Lion's Share
Page 51
I turned on Abby the moment the door closed. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I’m sorry. I haven’t done a damn thing right since we got here.” She twisted her fingers together so tightly, I was afraid they’d break, but she didn’t seem to notice any pain. “But please don’t send me home.”
I leaned against the door to keep it closed. “Hell, yes, I’m going to send you home. Even if I had a choice before, I don’t now. You’re insubordinate and disrespectful, and anyone else would have gotten a fistful for shouting orders at an Alpha.” That was standard; for our society to function, an Alpha had to be respected and obeyed without question, and he had to be worthy of both. “But I can’t discipline you like I’d discipline one of the guys”—not that that had ever been necessary—“because…”
“Because you love me?” She reached for me, and I pushed her hands away, even though every instinct I had told me to pull her closer.
“Don’t muddy the waters,” I snapped, fighting to maintain objectivity. “You’re half my size. That wouldn’t be discipline; that would be assault.” Especially considering that she’d only ever been hit by men who followed up their blows by ripping off her clothes and stealing every bit of trust and security she’d ever had. “I would never hurt you, even if you broke every rule we have.”
What I wanted was to kiss her until she couldn’t argue anymore because her mouth was too busy, but that wouldn’t exactly make my point.
“And you know that. You’re taking advantage of how I feel about you, which means you’re getting away with murder. Figuratively speaking.” The council would never let her get away with what she’d done to Hargrove. “I can’t make you obey the rules, but I can’t let the guys see you walk all over me. You can’t be here anymore, and you know exactly why.”
“I’m so sorry, Jace.” Her tears spilled over. “I didn’t mean for any of this to make you look bad. I would never do that on purpose.”
“Any of what?” There it was again—that glimpse of some hidden purpose behind the chaos she’d thrown my entire territory into. “What’s going on, Abby?”
“Nothing.” She sucked in another shaky breath, then met my gaze again. “I’ll go, if that’s really what you want. Can you just give me a couple of days to get my stuff packed?”
“No. I’ll have it shipped to you.” If she stayed one more night, I’d break down and change my mind. Which she clearly knew.
“Please, Jace. I won’t even go back to the lodge. I’ll just go pack up my dorm room, and you’ll never even know I’m in the territory.”
“No.” I crossed my arms so they couldn’t reach for her, trying not to be swayed by how upset she was. She’d dug her own grave and had refused to let me pull her out of it. “You need to go home, where you’ll be safe. And so your father can start working on your defense.”
“I don’t care about that. I need to be here.”
“Why?” I wanted her to say that I was the reason. That she couldn’t stand even the thought of being away from me, because that was how I felt, after only one night with her. Even after everything she’d done. But I wasn’t the reason she wanted to stay.
Not the only reason, anyway.
“What’s going on, Abby? If you want to stay, you have to tell me the truth.”
“Nothing’s going—”
“Don’t lie to me!” I shouted, and she flinched. “If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I will put you on a plane right now.”
Her eyes watered, but she held my gaze. And her own tongue, possibly for the first time in her life.
“Abby, don’t do this. Tell me what’s wrong. I know you wouldn’t have killed him unless you had to.”
Her tears ran over and her chin began to tremble, and that was all I could take. I wrapped her in my arms, bloody clothes and all, and spoke into her hair. “Let me help you.”
“You can’t. It’s too late,” she said into my chest. “I’d only drag you down with me, and I can’t let that happen.”
“It won’t.” I held her tighter, breathing in her scent. “Don’t make me send you away.” I ran my hands down her back, wishing more than anything in the world that we could just rewind the day and wake up in bed together, so I could fix this. So that she would never get blood on her hands and I wouldn’t lose her. “Please, Abby. I love you.”
Her next breath came with a soft, surprised sound. Then she stiffened and pushed me away. “Don’t say that.” Her eyes were full of tears again and her voice was strained, as if she was holding back more than she was saying. “Not like this. Please don’t tell me you love me, then kick me out of your life.”
“Don’t make me kick you out.” A perilous mix of heartache and anger stormed inside me. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to help her. I wanted to keep her. But she wouldn’t budge. “Tell me what’s going on!”
“Stop asking!” she shouted. “I can’t!”
My temper snapped. I turned and pulled the door open before she could say anything else. “Lucas!” I called, and he jogged up the steps and into the kitchen, obviously having heard every word. “Put her on a plane.”
“No!” Abby reached for me, but I stepped back and gave her brother a signal he couldn’t possibly misunderstand. He took her by both arms, holding her in physical custody, and glared at me over her head the entire time. He might never forgive me for it, but he would follow my orders, both because I was his Alpha and because I was right.
Any other Alpha would have fired her long before.
“You want me to take her now?” Luke glanced pointedly at the dead body. “What about him?”
“We’ll clean this up. Stop somewhere and get her something to change into, then buy her a ticket and give your parents the flight information. I’ll tell your dad she’s on the way. And that she’s all his.”
“Jace, please!” Abby tried to reach for me, but she couldn’t break her brother’s grip. “Please don’t do this!”
“Get her out of here.” I made myself watch as Lucas hauled his sister out the door and into the woods, even though it felt like he’d just taken my heart with him.
