Logan Kade
Page 32
“Oh,” he said. His face twitched, then cleared. He gave me a smile. “I’ll, uh, I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
He nodded to Logan, then headed back, his shoulders slumped a bit. I felt a twinge of sympathy for him.
“Don’t do that.”
I turned to Logan. He shook his head.
“Do what?” I asked.
“Feel sorry for that pretentious prick.”
I pressed my lips into a disapproving line. “You don’t know he’s like that.”
He scoffed. “You do.” He gestured to my face. “It’s written all over you. And you feel sorry for him because of what? I’m the big, bad asshole, and he came off looking like a regular nice guy next to me? Please.”
He stood up and ran a hand through his hair. His hadn’t been combed perfectly like Jeremy’s. It was already messy, and when his hand dropped back to his side, it was even messier, which added to his already dangerous allure.
“Don’t be fooled by that guy,” he said. “If you were in a bad spot, a guy like that wouldn’t save you. He’d save his own ass. But me?” He stepped closer, softening his voice. “I’ll always save you.”
“Eric!” Someone was screaming in my ear. I didn’t know who it was, but as Eric looked at me, I realized it was me. I reached out. He could pull me to safety. I looked for my mom again. I didn’t know where she was.
A gunshot boomed from down the hallway.
A second scream started in my throat, but I slammed a hand over my mouth. I couldn’t let it out. They’d find me…
The flashback ripped through me. Everything lurched inside me and I clenched my eyes shut, lowering my head. I didn’t want memories. I couldn’t handle them. Even now, I was trembling, my teeth rattling against each other.
“Hey.” Logan’s voice was low and soothing. He stepped even closer. I could feel his body heat, and his hand touched my arm. “What just happened?”
I reached up to move his hand off me, but found myself holding it instead.
“Taylor?”
I concentrated on breathing. That was what the counselor had said to do. One breath. Hold. Five, four, three—I counted down and exhaled, repeating the countdown. In through the stomach, out through the lungs. I cycled through the process, and when I was done, my forehead rested on Logan’s chest. His free hand held the back of my head, keeping me in place. His other hand tangled with mine, our fingers laced together.
When the pressure began to ease, I looked up to blink at him, clearing the tears that had come with the panic. I felt ridiculous.
He shook his head. “Don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t be embarrassed by that. I can see it on your face. You had a small panic attack just now?”
It was a flashback, but I nodded. It was easier to let him think it was a panic attack. “You get them?” I asked.
“I used to, when I was little. I had a few.”
“Someone helped you through them?”
“My brother.” His eyes lowered, shielding him. I couldn’t see into him anymore. He’d put up a wall.
I stepped back, and his hand fell from my neck. The shield he’d projected brought me back to reality. I didn’t know him—not like I knew Claire, not like Jason.
I lifted a shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
His jaw hardened, and he looked past me. “Don’t be. Shit happens.”
Apparently. I wanted to ask what shit happened to him, but held my tongue. He didn’t want to tell me. That was obvious. Still, if he hadn’t held me, I’d still be stuck in the flashbacks. When they came, they were like a tornado, circling through me over and over again. Instead, Logan eased me out of it. The tornado only came through once this time.
“Okay.” I looked to my car. “I should get going.”
“Wait,” he said. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Yeah?”
The wall fell away. “Why’d you stop going to class?” he asked softly.
Oh. This. I should’ve had an excuse at the ready. I didn’t. “I switched sections.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why?”
I shrugged, looking away. “It just worked better with my schedule.”
“Nope.” He laughed quietly. “I don’t buy it. I think you’re avoiding me.”
“Really?” My lip twitched. “I’d change my entire schedule around because of one guy? Who I’ve only known for a couple of weeks?”
His smile appeared, stretching to show the dimple in his cheek. “I’m Logan Motherfucking Kade. I’d switch classes, too. I mean, shit. If I were a chick? I’d be all over me. I couldn’t keep myself away from me.” He let out a whistle. “Bring out the handcuffs and bullwhips. We’re going the BDSM route.”
I grinned, feeling some relief. “You don’t have a self-esteem problem. That’s for sure.”
He grunted, his eyes growing serious again. “Why would I?” He gestured up and down himself. “I’m awesome. No one can forget it.”
I laughed out loud, shaking my head.
His grin dimmed, and he gazed back toward where Jeremy went. “Are you really not in the party mood?”
“Why?”
“You answer first.”
I thought for a moment. I hadn’t felt like being at that party tonight. I went because—I couldn’t remember anymore. It had been nice to talk to Claire, though. I smiled at that thought, and then I knew he had me.
