Light in the Shadows
Page 80
“Clay!” she squealed after I had opened the door. Yeah, I noticed that she rubbed her tits against my chest as she squeezed me. And I wasn’t blind to the fact that she stared a little too long at my mouth as I greeted her. I didn’t know who the f**k this girl was, but she was not my friend. She looked and sounded a lot like the girl Maria had been trying to get rid of. The one that f**ked any guy that would give her an ounce of attention. The girl who used sex the same way I had used drugs and cutting.
“Hey, Maria,” I said less enthusiastically, letting her into the house. Ruby wasn’t home, she was at the store, having thrown herself back into keeping the shop in order. I was glad she was getting herself out of the house, but right now I would have given anything for the Ruby buffer.
Maria tugged in an overnight bag that looked as though she had packed for a damn week. “Here let me get that,” I offered, picking it up. Jesus Christ, did she think she was moving in?
“What the hell do you have in here? Bowling balls?” I grunted, bringing it into the living room. Maria giggled, making my skin crawl a bit.
“No, silly. A girl just needs plenty of clothing options. And shoes aren’t light,” she teased. I rolled my eyes.
“Shoes. Sure,” I said, trying not to be annoyed by the already shitty beginning to this visit. I was instantly on guard around Maria and I had never felt that way. Not even when it was apparent she had feelings for me. She had always been unassuming, shy even. Nothing like the Maria who stood in the middle of my living room, with her cle**age on full display and a hand on her hip giving f**k me eyes.
“How was the drive?” I asked, trying to find a way into comfortable territory. Asinine small talk seemed the way to go. Maria pulled a tube of lip gloss from her purse and started to liberally apply it, rubbing it in with her finger.
“Fine. Hit some traffic on the beltway, but that was to be expected on a Friday,” she said, shrugging, the action causing her shirt to fall dangerously low on her shoulder. Crap, I could see the top of her boobs. This was not cool. Maggie was going to be pissed when she got a load of Maria. I knew she was feeling insecure about my friendship with Maria. She had never come right out and admitted it, but I knew my girlfriend well enough to recognize the signs of her self-esteem taking a nose dive. I hadn’t been sure how to handle that, because Maggie’s feelings were completely unfounded.
So seeing Maria dressed like this, making it obvious that this visit was more about seeing the inside of my bedroom than hanging out, would not go over well. And Maggie was supposed to be here at any minute.
I looked away and gestured with my head toward the kitchen. “Want something to drink?” I asked. Maria grinned and nodded.
“Sure, I am pretty thirsty,” she purred, the innuendo obvious. Just get through the next twenty four hours without having to break up a chick fight, I thought to myself. Because if Maggie didn’t go ballistic on this overly sexualized Maria, then Rachel would definitely have something to say.
I needed a serious reminder as to why I thought hanging out with Maria, Maggie, Rachel and Daniel would be a good idea. Oh that’s right, because I wasn’t expecting Maria “sex fiend” Cruz to arrive on my doorstep like she was deep throating my c**k in her head.
“Water okay?” I asked, flipping on the light as we entered the kitchen.
“Sounds perfect,” Maria answered, making herself at home at the kitchen table. “So, things seem good for you since you’ve gotten out,” she said, taking the glass I handed her.
“You make it sound like I busted out of prison,” I commented, sitting down across from her at the table, though making sure to keep a healthy distance. One that would make any sort of touching impossible. I knew Maria to be touchy feely anyway, and I didn’t know what to expect with her acting like this.
Maria laughed. “Well, it kind of was like prison, don’t you think?” she said, taking a sip of water.
“Not really. There are days I wish I could go back, actually,” I found myself admitting. Despite how weird Maria was being, there was something reassuring about talking to someone who had been in the trenches with me. That maybe she, of all people, would understand how hard it is to be out of treatment.
Or maybe not.
“That’s just crazy, Clay! I would never go back there. Not in a million years!” she said emphatically and I looked at her in surprise. I had no idea she had hated it there so badly. I had always gotten the impression that she felt the same way I did about treatment. That it was a necessary evil. Not one that we would have originally chosen for ourselves, but an essential one.
“Really? You don’t find it hard being on the outside? Trying to get through the day?” I asked.
Maria looked at me levelly. “No, Clay. I much prefer the person I am off the medication.”
Well, shit. She wasn’t medicated anymore. That explained a lot. Maria had been on heavy duty anti-depressants. I was more than a little shocked that she had stopped taking them. But then didn’t I have moments myself where I thought about chucking mine into the toilet? Maria reminded me of how easy it was to forget why you took them in the first place.
