Light in the Shadows
Page 62
“I used to get those. Panic attacks, I mean. After my parents split up and my mom moved me in with her and her f**k-wad of a boyfriend. They can be pretty intense.” I shot Daniel a look from the corner of my eye. Was he being for real right now? Sharing personal stories and all that kumbaya crap?
“Yeah, they can be,” I admitted, still reluctant to share anything with the guy who had never bothered to hide the fact that he didn’t trust me or even particularly like me. Daniel reached down and picked up the bag that I had thrown on the floor.
He handed it to me and I took it, slinging it over my shoulder. I jammed my hands into my pockets and met Daniel’s stare head on. No sense in being a pu**y about it.
“Thanks,” I said begrudgingly. Maybe I shouldn’t be such a dick to the guy who had just helped me out. But the last thing I wanted was to acknowledge what had happened to Maggie’s best friend and the leader of the anti-Clay club. Because I know if there was one, this dude would be the president.
Daniel ran his hand over his head and darted his eyes around the restroom. “Look, man. I know I haven’t been the most…uh…supportive of you and Maggie. And I’m still not sure how I feel seeing the two of you all up in each other’s asses again. But, I know you’re a decent guy. So for now, I’m reserving judgment.”
I snorted. “Wow, that’s really big of you,” I said sarcastically. Daniel smiled sheepishly.
“Okay, so that sounded way assier than I meant it to. What I’m trying to say, is I know you’re dealing with shit. A lot of shit by the looks of it. And for Maggie’s sake…well…and yours too, I won’t be the speed bump on your road to the candy castle or whatever.”
His metaphors were confusing the hell out of me but I guess I got what he was trying to say. “I don’t know about any candy castle. Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. But I appreciate where you’re trying to go with that.” My lips quirked in a grin and Daniel took my cue and laughed. The tension that had been building popped like a bubble.
We left the bathroom and walked down the quiet hallway. We were already twenty minutes late for class. Shit. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what the hell brought all that on back there?” Daniel asked and I clamped down immediately. It was an age old response to people digging into my crap.
“Yeah, no offense, but I’m really not into talking about it with people.” I probably sounded harsher than I meant to. But I was not trying to hash out my crazy psyche for Daniel to analyze. My insurance paid a professional to do that twice a week.
“I get it. Sorry for sticking my nose in. Just, you know…if you ever want to talk about stuff. I mean, I’m here if you want. And I don’t mean for that to sound as douchy as it came out. I swear to god, I did not just grow a vagina.” I barked out a laugh and Daniel grinned.
“Glad to hear it, otherwise Rachel’s in for one hell of a surprise,” I joked. Wow. It was like I had entered a parallel universe. I was joking around with Daniel of all people. Almost like we were friends. I hadn’t had many of those over the years. At least not ones that I wasn’t forced into spending time with out of service plan necessity.
“Alright, well I’ve got to get to class. Mrs. Bowan is going to castrate me for being late again. I’ll catch you later,” Daniel said, heading up the stairs.
“Hey, Daniel,” I called out before he disappeared. Daniel turned around.
“I just want you to know that all that shit, well I’m working on it.” I just really needed him to know that I was going to do my damnedest to make this right for Maggie. That I wasn’t the selfish jackass I was three months ago. That I was going to do what I needed to do for the girl we both loved.
Daniel gave me a curt nod. “Glad to hear it. Check you later.” And with that, he disappeared up the stairs.
***
Therapy went well. After my mini-meltdown in the bathroom at school, I was in a surprisingly good place. I talked to Shaemus about Maggie. And unlike with Dr. Todd, he didn’t immediately launch into all of the reasons it wasn’t a good idea. Though he did remind me that it perhaps wasn’t a good idea to put so much energy into a relationship while I was working on getting myself in order.
He then suggested I bring Maggie in for a session or two. This blew my mind. Why in the hell would I bring Maggie to therapy? But when Shaemus explained that it could be a way for both of us to break the patterns we had developed in our relationship and learn better ways to communicate, I couldn’t deny that it sounded really good.
But how to broach the subject with Maggie? Hey, you wanna go hang out at my shrink’s office for some super intense couple’s therapy? Now there was a date to remember.
After leaving Shaemus’ office, I headed home to change for my shift at Bubbles. Ruby’s car was parked by the house, but when I went inside, it was quiet. Not wanting to disturb her, I hurried to change then headed to work.
Checking my phone after I pulled into the parking lot I saw that I had a text from Maggie.
Just finished practice. Thinking of you. Call me when your shift is over. We have some date planning to do.
My phone rang in my hand and I frowned at the unfamiliar number that flashed across the screen. “Hello?” I said, answering it.
“Clay?” a female voice said on the other end.
“Maria?” I asked and heard her familiar giggle through the line.
