mom is evil, and I’m the only person to ever have seen that side of her. I hate that she went after you. I hate that she’s been near you. I’m so f**king mad I’m just trying to talk myself out of going to her—”
“You’re not the only one,” she whispered, cutting me off.
“What?”
“I know your mom is evil. I saw it that second and third time. I wasn’t going to give her more money, but like I said, she left me with no choice. She—she had something on you, and was threatening to do something that I knew would kill you if I didn’t pay her, or if I told you.”
Confusion quickly replaced my anger when I realized what she was saying. “What on earth could she possibly have on me?”
Grey lifted a shoulder and shook her head. “When I started walking away from her, she said something along the lines of making sure your kid was going to starve.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I shook my head to clear it—knowing I’d heard her wrong. “What did you just say? What kid?”
Grey just looked up at me with the most pained expression, her eyebrows rising as if to answer me.
“Grey, I don’t understand.”
“Your kid—your son, Jagger.”
Ice flooded my veins and pinned me to the floor. I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing anymore as her words echoed over and over in my mind. It took over a minute before I could say anything. “Excuse me?”
“LeAnn’s son. Your son.” Grey shook her head slowly back and forth before choking out, “Keith is yours, Jag.”
I felt dizzy . . . I felt sick . . . I was so f**king confused. “No he’s not. He can’t . . .” I trailed off.
“Your mom said LeAnn got pregnant, but by the time she tried to tell you, Ben had died and you were always with me. She said LeAnn disappeared for a long time to hide her condition, and after Keith was born, she gave over custody to your mom—she even said to ask Charlie if I didn’t believe her.”
My head swung back to look at Grey, shock covering my face. “You’re telling me Charlie knows? My own f**king sister has known for two years that I have a kid and didn’t say anything? You knew I had a f**king kid, with LeAnn of all people, and didn’t say something to me? I’ve been thinking he was my brother all this time, and you’ve all just kept this from me! Was it some sick joke you were all in on?”
“No, Jagger, please stop yelling at me!”
“Well, Jesus Christ, Grey! How do you expect me to react to what you just told me?”
“I’m sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am, but I just found out—and like I said, I couldn’t tell you! Not only had we just found out that it was LeAnn who was doing all the Ben stuff and breaking into the warehouse, but your mom said what LeAnn had been doing to us was because she’d been trying to get her family back together. And it made sense, Jagger! It. Makes. Sense. And then I found out that your mom wasn’t lying about LeAnn disappearing for that time, and your mom was threatening to disappear with Keith if I told you! Do you see why I couldn’t tell you? It killed me, but I had no choice. I’ve been doing everything I could to find out what happened, and find a way for us to get Keith from your mom once I realized how horrible she really is. That is why I kept it from you, all I wanted to do was help you and help Keith so your mom couldn’t leave with him.”
At some point in her explanation, I’d begun pacing, and didn’t stop for another couple minutes after Grey had stopped talking. I just listened to her cries as I tried to wrap my mind around everything. That my mom had gone after my fiancée. That Grey had kept the fact of the money from me. That she’d kept the truth about Keith from me. The fact that Keith was actually my son, and not my brother.
I stopped pacing, and without turning to look at her, I asked, “How long were you going to continue giving her money? Because you can’t honestly believe that she would’ve just stopped coming to you. Or that she would’ve stopped trying to hold this over both our heads.”
“I was just trying to buy us some time.” Grey sounded like all the life had been drained from her. She sounded exhausted in a way I hadn’t seen since right after Ben died.
“What else are you keeping from me?”
“Wait,” she said suddenly, her head jerking back and her eyes pinning me with a stare that was a mix of confusion and doubt. “Why would you give her money and buy things for Keith?”
“Someone had to! He had nothing and Mom wasn’t making an effort to give him what he needed, and I didn’t want Charlie to waste her money on him. Why, if you thought you were helping them and protecting me, wouldn’t you tell me the second time? Or, Christ, the third time at least? How would you feel if I kept something like this from you?”