“Yeah.”
He nodded to Logan, then headed back, his shoulders slumped a bit. I felt a twinge of sympathy for him.
“Don’t do that.”
I turned to Logan. He shook his head.
“Do what?” I asked.
“Feel sorry for that pretentious prick.”
I pressed my lips into a disapproving line. “You don’t know he’s like that.”
He scoffed. “You do.” He gestured to my face. “It’s written all over you. And you feel sorry for him because of what? I’m the big, bad asshole, and he came off looking like a regular nice guy next to me? Please.”
He stood up and ran a hand through his hair. His hadn’t been combed perfectly like Jeremy’s. It was already messy, and when his hand dropped back to his side, it was even messier, which added to his already dangerous allure.
“Don’t be fooled by that guy,” he said. “If you were in a bad spot, a guy like that wouldn’t save you. He’d save his own ass. But me?” He stepped closer, softening his voice. “I’ll always save you.”
“Eric!” Someone was screaming in my ear. I didn’t know who it was, but as Eric looked at me, I realized it was me. I reached out. He could pull me to safety. I looked for my mom again. I didn’t know where she was.
A gunshot boomed from down the hallway.
A second scream started in my throat, but I slammed a hand over my mouth. I couldn’t let it out. They’d find me…
The flashback ripped through me. Everything lurched inside me and I clenched my eyes shut, lowering my head. I didn’t want memories. I couldn’t handle them. Even now, I was trembling, my teeth rattling against each other.
“Hey.” Logan’s voice was low and soothing. He stepped even closer. I could feel his body heat, and his hand touched my arm. “What just happened?”
I reached up to move his hand off me, but found myself holding it instead.
“Taylor?”
I concentrated on breathing. That was what the counselor had said to do. One breath. Hold. Five, four, three—I counted down and exhaled, repeating the countdown. In through the stomach, out through the lungs. I cycled through the process, and when I was done, my forehead rested on Logan’s chest. His free hand held the back of my head, keeping me in place. His other hand tangled with mine, our fingers laced together.
When the pressure began to ease, I looked up to blink at him, clearing the tears that had come with the panic. I felt ridiculous.
He shook his head. “Don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t be embarrassed by that. I can see it on your face. You had a small panic attack just now?”
It was a flashback, but I nodded. It was easier to let him think it was a panic attack. “You get them?” I asked.
“I used to, when I was little. I had a few.”
“Someone helped you through them?”
“My brother.” His eyes lowered, shielding him. I couldn’t see into him anymore. He’d put up a wall.
I stepped back, and his hand fell from my neck. The shield he’d projected brought me back to reality. I didn’t know him—not like I knew Claire, not like Jason.
I lifted a shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
His jaw hardened, and he looked past me. “Don’t be. Shit happens.”
Apparently. I wanted to ask what shit happened to him, but held my tongue. He didn’t want to tell me. That was obvious. Still, if he hadn’t held me, I’d still be stuck in the flashbacks. When they came, they were like a tornado, circling through me over and over again. Instead, Logan eased me out of it. The tornado only came through once this time.
“Okay.” I looked to my car. “I should get going.”
“Wait,” he said. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Yeah?”
The wall fell away. “Why’d you stop going to class?” he asked softly.
Oh. This. I should’ve had an excuse at the ready. I didn’t. “I switched sections.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why?”
I shrugged, looking away. “It just worked better with my schedule.”
“Nope.” He laughed quietly. “I don’t buy it. I think you’re avoiding me.”
“Really?” My lip twitched. “I’d change my entire schedule around because of one guy? Who I’ve only known for a couple of weeks?”
His smile appeared, stretching to show the dimple in his cheek. “I’m Logan Motherfucking Kade. I’d switch classes, too. I mean, shit. If I were a chick? I’d be all over me. I couldn’t keep myself away from me.” He let out a whistle. “Bring out the handcuffs and bullwhips. We’re going the BDSM route.”
I grinned, feeling some relief. “You don’t have a self-esteem problem. That’s for sure.”
He grunted, his eyes growing serious again. “Why would I?” He gestured up and down himself. “I’m awesome. No one can forget it.”
I laughed out loud, shaking my head.
His grin dimmed, and he gazed back toward where Jeremy went. “Are you really not in the party mood?”
“Why?”
“You answer first.”
I thought for a moment. I hadn’t felt like being at that party tonight. I went because—I couldn’t remember anymore. It had been nice to talk to Claire, though. I smiled at that thought, and then I knew he had me.