“Yep, it’s me! How are you? I miss you so much!” Her voice was high pitched as though she were nervous. I instantly felt guilty for not contacting her or my other friends from the center since I had been back in Virginia. The truth was I hadn’t much thought about them. And that made me a really crappy friend.
“Yeah, they can be,” I admitted, still reluctant to share anything with the guy who had never bothered to hide the fact that he didn’t trust me or even particularly like me. Daniel reached down and picked up the bag that I had thrown on the floor.
He handed it to me and I took it, slinging it over my shoulder. I jammed my hands into my pockets and met Daniel’s stare head on. No sense in being a pu**y about it.
“Thanks,” I said begrudgingly. Maybe I shouldn’t be such a dick to the guy who had just helped me out. But the last thing I wanted was to acknowledge what had happened to Maggie’s best friend and the leader of the anti-Clay club. Because I know if there was one, this dude would be the president.
Daniel ran his hand over his head and darted his eyes around the restroom. “Look, man. I know I haven’t been the most…uh…supportive of you and Maggie. And I’m still not sure how I feel seeing the two of you all up in each other’s asses again. But, I know you’re a decent guy. So for now, I’m reserving judgment.”
I snorted. “Wow, that’s really big of you,” I said sarcastically. Daniel smiled sheepishly.
“Okay, so that sounded way assier than I meant it to. What I’m trying to say, is I know you’re dealing with shit. A lot of shit by the looks of it. And for Maggie’s sake…well…and yours too, I won’t be the speed bump on your road to the candy castle or whatever.”
His metaphors were confusing the hell out of me but I guess I got what he was trying to say. “I don’t know about any candy castle. Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. But I appreciate where you’re trying to go with that.” My lips quirked in a grin and Daniel took my cue and laughed. The tension that had been building popped like a bubble.
We left the bathroom and walked down the quiet hallway. We were already twenty minutes late for class. Shit. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what the hell brought all that on back there?” Daniel asked and I clamped down immediately. It was an age old response to people digging into my crap.
“Yeah, no offense, but I’m really not into talking about it with people.” I probably sounded harsher than I meant to. But I was not trying to hash out my crazy psyche for Daniel to analyze. My insurance paid a professional to do that twice a week.
“I get it. Sorry for sticking my nose in. Just, you know…if you ever want to talk about stuff. I mean, I’m here if you want. And I don’t mean for that to sound as douchy as it came out. I swear to god, I did not just grow a vagina.” I barked out a laugh and Daniel grinned.
“Glad to hear it, otherwise Rachel’s in for one hell of a surprise,” I joked. Wow. It was like I had entered a parallel universe. I was joking around with Daniel of all people. Almost like we were friends. I hadn’t had many of those over the years. At least not ones that I wasn’t forced into spending time with out of service plan necessity.
“Alright, well I’ve got to get to class. Mrs. Bowan is going to castrate me for being late again. I’ll catch you later,” Daniel said, heading up the stairs.
“Hey, Daniel,” I called out before he disappeared. Daniel turned around.
“I just want you to know that all that shit, well I’m working on it.” I just really needed him to know that I was going to do my damnedest to make this right for Maggie. That I wasn’t the selfish jackass I was three months ago. That I was going to do what I needed to do for the girl we both loved.
Daniel gave me a curt nod. “Glad to hear it. Check you later.” And with that, he disappeared up the stairs.
***
Therapy went well. After my mini-meltdown in the bathroom at school, I was in a surprisingly good place. I talked to Shaemus about Maggie. And unlike with Dr. Todd, he didn’t immediately launch into all of the reasons it wasn’t a good idea. Though he did remind me that it perhaps wasn’t a good idea to put so much energy into a relationship while I was working on getting myself in order.
He then suggested I bring Maggie in for a session or two. This blew my mind. Why in the hell would I bring Maggie to therapy? But when Shaemus explained that it could be a way for both of us to break the patterns we had developed in our relationship and learn better ways to communicate, I couldn’t deny that it sounded really good.
But how to broach the subject with Maggie? Hey, you wanna go hang out at my shrink’s office for some super intense couple’s therapy? Now there was a date to remember.
After leaving Shaemus’ office, I headed home to change for my shift at Bubbles. Ruby’s car was parked by the house, but when I went inside, it was quiet. Not wanting to disturb her, I hurried to change then headed to work.
Checking my phone after I pulled into the parking lot I saw that I had a text from Maggie.
Just finished practice. Thinking of you. Call me when your shift is over. We have some date planning to do.
My phone rang in my hand and I frowned at the unfamiliar number that flashed across the screen. “Hello?” I said, answering it.
“Clay?” a female voice said on the other end.
“Maria?” I asked and heard her familiar giggle through the line.
“Yep, it’s me! How are you? I miss you so much!” Her voice was high pitched as though she were nervous. I instantly felt guilty for not contacting her or my other friends from the center since I had been back in Virginia. The truth was I hadn’t much thought about them. And that made me a really crappy friend.
