Like a Memory
Page 21
My heart cracked a little more and weakened. I’d asked for this by inviting them. It was time I accepted it and learned to live with it.
Nate Finlay
IT HAD BEEN quiet last night on the way back to Octavia’s house. When we walked inside she went to her room and closed the door. No words. Nothing.
There was no question as to what was wrong. I knew. It would take a complete idiot not to know what was up her ass. Hell, I knew this was going to be an issue while I was doing it. But fuck me if I hadn’t been able to stop myself.
Bliss was hard not to watch. I tried. God, I so fucking tried. I did everything I could to keep from looking at her last night. But I was a man and Bliss . . . well Bliss was Bliss. She was hard to ignore. For me she was damn near impossible to ignore.
Finally, I had just given in and watched her. Let my eyes follow her every move. Knowing all along Octavia would notice and a fight would follow. Not because she was a jealous person. She wasn’t. She didn’t have time to focus on anyone other than herself. Very little room for jealousy.
No, Octavia was pissed because my looking at Bliss had been a slap in the face to her. Others saw it. Knew she wasn’t my center of attention and that she couldn’t deal with. I was fairly certain she was just going to take this out on me. Not Bliss.
However, I wasn’t about to test that theory. When I woke up to find Octavia’s bedroom already empty I hurried my ass up and got to her store. Bliss wouldn’t be there for another hour so I had time to fix this shit if she in fact was going to let Bliss go because of me.
Walking into the office that Octavia had me set up for her in the back I could smell the expensive French perfume she loved to wear. It was appealing. One of the first things that got my attention when we met. I liked things to smell good and Octavia always smelled amazing. Money could do that for you.
She shot an annoyed glare my way before going back to whatever she was doing on her computer. “You’re a bastard,” she said with a hiss in her voice.
“I’m sorry.”
I learned from my father that apologizing to a woman was easier than arguing with one. Sometimes this worked and sometimes it didn’t. I was hoping this was one of those times that it worked. The frown in her brow however told me I was fucked. This wasn’t going to be that easy.
“In front of all those people. Never, Nate Finlay, never have you humiliated me that way. If you had, we wouldn’t be engaged and living together right now. I’d be done with you.”
This was dramatic. Not her usual response to things.
“I was trying to figure her out. You’re planning on leaving her here alone to run the place in a little over a month.”
Octavia shot her heated gaze up from the screen and leveled me with it. “Don’t fucking patronize me. She’s beautiful and has that innocent farm girl thing. You couldn’t take your eyes off her. It was obvious to everyone. Including her and she’s as naïve as a female her age can be. Don’t act like you did that for me.”
Okay so maybe I should have gone with a different angle. But damn I didn’t have one. Not really. I wanted to look at her last night and I had given up trying to pretend I wasn’t drawn to her. Fascinated with her. Fuck it to hell. This was not the shit I wanted to deal with. This was not easy. I wanted easy.
“No woman her age that looks like that can be that naïve. I didn’t trust it. I studied how her friends treated her and how she handled herself. You thinking she’s trustworthy because she’s some farm girl from Alabama is fucking naïve if you ask me.”
Had I even sounded believable just now?
Octavia frowned. Like she was thinking about what I’d said as if it made sense. Surely she saw through my bullshit.
“You think I’m being too trustworthy?”
No. Not one damn bit. Bliss was as trustworthy as Octavia was ever going to get in an employee but this seemed to be working so I went with it. Anything to get Octavia over her snit and save Bliss’s job.
“I did. Yes. But you’re right. The girl is everything she appears. A bit immature for her age but she’s middle class and needs a job. She seems willing to prove herself and the people close to her really like her. They trust her. And she didn’t once meet my gaze last night. She didn’t try to flirt or even give me a smile.”
Octavia nodded slowly. “I noticed that. She had to see you watching her but she didn’t take advantage of it. She ignored you completely. I respect that. We need to tell her though the truth. That you had been measuring her up. Testing her. She doesn’t need to think you have any interest in her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t need to think she could fit into your world and mess up the best opportunity she’s going to get in this town. God knows women can be stupid when it comes to you.”
Most of what she had just said pissed me off.
Scratch that.