But one thing was for sure, Maria was officially a ticking time bomb and not one that I particularly wanted around Maggie and her friends. But I was stuck now. I just had to temper the situation as much as possible.
“How long have you been off your meds, Maria?” I asked softly. She tapped her hand on the table in agitation, clearly not liking my question.
“Hey, Maria,” I said less enthusiastically, letting her into the house. Ruby wasn’t home, she was at the store, having thrown herself back into keeping the shop in order. I was glad she was getting herself out of the house, but right now I would have given anything for the Ruby buffer.
Maria tugged in an overnight bag that looked as though she had packed for a damn week. “Here let me get that,” I offered, picking it up. Jesus Christ, did she think she was moving in?
“What the hell do you have in here? Bowling balls?” I grunted, bringing it into the living room. Maria giggled, making my skin crawl a bit.
“No, silly. A girl just needs plenty of clothing options. And shoes aren’t light,” she teased. I rolled my eyes.
“Shoes. Sure,” I said, trying not to be annoyed by the already shitty beginning to this visit. I was instantly on guard around Maria and I had never felt that way. Not even when it was apparent she had feelings for me. She had always been unassuming, shy even. Nothing like the Maria who stood in the middle of my living room, with her cle**age on full display and a hand on her hip giving f**k me eyes.
“How was the drive?” I asked, trying to find a way into comfortable territory. Asinine small talk seemed the way to go. Maria pulled a tube of lip gloss from her purse and started to liberally apply it, rubbing it in with her finger.
“Fine. Hit some traffic on the beltway, but that was to be expected on a Friday,” she said, shrugging, the action causing her shirt to fall dangerously low on her shoulder. Crap, I could see the top of her boobs. This was not cool. Maggie was going to be pissed when she got a load of Maria. I knew she was feeling insecure about my friendship with Maria. She had never come right out and admitted it, but I knew my girlfriend well enough to recognize the signs of her self-esteem taking a nose dive. I hadn’t been sure how to handle that, because Maggie’s feelings were completely unfounded.
So seeing Maria dressed like this, making it obvious that this visit was more about seeing the inside of my bedroom than hanging out, would not go over well. And Maggie was supposed to be here at any minute.
I looked away and gestured with my head toward the kitchen. “Want something to drink?” I asked. Maria grinned and nodded.
“Sure, I am pretty thirsty,” she purred, the innuendo obvious. Just get through the next twenty four hours without having to break up a chick fight, I thought to myself. Because if Maggie didn’t go ballistic on this overly sexualized Maria, then Rachel would definitely have something to say.
I needed a serious reminder as to why I thought hanging out with Maria, Maggie, Rachel and Daniel would be a good idea. Oh that’s right, because I wasn’t expecting Maria “sex fiend” Cruz to arrive on my doorstep like she was deep throating my c**k in her head.
“Water okay?” I asked, flipping on the light as we entered the kitchen.
“Sounds perfect,” Maria answered, making herself at home at the kitchen table. “So, things seem good for you since you’ve gotten out,” she said, taking the glass I handed her.
“You make it sound like I busted out of prison,” I commented, sitting down across from her at the table, though making sure to keep a healthy distance. One that would make any sort of touching impossible. I knew Maria to be touchy feely anyway, and I didn’t know what to expect with her acting like this.
Maria laughed. “Well, it kind of was like prison, don’t you think?” she said, taking a sip of water.
“Not really. There are days I wish I could go back, actually,” I found myself admitting. Despite how weird Maria was being, there was something reassuring about talking to someone who had been in the trenches with me. That maybe she, of all people, would understand how hard it is to be out of treatment.
Or maybe not.
“That’s just crazy, Clay! I would never go back there. Not in a million years!” she said emphatically and I looked at her in surprise. I had no idea she had hated it there so badly. I had always gotten the impression that she felt the same way I did about treatment. That it was a necessary evil. Not one that we would have originally chosen for ourselves, but an essential one.
“Really? You don’t find it hard being on the outside? Trying to get through the day?” I asked.
Maria looked at me levelly. “No, Clay. I much prefer the person I am off the medication.”
Well, shit. She wasn’t medicated anymore. That explained a lot. Maria had been on heavy duty anti-depressants. I was more than a little shocked that she had stopped taking them. But then didn’t I have moments myself where I thought about chucking mine into the toilet? Maria reminded me of how easy it was to forget why you took them in the first place.
But one thing was for sure, Maria was officially a ticking time bomb and not one that I particularly wanted around Maggie and her friends. But I was stuck now. I just had to temper the situation as much as possible.
“How long have you been off your meds, Maria?” I asked softly. She tapped her hand on the table in agitation, clearly not liking my question.
