Light in the Shadows
Page 25
“What is it, Jake? Seriously I’ve got to get going,” I said sharply. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I didn’t have time for his nervous rambling.
Jake sighed heavily. “Damn, Maggie, you really know how to cut a guy’s balls off.” He laughed uncomfortably. I chuckled but started to tap my foot, letting him know his time was running short.
“Okay, shit, I guess I’ll just spit it out. You wanna go out this weekend?” Jake asked in a rush. His question was like a punch to the gut. Crap! Crap, crap! I should have seen this coming. I had taken his patient understanding for granted it seemed. I knew he liked me, I had just really hoped I wouldn’t be put in the position to have to turn him down. I liked Jake. A lot. I just wasn’t prepared to like him as anything more than a friend.
Jake instantly took my silence as a rejection and the look of hurt on his face made me feel horrible. “It’s okay, Maggie. I get it. I just wish…never mind.” He ran his hand over his short red hair.
“You just wish what, Jake?” I asked, trying not to be irritated with him for putting us both in the awkward situation we found ourselves in. But I was mostly irritated with myself. Maybe I had been leading him on. Being too flirty. Yeah, this was probably my fault. Crap, crap, crap!
“You need to get over that guy, Maggie. It’s been months. He’s not coming back. But you’re acting like he’s the only one out there. I mean, even if you don’t want to date me, you shouldn’t rule out every other guy who isn’t Clay Fucking Reed!” Jake said in frustration and I clenched my teeth. Okay, so now he was pissing me off.
“Wow, thanks for your support. Glad to know what you really think of me. Sorry if I’m not moving on at a pace that is agreeable to you. Look, I’ve got to go. I don’t have time for this.” I started to turn away but Jake grabbed my arm, stopping me.
I snatched my arm back and glared at him. Jake grimaced and dropped his hand. “Damn it Maggie, I’m not trying to be a dick here. I just want to see you happy. It’s time to let yourself. Fuck it, never mind. Forget I said anything. See you around.” Jake hefted his gym bag up onto his shoulder and started toward the school.
I don’t know what made me do it but I yelled out, “Fine Jake! I’ll go out with you.” What was I saying? I felt possessed by the impulse to prove him wrong. To show him and everyone else that I wasn’t going to spend my life moping over a boy who had thrown me away. It was humiliating and I was sick and tired of being the pathetic girl who had been dumped by her crazy boyfriend.
Jake shook his head. “Forget it, Maggie. I don’t want you going because you feel bad for me or something. I just thought we could go out and have a good time, that’s all.” I closed the distance between us and put my hand on his arm.
“No, really Jake, I’d like to go. You’re right. I’m done with the sad girl act. But you’d better plan something good,” I warned good-naturedly, smiling. Jake smiled back at me.
“You got it, Mags.” And then he leaned down and kissed my cheek, his lips lingering on my skin. I flushed and backed away, not sure how I felt about all of this. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?” Jake called out as I headed back to the track.
I only nodded and waved goodbye. I couldn’t let myself think about what I had just agreed to and what that meant for me. I threw myself into track practice. I was running the 1600 and 3200 meter this year. After flaking out so much during cross country this year, I was determined to show Coach Kline that I really did kick ass.
So I ran. Not fast, but I ran far. I was pleased at how my endurance had increased and I found that I was able to run the 3200 meter in a record eleven minutes. That was incredible! I had beaten my best time by a minute. I felt good and the closest to happy I had been in a while.
Coach Kline was pleased and made sure to heap praise my way before I left. As I walked out to my car, I saw Daniel and Jake headed to Danny’s truck. “Mags!” Daniel called out, waiting for me to catch up.
I smiled at him and then gave Jake a shy grin. I felt a little strange around him, now that he had asked me out and I had agreed. But he simply tugged on my pony tail and grinned as though nothing had changed between us.
“We’re headed to Bubbles, you wanna come?” Daniel asked. I tensed up at the suggestion. I hadn’t been to Bubbles since…
You know what? Fuck this. “Yeah. I could use a banana split,” I said almost defiantly. Though who I was defying I wasn’t entirely sure. Was I defying Clay? Myself? The memory of the hundreds of banana splits I had shared with my ex-boyfriend? God, how ridiculous was that?
So I followed them to the restaurant and I ordered the banana split with extra whipped cream. And I ate every last bite. “Jeesh girl, you were hungry,” Jake teased as I scooped up the last bit of ice cream and put it in my mouth.
I felt faintly nauseous with the amount of food I had just consumed. I had never finished one of Bubble’s banana splits by myself before. But damned if I hadn’t made it my mission to eat that entire one. It was like I was proving something to myself. Like if I could do this, I could really start to move on with my life.
Though I think all I got out of it was the need to puke all over the table.
Daniel only shook his head as I dropped the spoon into the bowl with a loud clang. I met his eyes and dared him to say anything about my gross display of overeating. But he just smirked and finished his hamburger.