All of what she had just said pissed me off. I hated the elitist way Octavia’s mind worked. It was the one thing I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to live with the rest of my life. Or any part of my life. Bliss wasn’t less than us because she had grown up differently. My own mother grew up very similar to Bliss and she was one of the smartest women I knew. That meant nothing.
There were some fucking idiots that had grown up at the country club with me. Money didn’t make you important. It wasn’t a one way ticket into the world of the elite. Especially for people like me and Octavia. We weren’t rich. Our parents were. We were trust fund kids. Not exactly impressive.
But Bliss’s job was at stake and I knew I had to play the role. Keep my thoughts to myself. Pretend I agreed. I could question this all later. When I wasn’t standing here in front of a woman that was watching my every expression.
“Bliss isn’t like us. You’re right. She’s a farm girl from Alabama with an inferior education and very little sense of the real world. She lives in a bubble here in Sea Breeze. One she won’t ever get out of or hope to break free from. But that makes her safe. She’s a good employee and one we now know you can trust.”
Just saying all of that bullshit made me hate myself. It wasn’t true. Bliss had beat a disease that took lives daily. If she wanted out of this damn town she’d get out. She’d create herself. She would achieve any goal she set for herself. She would fight until she had it. I believed that.
Octavia nodded. “Good. I’m glad you agree.” She then let out a laugh. “The idea of her ever fitting into your world is ludicrous anyway. I guess I was tired last night. Being too sensitive. I should have known you weren’t interested in someone like her. I’ve never known you to settle for someone so beneath you.”
Bliss York
“BLISS ISN’T LIKE us . . . She’s a farm girl from Alabama with an inferior education and very little sense of the real world. She lives in a bubble here in Sea Breeze. One she won’t ever get out of or hope to break free from . . .”
Those words ran through my head over and over again. Long after I had walked away from Octavia’s office door. I’d needed to confirm a price on sandals she had ordered. That was it. Nothing more.
Yet . . . I’d been crushed instead. A pair of the sandals were still in my hand as I stood in the store front and stared blankly out the window. Farm girl from Alabama. I winced and closed my eyes tightly wishing I could erase that. If only I had waited a few more minutes before walking back there. I’d still be living in my happy bubble where Nate had watched me all evening and my heart had soared with hope.
Nate Finlay
IT HAD BEEN quiet last night on the way back to Octavia’s house. When we walked inside she went to her room and closed the door. No words. Nothing.
There was no question as to what was wrong. I knew. It would take a complete idiot not to know what was up her ass. Hell, I knew this was going to be an issue while I was doing it. But fuck me if I hadn’t been able to stop myself.
Bliss was hard not to watch. I tried. God, I so fucking tried. I did everything I could to keep from looking at her last night. But I was a man and Bliss . . . well Bliss was Bliss. She was hard to ignore. For me she was damn near impossible to ignore.
Finally, I had just given in and watched her. Let my eyes follow her every move. Knowing all along Octavia would notice and a fight would follow. Not because she was a jealous person. She wasn’t. She didn’t have time to focus on anyone other than herself. Very little room for jealousy.
No, Octavia was pissed because my looking at Bliss had been a slap in the face to her. Others saw it. Knew she wasn’t my center of attention and that she couldn’t deal with. I was fairly certain she was just going to take this out on me. Not Bliss.
However, I wasn’t about to test that theory. When I woke up to find Octavia’s bedroom already empty I hurried my ass up and got to her store. Bliss wouldn’t be there for another hour so I had time to fix this shit if she in fact was going to let Bliss go because of me.
Walking into the office that Octavia had me set up for her in the back I could smell the expensive French perfume she loved to wear. It was appealing. One of the first things that got my attention when we met. I liked things to smell good and Octavia always smelled amazing. Money could do that for you.
She shot an annoyed glare my way before going back to whatever she was doing on her computer. “You’re a bastard,” she said with a hiss in her voice.
“I’m sorry.”
I learned from my father that apologizing to a woman was easier than arguing with one. Sometimes this worked and sometimes it didn’t. I was hoping this was one of those times that it worked. The frown in her brow however told me I was fucked. This wasn’t going to be that easy.
“In front of all those people. Never, Nate Finlay, never have you humiliated me that way. If you had, we wouldn’t be engaged and living together right now. I’d be done with you.”