Grey studied me for a few moments, and I watched as her shoulders sagged in defeat. “There was no sob story the second time she came, she just asked for more money.”
“And you just continued to give it to her?” My voice bounced back at us in the room, and I fisted my hands as I tried to keep it together. Kneeling down beside Grey, I cupped her face in my hands and made her look at me. “Baby, I’m sorry. Right now I’m mad at her, I swear. I hate that you didn’t tell me, but my mom is evil, and I’m the only person to ever have seen that side of her. I hate that she went after you. I hate that she’s been near you. I’m so f**king mad I’m just trying to talk myself out of going to her—”
“You’re not the only one,” she whispered, cutting me off.
“What?”
“I know your mom is evil. I saw it that second and third time. I wasn’t going to give her more money, but like I said, she left me with no choice. She—she had something on you, and was threatening to do something that I knew would kill you if I didn’t pay her, or if I told you.”
Confusion quickly replaced my anger when I realized what she was saying. “What on earth could she possibly have on me?”
Grey lifted a shoulder and shook her head. “When I started walking away from her, she said something along the lines of making sure your kid was going to starve.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I shook my head to clear it—knowing I’d heard her wrong. “What did you just say? What kid?”
Grey just looked up at me with the most pained expression, her eyebrows rising as if to answer me.
“Grey, I don’t understand.”
“Your kid—your son, Jagger.”
Ice flooded my veins and pinned me to the floor. I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing anymore as her words echoed over and over in my mind. It took over a minute before I could say anything. “Excuse me?”
“LeAnn’s son. Your son.” Grey shook her head slowly back and forth before choking out, “Keith is yours, Jag.”
I felt dizzy . . . I felt sick . . . I was so f**king confused. “No he’s not. He can’t . . .” I trailed off.
“Your mom said LeAnn got pregnant, but by the time she tried to tell you, Ben had died and you were always with me. She said LeAnn disappeared for a long time to hide her condition, and after Keith was born, she gave over custody to your mom—she even said to ask Charlie if I didn’t believe her.”
My head swung back to look at Grey, shock covering my face. “You’re telling me Charlie knows? My own f**king sister has known for two years that I have a kid and didn’t say anything? You knew I had a f**king kid, with LeAnn of all people, and didn’t say something to me? I’ve been thinking he was my brother all this time, and you’ve all just kept this from me! Was it some sick joke you were all in on?”
“No, Jagger, please stop yelling at me!”
“Well, Jesus Christ, Grey! How do you expect me to react to what you just told me?”
“I’m sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am, but I just found out—and like I said, I couldn’t tell you! Not only had we just found out that it was LeAnn who was doing all the Ben stuff and breaking into the warehouse, but your mom said what LeAnn had been doing to us was because she’d been trying to get her family back together. And it made sense, Jagger! It. Makes. Sense. And then I found out that your mom wasn’t lying about LeAnn disappearing for that time, and your mom was threatening to disappear with Keith if I told you! Do you see why I couldn’t tell you? It killed me, but I had no choice. I’ve been doing everything I could to find out what happened, and find a way for us to get Keith from your mom once I realized how horrible she really is. That is why I kept it from you, all I wanted to do was help you and help Keith so your mom couldn’t leave with him.”
At some point in her explanation, I’d begun pacing, and didn’t stop for another couple minutes after Grey had stopped talking. I just listened to her cries as I tried to wrap my mind around everything. That my mom had gone after my fiancée. That Grey had kept the fact of the money from me. That she’d kept the truth about Keith from me. The fact that Keith was actually my son, and not my brother.
I stopped pacing, and without turning to look at her, I asked, “How long were you going to continue giving her money? Because you can’t honestly believe that she would’ve just stopped coming to you. Or that she would’ve stopped trying to hold this over both our heads.”
“I was just trying to buy us some time.” Grey sounded like all the life had been drained from her. She sounded exhausted in a way I hadn’t seen since right after Ben died.
“What else are you keeping from me?”