Jake sighed heavily. “Damn, Maggie, you really know how to cut a guy’s balls off.” He laughed uncomfortably. I chuckled but started to tap my foot, letting him know his time was running short.
“Okay, shit, I guess I’ll just spit it out. You wanna go out this weekend?” Jake asked in a rush. His question was like a punch to the gut. Crap! Crap, crap! I should have seen this coming. I had taken his patient understanding for granted it seemed. I knew he liked me, I had just really hoped I wouldn’t be put in the position to have to turn him down. I liked Jake. A lot. I just wasn’t prepared to like him as anything more than a friend.
Jake instantly took my silence as a rejection and the look of hurt on his face made me feel horrible. “It’s okay, Maggie. I get it. I just wish…never mind.” He ran his hand over his short red hair.
“You just wish what, Jake?” I asked, trying not to be irritated with him for putting us both in the awkward situation we found ourselves in. But I was mostly irritated with myself. Maybe I had been leading him on. Being too flirty. Yeah, this was probably my fault. Crap, crap, crap!
“You need to get over that guy, Maggie. It’s been months. He’s not coming back. But you’re acting like he’s the only one out there. I mean, even if you don’t want to date me, you shouldn’t rule out every other guy who isn’t Clay Fucking Reed!” Jake said in frustration and I clenched my teeth. Okay, so now he was pissing me off.
“Wow, thanks for your support. Glad to know what you really think of me. Sorry if I’m not moving on at a pace that is agreeable to you. Look, I’ve got to go. I don’t have time for this.” I started to turn away but Jake grabbed my arm, stopping me.
I snatched my arm back and glared at him. Jake grimaced and dropped his hand. “Damn it Maggie, I’m not trying to be a dick here. I just want to see you happy. It’s time to let yourself. Fuck it, never mind. Forget I said anything. See you around.” Jake hefted his gym bag up onto his shoulder and started toward the school.
I don’t know what made me do it but I yelled out, “Fine Jake! I’ll go out with you.” What was I saying? I felt possessed by the impulse to prove him wrong. To show him and everyone else that I wasn’t going to spend my life moping over a boy who had thrown me away. It was humiliating and I was sick and tired of being the pathetic girl who had been dumped by her crazy boyfriend.
Jake shook his head. “Forget it, Maggie. I don’t want you going because you feel bad for me or something. I just thought we could go out and have a good time, that’s all.” I closed the distance between us and put my hand on his arm.
“No, really Jake, I’d like to go. You’re right. I’m done with the sad girl act. But you’d better plan something good,” I warned good-naturedly, smiling. Jake smiled back at me.
“You got it, Mags.” And then he leaned down and kissed my cheek, his lips lingering on my skin. I flushed and backed away, not sure how I felt about all of this. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?” Jake called out as I headed back to the track.
I only nodded and waved goodbye. I couldn’t let myself think about what I had just agreed to and what that meant for me. I threw myself into track practice. I was running the 1600 and 3200 meter this year. After flaking out so much during cross country this year, I was determined to show Coach Kline that I really did kick ass.
So I ran. Not fast, but I ran far. I was pleased at how my endurance had increased and I found that I was able to run the 3200 meter in a record eleven minutes. That was incredible! I had beaten my best time by a minute. I felt good and the closest to happy I had been in a while.
Coach Kline was pleased and made sure to heap praise my way before I left. As I walked out to my car, I saw Daniel and Jake headed to Danny’s truck. “Mags!” Daniel called out, waiting for me to catch up.
I smiled at him and then gave Jake a shy grin. I felt a little strange around him, now that he had asked me out and I had agreed. But he simply tugged on my pony tail and grinned as though nothing had changed between us.
“We’re headed to Bubbles, you wanna come?” Daniel asked. I tensed up at the suggestion. I hadn’t been to Bubbles since…
You know what? Fuck this. “Yeah. I could use a banana split,” I said almost defiantly. Though who I was defying I wasn’t entirely sure. Was I defying Clay? Myself? The memory of the hundreds of banana splits I had shared with my ex-boyfriend? God, how ridiculous was that?
So I followed them to the restaurant and I ordered the banana split with extra whipped cream. And I ate every last bite. “Jeesh girl, you were hungry,” Jake teased as I scooped up the last bit of ice cream and put it in my mouth.
I felt faintly nauseous with the amount of food I had just consumed. I had never finished one of Bubble’s banana splits by myself before. But damned if I hadn’t made it my mission to eat that entire one. It was like I was proving something to myself. Like if I could do this, I could really start to move on with my life.
Though I think all I got out of it was the need to puke all over the table.
Daniel only shook his head as I dropped the spoon into the bowl with a loud clang. I met his eyes and dared him to say anything about my gross display of overeating. But he just smirked and finished his hamburger.