“I’m sorry. I haven’t done a damn thing right since we got here.” She twisted her fingers together so tightly, I was afraid they’d break, but she didn’t seem to notice any pain. “But please don’t send me home.”
I leaned against the door to keep it closed. “Hell, yes, I’m going to send you home. Even if I had a choice before, I don’t now. You’re insubordinate and disrespectful, and anyone else would have gotten a fistful for shouting orders at an Alpha.” That was standard; for our society to function, an Alpha had to be respected and obeyed without question, and he had to be worthy of both. “But I can’t discipline you like I’d discipline one of the guys”—not that that had ever been necessary—“because…”
“Because you love me?” She reached for me, and I pushed her hands away, even though every instinct I had told me to pull her closer.
“Don’t muddy the waters,” I snapped, fighting to maintain objectivity. “You’re half my size. That wouldn’t be discipline; that would be assault.” Especially considering that she’d only ever been hit by men who followed up their blows by ripping off her clothes and stealing every bit of trust and security she’d ever had. “I would never hurt you, even if you broke every rule we have.”
What I wanted was to kiss her until she couldn’t argue anymore because her mouth was too busy, but that wouldn’t exactly make my point.
“And you know that. You’re taking advantage of how I feel about you, which means you’re getting away with murder. Figuratively speaking.” The council would never let her get away with what she’d done to Hargrove. “I can’t make you obey the rules, but I can’t let the guys see you walk all over me. You can’t be here anymore, and you know exactly why.”
“I’m so sorry, Jace.” Her tears spilled over. “I didn’t mean for any of this to make you look bad. I would never do that on purpose.”
“Any of what?” There it was again—that glimpse of some hidden purpose behind the chaos she’d thrown my entire territory into. “What’s going on, Abby?”
“Nothing.” She sucked in another shaky breath, then met my gaze again. “I’ll go, if that’s really what you want. Can you just give me a couple of days to get my stuff packed?”
“No. I’ll have it shipped to you.” If she stayed one more night, I’d break down and change my mind. Which she clearly knew.
“Please, Jace. I won’t even go back to the lodge. I’ll just go pack up my dorm room, and you’ll never even know I’m in the territory.”
“No.” I crossed my arms so they couldn’t reach for her, trying not to be swayed by how upset she was. She’d dug her own grave and had refused to let me pull her out of it. “You need to go home, where you’ll be safe. And so your father can start working on your defense.”
“I don’t care about that. I need to be here.”
“Why?” I wanted her to say that I was the reason. That she couldn’t stand even the thought of being away from me, because that was how I felt, after only one night with her. Even after everything she’d done. But I wasn’t the reason she wanted to stay.
Not the only reason, anyway.
“What’s going on, Abby? If you want to stay, you have to tell me the truth.”
“Nothing’s going—”
“Don’t lie to me!” I shouted, and she flinched. “If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I will put you on a plane right now.”
Her eyes watered, but she held my gaze. And her own tongue, possibly for the first time in her life.
“Abby, don’t do this. Tell me what’s wrong. I know you wouldn’t have killed him unless you had to.”
Her tears ran over and her chin began to tremble, and that was all I could take. I wrapped her in my arms, bloody clothes and all, and spoke into her hair. “Let me help you.”
“You can’t. It’s too late,” she said into my chest. “I’d only drag you down with me, and I can’t let that happen.”
“It won’t.” I held her tighter, breathing in her scent. “Don’t make me send you away.” I ran my hands down her back, wishing more than anything in the world that we could just rewind the day and wake up in bed together, so I could fix this. So that she would never get blood on her hands and I wouldn’t lose her. “Please, Abby. I love you.”
Her next breath came with a soft, surprised sound. Then she stiffened and pushed me away. “Don’t say that.” Her eyes were full of tears again and her voice was strained, as if she was holding back more than she was saying. “Not like this. Please don’t tell me you love me, then kick me out of your life.”
“Don’t make me kick you out.” A perilous mix of heartache and anger stormed inside me. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to help her. I wanted to keep her. But she wouldn’t budge. “Tell me what’s going on!”
“Stop asking!” she shouted. “I can’t!”
My temper snapped. I turned and pulled the door open before she could say anything else. “Lucas!” I called, and he jogged up the steps and into the kitchen, obviously having heard every word. “Put her on a plane.”
“No!” Abby reached for me, but I stepped back and gave her brother a signal he couldn’t possibly misunderstand. He took her by both arms, holding her in physical custody, and glared at me over her head the entire time. He might never forgive me for it, but he would follow my orders, both because I was his Alpha and because I was right.
Any other Alpha would have fired her long before.
“You want me to take her now?” Luke glanced pointedly at the dead body. “What about him?”
“We’ll clean this up. Stop somewhere and get her something to change into, then buy her a ticket and give your parents the flight information. I’ll tell your dad she’s on the way. And that she’s all his.”
“Jace, please!” Abby tried to reach for me, but she couldn’t break her brother’s grip. “Please don’t do this!”
“Get her out of here.” I made myself watch as Lucas hauled his sister out the door and into the woods, even though it felt like he’d just taken my heart with him.