This was dramatic. Not her usual response to things.
“I was trying to figure her out. You’re planning on leaving her here alone to run the place in a little over a month.”
Octavia shot her heated gaze up from the screen and leveled me with it. “Don’t fucking patronize me. She’s beautiful and has that innocent farm girl thing. You couldn’t take your eyes off her. It was obvious to everyone. Including her and she’s as naïve as a female her age can be. Don’t act like you did that for me.”
Okay so maybe I should have gone with a different angle. But damn I didn’t have one. Not really. I wanted to look at her last night and I had given up trying to pretend I wasn’t drawn to her. Fascinated with her. Fuck it to hell. This was not the shit I wanted to deal with. This was not easy. I wanted easy.
“No woman her age that looks like that can be that naïve. I didn’t trust it. I studied how her friends treated her and how she handled herself. You thinking she’s trustworthy because she’s some farm girl from Alabama is fucking naïve if you ask me.”
Had I even sounded believable just now?
Octavia frowned. Like she was thinking about what I’d said as if it made sense. Surely she saw through my bullshit.
“You think I’m being too trustworthy?”
No. Not one damn bit. Bliss was as trustworthy as Octavia was ever going to get in an employee but this seemed to be working so I went with it. Anything to get Octavia over her snit and save Bliss’s job.
“I did. Yes. But you’re right. The girl is everything she appears. A bit immature for her age but she’s middle class and needs a job. She seems willing to prove herself and the people close to her really like her. They trust her. And she didn’t once meet my gaze last night. She didn’t try to flirt or even give me a smile.”
Octavia nodded slowly. “I noticed that. She had to see you watching her but she didn’t take advantage of it. She ignored you completely. I respect that. We need to tell her though the truth. That you had been measuring her up. Testing her. She doesn’t need to think you have any interest in her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t need to think she could fit into your world and mess up the best opportunity she’s going to get in this town. God knows women can be stupid when it comes to you.”
Most of what she had just said pissed me off.
Scratch that.
All of what she had just said pissed me off. I hated the elitist way Octavia’s mind worked. It was the one thing I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to live with the rest of my life. Or any part of my life. Bliss wasn’t less than us because she had grown up differently. My own mother grew up very similar to Bliss and she was one of the smartest women I knew. That meant nothing.
There were some fucking idiots that had grown up at the country club with me. Money didn’t make you important. It wasn’t a one way ticket into the world of the elite. Especially for people like me and Octavia. We weren’t rich. Our parents were. We were trust fund kids. Not exactly impressive.
But Bliss’s job was at stake and I knew I had to play the role. Keep my thoughts to myself. Pretend I agreed. I could question this all later. When I wasn’t standing here in front of a woman that was watching my every expression.
“Bliss isn’t like us. You’re right. She’s a farm girl from Alabama with an inferior education and very little sense of the real world. She lives in a bubble here in Sea Breeze. One she won’t ever get out of or hope to break free from. But that makes her safe. She’s a good employee and one we now know you can trust.”
Just saying all of that bullshit made me hate myself. It wasn’t true. Bliss had beat a disease that took lives daily. If she wanted out of this damn town she’d get out. She’d create herself. She would achieve any goal she set for herself. She would fight until she had it. I believed that.
Octavia nodded. “Good. I’m glad you agree.” She then let out a laugh. “The idea of her ever fitting into your world is ludicrous anyway. I guess I was tired last night. Being too sensitive. I should have known you weren’t interested in someone like her. I’ve never known you to settle for someone so beneath you.”
Bliss York
“BLISS ISN’T LIKE us . . . She’s a farm girl from Alabama with an inferior education and very little sense of the real world. She lives in a bubble here in Sea Breeze. One she won’t ever get out of or hope to break free from . . .”
Those words ran through my head over and over again. Long after I had walked away from Octavia’s office door. I’d needed to confirm a price on sandals she had ordered. That was it. Nothing more.
Yet . . . I’d been crushed instead. A pair of the sandals were still in my hand as I stood in the store front and stared blankly out the window. Farm girl from Alabama. I winced and closed my eyes tightly wishing I could erase that. If only I had waited a few more minutes before walking back there. I’d still be living in my happy bubble where Nate had watched me all evening and my heart had soared with hope.
